Chapter 157 - My SI Stash #57 - In Another World with ｢Star Platinum｣ by Locksoli (NarutoXJoJosBizarreAdventure)

-Same author as Dance, Dragon Dance! This fic contains a very menacing SI with his power of stopping time. Crossover of Naruto & JJBA~ Check it out!

Sypnosis: I didn't know how, nor did I immediately care why, but after I died I was suddenly thrust into the world of Naruto. Sounds great right? Well, with the angriest punch-ghost at my side, I'd think otherwise. (AU Reincarnation fic, OC-centric)

Rated: T

Words: 84K

Posted on: fanfiction.net/s/13321668/1/In-Another-World-with-Star-Platinum (Locksoli)

PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (´ー｀)

-I'll be putting the chapter ones of all the fanfics mentioned, to give you guys a sample if you wan't more please do go to the website and support the author! (And maybe even convince them to start uploading chapters in here as well!)

Chapter 1

What is death? Is it simply the cessation of all biological functions that keep you moving? Or is there a deeper philosophical question behind the term? Who knows...for me it was having a burning sensation in my lungs as they gradually filled up with water, all while I fought with every last bit of my energy to get to the surface for air.

Yeah, probably shouldn't have come into the dango shop that day, huh?

Not that not going to work would have changed anything, it might have given me some actual time to get away from(or at least see) the massive wall of water crushing down on the coast. Maybe I would have had a story to tell. Though to be honest, any story about surviving a tsunami would be utterly trounced by what I'll be treating you to from this point on.

You see, when I died I figured I'd go to where I'd go. Maybe I'd get proven wrong about the shinto gods, Allah, hell I would have been geeking out if the arbiters of life and death turned out to be the Asgardians from Marvel. No really, that would have been sweet.

But no, I had to have the misfortune of being born half-japanese in Japan, something that isn't a bad thing in and of itself...except I'd just happen to add on the even greater misfortune of growing up to become a below average person with little to no unique traits. Alongside this, I had only a few hobbies and the one or the two interests I had would commonly codify one as an otaku.

Yeah, you can probably see where I'm going with all this, can't you?

See, when I woke up, nothing seemed out of the ordinary...at first.

I mean, the most recent memory I had was drowning in saltwater as I watched my part of the city I called home become 100% oceanfront property. So, I figure waking up in a warm bed and a normal looking room was more pleasant than what I had previously experienced. Obviously, I wasn't immediately in the mood to ask questions about my predicament, because I was genuinely convinced I had just cheated death. Better yet, that entire thing with the tsunami hitting my city and drowning in a waterlogged dango shop was all a dream.

Haha, wistful thinking huh?

It was after almost half an hour of being elated that I was alive, did I notice something was off. For starters, the room around me wasn't exactly mine...yeah, it didn't look out of the ordinary, my bed was in the center, I had end tables near it, a dresser her and there. I could see three whole doors, I could only guess one was my closet and the other was my bathroom, with the last being the entrance to the rest of the house.

The problem is that everything seemed just...a bit too big. It seemed as though everything was bigger than it should have been to me, and that was what was putting me off. I hadn't been terribly short or anything, maybe at best 5'8, so everything around me shouldn't have been oversized in comparison to my body. So obviously, I knew had to get a better look at myself. I lifted myself off the bed, and moved to what I thought was the bathroom, opening the door.

Nope...that's a closet.

Ok, after actually finding the bathroom, I was just about ready to check myself to see if everything was ok, when I stopped. I hadn't noticed it when I opened the closet, but my hand was a bit different...it was just a bit smaller than it normally was, and the skin was a bit darker, as though I had a light tan.

Definitely a red flag, no questions asked. The moment I got to the mirror, my mind went flat. The face looking back at me, that couldn't be me. But after a few cursory waves of my hand, I realized that yes, this was me.

For starters, I looked like I had aged backwards by...oh I don't know, at least twelve years or so. I had an extremely youthful face that was right at home on my new 8 or 9 year old body, though it was also a bit more masculine that I would have expected, and I clearly didn't lose any of my partially western features. The other thing was my eyes and hair, now completely different. My eyes, originally dark brown, were now a piercing aqua color, with slightly slit pupils. My formerly short and neat brown hair had been replaced, now dark blue, messy and neck-length, with a single lock almost next to my eye.

Dark blue hair...oh f.u.c.k now I get it.

I've just been Isekai'd!

Yeah, f.u.c.k.i.n.g brilliant, now I was in an anime-esque fantasy world. And to top it off, I'd just been plopped in here after dying. I didn't have a useless goddess sitting down in front of me and laughing in my face, nor did I have a bunch of wizards summoning me and three other assholes into their world to save it from some catastrophe. Nope, I just got dropped into a new world with no idea what the hell was going on, all old school and stuff.

