CH 16

D4.

“I’ll be honest with you. I was actually ignoring your feelings.”

It was a quiet voice. At first glance, it’s a calm and somewhat absent-minded voice that makes you feel like there’s no emotion in it.

Ei, who was looking at Dante, turned her head. Her gaze shifted to the distant horizon, and as she turned fully, her face disappeared from his sight. Not only did Ei turn her back on Dante, she even took a few steps forward.

All he could see now was her brown hair, swaying in the red light.

It wasn’t until he couldn’t reach her arm that she stopped.

“Even if you say you love me now, it won’t last long. If it’s that light of a feeling, I thought it would be right to refuse for your sake.”

“…”

“But I think I got it wrong.”

There was laughter. It sounded more like someone who had given up on everything rather than someone who was happy to know the other person’s true feelings.

Even so, her voice was calm as usual.

“You will regret it.”

She concluded his future in one remark.

“That feeling may be joy and happiness to you now, but later it will feel like the biggest mistake you ever made. I promise you.”

“Ei.”

“You will regret showing me so much affection, pretending like you would give me everything. Obviously, yes. By the time you leave me…”

Looking at it, Dante thought. You’ve always been like this.

It was one of those things he noticed while observing her every move, keeping his eyes on her. Maybe if he wasn’t lucky, he wouldn’t have noticed either.

She always treated Dante as if he were going to disappear at any moment, yet she was the one who seemed to be disappearing in his eyes.

Even at this moment. Clearly, she was still standing there, as if she was about to disappear in the glow of the setting sun. It seemed like she would leave somewhere he didn’t know, and would never come back.

Somehow feeling a little nervous, Dante involuntarily squeezed and opened his hand.

“By the time I’m left alone, you and I will both regret it.”

It wasn’t hard for Dante to realize that Ei wasn’t thinking of good things. Her voice was always calm, so he couldn’t tell her emotion.

Yeah, you’re going to regret it, rather. Hearing such a whisper, Dante called her again.

“Ei.”

“…Yeah.”

“What are you so anxious about?”

No answer came. When the two of them were silent, the sea became quiet again. After a long moment of hesitation and silence, the question came back.

“Why do you think I’m anxious?”

“If you’re not, there’s no way you’ll keep worrying about the future.”

“…You’ve gotten to know me too well without me realizing it.”

A small laugh was heard again. It was a dry laugh filled with sadness.

“Yeah, that’s right. I’m anxious.”

She lowered her head, and the words, slightly suppressed, came out.

“I’m afraid you’ll be important to me in any way.”

Her voice, which had always been calm, seemed to shake a little. Dante still couldn’t see her expression, but it was fine. Now that he noticed her anxiety, he didn’t think that she would suddenly disappear.

Ei didn’t want to have anyone by her side. It didn’t simply mean being by her side, but it was more like establishing them as someone important to her.

At first, he thought her cold attitude was due to her simple distrust of others, but after hearing her story, he changed his mind. Beyond that, she was afraid of having someone important to her.

Was it out of fear that she tried to push him away with cold words?

Where did her fear come from?

But aside from all those questions, Dante was heartbroken that Ei was afraid. To learn of his loved one’s weak spots was more sad than he thought it would.

If he could, he wanted to feel her insecurities instead. Sincerely.

However, instead of expressing his own feelings, Dante said something else.

“I don’t know the reason you’re scared, but there’s something I want to tell you first.”

“…What is it?”

“I will never leave you.”

She hesitated, yet he went on.

“I will always be by your side, if you want me to.”

“…What if you change your mind?”

“That’s not going to happen. You saw it too.”

My magic. When he answered that, she shut her mouth again. She seemed to understand the meaning of his magic.

It was the first time that she fully acknowledged his feelings. Dante smiled as he recalled the magic he had manifested.

It was worth it to say that he would bring her the world if she wanted it.

As Dante took a step forward and stood next to Ei, she turned her head. “Show me your face, alright?” She just shook her head despite the kind words.

“And you’re not afraid that I’ll change my feelings now.”

Yes, her attitude was different from those who were concerned about the change of feelings. She seemed to be standing alone in a distant loneliness that no one could understand.

Looking at her, for some reason Dante remembered his old teacher.

As well as her advice that one would be forever tormented just by being left alone.

Ei mustn’t have been an immortal like his teacher, but she must have felt what it felt like to be left alone.

“Is it not enough to say that I will never leave you?”

Dante suddenly noticed that he was behaving like a man who was begging. It was something he had never done in his whole life, yet he was fine with the thought that the more desperate he looked, the more she would be shaken.

And, as he expected, Ei kept hesitating until she managed to open her mouth.

“I know your will and feelings well.”

“Yes.”

“…But you can’t always rule out what ifs.”

Things in the world don’t go the way you want them to. That’s what she was saying.

“What if you have no choice but to leave me?”

“If I can’t help it, how?”

“…Alright. I’ll be honest.”

She finally let out a sigh.

“I’m afraid of you dying.”

“…”

“Most of the people who left me didn’t do so because they had a change of feelings. Those people were so kind, they stayed by my side until the end. But that was just the end of them.”

At that moment when both the sea and the sky were turning red, all the thoughts that had been barely hidden were finally brought out. At that moment, he couldn’t tell if her eyes were red or if the sunset was dyeing them.

“I ended up being left like this.”

He saw her turning her head and looking at him with her face contorted as if she were crying a little. She had an expression he had never seen before since he came to live with her.

That made her even more lovable.

Dante couldn’t help but to tell a secret that he never thought he would tell today because all he felt was her loveliness. He just laughed quietly.

“Ei.”

“…Yes.”

“I don’t die.”

“…”

Silence passed.

“I am, yeah. I’ve transcended human limits and gained eternal life. I don’t know if I really live forever or if I just live a very, very long time, but to others I’ve lived long enough to be described as an eternal life.”

“…”

“That’s why I’m not leaving you for that reason.”

She looked blank. It was only when Dante saw that blank expression that he was able to smile comfortably.

He was overjoyed that his own immortality reassured her.

“Once again, I will be by your side.”

“…”

“Until you don’t feel anxious, until you believe that only I will never leave you.”

He still didn’t get an answer back, yet he didn’t feel nervous anymore. He intuitively knew that everything was fine.

“Ei. You can be proud.”

He smiled happily as he looked at her face. Just before night came, the sunset over the horizon twinkled with its final light. In response, Dante reached out and wrapped his hands around her cheeks, which were tinged with red light.

“You have earned eternal love. Even from the greatest magician in the world.”

The silence that seemed to last forever was broken, and a small laugh was heard. It was a laugh that was very different from before, and finally made him feel at ease.

Well done, really. It felt good to hear the sound of the harsh voice.