CH 62

While I hesitated without being able to speak right away, Dante suddenly embraced me.

“Dante?”

“Mm.”

Dante held me tighter in my arms as I blinked in bewilderment at his reply, burying his head in. No, wait a minute.

“I told you I have something to tell you.”

“Yeah, do it.”

“You want me to do it this way?”

I want to talk to you, face to face. Saying that, I struggled to get out of his arms, yet Dante only hugged me tighter, as if trying to block even that movement. What’s wrong with him?

In the meantime, Dante’s arms were warm. To the extent that I almost hugged him back without realizing it.

But I couldn’t put this topic off any longer, so I forcibly lowered my arm and tapped Dante’s back.

“It’s not something we can talk about while holding each other like this.”

“You said you’d hug me anytime now.”

“When did I… Ah, right.”

I did, in front of Lily. It seemed that my words were slightly different, but the context itself was the same.

Dante buried his head deeper, as if wondering how I could ever forget that. I didn’t know it was so itchy to have someone hugging and leaning on me.

But instead of saying it tickled me, I patted Dante on the back one more time.

“Can’t I say something first and then we hug?”

“No.”

“You became more stubborn in the meantime I couldn’t see you.”

It was a remark thrown without much thought, yet what came back was a watery voice.

“…I hadn’t been able to hug you even once while I couldn’t see you, so give me a break.”

“…”

At the words that sounded like pleading, all my movement stopped even though I didn’t intend to. All I can do is stop trying to escape and stay still in Dante’s embrace.

There wasn’t much I could do with me being so tightly held anyway.

Your arms holding me seemed to tremble a little. also your low-pitched voice.

“You don’t know what I’m thinking right now, do you?”

The words that seemed to hide the suppression rang close to my ears. It felt like the arms that were suffocating me were somehow clinging to me.

“Even though I’m holding you like this, it feels like I’m in a dream. Even in my dream last night, you held my hand and disappeared. We talked as if nothing had happened like now, and then…”

Without anything left behind. Sentences added with crushed pronunciation faded without ending.

“Am I still dreaming of you?”

For a while, I could hear muttering that was close to talking to himself.

Dante shut his mouth, and I thought I heard the slightest sob as I blinked silently in the silence that quickly descended.

“Dante.”

“…Mm.”

“Are you crying?”

There was no answer.

However, only the answer wasn’t there. The sobs got a little louder, Dante’s back started to tremble a little, and the arms that were still holding me untied. Seriously, I can’t even look at his face in this position.

I had no choice but to hug you face to face.

“Hey. Did I hug you in your dreams too?”

“…No.”

“Why, I wonder. It was my fault. I should have given you a hug instead of just holding your hand, right?”

After holding each other, I patted him on the back, and his back trembled even more with my touch.

Ah, he must be crying a lot. It was just a pity that I couldn’t wipe away his tears.

“No, you tried to hug me… And each time, I wake up from the dream.”

“Really?”

“I hoped so much that I wouldn’t wake up from my dream. Hundreds of times, thousands of times.”

“No. That one can’t do.”

The only way not to wake up from a dream is to fall asleep forever. As someone who knows that you almost fell asleep forever, the remark that you didn’t want to wake up from a dream couldn’t be taken pure.

But instead of spitting out scolds, I stroked Dante’s head.

“If you hadn’t woken up from that dream, you wouldn’t have seen me now.”

“…”

Sensing Dante’s silence, I added a word mixed with laughter.

“Can you be satisfied with the me in your dreams?”

You can’t, right? As for the answer to that question, surely the ensuing sobs would have been enough.

A long time before it got quiet again. I stared at the sunset over Dante’s shoulder for a long time, then carefully released my arms holding me.

Unlike before, when he didn’t want to let go, I was easily released, but I was still in Dante’s arms. I looked up at the tear-stained face and stretched out my hand.

Even though I can’t say that the time I couldn’t meet you is short even with empty words, nothing has changed in the way you treat me.