Looking down at myself, I had to at least give a sigh of relief at the fact I was wearing PJs. At least I hadn't been brought into this new world n.a.k.e.d. Speaking of new worlds, and specifically new locations, I should probably check out my house and the area around it.

Leaving my room, I found that my house was rather substantial in size. I was living in a veritable mansion, with a good amount of rooms. Moving downstairs, I found a neat living room with a few couches, and nearby a kitchen of decent size. I moved to the fridge, finding it well stocked, and my hand instinctively darted towards the jug of milk at the front. After looking around for a bit, I found the bowls in one of the cupboards, and a few more minutes of searching yielded a cabinet filled with snacks and food. A part of me was glad that I had least had good cereal to eat, I soon downed the entire bowl. While I was content that I had food and a good house, I still had to worry about the world I had just been reincarnated into.

So obviously I had to go check it out, and get a better hold on my surroundings.

I walked over to a nearby window, fully expecting to see a nice farm town outside with mythical beasts of burden and cute elf girls walking around and-hey, is that Mount Rushmore?

After looking at it for a good minute, I could say with full confidence that no, it was not Mount Rushmore...also I was totally f.u.c.k.i.e.d. At least three of the heads on that mountain had spiky anime hair, with the third face having a pointy beard, and the first two heads wore headbands.

Below the mountain I could see what looked like a borderline city of japanese styled buildings, both houses and simple shops or other types of businesses, with the occasional apartment complex scattered throughout. I could also spot mansions not dissimilar to my own, with some easily outclassing mine. There were of course the odd buildings that I couldn't initially explain the reason for, but I mentally waved them off, because they easily matched with what the metropolis in front of me really was.

Konohagakure no Sato, the hidden leaf village of Naruto fame….

Which meant that I had been reincarnated into the world of Naruto, an anime…

Welp, I wanted to get a better hold on my surroundings after all...guess I'm going sightseeing.

After a shower and a quick jaunt of digging through my closet, I had found a suitable wardrobe for myself. Black trench coat and pants, burgundy colored shirt, and a visor cap that looked like it was merged with my hair. Just like one of my favorite manga characters, I looked like a bonafide delinquent. I smirked at myself in the mirror, ready to hit the town.

So, sightseeing in a famous anime setting...well, wasn't too bad to be honest. Since I was doing everything to try and not look like a weirdo, I had to contain myself when it came to being in awe at my surroundings. After a couple of hours, it kind of lost its l.u.s.ter, so I wasn't going to googly eyed over actually being in an anime world.

Another thing I noticed, particularly about myself, was that my senses were way better than they should have been. I thought maybe that would be normal for a human in the naruto, but after some slight observations, that definitely didn't seem to be the case. I just happened to be reincarnated with heightened senses, woohoo!

That had the added side effect of noticing the little things going on, every minute detail about how people were acting became clear to me, things I wouldn't pick up on easily before. I could tell when a person was nervous by the slight twitching of their facial muscles, I could see if they were putting on facades to hide any real thoughts or intentions while they spoke to one another.

And I could see them. The ninja, both on-duty and off, retired or undercover, they were easy to tell based on their mannerisms. They acted calm and composed on the outside, but they always seemed to be analyzing every person around them, even their own coworkers. And at every other shadow I saw had the ninja ninja...ANFU I think? No, ANBU, that's what I meant.

Yeah, good time to remind myself it's been years since I've read Naruto, let alone watched the anime. After the timeskip, I sort of got turned off by the whole thing, mostly skimming over the unimportant arcs and filler to get to the good stuff, and even then I skipped over some of the important things too. By the time the series really got into high gear, I had already moved on to a series that would become my favorite in the world, ever, period. The only reason I really did try to keep up to date on naruto was to see if my first OTP had become canon yet(it did...took her nearly dying once, and then later on a whole movie for it, but honestly it shouldn't have had to taken that long?).

The ANBU were a bit hard to place, since they were actually covert in their movements and worked as a hidden police service instead of having metaphorical(and sometimes seemingly literal) bright neon signs on them screaming out "ninja". But for some reason, I could at least sense the presence of one or two here and there...probably the rookies of the corps. It should be weird to know that there were people constantly watching me, but I did my best to pay them no mind. Beside, they didn't really seem to give me too much of a passing glance as long as I didn't visibly pick them out from their hiding spots.

After another 20 minutes of walking, I found myself in a residential stretch, with restaurants and tenements visible throughout the area. I felt my eyes going wide at the sight of a familiar ramen stand, noting a few customers coming and going. A part of me didn't want to go in, because if I met him then I knew I'd spill every bit of knowledge I had of the future, and I'd end up making myself look like a crazy person. The rational part of my mind asked "what likelihood is it that he's here now?", and of course the savvy part responded with "oh, you mean at his favorite food joint, run by the only people who pay attention to him and treat him like a human being? Yeah, he's definitely not gonna be there". Yeah, my mind was still pretty split.

