CH 76

It was as it was said. Dante was arrogant and foolish, so he didn’t fully reap his master’s arrangements as he gained immortality without realizing that teaching. None of those words he had kept.

Indeed, he regretted his immortality and was thinking of ending his life.

Even if I die because I miss you so much and it’s no use, I might really be able to see you. Even if I die like this, I will only die along with the person I love. As he thought that one day, it must be the most foolish end…

Yet, ironically, as time passed, the word ‘death’ felt sweeter.

The first thought that came to his mind was, ‘If I try to die, Ei will be angry.’

Whether she was in heaven or hell, or lying in the rubble of a town which Dante, who mourned yet didn’t acknowledge her death, had abandoned.  Ei would be furious at the mere mention of him dying.

Because anyone can see that it’s stupid. Because he was seriously contemplating the nonsense of dying along with someone he loved.

Besides, the reason she accepted her own feelings was the fact that Dante didn’t die. It was only when she heard that he lived a life close to immortality that Ei finally smiled in relief.

But didn’t the person who smiled like that remain only in his memory?

If so, wouldn’t it be a sin if he chose to die just to hear that anger? Even if he was guilty, there was no one in this world who could blow even a light bruise on him.

You often got angry while pretending not to. Dante laughed as he drew a magic circle that was reminiscent of hell as it was terribly black.

So I hope you get angry enough for me to forget that you’re dead.

If even a sliver of that anger reaches my ears, I will be truly happy for the last time…

The transcendent, who had turned firmly after 10 years, thought so.

***

As aforementioned, in fact, Dante was quite rational even though a corner of his brain was in a strange state.

The act of disposing of all Illinan around the Magic Tower as soon as the magic circle was completed was proof of that. What he had left in order to see Ei’s figure as an illusion, he blew away all of them without saving a single one. He thought that now he didn’t have to dwell on fakes.

And in the process of burning Illinan, he broke the pair of bracelets he had given to Ei, as well as the bracelet that didn’t help at all when Ei was in danger.

Even when he watched the purple magic stone shatter and scatter with ashes, his mind was clear. Again, because he was in a rational state even though he was quite crazy.

The reason he continued to say that he was rational was because after that, something happened that shook his rationality completely.

So, to put it simply, this kind of thing.

“I’m a monster, you said?”

It’s like having a face you’ve never forgotten in 10 years talking to you.

“I don’t know what you’re mistaken about, Dante.”

He had never seen such an angry face of her, so it felt more real.

“I’m not a monster.”

Even so, because of the pessimism that had become a habit and the fear that rose up without knowing it, it was something that he thought was impossible.

That’s a monster, an illusion, and you’re dead, so even though I decided to die believing only the thought that I might be able to meet you.

Even so, the warmth he felt when she tried to choke him was real, and he thought that the body temperature was similar to what he had felt before…

“Dante.”

He couldn’t bear to put strength in his hand.

No, he didn’t know if he really wanted to strangle her. It’s just, he didn’t seem to simply end up wanting to die, even if someone who looked this similar wasn’t real, so he guessed that’s why.

He couldn’t shake it off before his eyes, and a calm voice continued when he was trembling without putting strength in his hand.

With a hand tapping his hand as if mocking.

It felt like the light tapping was calling him, yet he couldn’t bear to look up and see her face.

“If you really meant to strangle me, you have to give your hand strength.”

But is it not possible to do that?

Even those quiet, calm words bore the same resemblance to the one he hadn’t forgotten all his life. Yet even with that face right in front of him, and even hearing that voice with his own ears, Dante’s confusion only grew.

He attacked the monster because he found it, but in fact he already knew it. Illinan has no voice. In the 10 years that passed in the blink of an eye, he had only seen Ei’s ‘image’ in the illusions shown by the monsters.

If they were able to, they would have done anything to dazzle him. If they could imitate her voice, they could’ve done it long ago.

So, the one who raised her voice and called his name wasn’t a monster.

However.

“…Why.”

“…”

“Why, it looks real. It can’t be.”

