Chapter 87 - 87 - Thoughts

We stayed quiet for a while after reading the records. I asked Aaron to take it back to the archives so Jayden and I were left in his study, thinking.

I leaned on his shoulder and I felt him kiss me on top of my head.

I took a deep breath and finally broke the silence.

"Hey what's on your mind? I'm getting nervous if you don't say something." I said, pouting.

He chuckled. "Nothing. Just that fate really messed up our lives, but I was still thankful because I met you. Your father might be the reason mom was dead but you are the reason my heart was still beating." He said.

I tilted my chin up to stare at him. I couldn't see any anger or bitterness in his eyes, it was pure love and understanding.

"I'm happy I'm with you." I simply said. My heart was beating faster. I really am in love with this man. I thought inwardly.

"Let's not think about what we found out. It's still not clear about my mother. Let's ask him directly when we meet him." He said, softly.

I nodded and smiled at him. It wasn't really clear what happened after the two engagements were broken. It just said that after his engagement with my mom was broken, my father got engaged to Jayden's mom. After his mom also ran away and married his dad, Matthew Forelli kept his silence and was never seen in public. 

Maybe because of the humiliation that two women ran away from him, he couldn't face the people anymore.

But I couldn't understand why mom had a relationship with him after humiliating him by running away with another man. Did father love one of those women? Did he feel anything towards my mother or to Jayden's mom? Or it was just really a marriage to maintain peace between the Mafia and the kingdom. Is he married now? Do I have siblings on his side? There's a lot I wanted to know about him. I wanted to ask him about him and mom. And if he knew she got him pregnant after the affair.

"You have a lot of questions in mind, right? Don't worry you could ask him everything. We already sent a reply from his letter. Kyle said he'll be here in two days." Jayden said.

I felt my heart pounding loudly and Jayden knew I tensed. He grabbed the back of my head and pressed his lips to mine, kissing me passionately. I calmed down, my heart was still pounding but it's because of Jayden. I was blushing and heat rose to my cheeks.

He was already my husband, kissing, touching and making love were natural things to do with him but I still blush and feel flushed every time he does something sensual.

"Can you stay here? Grandpa asked me to check the palace's finances. I want you here." He said, kissing me on the lips.

"Okay. Would you like some snacks?" I asked.

He was naughtily smiling and I already knew what he was thinking so I giggled.

"You have to finish what grandpa asked you or he would scold us both if you didn't." I said.

I prepared him a simple snack and stayed in his study, reading some books. I was suddenly exhausted and slept on the couch.

When I opened my eyes, Jayden was beside me sleeping, hugging me tight. The couch was big enough for the two of us so we could move easily. I smiled when I saw him peacefully asleep. I know he was tired as well and hadn't had enough sleep ever since he arrived at the palace.

I scooched over to him and I smiled when I felt him tightly wrapped his arms around me. 

"Love?" He called. He was already awake but his eyes were still close.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Can you tell stories about you and Caden? Those times that I'm not around? I want to know what happened to you after you left." He suddenly asked.

I looked at him and saw that his eyes were still shut. 

"Love, are you sure you want to hear it?" I asked, curiously.

"Yes. I missed three years of your life and Caden's. I wanted to know everything about you. I saw you sleeping peacefully here and I suddenly realized I have missed those days that you fell asleep due to exhaustion from taking care of Caden. I was supposed to be there, hugging you like this at least or helping you with the house chores while you take care of him. I wanted to know so once we have another baby, I know how to handle her." He said, but this time he was already looking at me.

"Her? Are you sure our next baby would be a girl?" I asked, giggling.

"I want a girl like you but whatever the gender is, I would be so happy. We'll just have to make lots of babies until we have a girl." He said, laughing.

I laughed with him, hugged him tight and asked. 

"How about you? Will you tell me everything? I know it might hurt me but still I wanted to know. I've been meaning to ask you about your depression and when you tried to kill yourself. I want to know, love."

I was actually waiting for the day that we would talk about it. Talking, asking and understanding about your partner's feelings would definitely build trust and help strengthen our marriage. Our past is already behind us but knowing all of them would make us a better person of the future.

"Alright. Let's talk about it without any hatred. I feel like we also need to do this. Let's talk more about us from now on, okay?" He said, smiling at me.

I nodded in agreement, brushing my hand to his hair.

"You go first. Let's stay like this while you tell me your journey as a mother, I'll listen." He continued, kissing me gently on the lips.