Chapter 722: A Snowy Slumber, Part
Her question kept ringing in my ears. Like the sour melody of an alarm clock with a broken snooze button, I kept hearing it.
Perhaps a smarter, cleverer man than I would’ve known the right way to handle an elephant of a question like the one she asked. But as I am now, sadly I’m just gonna have to be content with being squished under the heft of its foot.
“How do I do it...” I said, slowly enunciating every single word hoping comprehension would come any moment. “With-”
“Ash, yeah...” Amanda reaffirmed, her tone trailing with a sincere curiosity. “When you’re with her, like this, how did it go?”
Any other time, any other scenario, and this would feel like a question she’d weaponize to tease me with over and over again, and for a moment, I almost believed she was... almost...
“Not only just Ash,” She quietly went on. “Irene, you did it with her too, right? How did she...? Well, how was she for you?”
I lay there silently for a few moments, not realizing my mouth was already hanging open until I breathed in to speak.
.....
“Sorry, who’s bringing up the other girls now?”
“Call me a hypocrite later,” She said, shifting her gaze in discomfort, embarrassment, or perhaps a bit of both. “Just... just indulge me for now, will you? I promise there’s a good reason.”
Good reason, she says... on the other hand, If I know women, which I don’t, I know there’s never a good reason to start kissing and telling about your prior romantic escapades to the girl you’re presently with now.
Still, she did say there’s a good reason, so...
“It was... nice, I guess?” I attempted to answer, knowing immediately right after by the look on her face I was better off not answering at all. “Look, what do you want me to say, exactly?”
“Just how it went, that’s all,” She said, turning herself back sideways towards me in attention. “Like with Ash, how did she...? I mean, well, who touched who first?”
“I believe, um...I believe she did,” instantly, and frighteningly vividly I recalled that night, every minute, every second, an unforgettable experience. ” We were laying down beside each other. We went camping, alone... there was a lake nearby. Anyway, we were just talking, I remember telling her about the stars, and she... she suddenly got on top of me, and slowly placed her hands in mine, and then...”
I stopped there. Any more, and I feel I might actually be digging an unclimbable hole for myself. But when I glanced over at Amanda, there was not a sly sliver of envy to be seen anywhere on her expression. If anything, she just looked even more curious.
“Did she kiss you?” She asked.
“Yes,” I said.
“Then?”
“There was a lot of movement, a lot of breathing. I... I remember taking her sweater off, and...”
The hole was getting deeper and deeper.
“And?”
“I began touching her,” I continued, doing my best to sound as nonchalant as I could while my mind was busy having a total meltdown. “Her body, her breasts. We began moving again. I kissed her again. It was getting intense. I was losing myself, after that she asked...”
It happened right then in a blink of an eye. I felt the entire bed give a quiver. A streak of bright blonde whipped the air, and the ceiling light eclipsed and darkened. I blinked, pulled violently back into the reality of the moment, and my thoughts of Ash were immediately overthrown by the sight of Amanda looming over me. Her legs were spread, the dainty weight of her slender body spread across my waist as I gaped speechless, stricken by her boldness, her audacity, and her... her in her entirety.
“Like this?” She asked almost lasciviously, her chest rising and sinking in time with her muted heavy breathing. “Did she mount you like this?”
I got hard. Despite all my reservations, seeing her, feeling her, had me throbbing painfully for her. And I knew she knew, I knew she felt it, beneath the hems of her thin gown, stuffed between the softness of her thighs-her shoulders gave a jerk-she knows alright.
“I...”
“How about this?” She asked me again, leaning her closer, lower, the electrifying jolt of her breasts against my chest, her hot breath on my lips, as hers lightly grazed mine, craving badly, asking tenderly, “Did she kiss you like this?”
I was plunged in the darkness, drowned in sensations. The way she kissed, the slow grinding movement of her hips, her hands itching for a grip, something to hold, seizing locks of my hair, and refusing to let go.
Then in the midst of it all, sounding through the ardor, our breathings, and moans, Amanda pulled back, a string of drool connecting her gaping mouth and mine, to ask, “And Irene? How did she... what did she do for you?”
“Why?” I asked, looking up at her almost dazed expression. Close enough to the enamored glint in her eyes to count every individual strand of her thick lashes. “Why does it matter?”
“It matters because I want to know. Tell me.”
This blurred and blinded by the heat of the moment, it took a couple of seconds to clear out the sultry fog in my head to be able to recall.
“Irene was nervous... she was hesitant to do anything, so I had to... I pinned her down...”
And as if my words willed reality itself. I found myself being pulled upright. Amanda tugging, falling, her blonde hair spilling more and more onto her sheets, until she was shaded in darkness as I loomed over her body. She touched me again, her hand reaching up and. stroking the side of my face.
“What else?” She urged.
I made an effort to recall. Bits and pieces. Flashes and glimpses.
“I fondled her, but I don’t suppose you...?”
Like before, words turned into actions, and she took my hand, laying it firmly down on her breast. I could feel the warmth permeating through her nightdress, the suppleness, as if her dress wasn’t even there.
