748 Distant Secret
Ice skating might just be the best idea I’ve ever came up with since I tricked a younger, naiver Sammy to do my farm chores for me by simply telling her that only big, strong girls could possibly handle the big, strong girl task of shoveling manure.
To be honest, as much as it pains me to admit it, Adalia and I had never shared much common ground with each other.
We didn’t have a favorite TV series to binge, a favorite songs to bop our heads to, and most of our time involved with each other consisted of just small talks, an awkward moment here and there, before eventually ending with me with a significantly lower platelet count, and her curled up on the nearest comfortable surface somewhere slumbering away like a house cat.
So being able to have this, being able to enjoy this… swiveling across nimbly, freely, from one end of the frozen lake to the next, without any reason to care, or worry about wasted moments and opportunities, we just kept going… we just kept enjoying.
Eventually, I drifted away from her embrace to spread my own wings out, maintaining my own balance, and at once it became abundantly clear to me that all the while I had actually been holding her back from her full potential.
Whereas I, while sliding along the ice, still retained much of my stiffness and awkwardness, Adalia only got better, grander, like an eagle soaring untamed into the vast blue sky.
I had the toughest time just trying to keep her within my sights—that’s how much of a blur she had become, whizzing past other skaters, weaving effortlessly through narrow misses, snapping into opposing directions at the slightest bend of her body.
It was like I was witnessing a figure skating performance of the highest caliber, the way she had so effortlessly turned every frosted inch of the lake into her stage.
And turns out, I wasn’t the only one in the vicinity holding front-row tickets.
.....
Most, if not all, had also taken notice of the Olympic candidate gliding circles and loops in our midst, and quite a number had taken pause in whatever they were doing to simply stand and marvel in awe.
But what delighted me the most was to see that Adalia was completely oblivious to it all. Even while basked in the limelight of the glaring sun, assailed by the sonorous echoes of distant loudspeakers, they no longer seem to be bothering her. And that, more than anything, almost had me wishing this winter season would kindly last forever.
I’ll tell you what couldn’t last forever though—and that was my stamina.
Let me tell you, trying to maintain a solid footing without the presence of friction was murder on the muscles. Before I embarrassed myself any more, I hauled myself to the nearest piece of land in sight, recouping my strength on a makeshift bench consisting of a flat piece of rock and some soft clumps of snow.
I continued to just observe her from my little observatory, feeling like the most avid birdwatcher catching a rare sight of his favorite bird perched serenely on a stray branch and gushing over just how much of a blessing it was to be within her presence.
Then it happened… like a loud creak in the trees startling the bird away. A stray child suddenly bumped hard into her.
It took a hard thud in the ice before Adalia finally took notice, snapping back into the present and skidding instantly to a stop. I was surprised to see how fast she had converged onto the kid, her usual blank expression rippling a sliver of concern.
Already my body was spurring with the immediate urge to help out, but a part of me wanted to stay… a part of me wanted to just keep observing. To try and unearth what exactly though… I’m not so sure.
The kid, a young boy, upon a closer glance, appeared to be in some level of pain. He was vigorously rubbing his left elbow which was probably the source of that loud thud, and his face was clenched and gradually turning red.
‘Are you alright?’, ‘Here, little buddy, I’ll help you up’, and countless other ways I’d try to smooth things over popped up in my head a dozen bright ideas at a time. Then on the other hand, Adalia decided for a more silent approach, crouching down at eye-level with the kid, and simply stared, wisely keeping her hands obscured and to herself.
Goes without saying, but her blank stare really wasn’t garnering her any favor with the poor kid… trembling now, and any second about ready to burst into tears. Adalia just quietly teetered her gaze.
As luck would have it, right before things could go from bad to worse, salvation came—arriving promptly in the exasperated stride of a mother.
“Liam!” I heard her cry out, quickly pulling him up to his feet steady and carefully. “What did I say? How many times did I tell you to be careful where you’re going? Are you hurt? Oh, I’m so sorry about my son…”
And to Adalia, the mother began profusely bowing her head, apologizing, thanking, complimenting, the whole nine yards, while she remained huddling over accepting it all with all the grace and finesse of a limp wooden plank.
Finally, after a final apology in unison, both mother and son skirted off, and Adalia was left alone once more, aligning her stare back forward, peering almost curiously as the both of them blended back into the crowd.
I did my best, strained my imagination as far as I could to imagine Adalia reacting any other way. I tried to imagine her responding in contempt, tried to twist her resting lips into an ugly sneer, scowling at them, baring her fangs at them—see anything besides the murky, gentle gray in her eyes, see past the consideration she displayed, attentively hiding her claws in curled fists.
Truly, I did all I could to imagine anything except kindness in her, letting Amelia’s words echo, over and over, painting the image, unveiling the true picture.
But I really just couldn’t.
To me, what I’m seeing now, that was all she was to me, and nothing more… despite knowing there was more, lurking, hiding… deep in the depths of her seemingly infinite kindness.
And there was only one way for me to really know…
With a rousing blink, Adalia finally noticed that a certain little somebody was nowhere to be found, then resembling close to a lost, helpless child herself, she slowly began spinning her head around in search.
Don’t really wanna worry her too much, the wisest thing to do was wave my hand, show her where I am. On the other hand, it was kinda adorable watching her flail around looking for me.
Hmm, a conundrum indeed.
Alas, with acute senses like hers, it didn’t long for her to spot me amongst the countless dozens, then shooting readily to her feet, she rocketed forward again, making a straight beeline for me.
Said it once, will say it twice—adorable.
“You… left…” She stated on approach, her keen sense of observation doing its work. “Do you not… want… to skate… any… more…?”
Was it just me or did I detect the faintest trace of disappointment hanging in the air? Well, well…
“Gonna take me a lifetime if I’m even gonna try and attempt to keep up with you,” I said, flashing her a smile to dissuade all qualms. “Gimme a few minutes to rest, I’ll join back in a while.”
Adalia blinked once, an eternity of deep pondering transpiring in a second, before with a jerk, she scooted herself closer, leaving the ice and stepping into the snow with me.
“No, really, I’m good, Adalia, you don’t have to join me,” I told her, raising both hands in refrain. “I rather you just keep going—give me something beautiful to admire while I recover. You’re something else, seriously…”
But to no avail, in quiet defiance, Adalia slowly laid herself down into the snow beside me.
“I… also… feel like… resting too…” She whispered, hand over knees, a blank resolute stare facing forward toward the bustling lake. “Then… after… we’ll skate… together… okay…?”
There it goes again, my head, my thoughts, trying in vain to find just what wasn’t there in the slightest. I don’t get it, I seriously cannot wrap my head around it at all.
This gentle, reserved and complete heart-melter of a person—a monster, a killer—a Matriarch feared and despised by so many countless many.
And then there was the biggest mystery, the most elusive question surrounding it all.
In spite of her stature, her nature—someone else, a human apart from me… had fallen in love with her.
Who?
How?
And why do you choose to never speak a single word of it, Adalia?
All these questions, all these intrusive secrets prying into my thoughts, could all be so easily solved. I know, if she knew I wanted to, all I had to do was simply ask.
I had to ask.
But…
“Sounds good to me,” I smiled, reaching a hand and pulling her closer toward me. “We’ll skate together.”
Not now.
Not yet.
For the time being, let us just have this.