"She didn't say. She seemed to have expectations for that man, but in fact, she didn't have confidence in herself. Don't blame your sister. She was bitter enough. She hasn't had a good life for a few days since she grew up."

The next day, Xu Yao came to Xu LAN. That's what she said.

However, he couldn't fully understand his sister at that time. He hated her more. He hated that iron can't become steel.

My sister's life is ruined.

At noon, song Jieli knocked on the gate with two fish. He stood in the yard and said to Xu Ru with a big stomach, "is ah Rong there? He asked me to touch the fish and said it was to mend your body."

"Thank you. He went out with a Guang." Xu Ru said.

"Thank you for what, 50 cents." Song jieji grinned.

"......." Xu Ru was stunned and nodded, "I'll get you money."

"No, it's inconvenient for you. I'll ask Arong for it when he comes back."

With these words, song Jiefang scooped a basin of water in the basin and raised the half dead fish.

This man is idle and doesn't like to work in the field. He is good at fishing, catching birds and playing wild. He is also the only one who doesn't "comment" on Xu Ru. Maybe he is a rotten person himself, and he is not qualified to say others. Maybe he was not interested in chewing his tongue, or he was afraid of Xu Yao beating him.

The day of childbirth will soon come.

Mr. Xu Ru didn't go to the county hospital. At that time, he was not able to go to the hospital. In rural areas, he was generally born in village doctors, which was slightly better than barefoot doctors. He had studied medicine for several years, but his level was certainly very poor. Otherwise, he would not be in rural areas, but in hospitals.

Xujia town is too poor to have a health center. There is a health center in the next town.

From noon, the amniotic fluid broke and began to labor, until 10 p.m., the child was born.

boy.

The dust settled.

When she was a mother for the first time in her life, Xu Ru threw away all her troubles, leaving only her mother's love.

Xu Yao felt that he should have hated the child, but when he saw the bright red baby sleeping in swaddling clothes, he couldn't open his eyes to see the world, holding his small fist and sleeping quietly.

His heart suddenly softened.

Due to malnutrition, the child was born only 2.4 kg, medium to small.

"How cute is the little doll? Have you named him?"

Xu LAN, with a big stomach, looked at the side and smiled.

Xu Ru shook her head and said helplessly, "ah Rong refused to help take it, but he still had a thorn in his heart."

Xu Lan said angrily, "don't pay attention to him. I have prepared several names here. Why don't you choose one?"

"What name?"

"Qin Hao, Qin Xiaofan... Just choose one and change your surname to Xu." Xu Lan said excitedly, "Xu Xiaofan doesn't sound good. It's better to call him Xu Hao."

Xu Ru nodded and said with a smile, "OK."

"By the way, I brought milk powder here, and you can use it first. When giving birth to a baby, I give out more milk, which should be enough." Xu Landao.

Due to Xu Ru's severe bone deficiency and long-term malnutrition, there is no milk. She didn't refuse her son's rations after all.

A very realistic and serious problem is in front of us. The sister and brother, who were dependent on each other since childhood, are still dependent on each other and have a little more life.

In the case of postpartum weakness of her sister, who carried the beam independently, life seemed unsustainable.

Raising children is not easy. Later statistics showed that more than 40 million children died in the 1990s.

That night, Xu Ru looked at the child and said nothing.

The next morning, he called Xu Yao to his room alone and asked him, "do you miss college?"

Xu Yao was speechless, and his eyes fell on the baby's face.

In his sleep, the baby suddenly shivered, and the weak mosquito chirped a few times.

Xu Ru hurriedly comforted the child.

"Don't worry about him, you say, do you want to." Xu Ru said.

"Yes!" Xu Yaodao.

He thought, unprecedented.

Reading can change fate and restore dignity.

He is eager to stand out, to get rid of poverty, and more eager to recover his sister's lost dignity.

Xu Ru nodded.

After a few days like this, one night, Xu Ru was suddenly awakened by an urgent knock on the door, and the baby cried loudly.

"A Rong, sister Ru," Xu Guang said in a crying voice, "my sister fell down."

Slap the door hard.

Xu Ru sat up in surprise, and her sleepiness disappeared. Without waiting for her to shout, Xu Yao in the next room had rushed to the yard, opened the door, and stood at the door with a worried Xu Guang.

"What's going on?"

"My sister slipped in the bathroom at night. She, she is all blood

When Xu Ru heard it, her face turned pale and she didn't care to appease the child. She shouted, "a Rong, a Rong

No one answered her. Xu Yao had already run out of the house with Xu Guang.

.......

At five o'clock the next morning, it was dawn, and Xu Ru, who had not slept all night, finally waited until her brother came back.

"We took her to the health center. Xiao Lan was delirious at that time and couldn't have a natural birth at all. There was no way. The fetus might have been injured. Let's send us to the hospital. The car of the health center took us to the county. The hospital gave her a caesarean section. The child was alive when he first came out, but he couldn't survive for two hours. The doctor didn't save her and went......" Xu Yao's eyes were full of blood.

"Where's Xiao Lan?" Xu Ru cried.