Nevertheless, I crossed the threshold and found myself in Ichiraku's. It looked about how I expected it, at least going off the original manga and my own experience with food stands. The old man with permanently closed eyes, Teuchi, prepared some dishes while his daughter moved dirty bowls and other cookware into the kitchen out back. Teuchi looked up to me and flashed me a bright smile.

"Welcome to Ichiraku's, I'll take your order in just a bit!" he called over.

"Oh, uh...thanks," I said awkwardly, taking a seat at the bar somewhat nervously. The old man just gave me a kind smile before going back to work.

Another thing I had to get used to was my voice, being that I was now around nine years old again. It wasn't squeaky and high pitched or anything, but it definitely sounded like the voice of a little kid. I'd have to practice if I wanted to make myself sound like I had any edge to it.

"Alright, that's done...so kiddo, what can I get you?"

"Ah…" I looked over at the menu, focusing on a few choices before making my decision. "Shōyu ramen with beef stock, and some chāshū and wakegi please."

"Sure thing kiddo," the man said, looking to the back room. "Ayame, get the beef stock ready and pull out some pork, onions, and soy sauce."

"Hai tou-san!"

"Alright, I'll be getting your order started in just a bit…" Teuchi suddenly stopped short, looking at me (as best as he could with his closed eyes) skeptically. For some reason, it was like I could suddenly feel some strange energy coming from him, something that I couldn't sense in a physical manner.

"Is something wrong?" I asked anxiously.

"No, no, it's nothing...you just have a unique energy about you," he said, his smile returning as his daughter brought the materials for my order out. "I didn't mean to freak you out or anything...I'll just get your order started, alright kiddo."

I nodded slowly, still wary after that odd event. Any misgivings I had were blown away once he started cooking, the smell was just too good and I couldn't help but smile at the aroma reaching me. I guess having heightened senses wasn't always too bad.

Soon the old man had finished my order, placing it in front of me and moving on to deal with a couple of other customers. I immediately started to dig in and god(s) was it delicious. I had to give Teuchi and his daughter credit, they did a great job. Unlike the main protagonist of the series however, I didn't simply wolf it down impatiently. I took a good 15 minutes to savour the dish, before pushing the finished bowl back.

"Wow, you really took your time huh?"

I looked up to see Teuchi's daughter smiling cheerily at me. She obviously looked younger than in canon, probably by three years at least. I gave the young girl a soft smile in response.

"Yeah, it was pretty good so I wanted to make it last, y'know?"

Ayame let out a short giggle at this. Her father walked over and, seeing that I had finished, sent me a kind smirk.

"Are you interested in ordering more?" he asked me.

"No, not today at least...I'm just gonna pay up and get going," I drawled out, fishing through my pockets. Luckily I had raided my drawers for cash before I went out, since I didn't plan on stiffing anybody with the bill.

"Ah, we usually don't ask first time customers to pay, so-"

"No, no, it's no trouble really," I said, pulling out the amount for shōyu ramen that I saw on the menu, plus a few extra yen(?) as tip. "You guys seem really nice, so I'd hate to skip out on the bill."

Both of them gave me sheepish smiles at this. My soft smile returned as I let the money down on the table.

Walking back home, for the most part, had some minor occurrences that I really didn't pay mind to. For starters, I saw a familiar bushy eyed teen doing his daily exercises. It was really weird seeing Lee without his traditional bowl cut, so the only thing I really recognized was his eyebrows. The only interaction I had with him was him running towards me, saying "excuse me" as he brushed past, and my own recognition of him before going on my way.

Second was seeing an equally familiar bun-haired girl in a qipao blouse training with a variety of weapons. Tenten was swinging all sorts of crazy things around, from the weighted chains and bo staff she had in the anime, to things like bladed fans or katanas. Since I was an unassuming kid who was maybe a couple years younger than she was, she barely glanced at me as I walked by. I figured wearing a badass trench coat would get me more attention, never did I think the opposite would be true.

As I walked back home, I noticed several civilians hard at work. Apparently there was some construction going on nearby, and from what I heard it had something to do with the "attack from almost 8 years before". I couldn't help but cringe at this, since I heard some very choice words about a certain individual. Maybe I could somehow get a job around here if possible, if nothing else but to stay safe in the village-hey is that a piano?

Yes, there was an honest to god piano being lifted near the path I was taking. I found it weird for only a couple of seconds, before I remembered the first Naruto movie and the crazy tech that the villains used. Plus, the daimyō of the countries having a video conference, and Naruto himself somehow having a mac. Yeah, a piano was believable.

Also believable was the fact that the ropes holding the piano as the workers lifted it just happening to start snapping at the wrong moment. Yup, sucks to be those guys...well, best to get moving so I don't get dust in my eyes. That was my initial thought, before I was roughly pushed forward onto the ground.