“You took initiative? How very daring of you,” Amanda said, locking a grip around my wrist and keeping it firmly planted there, the corner of her glistening lip twitching slightly. “Keep going.”
Almost lost my voice trying to keep up with her request.
“Irene became more confident. She asked if... if she could touch me too.”
I felt her chest swelling slightly upward, freezing, then sinking as she spoke again, “Did she?”
My eyes reflecting in hers gave the answer before I even said it, “Yeah.”
The bed shook again. Amanda squirmed ever so little in descent, our gazes permanently interlocked, and once more, she reached for me... her palm slowly grazing across my stomach, I felt my pants lift, her fingers slipping. I breathed in.
“Y’know, I still don’t know what you’re doing,” I said softly, yet abrupt enough to momentarily halt in her place. “And with this much confidence too... I mean, where does it even come from?”
“Confident?” She repeated, blinking once. “Is that what you think?”
“It’s what I’m seeing.”
“Then try taking a closer look, why don’t you? Or rather...” She moved my hand again, shifting it up a little higher, pushing it down a little harder. I nearly panicked-her heart was beating faster than anything I’ve ever felt.
“Understand now, my darling lover?” She said, smiling at my reaction. “I’ve never been more nervous for anything in my entire life.”
If she hadn’t clarified that for me, I would have gone on thinking she was really as dauntless as she appeared. She hides things well. But I knew already, from what I’ve seen, from what I’ve heard. Kinda begs the question then...
What else was she hiding now?
“And the reason?” I asked. “You said there was a good reason for this.”
“And there is,” She reassured, meekly shaking her head right after. “Except it’s kind of... a silly one too.”
“Try me.”
The more we spoke, the more the intensity of the moment dwindled, subsiding... like a wildfire dying.
Amanda pulled her hand out of my pants, but she still clung to me close, refusing to let go, strapping her arms around my neck as if afraid I might move away from her any moment.
“I needed to know... Ash, Irene... what they did with you, the things they did. Because as you can probably guess... I wanted to copy what they did, feel what they felt... with you.”
“And why would you want to do that?”
“Because right now, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what I want,” She said, conflicted. “So how is it that they know what they want so easily? Like it just comes so... naturally. I thought maybe if I copied them, maybe it’ll click, maybe I’ll know what I want... that’s what I’m hoping at least.”
There was a swell of embarrassment in her voice that just sounded so endearing to me. The rare glimpses of timidity, apprehension, seeing the cunning, scheming Amanda so flustered with indecision... I wanted to just tease her.
But, alas, I held back my taunts.
“If you don’t want to do it, Amanda, it’s okay. You can just tell me you-”
“But I do! I do want to do it! Right now, in the morning, in the evening! Every day, every moment, I just want to keep loving you! I want to enjoy this, enjoy you... but at the same time... I don’t want to rush this.”
“Rush?”
“Because we’re here, because we’re alone... does it mean that we really have to do it now?” She asked. “I don’t want to wait, but at the same time, I don’t want to be frivolous.”
“Frivolous?” I was smiling now, brushing away a strand of her hair that fell over her gaze. “Amanda, since when has anything you’ve done been frivolous?”
“I know...” She said, her voice growing softer. “I know every moment I have with you is special, and I know that this is also special, but when we do it... when I... when I finally give myself to you... I want to make sure that the moment is absolutely right.”
“So, here, now... you don’t think that it’s the right moment, then?”
“See, that’s the thing,” She sighed, showing that indecisive look on her face again. “I don’t know if it is or if it isn’t. I honestly don’t have an idea.”
I went silent. Wholeheartedly, I can understand where she’s coming from, how she’s feeling. I’m of the same mind. With her, I want it right. That’s why I kept asking first, kept insisting, until I finally pried her intentions from her. And now that I finally know... I frankly haven’t the faintest what to say.
“The other girls... how did they do it? To them, it was so easy for them to decide, to know when the moment’s right.”
“Not really,” I muttered. “I mean with Irene... I was kinda coerced into it or die.”
“All the same,” Amanda brushed it aside. “At least she knows exactly what she wants. Why can’t I?”
“You really haven’t a clue, huh?”
“No, I don’t,” She shook her head, and suddenly, I felt her arms clinging tighter. “That’s why I’m leaving the choice to you.”
“What?”
At once, she hoisted herself up, pulled my head down, crashing our lips into each other. It was forceful, violent, and in a strange roundabout way, almost submissive-like.
“Where I should want this, whether I should rush this,” She said between breaths. “It’s up to you now.”
I struggled to get a word out, only barely managing within a split second. “Amanda, I can’t just...”
.....
“You can,” She interrupted. “I trust you.”
Then after the most passionate, most fervent kiss, Amanda broke away, collapsing hard on the bed in a fit of heavy audible gaspings.
“So you tell me...” She muttered, staring up at me, her gaze docile, accepting, her wanting body beneath mine squirming in anticipation. “Should I?”