"Before she wakes up, a Guang is in the hospital, crouching outside the ward and crying." Xu Yao covered his face and said in a trembling voice, "a good child, if you say no, it's gone."

After a while, Xu Ru said, "ah Rong, let's go to the county seat. Now."

It was six o'clock in the morning when I arrived at the hospital. There were no people in the hospital. The air was filled with the smell of disinfectant. On the bench in the corridor, I could see oneortwo sporadic patients hanging drops.

The nurse on the night shift looked tired.

In the small ward, Xu Ru saw Xu LAN. She had woken up and looked at the ceiling with wide eyes, like a lifeless paper flower.

Xu Guang, with red eyes, sat beside the hospital bed.

"A Rong, a Guang, you go out for a while. I have something to say to Xiao Lan." Xu Ru said, holding the child in her arms.

After the two left, she sat by the bed and whispered, "the child is gone."

In a word, Xu LAN seemed to wake up at the edge of despair. Her expressionless face, her eyelashes trembled, and then she began to cry, crying heartbroken, a mother who had lost her child.

"Nothing is impossible." Xu Ru said, "for so many years, it's all up to this sentence that my sister can survive until now. Every time I feel desperate, I think about a Rong, and there is hope in my heart. You still have a baby, you can't collapse."

"A Guang said it was a son." Xu Lan said softly.

There was a strange silence on her expression.

"I gave birth to a baby at my first birth. It's a girl. Although he didn't say anything, I know he wants a son."

"I thought, since I married the Qin family, I should give birth to someone who can carry on the family line."

"The child is gone, and now the investigation is so strict.... my father doesn't want me to have another child, so I quarreled with my parents. A person like him, without this child, even if he wants a son again, he won't let me have another child."

"A Guang said it was a son... He always wanted a son... I can't lose this child, I can't lose him... Woo woo, my child."

At first, she was able to speak steadily, and gradually became emotionally excited. Xu LAN cried and twitched all over, and her words were incoherent.

Xu Ru put the baby in her arms beside her and said in a deep voice, "in the future, he will be your son."

Her voice is very light, and the expression on her face is very complex, which is intertwined with pain.

Xu LAN stopped crying and looked at her without saying a word.

"He is your son." Xu Ru repeated.

"Are you comforting me?"

"No, I'm serious." Xu Rudao.

"Why?"

"A Rong said that he missed college, and I couldn't afford to study for him, let alone raise this child. As a notorious woman like me, who can I marry?" Xu Ru smiled sadly, "my child and a Rong are my burden. I can't bear the fate of both of them at the same time. I have to give up one."

Xu Ru trembled her fingertips and stroked the child's cheek: "maybe in your eyes, the birth of this child is a mistake, so between the two, I choose Arong. I will bear my mistakes, and I will bear all the pain and regret in the future. At least I am still worthy of my parents."

"You're right. A child can't live without his father. Xiao Lan, you can give him a better family and a better growth environment. He can grow up carefree and don't have to worry about being scolded by others in the future."

"Your husband wants a son. It's conceivable how sad he will be when he learns the bad news. You are also afraid that this matter will become a knot between you husband and wife, right?"

Xu Ru burst into tears: "Xiao Lan, let's think it's us who save each other."

Xu LAN reached out and wanted to touch the child, but at the moment of touching, she retracted her hand like an electric shock.

She was stunned for a long time, "sister Ru, from today on, this child is mine, and it has nothing to do with your family anymore. I will raise him up, give him the best environment, and raise him as my own son. You and a Rong can't repent in the future."

"OK." Xu Rudao.

When she said this word, she collapsed all at once.

"What can I do for you?"

"... when he grows up in the future, I will bring him to Xujia town to see me every summer vacation."

"OK."

Outside the door, two teenagers stood there.

"Why are you two standing at the door?" The doctor in white coat walked to the door of the ward.

Both teenagers were in tears, and the doctor was not surprised at all.

He pushed the door in, glanced at the ward, and held a stack of reports in his hand: "did you come last night? The doctor left work last night, and I'm in charge of your ward. Sorry, I'll re register here, what's my name?"

Xu LAN opened her mouth.

Xu Ru said, "Xu Ru!"

"Xu Ru, right?" The doctor brushed and wrote a few words, "later, I'll ask the nurse to take you for examination. Pay more attention to your body after abortion, or you will fall into the root of the disease."

.......

Soon, rumors spread in Xujia town.

Xu Ru's child died prematurely, and the wild seed conceived outside had a poor life. Xu LAN, who came to Xujia town to raise her fetus, gave birth to a fat boy after convalescing in the hospital for a month.

Later, Xu Ru married the man who had never "commented" on her, a man who was idle and did not work.

An unmarried pregnant woman, a delicious and lazy man.

It's a good match, isn't it.

Many days ago, Xu Yao said he wanted to go to college. The next day, song Jiehe sent fish again.

"Ah Rong asked you to send fish again?" Xu Ru said awkwardly, "sorry, there is not much money at home."

I haven't had much money for so long.

