Chapter 5: Don’t Mess With Me

Chapter 5Ming Mei blinked her big watery eyes as she looked at Zhuang Zhixi.

Zhuang Zhixi pinched her little cheeks playfully and teased, "You're bragging, aren't you, my little wife?"

Ming Mei's eyelashes fluttered, and in one swift motion, she had Zhuang Zhixi pinned against the table. It happened as fast as a gust of wind, without any hesitation. Zhuang Zhixi found himself pressed against the table and exclaimed, "Holy crap!"

Ming Mei immediately released him and asked with concern, "Are you okay?"

Zhuang Zhixi stared at his wife in shock. Ming Mei raised her hands innocently and said, "I just wanted to prove I wasn't bragging."

Zhuang Zhixi: "............"

Silence, deep silence.

Ming Mei pursed her lips and asked softly, "Are you scared?"

She actually hadn't realized that Zhuang Zhixi didn't know. She raised her hands and said, "I didn't mean to hide it."

Finally, Zhuang Zhixi reacted. He exclaimed "Holy crap!" again and said, "I hit the jackpot!"

Ming Mei: "???"

Big eyes filled with many question marks.

Zhuang Zhixi showed a smug smile and said, "My wife is so awesome! I really lucked out. From now on, whenever someone gives me trouble, you can stand up for me. Let's get them!"

Ming Mei: "..."

How could he say such a thing? Sёarᴄh the ηovёlFire .net website on Google to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

Zhuang Zhixi was quite excited: "Honey, that move you just did was so fast! Do you think I could learn it?"

Ming Mei looked at him and shook her head decisively, saying, "You're too old for that now. It definitely won't work."

Zhuang Zhixi's excitement deflated instantly, and he hung his head with a sigh. But he quickly became curious again and asked, "So you started learning when you were young?"

Zhuang Zhixi's attitude was infectious, and Ming Mei proudly lifted her chin, saying, "I've been training for seventeen years!"

Zhuang Zhixi exclaimed, "That's so long!"

But he quickly did the math: "Wait a minute, aren't you only twenty? If you've trained for seventeen years, that means you started when you were three?"

Really?

He cast suspicious glances at his wife, who he thought might be exaggerating.

Ming Mei insisted defiantly, "Of course! I really did start when I was three." She began explaining her martial arts background: "Actually, I didn't start learning kung fu for its own sake. When I was little, I was a night crier. Even at three years old, I would still wake up crying frequently. My parents were really worried about me. As it happened, we had a distant uncle who was a former Taoist priest... and no, we weren't into any feudal superstitions. This distant uncle suggested that instead of trying all sorts of strange remedies, practicing martial arts might help. He said martial arts would help with concentration and inner peace. So he would come to teach me after work every day. See? That's how I've been training for seventeen years."

Zhuang Zhixi remarked, "I've never heard of using martial arts to cure night crying."

Ming Mei scratched her head and said, "Well, it wasn't really a cure. Maybe it was just that practicing martial arts tired me out so much that I would fall right asleep and not have nightmares. No nightmares meant no night crying."

It worked out in its own way.

Actually, when she got older, she understood that her childhood "nightmares" weren't just nightmares: she was probably experiencing other people's lives in her dreams. But she had been too young to understand at the time, so she would just cry in fear.

When she got older, naturally she wasn't afraid anymore.

Ming Mei said, "Well, now you know everything."

Zhuang Zhixi: "I really had no idea..."

Ming Mei quickly explained, "I wasn't deliberately keeping it from you. I thought you knew. I've been training since I was little, and your brother and my brother were classmates all through elementary, middle, and high school, and they're still colleagues now. I thought you knew everything about me."

She knew everything about him, after all.

Except for how many mouse holes were in the Zhuang family home, she knew most things about their family.

Ming Mei looked very innocent as she scratched her head again. Seeing her adorable demeanor, Zhuang Zhixi couldn't help but laugh and said, "I really didn't know, but not knowing turned out pretty well: isn't it a nice surprise? I'm so happy that my wife is this amazing."

Ming Mei's lips curled into a smile.

Zhuang Zhixi asked curiously, "Oh right, what kind of kung fu did you learn? Or was it just general practice?"