It couldn’t… be. You couldn’t have survived. There was no way Ei, who had died because he was away from the village at that time, would come back. He knew that the best.

Because he had repeated it hundreds and thousands of times over the course of 10 years.

Does it make sense for the dead to come back to life?

He once thought like that. Nevertheless. Even if he thought so. Why is it so real? It can’t be. It can’t be.

No one noticed, but Dante felt that he would rather laugh than cry.

Ah, so I can’t die now.

Because someone who really feels like you is here, I can’t even die now because I’m afraid I won’t see you even if I die.

Whether ‘this’ is fake or real, in the future he won’t even be able to try to die. Even if the one that appeared now is fake, he will think that the real one might come to him in the future, and even though he thinks that’s impossible, Dante will wait for a very long time to meet Ei…

He thought so, with an expression of despair and yearning mixed, and helpless tears flowing. At that moment when he wanted to die, in fact, he didn’t want to.

A thought passed through his mind then.

Last time, yes, he thought about that. He had such a stupid, crazy idea that if he tried to die, Ei would come to him and be angry with him.

So, if the person in front of him is real.

Dante looked at the eyes that were staring at him, eyes that had become transparent with the setting sun. Even the color was so much like what he longed for, that it made him a little sad at last.

Casting the magic to move to the Magic Tower, he lowered his head and muttered softly to the one in front of him.

“Come see me before I die.”

He didn’t see what kind of expression she was making at the time.

Even though he was the one who ran away and left her, Dante continued to cry like a child left alone.

Even after he arrived at the Magic Tower, for a long time, he continued to do so.

***

It’s a new story, but in fact, Dante wasn’t as sane as he firmly stated.

The act of disposing of all Illinan around the Magic Tower as soon as the magic circle was completed was proof of that. What he had left in order to see Ei’s figure as an illusion, he blew away all of them without saving a single one. He couldn’t even look at them because it was such a pity.

And in the process of burning Illinan, he broke the pair of bracelets he had given to Ei, as well as the bracelet that didn’t help at all when Ei was in danger.

Even when he watched the purple magic stone shatter and scatter with ashes, his mind was clear. Again, because he was in a rational state even though he was quite crazy.

It was from that day that he started to do something similar with his insane brain.

‘What if that person at that time was really Ei?’

Yes, since the day he started thinking like this.

Thinking that it must be fake, he tidied up his beggar-like appearance, thinking that it couldn’t be, but he thought about it as he drove the wreckage of the hallway to the edge, albeit roughly. It can’t be, but there’s no way Ei will come back alive, but what if that was the real Ei?

…Did he himself attack the carriage in which Ei rode? And then try to strangle her?

“…”

“What, I’m suddenly anxious… Why is it?”

Lisa, who shared feelings with him to some extent, reacted immediately and jumped up, yet Dante, the person in charge, froze on the spot and couldn’t do anything.

Well, he didn’t have any expectations or hopes that she might be real right now, but he should consider what if. If the person he was trying to kill is really Ei…

“…”

“What do I do? I feel like I should apologize to someone. What have I done wrong? None, though. Why is it?”

Lisa fidgeted and spun around in place, eventually running to apologize to the manㅡnow a corpseㅡshe had attacked. Dante creaked a few times at the sight, and then, barely finding a place to sit, sat down.

He didn’t feel like he had to run somewhere and apologize like Lisa but, well. He honestly felt a little like he had to too, but then all of a sudden… He kept thinking that the best way to apologize would be to die.

…It must have been a pretty evasive idea.

***

Even though his years of missing her have been 10 years, surprisingly, his confusion and denial didn’t last long. No, in fact, it would be more accurate to say that there was no time for that.

First of all, the tenacity to remember even a single strand of Ei’s hair for 10 years couldn’t go anywhere.

And secondly,

“You son of a bitch.”

For it was quicker for her to grab him by the collar while swearing at him than for him to think of anything else.

Ei, who easily found him hiding in the depths of the Magic Tower, had an angry face like the day they met before. Just like the look he hoped for someday.

He will never forget the moment Ei met his eyes again. Literally forever.

…Really, those were familiar brown eyes.