Chapter 45: An ’Answer’

Chapter 45: An 'Answer'

I rubbed my chin in interest.

At this point, the pink figure looked extremely defeated, dying to know the answer to a question I honestly don't even remember. I think it was something about power?

Or was it about his mom?

Well, either way, I didn't really know what to tell him because I kinda forgot. But saying that I forgot would make me look like an airhead. So with that in mind, I decided to bullshit my way out of the situation.

"Of course, I could always tell you the answer."

The pink figure nodded vigorously with his hands clasped in front of him.

"Please. I can't take not knowing anymore."

I proceeded to tap my chin a few times.

"But you see, it's more complicated than that."

The pink figure looked at me strangely. If he had an eyebrow, it would probably be raised.

"Huh? You're not trying to spin this into an insult, are you?"

I waved my hand dismissively.

"No, no. Why would you even think that? It's not like I'm that kind of person."

The pink figure visibly flinched despite being a mass of pink mist. He definitely seemed like he wanted to say something, but didn't harp on it.

"...Sure."

I put my fist in front of my mouth and coughed, preparing myself to speak.

"Unfortunately, just knowing that answer is not so simple as... knowing the answer."

The pink figure looked at me like I was an idiot, but I continued nonetheless.

"The most simplest way I could explain this is the phrase many people have heard in their lives, 'Never Give Up', something you may have been told, or perhaps seen on some sort of poster."

A small smile formed on my face.

"But of course, it will never be such a simple thing. You can tell people that, and you can be told it. Yet, at the end of the day, it hardly changes anything. Maybe for one day, the person will feel impassioned to work harder, but that passion dies out incredibly quickly."

I shrugged my shoulders.

"It may seem like the saying itself is wrong, because there is a mentality that someone somewhere was trying to express, but it is far too complicated to be summed up in a mere few words."

A shallow breath came out from my lips.

"In the end, the true essence of 'Never Give Up' was never about success, but about failure. For practically everything in our lives, we will experience failure in some capacity. Even if you are somehow the best on your first try, it still doesn't change the fact you could have been better. Some may argue differently, but that is still a failure in my eyes."

I held out both my hands on either side like I was helpless.

"More specifically, the time is talking about how failure shapes a person. It's hard to understand how hard it truly is to continue trying after failing one time, especially when the mind is wired in a way that stops you from trying again because it is afraid of failure."

My eyelashes fluttered.

"Sometimes just experiencing failure once is more than enough for a person to give up. Other times it will be several. But even if you are able to persist through those failures, you must also be able to resist in the face of criticism. People with the best of intentions will see those failures and tell you to stop."

My head tilted to the side slightly.

"The general culture may agree as well, also disagreeing with such a practice implicity. And where some may draw the line there, saying that you should keep on trying to prove all of them wrong, I don't believe that still captures the truth."

I paused for a moment.

"Because sometimes, they are right. In fact, most of the time they are right."

A bitter smile formed on my face.

"And possibly the worst part is that you yourself may know that they're right, and have always known. At this point, there's practically no reason to continue on. Yet, you will see a few that continue on anyway. People that stubbornly march down their path, even when they can see the terrible end waiting for them."

I took a deep breath.

"Those kinds of people are irrefutably stupid, and they themselves know it. But they still press on like their life depends on it, when ironically enough it's the opposite. And at the end, when they've put their soul into their work, almost all of them have nothing to show for it."

A chuckle escaped me.

"They end up dying, while the public laughs at them for their stupidity, and rightfully so. But at the same time, though infrequent, there are survivors. Survivors that stand while countless around them have fallen. Those are the people that have become unfathomable legends, that appears to have done the impossible itself. Because in a way, they have. They are people that should not have been able to exist."

I proceeded to wave dismissively.

"But no matter how many words I say, you won't really understand it. To truly never give up, it's to willingly be the idiot, go against your mind that desperately wants to protect you, and even against the world itself, which is strangely enough also trying to save you. All while fully knowing that the expected outcome is that it will all end up pointless. That must've been what the first person to say such words had known."

A smirk formed on my face as I crossed my arms.

"That's why I can't just tell you the answer. Because no matter how long I take to explain, you will never really get it. I can use all the words in the world, but at the end of the day, you have to come to that understanding yourself. Anything else, no matter how close it is to understanding, will never be the same."

