C335

Qin Hao is sitting on the sofa in the living room, staring at his toes. He suddenly doesn't want to go home. Anyway, there is no one at home. He received a short message from mu Qianxue not long ago. He sleeps in the office because he has to work overtime tonight.

He was in a daze.

What Bai Ruolin said before leaving touched the sensitive place in his heart.

He thought that he had looked down on these things in the past two years when he restrained himself from evil spirits in the mountains. But when he heard about it, he found that he still overestimated himself. At least, when he heard the memorial service and the military parade, his heart would still be filled with waves.

In this regard, he felt that he was cheap, and he hated the feeling. He did not understand where this chaotic and impulsive emotion came from.

It is clear that the zero team is gone, and all the brothers are dead. There is no indication on it. It just gives a so-called secret medal. It dares not to release any information and does not agree to retaliate, because the task is not to carry the national label, otherwise it will bring trouble to the country.

Yes, they used to sacrifice their lives and families for the sake of this country, but what happened? There's only one medal. It can't be displayed yet.

There is no rescue, no so-called revenge. Even now, even the family members of the brothers do not know how they died, whether to win glory for the country or to die in an accident. Even a martyr can't do it. They die so unknowingly.

In fact, Qin Hao did not finish that sentence with Bai Ruolin. In his opinion, it is not only that they do not owe the country, but the country owes them. What they have done is too chilling.

He can't help complaining. Why? Why should people like them die in silence? Why should they not even have a tombstone or a martyr? Why can't they even have an account from their families when they die.

Why!

In those two years, they risked their lives to pay for the country, but when they were most desperate, they were all given up. No one can understand this feeling. No one can understand the bitterness, resentment and dissatisfaction in Qin Hao's heart.

He hated himself, his weakness, and his lack of ruthlessness. He had already been abandoned and hurt so deeply. After hearing the conditions of recall, he was still moved by the mean heart. This so-called recklessness is not worth it at all!

However, he also wants to correct the names of his brothers, whether it is a memorial service or a military parade. All this means that the state is willing to recognize the identity of the zero team and admit that they sacrificed for their country. Their names may also appear on the monument.

He knows the dream of brothers, so what is it for? Just to protect the country and benefit the people? No, they also want to one day wear formal military uniform, can wear medals in front of their families, to show their glory to their elderly parents, beautiful wives, lovely children.

Instead of like now, the dead are not clear. There is nothing on the grave except a name. Even a dead dog should have its identity and ownership, right?

Is this life?

Qin Hao picks up his mobile phone, dials mu Qianxue's phone, and hangs up before he can get through. He remembers that she should still be working at the moment. It's late at night, and she's not in good health. It's better not to disturb her.

After a moment's hesitation, he sends a text message.

"Wife, I miss you so much

After sending a text message, Qin Hao threw his mobile phone aside, half lying on the sofa looking up at the ceiling. He didn't want to move.

"What's the matter? In a bad mood? " A soft body with fragrance sat next to Qin Hao, close to him.

This kind of aroma is very familiar to Qin Hao. It has a faint fragrance and is very pleasant to smell.

He held Yunshan in his arms, buried his face in his chest and rubbed it without speaking, just like a child looking for milk to drink.

Yunshan didn't get to the bottom of the matter. She rubbed her little hand on Qin Hao's head, put her fingers into his hair, and slowly combed him. At this time, she seemed to be wearing the aura of motherhood. A hug and a comforting action can bring comfort to Qin Hao.

Elder sister as mother, this kind of half sister, half mother, love, doting feeling is mu Qianxue, or Qin Hao's existing women can not give, only Yunshan can.

After ten minutes of quiet dallying, Qin Hao raises his head and looks at Xiang Yunshan.

Yunshan naturally saw Qin Hao's eyes. With a smile on her face, she gently asked, "what's the matter? You want to talk to me? "

"It's OK. I'm just upset." Qin Hao takes back his eyes, touches Yunshan's soft sweet thin lips, and lies back.

Just at that moment, he was almost ready to talk to Yunshan about what happened on the rooftop just now, and it was a very strong impulse.

But in that moment passed, he suddenly changed his decision, he felt that he could not say.

It's not that Yunshan is not good enough. Qin Hao is sure that if he wants to say something, Yunshan will be willing to listen and even help him find a way. But, after all, these things involve too much, many are confidential, said will only bring trouble to Yunshan, he does not want to.He knew that Yunshan finally gave up her obsession by killing Wan Xiong to avenge her betrayal to Yuntian. She began to live a mediocre life that she wanted and did her favorite doctor's work.

Such a she, enough happiness, Qin Hao does not want to destroy, he can not give Yunshan a complete him, the heart has enough guilt, how can you bring trouble to her? Even if she is willing to.

After all, he is a man!

It was at this moment that Qin Hao understood a truth. In fact, there is no one in the world who can share everything. Even family members and lovers have their own secrets. There are various reasons why they can't be said.

Qin Hao suddenly felt that he was a little weak, and he suddenly had the idea of telling. Yes, it seems that there are more and more women around him, and his life is becoming more and more ordinary people. He has also changed.

Whether it was concubine Luomi's sudden arrival before that made him feel the pain of betrayal, telling it in Mu Qianxue's arms, or now lying in Yunshan's arms, these are things that he would not, and did not disdain, do not need to do before.

What's wrong with yourself? The more you live, the more you go back?

"You're not going back tonight?" I don't know how long, Yunshan moved a little bit, because of the long sitting numbness of the body, glanced at the time displayed on the mobile phone, gently asked.

"No more." Some of Qin Hao's nostalgia crawled out of Yunshan's arms, scratched her messy hair and curled her lips: "anyway, there's no one to go back to. It's better to stay here for a night. At least, sister Shan will accompany me."

"Well, go take a bath first. If Yao Yao doesn't come back tonight, you can sleep in his room. If you don't want to, my room won't be locked." Yunshan face as usual said, there is no shy mood.

For her, Qin Hao seems to have always been a child, or the "Shanshan elder sister" who follows her buttocks all the time, and "Shanshan elder sister" calls a non-stop introverted slug.

Her sister took her brother to sleep. When she was a child, she didn't know how many times she had brought Qin Hao. Now she still feels that it is no different from before.

Therefore, the relationship between them is very strange. They are clearly like brothers and sisters, not like lovers at all, but they have the identity of lovers. They even do things like lovers. It feels like two people give each other, one gives hope for survival, the other gives love, dotes and is needed.

"Well, sister Shan, go to bed early. I'll sit by myself for a while, and I'll see to it."

Anyway, he can't do bad things now. For him, sleeping in Yunshan's room is the same as sleeping in Song Yao's room. Of course, he is still inclined to Yunshan. Now he is more and more delicate. If no one holds him in his arms, he will think of some messy things and can't sleep.

PS: there are two more, for flowers.........................

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