Right into the path of the now falling piano. I just barely caught a glimpse of the shitstain that did it, a fat kid with fancy looking clothes that just screamed "spoiled rich kid", and he was smirking evilly at me.

I didn't even look at him for too long, because I was already looking at the giant musical instrument descending towards me to spell my next demise.

Isn't that just f.u.c.k.i.n.g brilliant? I get reincarnated into the world of an infamous anime, only to die from a f.u.c.k.i.n.g looney toons gag. The universe was cruel, and whatever deity that had pulled all this on me was probably laughing their asses of at the sick joke they made.

As the piano nearly hit me, the world around me changed, as everything began to gradually turn a shade darker, almost grey. It was as though time slowed to a crawl.

...no, that wasn't accurate...

...It was as though…

Time had stopped.

A ghostly pair of muscular blue and purple arms with wavy golden lines across them and long gold-studded gloves emerged from my chest. The arms immediately set to work on getting rid of the newest threat to my existence.

"ORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! ORA!"

And then, it seemed as though time started to move again.

The world became colorful once more, and the piano nearly hitting me suddenly exploded into a mass of wood, metal, and whatever the keys were made out of. The pieces flew to the sides, causing me no harm whatsoever. Everybody around me watched the spectacle in awe, a few that had apparently been glaring at the rich little shit from before now staring at me in bewilderment.

As for myself, well I was gaping in shock at what had happened, my eyes looking off into space. The way the world seemed to get the pause button pressed, the arms that had come out of me and taken care of the piano. And the voice, the loud and angry yelling that had been let out as the instrument had been pulverized, all of that was so very familiar to me. I immediately decided I'd get to that later.

Because I had to deal with that little brat from before. Said fat f.u.c.k was now looking at the scene with astoundment, and an even fatter man who I could only assume was his father stood behind him equally flabbergasted. They then looked at me, their expressions somewhere between surprise and anger.

Oh-hoh boy, did I really feel like letting them have it right now.

"BASTARD! WHAT'S THE BIG F.U.C.K.I.N.G IDEA PUSHING ME INTO A FALLING OBJECT?! YOU COULD HAVE GOTTEN ME KILLED! YOU HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY FOR YOURSELF ASSHOLE?!"

Both of them looked taken aback, apparently they had never had themselves yelled at in such a way. I was glaring hatefully as the fatass stuttered, still trying to find his voice.

"Y-you have a nice coat," was what he said.

"...What the hell does that have anything to do with this shithead?!" I growled at him, causing him to flinch back.

"I-I figured I could get it at the funeral auction when you died, or at least steal it while you were in the hospital…" the kid's father paled instantly when the boy choked this out.

People around us had obviously heard the entitled brat saying this, and were looking at the two with obvious disdain. Though their voices seemed far away to me, I could hear people calling out and jeering about "rich assholes" and how they "always thought they could get away with doing shit". I barely paid attention, I felt nothing but unbridled fury, it almost felt like I was glowing bright as the sun.

ゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴゴ

The two fat f.u.c.ks in front of me went paler as my glare intensified, my teeth bared and an intensifying growl emanating from my throat. I felt like I was about to reach the breaking point when I felt a hand gently placed on my shoulder. I would have been really pissed that somebody was trying to agitate me if I didn't see who it was that had done it. Kakashi Hatake, the laziest ninja in the history of the universe, was looking down at me in concern.

"Hey kid, I know you're pretty pissed but you need to calm down. Most normal civilians can't handle that much Killing Intent."

I blinked owlishly at him for a couple of seconds, before looking around. Every normal person around me stared at me in terror, the ones who could stand it still visibly on edge. The ninja or former ninja I could pick from the crowd were actually looking at me in surprise, clearly not expecting a young kid to let out that much KI. I made a sort of growl/sigh as I looked back up to Kakashi apologetically.

"S-sorry ninja-san, I didn't mean to lose my cool like that…"

"Relax, nobody's gonna hold it against you...those two however" he looked over to the fat f.u.c.ks, and I felt my rage spike up just a bit at their faces. "Those two will be dealt with, hopefully to the full extent of the law."

The silver-haired man patted me on the back, giving me an eye smile from within his mask.

"Go on and get home, k."

"Yeah, sure ninja-san…"

Of course I got home immediately, because I still needed to deal with the shit I had seen beforehand. Once I was safe in my own room, I hunched over and took a few deep breaths to get my bearings. Once I stood up, I closed my eyes and furrowed my brows in thought.

"Ok, that couldn't have happened...but it definitely happened because I'm not a goddamn pancake right now, so…"

I moved to the center of my room, stiffening my posture in preparation of what I was about to do.

"Alright, here goes...Sutā Purachina!"