Honestly, I felt like my logic was a little backward because you realistically couldn't explain many things fully with just words alone. But the point of explanations in the first place was for at least a vague idea or understanding, not something incredibly precise.

Yet, against my worries, it seemed like talking as though I was an egotistical philosopher threw the figure off, as it genuinely pondered over my words. It held its chin between his thumb and index finger thinking so much.

It appeared using big words and phrases, endlessly long and convoluted explanations, and an incredibly difficult message to understand had worked out. noVe(lb.1n

I guess English class back on Earth wasn't useless after all.

Well, useless on Earth certainly, but if you transmigrate and so happen to find yourself in my situation, then not so useless.

The figure ended up falling to his knees and holding onto both sides of his head with his hands.

"I see now. You are right, unbelievably right."

I was? Well, I wasn't going to correct him.

The figure let his hands drop to the ground powerlessly.

"This is why they always say you can't be taught enlightenment. I understand it now."

From there, the figure looked up to the sky, or at least whatever was up in this weird white space.

"Why... did it take me so long to find that out? By someone that hasn't even lived a fraction of my lifespan too."

Hm? But that's like, not how fractions work. Even if you are like, a million years old there's still a fraction. The only exception is if you are literally infinity years old, but that idea itself is a contradiction.

Well, I guess it wasn't hard to tell that this pink figure was an idiot already if he was fooled by that.

The figure began muttering to himself.

"If only..."

Then he just cut himself off. From there he looked at me before getting down on his knees.

"Can you please bring me around with you?"

My eyelid twitched. Why would I want to do that?

"That's a bother, no."

The figure continued to press me.

"Please! I feel the only way I'll ever be able to get the answers is if I follow along with you!"

Without skipping a beat, I responded.

"No."

However, the pink figure was far more stubborn than expected.

"Please! Please, I know you've already taught me so much and I'm grateful for that, but there is still so much of the world that I want to see!"

...If he does actually come along with me though, he'll just realize I'm a scammer.

Seeing my silence, he only continued to beg further. Eventually, I let out a long drawn-out sigh.

"You aren't going to stop until I agree, huh?"

The pink figure froze up.

"...Well, not necessarily."

I felt like I could already read his thoughts. He planned on asking me until I eventually died.

"Fine. But you can't be with me all the time."

The pink figure nodded gratefully.

"Understood! So long as it is for most of the day I can accept that."

The dream promptly ended, making me wake up to see Jess looking at me with a smile. She looked slightly surprised to see me awake and brushed my hair with one hand while the other was wrapped around me..

"Go back to sleep, ok?"

I blinked a few times and decided to use the tiredness I felt to go back to sleep before I thought about it too much and began tensing up again.

...

When I did eventually wake up, I felt a bit groggy. I tried to get up, but Jess immediately dragged me back down right after.

"Stay a little bit longer... it's not like you have to do anything today."

She was right, as there was no school nor was there a ball. However, considering I couldn't really be slacking off with the ruin of the kingdom in the near future, days like these should be treasured.

With that in mind, I let out a sigh and pried Jess's arm off of me.

"There is still business that needs to be attended to."

Jess grumbled but didn't stop me from getting up, after which she did the same. With a sigh, I straightened my clothes out and decided to go get the book, since it had spent the previous night crying to me like a little baby.

After that, I began pondering over my options with the knowledge I had from the game. There was a part of me that wanted to call on Nathan to go on a little sneaky adventure to steal some core items, but he probably had his hands full dealing with the nobles that wanted the special meat and all that.

He had already agreed with Edward on how they wanted to do business. Basically, they would only accept it if a commoner willingly gave over one of their animals, after which they would charge for the draining.

From there, the farmer would sell it then and there to a noble, all at the same place.

They did it this way because they didn't want any nobles pulling any strings behind the scenes. Of course, that was still going to happen, but if most of the process was in front of them, it would at least limit their options.

This way, the farmers would earn a bit more money, Nathan himself would get some money, since Edward declined taking a share, and the nobles would get good food for a relatively good price. Not to mention, Edward would get more powerful.

Hopefully, we could earn a decent amount from the little shop that Nathan was doing, which would let us move around easier later.

Thinking about it further, it was kinda embarrassing that Nathan had secured a source of income first despite the fact he was a commoner and I was a noble.

Well, at least I can say I was a participant in helping.

As I went about in the manor, I began skimming over details in the game. While walking down to the dining room, I suddenly stopped in place.

Ah, right. There was a black market in this game too.