-Naruto as an actual Reviewer... you can never expect these CO fics coming but when they do, they'll always pop off/
Synopsis: Welp, they did it, because of Kurama's horrible handwriting, the moon was sent to another dimension and blown up. Everyone on the moon died except for the unfortunately super durable Naruto, and now he is trapped in a world where perverts like his Master would give anything to be in. Well, he might as well make himself comfortable.
Rated: M
Words: 22K
Posted on: m.fanfiction.net/s/13775654/1/Naruto-the-Ninja-Reviewer (fairy tail dragon slayer)
PS: If you're not able to copy/paste the link, you have everything in here to find it, by simply searching the author and the story title. It sucks that you can't copy links on mobile (´ー`)
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Chapter 1
Not a good day to be Naruto Uzumaki.
19 years old.
Saved the world more than two times through his power and charisma, and he was currently really hating a certain stupid fox with horrible handwriting skills. A fox who accidentally wrote something incorrect instead of the right thing, because his handwriting had been so bad that the people who were in control of the giant f.u.c.k.i.n.g chakra canon that was aimed at the moon couldn't read it properly.
"I apologized for that."
"Kurama, you suck." Naruto stated as he looked down at his broken body.
His right arm was covered completely in burns and twisted at three different angles, all of which were NOT at the joint. His legs were both bent backwards from a very bad landing, and he had a hole right through his right lung. His left arm was detached from his body.
"I'll take care of that one... sorry."
"Kurama, you suck a little less." Naruto stated as a yellow chakra arm shot out of his body and grabbed his detached arm, before his arm was reattached to his body and started to heal back together. While he wasn't able to regrow an arm from nothing, as long as he still had the arm he could always reattach it easily enough with his healing ability. "Now fix the rest of me, I've been bleeding out for like... 6 hours now." Naruto stated with a twitching eye.
He was in a different dimension.
Summoning Toads wasn't an option, he tried that already and this dimension seemed to be connected to other dimensions in a very odd way. It was a one way only dimension, meaning that things could come to this dimension, but they couldn't go the other way. His chakra was stuck in this dimension for that very reason, so he couldn't preform his Summoning Jutsu at all, meaning he couldn't be pulled with a Reverse Summoning either.
"How many times will I have to apologize?"
"I'm very pissed off, and depressed... your bad hand writing got me blasted to a different dimension, oh, and now I can't become Hokage, and the love of my life is dead. Keep apologizing and we'll see." Naruto stated with narrowed eyes. The hole in his chest was healed up, and his arm started to snap back into place at the various shattered pointed. His legs had already fixed themselves as steam came off of his body.
A dragon roared at Naruto.
"Dragon, he is very pissed off right now, you better not attack him." Kurama warned the dragon using Naruto's mouth.
Naruto switched back in.
"Attack me dragon, do it, I dare you." Naruto stated as he narrowed his eyes and glared at the dragon. The dragon whimpered at the look he sent it, and with a flap of it's wings it started to fly away.
When he finished healing, he stood up.
"You can't stay mad at me forever."
"I'm not going to stay mad forever, I've seen what going down that path does to somebody. Obito would never let me live it down in the afterlife if I became like him, but I am going to stay mad at you for a little bit. Anyway, you didn't do it on purpose, and it's not the first time my loved ones have died." Naruto's eye was twitching as he jumped up and landed on top of the tallest tree. "I will come in there and kick your ass in like 10 seconds though if you don't stop annoying me." Naruto was in a very bad mood.
Dragons existed in this world, so it was clearly different from his world, where the dragons had been wiped out completely a LONG time before he was ever born. Most mythical creatures had been wiped out or sealed away in his world, not counting the animals who grew too large to be easily wiped out.
"You're taking this very well... ow! OW! Stop hitting me!"
Naruto went into his own mind partially and started to beat up Kurama while jumping from tree to tree in the direction of a town that he could see. Naruto was a tall, a good 180 cm tall factually speaking, with blond hair that kept kept rather short. His clothes were in tatters, but he was decent enough to go into a town. He had very bright blue eyes, peach skin that didn't have a flaw to it, despite the fact that his entire body had just been severely injured just moments ago.