I looked on in shocked awe as a figure emerged from me, floating just in front of me. While he was a bit slimmer and less muscular than normal, there was no mistaking what I was looking at. Star Platinum, the stand of one Kujo Jotaro, hovered in front of me. The stand in front of me tilted his head in curiosity as my mouth moved but refused to make words. When I finally did find my voice, I could only say two in english that easily came to mind.

"HOOOLLLY SHIIIITTTT!"

So, if you're just tuning in, I'll give you a basic summary. I've just been reincarnated into the world of Naruto, a manga about super powerful ninjas by Masashi Kishimoto, with 72 volumes and almost 220 anime episodes (a good few of those are actually just filler), and just a few years before the series really begins. Sounds pretty cool right?

WRONG!

Because I've also been reincarnated with strangely enhanced senses (ok, those are the least of my worries but I think it's worth mentioning at least). And of course Star Platinum, the visual manifestation of the psychic power belonging to my second favorite manga character, Kujo Jotaro. That probably also sounds cool, right?

Also wrong, because I couldn't imagine a situation where either scenarios are decidedly okay. In fact, having both happen at once is decidedly not okay.

So, after running home to my new house and confirming that yes, I did have Star Platinum as a stand (and a stand in general), I realized I had to confirm something else. I charged into my bathroom, pulling off my jacket and red shirt. Looking at myself in the mirror, I saw that I had a decent amount of muscle for a nine year old...pretty sweet.

Wait, that's not what I'm trying to focus on dammit.

I turned around, baring my left shoulder towards the reflective surface. My eyes were screwed shut in anxiety at what I was hoping to not see. Looking back, I felt my breath hitch in my throat at what I saw. There was no way I was actually seeing it, but it was there.

A reddish colored star birthmark, on my back left shoulder near my neck.

F.u.c.k I'm a Joestar! Just brilliant! I could only contemplate the sick joke my life had suddenly become as I walked back to my bed, propelling myself backwards onto my mattress.

That had been two whole days ago, and soon after my mind cleared up to the point I could handle my new situation better. I had instantly gone and pulled out some sort of white or blackboard and anything I could write on them with. I luckily found a whiteboard and a black marker, so I went forward with planning in my living room.

For starters, I wrote down all the options on a flowchart for what I should do in this new world from this point. I wrote down all my choices in english, as well as the pros and cons they would have. The choices were as followed;

1. Be a normal civilian, work as a laborer

2. Become a Marine Biologist

3. Become a Ninja

Now, the first one had its benefits. For starters, I'd be safe inside the village (but after that incident with the fatass, I couldn't really feel that safe). Also, if any outside threats approached the village, I could take care of it when they came, I.E the raid that was gonna happen in at least four years from the sound village, and the one a few years after by Pein.

The downside, as I soon wrote down, was Danzo and his root. Yeah, I could probably defend the village from within said village, but if I drew too much attention to myself the that old man would capture me for my unique ability. I'd be constantly interrogated and/or tortured for information regarding stands and how to get them, and I couldn't be certain if it was due to jesus or magical arrows. Regardless of what causes stands in this version of the Naruto world, giving a power hungry lunatic the chance to make an army of stand users at the potential cost of the innocent people who couldn't unlock stands...yeah, no way in any of the 9 or 16 circles of hell would I be a part of that. That option got crossed out immediately.

Option number two had some charm to it obviously. Jotaro had to work three whole jobs instead of one, so he probably didn't have enough time for his work as a marine biologist. Hell, he definitely didn't have time for his daughter. Me, well I'd have more time for that line of work since I wouldn't be working to handle stand users constantly. I might even meet a nice girl, and start a family that I'd spend some real quality time with.

The problem with that one? Orochimaru and Akatsuki. Especially Orochimaru, that would be the one guy I'd worry about in that situation. See, I knew that that pasty ass f.u.c.k was experimenting to make fish people with the help of a medic-nin name Amachi, and if I became a marine biologist, then my expertise would be invaluable. So my family would be kidnapped and they'd try to coerce me into partaking in their research. That would inevitably reveal my status as a stand user, which would result in them learning of my ability to stop time, and that would come full circle with Orochimaru trying to get inside me. No...just, no! Crossed out, regardless of whether or not the scenario seemed nice at first.

So that led me to my final option, which had all the cons of the other ones, but with more pros. For starters, being a ninja that was legally recognized as part of Konoha's forces, that would serve as a buffer for Danzo and root. If I were to tell the hokage about my power, then I'd gain better protection from the crazy cripple, and maybe more help when it came to the snake creep.

Oh, and obviously I'd get badass ninja training and get to the level where I could take on some of the elemental nations heavy hitters. Alongside that, having Star Platinum meant once I got to a certain level, I could body just about any of the really high tier ninja in the world. I could save people who ended up dying, people that the fandom actually really liked. A certain ice user, maybe the sick guy with bone powers. There were endless possibilities...but, if I really wanted to be one of the strongest ninja, then I had to confirm that I did in fact have the power that made Jotaro so feared.

