Chapter 702: Meet The Parents
“I’ll go... uh, gimme a sec... lemme just ... yes, the door... I’ll just...”
I’ve never jumped up to my feet so fast before in my life. My heart was pounding hard enough to rupture a vessel probably. I knew what to do, but my body only seemed to wanna listen to the blaring chaotic siren called panic.
The knocking at the front door became more persistent, and right there it was as if I had to relearn how to walk again, bumping, stumbling my way across, while at the same time trying to flatten out my clothes as best I could.
“Wait, wait, wait!” Amanda urged in a whisper, pulling back down her sweater in a hurry and wiping her lips of drool. “One minute! Give me one minute!”
“They’re not giving us a minute!” I whispered over the endless pounding of wood. “Just... be cool, okay? We’re cool. And stash the wine, the drinks! It’ll be fine. This is exactly how the evening is supposed to go anyway, right?”
“I’d agree with you five minutes ago,” Amanda huffed, rushing the bottle and both glasses to the kitchen, a slight glare in her eyes flaring her cheeks even redder than before. “Ahh, everything was going so perfectly too...”
“Stop pouting,” I brushed my hair back. “This is more important now.”
.....
“Not to me it’s not,” She continued to simmer. “Not anymore, anyway.”
I couldn’t focus on Amanda for the time being, I was too busy rebuilding my composure, working up my own nerve while only having a window of mere precious seconds.
Now then... don’t be an idiot, don’t forget to smile either. Be cordial, pleasant, and be the best version of you that you definitely are, definitely. But most importantly...
Don’t fuck this up.
With a deep breath and nothing to lose, I swung open the door and came face-to-face finally with the mythical Lying Plan-Canceller of the Night, The Ruiner of Plans herself.
For like a fourth of a second, I felt like I had lost my voice again, not from panic, or a lack of balls, as per usual, but instead it was ’cause I was looking at a face, at a smile, at a figure beneath the doorway that was momentarily bewildering.
Mrs. Mommy Collins.
It was like I was staring at an older version of Amanda that hopped back here through a time machine. She had the same shapely grooves around her face, gazing back at me with those same rounded, soft eyes, gleaming with those same hazel hues. She was her daughter to a tee save for the glaring features that come with age, wrinkles at the edges of her eyes, a faint sag to her skin, and a few lines of gray woven in with her curly blonde hair.
No doubt she was old, but undoubtedly she was also on the youthful side of that old... having a palpable air of zest and energy probably didn’t hurt either. All in all, she looked more than I expected.
That being said, luckily I’m accustomed to dealing with the unexpected.
I gave my best smile, “Sorry for the wait. Mrs. Collins, right? Good evening. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”
Cliched, boring, and if I allowed my intrusive thoughts a say, probably a bit forced too.
Like Amanda, Mrs. Collins was only slightly shorter than I was, but with that peculiar glint in her eyes, as if studying me through and through, suddenly she was looking a whole lot larger than I ever could be.
I wish she’d say something... it’s getting awkwarder by the milliseconds.
“Uh, I’m sure you’ve heard tons about me, right?” I whipped my hand out forward. “I’m the boyfriend. The one that’ll be trying desperately to meet your expectations all evening. Looking forward to it too.”
But not even the trite and true handshake greeting elicited any response from her. If anything, she just looked more amused, cocking her head ever subtly sideways like she was watching a dog do tricks for treats or something.
Please, for the love of God... just do something.
“Mom, what are you doing?” Nearby behind, Amanda yelled, looking absolutely ruffled. “He’s saying hello to you, would you stop trying to get in his head? Shake his hand!”
Finally, only after duress from her daughter, Mrs. Collins’s smiling exterior fracture enough to allow a faint chuckle to seep through the cracks, and relented, raising her own hand and placing it in mine with a firm yet gentle shake.
“Sorry about that,” She said, smirking apologetically. “Just wanted to see how’d you react. Keeping your cool under pressure is an important quality to have in life,” then slowly leaning in closer, she said in a slyer quieter tone. “Especially if you’re really thinking about going out with my daughter.”
“Mom!”
“Kidding, kidding!” Mrs. Collins replied back to her daughter over my shoulder, drawing her hand away and raising it high in a wave. “Besides, he’s doing great so far. Handsome, polite, I’m liking him already!”
Always believed Amanda’s penance of mischief was an acquired talent or something. But no, after meeting the mom, I realized that shit’s hereditary, alright... and something tells me Mrs. Collins was a large step above her daughter when it comes to being a wildcard.
Especially after that whole thing about pretending to be unable to visit until tomorrow. Not even Amanda saw that one coming.
“But a bit slow it seems, hm?” Mrs. Collins raised her brows at me, frowning prominently. “It took a while for you to answer the door. I had thought you’d be more punctual considering who you’d be expecting.”
“Actually, we didn’t,” I said, trying to sound as normal as I could. “I mean, we were under the impression you weren’t coming. So really, we weren’t expecting anything.”
“Be that as it may, it’s still no reason for being late... that is unless you were busy doing something beforehand,” Once again, those studious probing eyes stared, her frown slowly transforming into something a bit more devious. “I wasn’t interrupting anything important, was I?”
Yep, a master manipulator this one. Luckily, with Amanda, I danced this dance before. I knew my way around the ring well enough.
“Ask me no questions, and I’ll tell you no lies,” I answered, leaving it at that, stepping out of the way to let her in. “I had a late start, my bad. Don’t worry though, I’ll catch up eventually.”
That was when she smiled again, and for the first time... and it felt as if we were finally actually greeting each other.
“We’ll see about that, I suppose,” Mrs. Collins said, walking into the apartment while still glancing at me from the corner of her eye. “So, I know your face now, but not your name still. What do I call you?”
“Who he is is not as important as how he is,” came suddenly a lower voice coming nearer before I could answer. “And knowing how young men are nowadays, well... I’m not holding out too much hope is all I’ll say.”
Mrs. Collins walked away... and shortly after came, well.... immaculate, spotless-that’s all that I could think about when he finally appeared. It was like he just came out of a movie about the highs and highers of high aristocrats.
“You haven’t even see him yet,” Amanda said aloud. “Use your eyes not your lips to judge, isn’t that what you always tell me, dad?”
Mr. Collins...
A splendid suit and pants covered his lean, tall figure in a lofty black, and not a single strand of hair fell astray from his side-parted look, as he strode into Amanda’s home with polished, spotless black shoes, giving him the dense, overbearing vibe of a person that knew how to get things done and done well at that.
“Why else am I here then, sweet pea?” He replied, his deep voice softening once addressing her. “Who better to judge?”
Then at once, he whirled around at me, boring into my very soul with a pair of sharp, piercing black eyes, which shape and size, I realized bore more of a resemblance to Amanda than it did with her mother’s. With thin lips, and a chiseled chin, I saw him clench his jaw at me.
“Your necklace is skewed,” He informed me before I had the chance to greet him, reverting back to a sterner tone. “Did you notice that?”
“Oh, uh...” I quickly glanced down, and indeed Irene’s gift was nowhere to be seen, instead, I felt it warm and pulsing leaning atop my shoulder. “Thanks for-”
But he was already gone, leaving me with nothing but that hard intense gaze he gave my appearance... as he strode over and joined Mrs. Collins in greeting their daughter with squeals, hugs, and a bunch of kisses.
Alone, a little bit stunted, I slowly shut the door close, and as I quietly shuffled back into the living room... I realize that I might probably be in for quite a long night.
Longer than I was expecting, at least.
But once again, luckily, that was just my specialty...