"You sense any chakra?" Naruto asked Kurama with a raised eyebrow.
Naruto stopped hitting Kurama as he got more serious.
"Not chakra, it seems far more like the spiritual energy in your body than physical or chakra. It's not senjutsu either, but the people in that town possess power of their own." Kurama's voice was a little pained after his ass kicking. "We cool now?... OW!?"
"Yeah, we're cool... anyway, now isn't the time to cry. I'm in a different dimension, different world that plays by different rules. I wish I could summon a toad to scout things out." Naruto stated with as frown. As much as he wanted to, even when he activated his Six Paths Sage Mode, he couldn't sense anything out of this dimension.
This entire dimension was a 1 way in, no way out, type of dimension that played by rules he didn't quite understand.
He would learn the rules of this world and do his best to find a way home, and if that was impossible, he would make a life for himself.
Once he had a place to stay, he could cry over his loses.
"Good, do you need me to stay awake, or do you want me to scan to see if the others..."
"They didn't survive... Shikamaru, Sai, Sakura, Hinata, and Hanabi aren't like me. They aren't as strong or durable, a moon blowing up would kill them... and even if that didn't kill them, falling from orbit... this is the third time I've fallen from orbit." Naruto stated with a twitching eyebrow when he realized he had a little too much experience with this subject. First, he fell from orbit against Sasuke, and then against Toneri, and NOW he fell from orbit again in less than a few days after the last time.
His body was too f.u.c.k.i.n.g durable, and right about now he actually hated that fact.
Naruto landed on a building in the center of the town after one really, really good jump once he got close enough.
He started to sweat.
"What..."
"... the f.u.c.k?" Naruto finished for Kurama when he noticed that he had landed right on top of a brothel, and that he was SURROUNDED by different brothel-type buildings as well. That wasn't the only issue that he was having though. When he looked off of the top of the building, Naruto saw that there were tons of different humanoid species that weren't humans.
"Is that a fox girl?" Kurama asked as he looked through Naruto's eyes and saw a fluffy woman with nine tails sticking out of her rear end. "... Rip her head off her shoulders! Such a small and weak creature has no-OW!"
Naruto punched Kurama inside of his mind.
"This place has so many brothels, Master Jiraiya would have loved it here... the damn Pervy Sage. Anyway, it doesn't seem prostitution is illegal here like it is in the Leaf. I'm going to say that the different women species might have different s.e.x.u.a.l needs, so outlawing s.e.x would discriminate against them. Still, p.r.o.s.t.i.t.u.t.es don't fill my belly or give me a place to sleep, lets move on." Naruto jumped off of the building and into the alley next to it. Naruto crossed his arms and started to walk out of the alley and down the street. "Kurama, keep your eye out. For all we know, this place could be a trap." Naruto told Kurama to stay awake inside of him and keep an eye out for hostile intent against them.
"Hey Mister Fox-man, care to drop by for a good time, for a handsome man like you, we can lower the price by 500G."
"Look are those arms, and he looks like he just came from a huge fight, but he doesn't have a scratch or a weapon on him."
"His magic is weird feeling, but it's on a completely different level. I can literally taste it from here, and it's simply amazing. Mister Fox-man, we can lower the price by 800G for your first visit, but only if you let the girl pick you! We have a nice selection of elfs!"
"They are talking about you." Kurama stated to Naruto. Find authorized novels in , faster updates, better experience, Please click #%!d(string=15819206506160005)/my-co-stash-86---naruto-the-ninja-reviewer-by-fairy-tail-dragon-slayer-(narutoxinterspeciesreviewers)_%!d(string=51629278785240204) for visiting.
"Eh? I'm not... oh... my face." Naruto could see why he was mistaken for a fox-man, since he had a very fox-like face and whisker marks. "Sorry ladies, I'm broke at the moment, and I'm human, not a fox-man." Naruto turned to face the long eared women, and some of the half-animal women that had been calling out to him.