On the board, under all the pros and cons of being a ninja, as well as what I'd do as a ninja, was that exact question. "Can I stop time?" I asked myself in written form. Well, I'm about to find out aren't I?

"Sutā Purachina!" I called out, containing my minor fangasms as the entity obeyed my call and emerged from my very being. It was still a bit weird to have my soul literally extend myself in such a way.

Like I had said earlier, my Star Platinum was actually a bit less buff than the canon SP. I chalked that up to the fact I was now physically nine years old, though I figured my mentality being that of a guy in his early 20s would mean bigger muscles on my stand. My Star Platinum looked more in line with the physical build of stands from part 5 and onwards, though he was still visibly more muscular and larger than Gold Experience and Sticky Fingers. His face also matched my new one a bit more, being more youthful than canon SP, though that may have been both my age and the difference in character design between Naruto and Jojos.

I took a deep breath, furrowing my brows in focus as I mentally prepared myself to churn out to calling phrase.

"...alright, here goes… Sutā Purachina: Za Wāru-HAGHHH!"

My mind suddenly froze and my mouth stopped forming words. Everything became a blur as the pained, dying screams of a woman filled my ears. The disconnected words "take...last...son!" resounded through my skull. And over it all, was the terrifying inhuman screech I was no stranger to.

WRYYYYYYYYYYYY~

When my head was clear once again, I saw my hands were clammy and paler than normal. My entire body shook fearfully, and my breathing had become too heavy for comfort. I swallowed the spittle that had wormed its way through my mouth and throat, and looked up apprehensively.

Was...was he here? My reaction seemed to scream "Yes!" and that I should be worried. So, not only was I a Joestar, but the ever present nemesis of my "family" was here of all places, waiting to re-enter and f.u.c.k everything in my new life up…

F.u.c.k.i.n.g perfect.

Ok, can't get around my possible reaction to Di-augh, to that guy, even being referenced. So I guess I have to figure out another way to activate my time stop. After several seconds of thinking it over, a lightbulb went off in my head as I realized what I needed to do.

"Alright then, here goes... Sutā Purachina: Toki yo tomare!"

*VRRRRRRRRRMMMMM*

I looked around as the world around me gained a greyish tint. Mist seemed to permeate around me, flowing across the ground.

Ichi-byō keika

I looked outside, seeing what had happened. People on the street had stopped moving entirely, everything was like a paused TV screen. Birds that had been flying in midair had stopped their flight, frozen in midair without falling.

Ni-byō keika

"Y-yatta! I have power over time itself! I'll be unstoppable!"

San-byō keika

"I'll take this f.u.c.k.i.n.g place by storm, I'll-Auuuhhhaaagggggh!" My hand went to the left side of my chest, the intense pain in the area almost impossible to describe. "Toki wa ugokidasu!"

*VRRRRRRRRRmmmmmmm*

The world around me regained its color as time started to move again. I was currently kneeling down on the floor, grasping my still aching chest.

Yeah, when I read the manga I didn't exactly understand why stopping time caused heart problems. Now, I think I get it...for me and Jotaro, just stopping time within the limit still causes minute damage to one's heart, which can easily heal if given maybe a week or so. But if you constantly do it, then you're adding on new damage to the amount you already caused. Of course, that blonde undead bastard never had to worry about it because he was a f.u.c.k.i.n.g vampire, and he probably didn't have a heart in the first place.

The reason I just had what might be comparable to a heart attack was because I was going past my set limit. I could only stop time for 3 seconds, which gives me the small damage of a normal time stop. But trying to go past that without proper training is going to immediately pile on major damage that probably gets worse over time.

I went back to my flow chart, making a line from my original question and adding the answer "I can stop time". Then, after a few seconds of deliberation, I drew another line away from that and wrote "I shouldn't stop time". I was at least gonna train with my time stop, and I would try not to overuse it too much at least.

No matter how violent of an urge I had to use it for f.u.c.k.i.n.g with people.

In preparation for training my power over time, I realized I needed to figure out ways to improve my cardiovascular health. Research indicated certain foods like salmon, oatmeal, blueberries, and for some reason dark chocolate. I wasn't actually sure if I could find all of those, so almonds, legumes, citrus fruit, and maybe kale were now part of my shopping list. I could only hope that going past my limit didn't screw it up, and I wasn't keen on testing it just yet.

As I prepared to go out for groceries, I noticed some things on one of the cabinets in my living room. When I walked over, my eyes widened at what I saw; pictures.

I could see myself, or at least my new self, albeit younger than I currently was. And I could see two a.d.u.l.ts in the pictures, one a tall brown haired man with clear japanese features flashing a playful smile, and a western woman with blue-tipped blonde hair smiling sweetly with her eyes closed. Some of the pictures had me, at different ages, smiling and laughing as I was held aloft by the man I could only assume was my father. Others were pictures of the woman who must have been my mother, often nuzzling me to her cheek playfully. One picture had both our star shaped birthmarks on full display.