I whispered as I stroked Dante’s cheek.

“Do you have anything to ask me?”

“…What?”

What do you mean what? I’m talking about the questions one would ask a dead person if they suddenly came back to life.

“How did I come back alive, why didn’t I come to see you for such a long time. Are you not  curious?”

“Mm.”

There was no hesitation in that answer, so I became the one who hesitated.

“Why?”

Dante quietly held my hand. Somehow, I think I know the answer, but if it’s really the answer I think, I think I’ll be a little sad.

However, I’ve rarely been wrong about Dante. Because without even realizing it, I fell in love with Dante more than I thought.

“Because if you come back, it’s enough.”

Ah, look at this. In the end, you still make me sad.

It seems that I unconsciously distorted my face. As my expression changed, the eyes that were staring at me shimmered painfully, and Dante’s cheek leaned against my hand as if to tell me not to make that kind of expression.

It must have been an action to comfort me, but why did he look like he was more comforted?

Leaning on my hand, Dante closed his eyes for a moment. As if he was relaxed.

“…What should I do, Ei.”

Contrary to his calm expression, his voice sank low and cracked a little.

Soon, dark purple eyes could be seen between his eyelids.

“I have no confidence in losing you again.”

Dante, who said so, looked precarious as if he had been driven to the edge of a cliff. An expression that was thinking of breaking up even though we met again. Dante, who knew nothing, couldn’t help it.

You must think that the day will come when you will inevitably have to let me go. I was lucky enough to meet you again this time, but we won’t have this kind of luck twice.

I hope you don’t feel anxious anymore.

“Dante, look into my eyes.”

Dante, as always, listened to me obediently. I avoided eye contact as if it was overwhelming, yet it was really short-lived.

I opened my mouth only after Dante, who let go of my hand and stood up straight, was completely in my eyes.

“How do you think I came back alive?”

“…I told you, it doesn’t matter how.”

“No, it will matter from now on. You should know too.”

As if you were wondering what I meant, the sunset seeping into your widening eyes was definitely beautiful.

“Even if I lose my life again, I will come back alive just like I did today.”

Dante looked at me with a blank face, as if he didn’t quite understand the meaning of the words. From the time I was apart with Dante to the time I met him again, it was the look I missed so much.

That’s why it was even more lovely.

I couldn’t help but tell the loveliness I felt, a fact I was once afraid to say. I’m sure you’ll be surprised if I say it suddenly like this. But before I say this, I don’t know what else to bring up.

As expected, talking in a roundabout way didn’t suit me well.

“Dante.”

“…Mm.”

“I don’t die.”

“…”

Silence passed.

“I told you I had shifted the dimension. I, yeah. I haven’t aged a single second since I moved through dimensions. Can you believe me if I say that it’s been over 200 years since I came here, Dante?”

I held Dante’s cold hand.

“And even if I die for whatever reason, I come back to life somewhere with all the scars gone. Just like that time, when a bomb exploded and completely shattered my body, I came back to life. It’s just that the recovery time differs depending on the wounds.”

In the end, I survived like that this time too, and I was able to come here because I survived. While adding, Dante’s hand, which had been cold, became the same temperature as mine.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner. I didn’t know it would turn out like this, I just thought I could tell you later.”

“…Later.”

“Mm.”

I didn’t have any grounds to put forward, but I could be sure intuitively. That Dante must be remembering the last time he saw me, 10 years ago.

The day I said I would tell you a secret when you came back.

The face, as if looking back on memories, was still blank. After looking at that face again, I was finally able to smile.

“I don’t know if I really live forever or if I just live a very, very long time.”

Reminds me of what you said to me one day.

“I’ve lived long enough to be described as an eternal life to others.”

“…”

“That’s why I’m not leaving you.”

Do you understand what I’m saying? Even when I asked, there was no answer.

After a long time like that, just before night came. When the sunset over the horizon sparkled with its last light, and the red light passed between us.

Dante, who had been silent while looking at me, slowly opened his mouth.