Ming Mei: "I learned Wing Chun."

"Oh, I know that one!" He actually had heard of this martial art. He gave her a thumbs up and praised, "My wife is truly awesome."

Ming Mei's cheeks grew rosier, and her eyebrows nearly flew up with pride as she boasted, "Of course! When I was little, I was unbeatable!"

Zhuang Zhixi laughed, but then nervously asked, "You won't discipline me, will you?"

Ming Mei looked at him and hummed, lifting her chin arrogantly: "Well, that depends on your behavior."

Zhuang Zhixi immediately started massaging her shoulders like a bootlicker, saying enthusiastically, "Honey, how's this? Is the pressure good? From now on, you're in charge of everything in our home."

Ming Mei laughed and stood on her tiptoes, saying, "I'll give you credit for being smart."

Zhuang Zhixi transformed into a complete yes-man and continued, "Does it feel good? Should I press harder?"

Ming Mei's smile widened as she pushed him away: "Alright, enough fooling around. I need to use the bathroom."

Living in a courtyard house had its inconveniences. Besides having to draw water from the yard, using the bathroom was even more troublesome since it was outside the courtyard. It wasn't so bad during the day, but it was really difficult at night, especially during winter.

Ming Mei sighed. Just as she was about to leave, Zhuang Zhixi grabbed her hand: "Want me to go with you?"

Ming Mei's mouth twitched as she said, "That's really not necessary. I'm not a three-year-old."

As she went out, perhaps because the neighborhood aunties had returned from buying groceries, there were people drawing water in the courtyard. A sharp-eyed, pancake-faced woman with a mean look heard the sound and turned around, making an exaggerated "oh" sound before speaking in a sarcastic tone: "Oh my, closing doors in broad daylight? These young couples just don't know moderation. Young wives these days really can't compare to our time. Back then, the day after marriage, we'd be up early helping our mothers-in-law with housework. Today's young wives are just useless!"

Ming Mei: "..."

Indeed, one's appearance reflects one's heart.

This person was truly unpleasant.

Speaking like a mad dog right from the start.

Her own mother-in-law hadn't even criticized her, yet this old creature had already started. Her mother-in-law was right: this person really was mean and vicious. Although there were quite a few older women in the courtyard, Ming Mei immediately guessed this must be Madam Zhou Li.

Though Ming Mei looked sweet, she wasn't some pushover. She smiled and offered four words: "Nosy as a dog."

—Minding other people's business.

After saying this, she didn't care what the old woman thought. She put her hands in her sleeves and headed toward the outside bathroom. Sure enough, Ming Mei hadn't guessed wrong: this was indeed Madam Zhou Li, the wealthiest resident of the courtyard.

Madam Zhou Li hadn't expected this young wife to talk back. She was stunned for a moment, and by the time she reacted, Ming Mei had already left. Furious, she slammed down her water bucket with a crash and began wailing: "The Zhuang family's young wife is bullying people! This worthless girl called me a dog! Our courtyard can't tolerate someone who doesn't respect her elders! Such bullying, such terrible bullying!"

Zhuang Zhixi came out and said bluntly: "Auntie Zhou, what are you saying? It's the second day after our wedding, and you're deliberately stirring up trouble? Just because you're not happy with your life doesn't mean you have to make others miserable too. I know you spend all day being jealous of other families' happiness, but isn't this too malicious? Ambushing my wife right at our doorstep to bully her: isn't that going too far? You think our family won't stand up for her? Besides, my wife just said 'nosy as a dog.' If you choose to identify yourself as the dog, how is that our fault?"

Madam Zhou Li jumped up and down: "Who are you saying isn't happy? Who? We're the wealthiest family in the courtyard, and my son is the most successful!"

Zhuang Zhixi let out a meaningful laugh and said, "Don't you know better than anyone whether you're happy or not?"

"You..."

"What do you mean 'what'! Old Zhou, are you bullying my family while I'm away? Let me tell you something - you have no right to meddle in my family's affairs! Mind your own business. If you think you can bully us, dream on!" A roar erupted as Zhao Guihua returned home. Though she didn't know what had happened, she knew Madam Zhou Li all too well.