...So I had new parents? Where the hell were they then?

WRYYYYYYY~

I winced at the horrible shriek piercing through my thoughts. The screams I had heard earlier, the voice that I didn't quite know but seemed so familiar...just what was going on here?

I ran upstairs, looking at the room not far from my own. Nervously gulping down a lump in my throat, I gently turned the knob and slowly pushed the door open. The room I saw, definitely a room that would belong to an a.d.u.l.t couple. A large bed for two, end tables on the end with lamps and more family pictures, and messy dressers that had what looked to be women's undergarments and stripperiffic male clothing peeking out.

This was definitely my parent's room, and my dad was probably an alternate version of Joseph...based on his choice of outfit. My mother might have been a version of Suzie Q, or Lisa Lisa, maybe Tomoko, or perhaps some weird mashup of the three. Of course, there was also the fact that I had had parents…

And from everything I could assume, they were probably dead.

Another picture on the dresser caught my attention. Walking over, I gaped in shock at the people who appeared. Alongside younger versions of my parents were a very young looking Robert Edward O. Speedwagon, Dire of all people looking alive and well, Caesar A. Zeppeli not looking at all flattened like a pancake, Smokey Brown in what looked like a combat outfit, and finally cyborg Rudol von Stroheim standing directly behind them all with a bright smirk on his slightly cybernetic face. I squinted when I looked towards the back of the picture, recognizing five more figures lurking underneath the shadow of a massive umbrella. Three of the figure were very female and very busty, but they were too hidden to make out any discerning features. The fourth and fifth figures however, I'd recognize anywhere without missing a beat. Jonathan Joestar, looking no older than the day he died in canon, smiled brightly from the shadows. To his side was a kindly smiling Erina Joestar, visibly close to her twilight years.

So there was an alternate version of Battle Tendency? I really didn't know how to handle this. Jonathan to, I wouldn't have thought he'd get that deep into his hamon training to the point he'd keep a youthful appearance while his wife withered away. It just didn't make sense, I couldn't comprehend that being something he'd do.

On the other hand, I had a good idea of who my grandparents were now...but the fact that Jonathan had been alive during this world's version of Battle Tendency, then how could Di-agh, how could "a three letter word for total d.i.c.k" still be around. This picture in particular just left me with more questions than answers.

And I wasn't quite ready to start asking them just yet…

Oh, there was one other picture I caught just in time to have a good laugh at though. Since my father was technically an alternate version of Joseph, and there was an alternate version of Battle Tendency, that meant the man had tried to infiltrate a Nazi(?) base. Somebody just happened to be there to take the picture of the idiot in that outfit before he tried to pull it off.

Just seeing that, I couldn't help but guffaw at the absurd image. It definitely brought a smile to my face.

So here I was, walking towards the stand for applying to the local ninja academy. It was a bit after I had gone grocery shopping and bringing my food home. That had been done in more casual clothes, now I approached my target fully decked out in my "Jotaro outfit", dark coat and pants, blue shirt and my mind screwy hat that merged with my hair. Alongside this was my best attempt at an nearly emotionless resting bitch-face, which I seriously hoped wasn't making me looking like I was trying to squeeze out a fat one.

That would be another thing I was practicing, trying to get Jotaro's resting bitch-face right, the very same expression that f.u.c.k.i.e.d with the older D'arby brother when they were playing poker. Yeah, the ability to completely mask my emotions would really come in handy during a ninja career. If I wasn't testing my stand or working out how my reincarnation had specifically worked, I was trying to make myself look completely at home in my new world of circ.u.mstance.

When I finally got to the applicant stand, I saw a somewhat familiar face. Ebisu, the idiot jonin who would be tasked by the Hokage with guarding his grandson, was currently overseeing the stand for academy applicants. He was obviously younger, and wearing the green chūnin vest. So I could assume the guy wasn't a Jōnin yet, he'd probably make that rank within the next four years. It seemed his personality was no different from the original series though, once I was directly in front of the academy application stand (and directly in front of him no less), I was completely ignored. He was sat down reading an orange book, which I could definitely tell was the infamous Icha Icha Paradise, and payed me no mind.

"..Ahem! Excuse me ninja-san!" I called out to the idiot, causing him to look up in annoyance.

"...*sigh* What do you want gaki?"

I narrowed my eyes and sent him a sharp scowl, baring my teeth in the annoyed snarl that Jotaro was famous for.

"This is the place to apply for the shinobi academy, Right? I'm here to sign up."

Ebisu just gave me a c.o.c.ked eyebrow from his douchey sunglasses, before looking back down to his book. But, he did free up his left hand to grab a piece of paper from one of the stacks in front of himself.

"Put your info there, then bring it back to me. Afterwards I'll ask you a set of questions to see if you're really academy material."