"No money, just two fish for the villagers." Song relayed, "you're pregnant, so you have to mend your body... At least we've known each other since childhood."

Xu Ru was stunned, hesitated, hesitated, "do you have an object now?"

"Who will marry me?" Song repeater scratched his head.

"Do you have a wife, Ben?"

Why do you ask this? It's a little strange. Song Jiejiang said, "although I like gambling, whether I win or lose, I save a little money. If I save it, my wife will have it."

"Will you marry me?"

"I won't raise a son."

"Don't worry, I'll give it away."

"Really?"

"But you have to help me with a Rong's study."

.........

For Xu Ru, it is the best ending rather than giving it to others and to her best friend who grew up as a child.

Song Jieyou is also trustworthy. Weak men have the advantage of weakness.

On the day Xu LAN left, Xu Yao stood outside the town and watched the bus go away.

Never smoking, he squatted on the roadside and smoked a whole pack of cigarettes.

Later, Xu Yao got his wish to go to college and become famous.

But his sister who lost money can't pay back in his life.

He regretted that morning countless times and said to himself, "I want to!"!

In the years since then, he rarely set foot in Xujia town. He married Miss Qianjin in Wencheng and settled in Wencheng.

People in Xujia town said that this grass chicken flew onto the branches and became a Golden Phoenix. He forgot Ben. In fact, he was afraid to face his sister.

Every time he faced his elder sister's aging face, he would think of that unbearable past.

"On the day of her death, she said a lot to me, saying that she didn't disappoint her parents and that I finally stood out. But I know what she wanted to say most was" aze ". We have been working hard to change our destiny all our lives, but I can't change the past all my life. "

Xu Yao sat in front of the grave, his expensive suit covered with dust.

"After my sister died, the biggest obsession in my life is not to stand out. It is to bring you here one day, point to this monument and say to you: she is your biological mother."

"This is her greatest wish before she died. She didn't say it, but I know it. It's because of me that you separated your mother and son for more than 20 years. Everything is my fault and my responsibility."

This is the biggest pain in his life.

So he went crazy like letting Qin Ze "recognize his ancestors and return to his ancestors" to make up for his mistakes in those years.

I want to make my conscience better.

"But we promised Xiao Lan that we would never mention it again in our life. As long as she didn't agree, I wouldn't take the initiative."

Qin Ze said astringently, "that is to say, my father... Doesn't know this."

"This is not important." Xu Yaodao.

"Aze, don't tell your father the truth. It may be your mother's fault to hide it from him, but this kind of thing can only be kept hidden. The longer it takes, the less it can be said." Xu Guang's almost pleading voice.

This is very important, very important.

Qin Zexin said.

He read the old man's diary and had some points in his heart, but he hoped that the old man knew it, but rotted it in his stomach and pretended to have a son.

You think, any man knows that his son, who has been raised for more than 20 years, is not his own.

The mentality has exploded.

The situation will get out of control at that time. What should mom do?

What about my sister and me?

"Sorry, I don't know who your biological father is." Xu Yao said dejectedly.

"It doesn't matter, just think he's dead." Qin Ze's tone was flat.

I have only one father. His name is Qin Jianzhang.

"And Zhilong..."

"What does it have to do with me?" Qin Ze interrupted him, "I have no brothers, only my sister. I can accept what happened that year and face my biological mother calmly, and I can also face your uncle calmly, but that's all. I have my life and my family. There's no need to disconnect, but I hope you won't take the initiative to disturb my life in the future, especially in front of my mother."

Xu Yao nodded.

Crying bitterly, untiing the knot of many years, he was much more relaxed.

"Can you call her mom?" Xu Yao expected.

Qin Ze was stunned. He stared at the tombstone.

Opened his mouth, a very simple word, but how also spit out.

.......

High speed rail to Shanghai stock market.

Su Yu snuggled up in Qin Ze's arms. Women are always emotional. After a few kilograms of tears for her lover's biological mother, Su Yu became wilting and did not slow down for a while.

Qin Ze was much more calm.

"Do you feel too cold?" Qin Ze's fingertips ran through her hair.

Su Yu wanted to shake her head, but finally nodded.

"Sadness doesn't have to be shown. The past is gone, and the person who left will never come back. You can't change anything." Qin Ze sighed, "if she were still alive, I would treat her better, but as they agreed, I will always have only one mother."

It's better to be kind than to be kind.

"You don't want to know who your biological father is?"

"Do you think I should go to him?"

Su Yu thought for a while, shook her head and said, "you shouldn't go looking for it, but you just can't help thinking."

"Think? Why do you want to think? He may still be in that small county, living a mediocre life, and may sigh that he had an illegitimate child in those years. But what does it have to do with me? The world is so big, can I find it?"

"It's all said, let's treat him as dead."

Why are you looking for him? Why do you cry with hugs and recognize each other?

I'm also afraid that he will stick to me like a dog's skin plaster. Anyway, he is also a big man worth 10 billion.

At that time, my family will not be peaceful?

2018, September midsummer.

Qin Ze, who finally learned his life experience, can finally face his life more calmly.