Zhao Guihua held a fish in one hand and a chicken in the other, with a mesh bag slung over her shoulder containing about a dozen eggs - quite an eye-catching sight.

Even Madam Zhou Li, who had been ready for an argument, immediately switched gears and asked eagerly: "Is the food store stocking chicken now? Where did you get those eggs? Has the price gone up with the New Year coming? Why didn't you let us know right away when you bought them? We're neighbors and old sisters, after all!"

Zhao Guihua just responded with a contemptuous "Huh!"

Ming Mei returned from the bathroom to witness this scene, completely dumbfounded.

As soon as Madam Zhou Li saw Ming Mei, she thought of the phrase "a dog catching mice" and immediately tried to sow discord: "Oh my, Guihua, look at your young daughter-in-law's terrible temper! As an elder, I was just trying to give her some advice on how to be a proper daughter-in-law, but she wanted to curse at me! Such poor character. Our courtyard has never seen such an immoral young person who disrespects the elderly. You really need to discipline her. These young hussies can't be spoiled."

Zhao Guihua rolled her eyes: "Oh, shut your mouth! Not just in our courtyard, but on this whole street, everyone knows you're good for nothing, Old Zhou - always unsatisfied with what you get, and ranked first in being a busybody! Stop putting on an act here. An elder? Whose elder are you? Since when did you become an elder to my daughter-in-law? You're really acting like you own the place! Have some shame, will you? If I catch you bullying my family again, I'll tear that foul mouth of yours!"

Zhao Guihua knew Madam Zhou Li inside out and wouldn't tolerate her nonsense, firing back a barrage of words.

She knew all too well - give this woman an inch, and she'd take a mile, badmouthing you behind your back and becoming even more overbearing. She was the type who openly made people miserable. Zhao Guihua didn't mince words: "You can act however you want in your own home, but don't you dare try to bully my daughter-in-law."

Ming Mei blinked her big eyes and quickly stepped forward: "Mom, I'm so lucky to have a mother-in-law like you! I knew you were fair and just, unlike certain backward-thinking people. Having you as my mother-in-law is truly my blessing." She then called out to Zhuang Zhixi, who was watching the commotion: "Brother Zhixi, come help carry these things!"

She handed all of Zhao Guihua's purchases to Zhuang Zhixi, then linked arms with Zhao Guihua and began complaining in a soft voice: "Mom, you don't know how terrible it was! As soon as I went out, I ran into this auntie who criticized me for closing the door. In this cold weather, how could I not close the door? Does she think coal for heating grows on trees? Besides, Zhixi and I are legally married - are we not allowed to be in the same room? This is worse than the old society! She's such a bully, waaah!"

She practically draped herself over Zhao Guihua, whimpering: "Mom, you have to stand up for me!"

Zhao Guihua's mouth twitched as she said: "Let go and speak properly!"

Ming Mei refused to let go, smiling sweetly: "Mom, this auntie is so fierce, I only feel safe when I'm with you!" Ming Mei then smugly huffed at Madam Zhou Li, borrowing her mother-in-law's authority!

Zhuang Zhixi stumbled.

His wife's flattery was so thick it was nauseating.

Tsk!

Even though he considered himself thick-skinned, Zhuang Zhixi knew he could never speak to his mother like that. He looked at his wife admiringly, thinking she really had some skills.

It wasn't just Zhuang Zhixi who thought this way. Madam Zhou Li shuddered, feeling goosebumps all over. She still remembered the sharp "dog catching mice" comment from earlier - now Ming Mei was playing the bullied little lamb?

Just as she was about to say something, she suddenly noticed what Zhuang Zhixi was carrying and let out a yelp, rushing home: "I'm not wasting time arguing with you all, I need to go buy chicken!"

Nothing was more important than getting supplies!

Fighting was important, but it couldn't compete with buying fish and chicken!

She hurried away, and Ming Mei let out a loud "Hmph!"

"See if you dare bully me again!"

Her borrowed authority was on full display.

Zhao Guihua looked at her, her mouth twitching, speechless: "..."

After a long while.

She made a heartfelt comment: "You're really something else!"