I gently grabbed the application form from his hands, then walked to find a place I could fill it out. Luckily, there were some tables nearby for tired workers when they were on break, so I simply took my seat and got to it. The form had basic questions that I would need to answer, age, place of residence, familial consent, ect. For those first three I wrote my new address, my age was nine years old, and I put down the status "orphan", since I had no family that I knew of. After all the other questions and checkboxes I had to fill, I finally had got back to the question I had asked myself not long after I found out I had Star Platinum.

The top of the page obviously had a blank space where I had to put my name. I internally winced, almost reflexively going into autopilot and putting my old name, like I had done for the dango shop in my old life. Luckily, I was able to restrain myself from doing so...also I was using a pen so I couldn't have any f.u.c.k ups.

I carefully wrote "Jōshuya Jōshirō", the new name I had in this world, in that blank space. Funny thing about that, the last portion of my new name shared the same kanji with Emiya Shirō, but only the "man" part. My full name actually seemed like a d.i.c.k joke, which was both amusing and irksome. I wouldn't have put it past my dad to have made up my name for that reason, seeing as how he was willing to crossdress and was the alternate universe counterpart to a man who peeped on his own mother.

After finishing the form, I immediately went back to Ebisu at the application stand. It seemed as though I had never left, the asshole was still reading his orange p.o.r.n book. I took a short, nervous breath before I began moving to the stand, placing myself in front of the idiot chūnin yet again.

"I finished the application form," I grumbled down to him. He looked up from his smut with a sigh of irritation, fixing me a look as he lifted his sunglasses up.

"Alright, I have to ask you some questions to fully gauge your potential, got it?"

I nodded curtly in response, making sure to keep eye contact. Ebisu stood up straighter, looking over to me with intense focus.

"Do you love the village? Do you hope to help preserve its peace, it's prosperity?"

"Hai, I do!" I'd at least do my best

"Do you have an unyielding mind, are you able to endure hard work and training?"

"Hai!" seriously, asking a Joestar if they had a strong mind was like asking if the sky was f.u.c.k.i.n.g blue.

"Are you healthy in body and mind?"

"Hai!" as far as you know doucheglasses.

"Alright, I'll send a member of the academy staff to your home, they'll give you some physical and mental tests to see if you're up to snuff," Ebisu gave me one last sardonic look before lowering his glasses and going back to reading his p.o.r.n. "Have a nice day kid…"

I gave him a low "hmph" as I left, walking back towards my house. During the walk, I contemplated going to Ichiraku, but decided against it. I had gone one other time to settle my nerves, being fortunate enough to not run into Protagonist-kun. But I wasn't ready to tempt fate like that just yet, hell every other time I saw the color orange out of the corner of my eye I internally cringed at the thought that I was about to meet him. So yeah, I was gonna go to my new favorite food joint as sparingly as possible.

When I finally got back to my house, I noticed two people outside it. When I got close enough, I saw two chūnin talking to one another, loitering right in my front yard. One was a kimono clad woman with long, curly black hair and oval glasses, wearing heavy makeup and lipstick. The other was a heavyset looking man in a chūnin vest, his hitai-ate worn over his brown hair like a bandana and a diamond shaped goatee on his chin.

I guess these were the academy staff that were supposed to give me my tests...huh, that was actually pretty fast. The two chūnin looked to me, probably having heard my approach long before I had gotten close. The woman looked over to me skeptically, while the man gave me a jovial smile.

So, I've done this a couple of times in my old life, and it was hilarious. But I was actually wondering if it would work here...eh, worth a shot. I gave the man a c.o.c.ky grin as I pointed a finger at him.

"Let me guess, your next line is "You're Jōshuya-san right? We're here to administer your entry test", am I right?"

"You're Jōshuya-san right? We're here to administer your entry test…" the bearded ninja smiled at me for a few more seconds, before opening his eyes wide and looking at me in astonishment. "H-HUUUUH!?"

I had to really fight down a laugh, holding my c.o.c.ky facial expression as best as I could. While her coworker was still sputtering wordlessly, the curly haired woman looked over to me in bewilderment. I honestly hoped I made a good impression on them, because the line prediction thing was one of my best tricks I picked up from the actual Jojo manga.

"Well, I guess we don't need to give you the mental test…" she trailed off, still giving me a look of amazement as she walked closer to me. "I'm Suzume, I normally teach the female academy students in kunoichi class. The guy you just broke over there is Daikoku, he teaches some of the other academy classes," she looked back over to the other chūnin, sweatdropping at his confused staring at me.

"Hey Daikoku, you're the one who's supposed to give the gaki his physical test right? Get to it!" she growled over to him, snapping him out of his daze.

"Oh, yeah ok...come on then Jōshuya-san, there's a training ground nearby we use for academy applicants."

"Yare Yare Daze...alright, let's get this over with…"