Also the loli?
"Judging by the feel of her energy, she seems to be even older than Tsunade."
"Yeah, I already guessed that." Naruto had a good ability to tell a woman's age from his experience with old women who looked young. Just the way they held themselves was enough for him to know this girl was far older than even Tsunade was, and she was in her 60s. His statement of being broke though seemed to get more than half of the girls interested in him to leave him alone.
Naruto was still approached though.
"If it's money, then you should go to Ale & Eats, it's a tavern with a quest board that you can use to make some money. After that, you should come and visit the store I work at." The old loli spoke to Naruto, and he noticed that she had furry ears sticking out of the sides of her head. She had light blue hair that was in a similar style to Hinata's had been, and she even had purple eyes, though far darker than Hinata's eyes had been.
"Sadist?"
"Yeah, sure." Naruto agreed with Kurama, since he got some sadist vibes from this girl.
"Oh, you'll visit my store, well, that is just great. Your body looks very sturdy, tell you what, here is my card, if you use it-" The girl pulled out a lipstick that was the same color as her skin, and she kissed her card and left a mark. She smiled at Naruto, and he could see her picture and name was on the card. "-you can get 300G off your visit with me. I'm a rookie in this business, but I'll be sure to be gentle with you."
Naruto cursed himself and his habit of speaking to Kurama out loud.
"That sounds... great, I'll be sure to stop by then." Naruto had no real intention of stopping by a brothel, but he might as well eventually, if only to repay her for helping him out. She seemed nice, though with a sadistic aura. He might stop by the store, if only to pay her for the information that she gave him when he had the money for it. 'Kurama, stop snickering in there.' Naruto thought, instead of speaking out loud.
Kurama was snickering.
"I wasn't aware you were into that sort of thing, and here I thought those with large b.r.e.a.s.ts... well, you were attracted to Sakura as well, and she was as flat as they came. Still... I'm not going to say another word." Kurama saw a mental image of Naruto appear in front of him, and he knew that he was about to get punched again if he didn't keep his mouth shut.
"Quick question... what are you?" Naruto asked the girl.
She blinked.
"Ah... you're one of those people, aren't you?" Piltia asked with a tilted head.
"What type of people?"
"People who died in other worlds and reincarnated here, or people who were sent here through a portal. I'm a Halfling, a small species, we're very common so you must have just gotten to this world. If you go to Ale & Eats and explain your situation to them, you can get a free room for a week while you get used to this world, since you're stuck here now." Piltia explained the situation to Naruto.
There was a moment that Naruto didn't have anything to say.
"... Is that common... people from other worlds?" Naruto just asked that simple question, but the way that Piltia seemed so accepting of him without him even needing to explain his situation to her meant that he was not that uncommon of an issue.
She nodded her head.
"Well, it's not super common, but in every town you can find 5 or 6 people who were originally from other worlds. Usually, they all come from a place called Japan, but looking at you, that isn't the case. I wouldn't look for a way to return back to your world if I were you, I can tell you now you would be wasting your time. This world has a one way policy towards people from other worlds." Piltia deadpanned, since it was also super common for people to spend their whole lives seeking ways to get back where they came from.
Naruto felt sadness in his gut,
That hope was dashed, but it did confirm the suspicions that he had already had and experimented with. Piltia grabbed his hand and she took it with both of her own, before she gave the palm of his hand a gentle kiss.
"Consider that a gift from me to you, well, see you when you come to the store. Don't lose that card, and do me a favor and ask for the 3 hour course, it's expensive, but worth it for both of us!" Piltia turned around when she noticed a customer entering the store she worked at, and she made sure to go in through the door hidden in the alley.
There was a moment where Naruto looked at his hand.
"... Girls in this world are so..."
"Forward?" Kurama finished Naruto's thought.
"Yeah, that... damn, this really is Pervy Sage's dream paradise." Naruto deadpanned when he realized that if there was any world that man would pick to reincarnate into, it would be this world here. He sighed to himself, before he started to walk.
He needed to visit this Ale & Eats place before anything else.