Finally coming to terms with her thoughts, she pulled her face away from her brother's shoulder, looked him straight in the eyes, despite some tears still running down her cheeks, and spoke directly, her voice firm yet filled with emotion, as she held his gaze.
"I want to continue taking care of you."
While she thought that perhaps someday she could let go of her sense of responsibility, she couldn't bring herself to concede on this.
'How would you even take care of me in the first place, anyway?'
While this was what Christian was thinking in his mind upon hearing his sister's somewhat similar to declaration about taking care of him, as he had no idea what was going on in her mind.
Since she was young, she'd been forced into the role of caretaker, and he wondered if that was all she knew how to do.
But even though he didn't need much in terms of care, if she had something in mind, he wouldn't mind letting her do what she wanted. As long as it was something she truly desired and made her happy, he was all for it.
Maybe looking after him had become something more than it actually was for his sister, and Christian understood that it hadn't been an easy decision for her to stay by his side and support him. The choice she made back then at the tender age of eighteen was undoubtedly a difficult one.
Seeing how lost she felt and how much she had made it her purpose to care for him, Christian couldn't help but feel a mix of concern and appreciation. It struck him how much she had sacrificed for him.
So in the end, he stayed silent for a moment before finally sighing and saying,
She felt as if all the exhaustion that had accumulated over the years, both physically and psychologically, was finally being drawn out.
Feeling the comfort of her brother's lap and arms, which were still supporting her, she couldn't resist the sudden wave of tiredness and sleepiness that washed over her.
And finally, she succumbed and lost consciousness.
With the room now silent and as he gently patted her bare back, Christian finally felt his sister's breathing become more stable.
But looking down at her, Christian noticed her closed eyes, still marked by remnants of her tears, and her steady breathing, she was clearly asleep. And he found himself at a loss for words again, while he also thought she seemed too defenseless and he should warn her later, he realized that for now, she was peacefully asleep, and there was nothing he could do.
Christian hesitated for a moment, unsure whether to wake her up. The topic of his school had yet to be mentioned, and he still hadn't shared his future plans with her. On the other hand, he wondered if it might be better to simply let her continue sleeping.
Then, remembering how emotional she had been today, more so than the last time when he brought her the bag, he decided against waking her. The most difficult step was over, and he believed the other subjects would be much easier to address later.
Standing up while holding his sister and feeling how easily he could carry her, Christian was reminded that his strength had really increased. However, feeling her bare skin beneath his hands, gripping her thigh and sensing the softness against his chest, he was struck by the inappropriateness of the situation.
He took a couple of steps to the side and turned her body so her back faced the bed. After a bit of struggling to untangle her arms and legs, he finally managed to free himself.
Gently placing his sister on the bed, Christian wiped the tears from her face, brushed a strand of hair aside, and tucked the blanket around her.
Then finally breathing a sigh of relief, he quietly left the room.