Chapter 148: Wants and Won'ts

"Fuck off."

I didn't get a chance to mull things over. Didn't even have to spend a single second weighing over the options in my head. I know usually I'd be in quite a state having to be wedged between a rock and a hard place. 

There we choices prior to the one at hand that I came across that were far less drastic, far less of a monumental toll when it came to consequences. Those choices - I hesitated, I froze… never really knowing what was the wrong from the right.

Not this time though. This time, I didn't even hesitate, didn't even flinch.

"You're not getting her."

Jay obviously wasn't expecting me to shut him down so quick and blunt. I heard him sigh, scratching the side of his forehead with a rather aggressive finger.

"I really think you should take a second before giving your answer," He muttered. "It's kinda high stakes now, isn't it?"

"Had my second, got my answer," I promptly replied. "Hasn't changed one bit yet - fuck off, Jay."

"Look, you're obviously way in over your head here," He said, playing well a diplomatic tone. "You got the look of a guy who's hasn't a clue what the hell is happening. Aren't you feeling a little bit, you know… helpless right now?"

"Yeah," I continued to stare. "Your point?"

His scratching got a little bit harder. His right temple glowing a bright raw red. "All I want from you is her. I don't want anything else from you. You give her to me - you can go home like nothing's happened. You can walk away, I swear you and everybody else you know won't be affected by anything else I have planned in the future, I'll make sure of it."

"Oh, so you got other plans too?" I said, raising my eyebrows high up.

"Many."

"Blightfall just isn't enough, is it?"

"Only the beginning, actually."

I did not like the sound of that. My mind raced with grisly images, speculations of the pessimistic kind – price to pay for an overactive imagination. Haven't a clue what else he had up his sleeves, but it doesn't take a genius to figure out that things will only further escalate from here.

Jay needed to be stopped as soon as possible.

I swallowed. "I'm guessing you aren't gonna tell me what else you got planned?" 

"Please don't change the topic."

"That topic's already over and done with, Jay," I told him, stomping my words down hard with a tone of finality. "You're never going to be Ash's Master. Not now, not ever."

He stopped itching himself. The moment he did, danger started flashing in his eyes once again – he looked ready to pounce, his finger muscles flexing, twitching… I haven't a clue what the wrath of an enraged Magus would entail but if what I've seen so far was anything to go by… I don't think I'd be leaving here unscathed.

If I ever leave at all.

But he didn't move, he stayed. Didn't attack, just stayed. He shouted there, stayed there.

"I summoned her! I brought her here! If it weren't for me, you wouldn't even have gotten her in the first place! You had no right to - she doesn't belong to you!"

Couldn't help it. I shouted back. "And you think she does with you?!" 

That did it. 

Like a thunderclap, a tumultuous boom resounding from all around. Everything scattered everywhere. Cardboard boxes toppled onto their sides, their contents, endless stacks of papers, tangled wires, dirt, dust, all hurtling through the air like a whirlwind of waste – and Jay stood motionless there as the seething, glaring eye of the storm.

At long last, the Magus finally got me backing away.

"Yes," He muttered in a low whisper. "More than you could ever know."

Wisps of slivery light exuded from the palm of his hands, pulsating, growing ever brighter… it was nearly blinding.

"I thought Magi's aren't able to use their magic unless they have their book on them," I said, shielding my eyes.

Jay formed a little insidious half-smirk. "Shouldn't believe everything you read on the internet. You should know by now that wikipages can only get you so far on the know-hows."

Should have known… yeah. It'd just be too easy if I could just knock a book out of some magic man's hand and render him powerless, and who the hell would ever want anything in life to be easy going?

Certainly couldn't be me. 

"I'll ask again, alright? Not as nice this time," Jay stretched his arm, and pointed forward. "Give Eshwyln to me. Now."

"Now looks who's being unreasonable."

"I'm not playing anymore, you know!" He snapped, his tone in warning. "Done being the funny man here. If you don't do what I say, I will – "

"Will what?" I narrowed my lips. "Will what, Jay?"

Treaded a few feet backwards, but that doesn't mean I was gonna cower and shrivel. I knew the moment I let any signs of weakness show – this bespectacled magical dick will go all in knowing with confidence that I could break.

I had to show him that I couldn't. I had to show him nothing, in the smallest, minuscule chance that he will do nothing in return. Nothing was all I had.

And maybe that was all I needed.

"Would threatening your life be enough to motivate you?" He wiggled his hands. "It's become more and more of a tempting thought every time you open your mouth now, you know?"

I must be raving mad. Don't know why I did it, but I did. I actually chuckled at him, scoffed at him… could have stopped there but I didn't, I also had to open my mouth.

"Well, well, well," I said in a flat elongated tone. "Now who's being a bad guy all of the sudden?"

There was a bright flash, a stream of light – a strong wind, a shrill wind blowing, I felt myself stumble, felt something sharp, searing, then I felt it trickle.

Warmth, dribbling down my cheek.

Red, as droplets staining the stack of papers by my feet.

I did my best trying not to flinch, gnashing teeth, ignoring pain, forcing myself to continue staring forward, towards the man pointing a trembling, pulsating wisp of light squarely at my chest. 

"I don't want kill you if I don't have to," He said. "You're just an ordinary bystander caught in things far beyond your comprehension."

"So was everybody else that got caught in the Blight, Jay," I said, willing myself not to blink. "It's too bad they aren't here to hear you say your sorries."

"I did what I had to."

"No, you did what you want to."

"For fuck's – enough!" His voice boomed deafeningly. "I'll say it once more and then no more! You won't get another warning, you won't get another word! Give her to me… she is – she is all I have now, she is all I want. Why is that so difficult?"

There was a glint in his eyes, a shimmer… this time from beyond his cracked lenses. The shimmer turned to a droplet, falling to the ground with a single blink.

If anything, those small little teardrops falling was what caught me off guard the most. Moment was brief, those tears dried as soon they happened, but it happened. 

Instead of me showing weakness, it was him.

That little show of anguish… for the Elf that deemed him despicable, that sneers coldly just at the very sight of him alone. Ash's face stayed glaring, and clearly it was pained him to see that.

It's got me wondering… how deep did he really care?

"Don't say no," He blinked rapidly. "Or I'll kill you."

Sorry, Jay. You aren't the only that cares… in fact, I'll even argue to the fact that I might actually care more than you do – and I'll stand and fight on that hill till I die. Literally and figuratively.

But I'm not going to die here. You just showed me to that I won't – that you won't.

"You're not gonna kill me," I said, quietly, confidently. 

"I can kill you without even raising a finger!"

"But you won't!" my shout deflected his. "If you could you would have already. Long before we even got to this point. No, you need me, don't you? Like you said, I'm holding leverage. I'm the only one that can get you what you want, isn't that right?"

Jay's ferocity subsided, that anger which before kept growing in intensity had all but diminished… that expression that filled his face now was exactly what I needed to be – that quiet controlled sort of rage, one that showed when you had nothing in control.

I was very familiar with that expression. 

"And If I die, you won't be able to get it. You know Ash will never accept being your Master. You know that if you begged and plead all you want, she'll never listen to what you have to say. And if you kill me, if I die here… well, I'm sure Ash will react accordingly. She won't just hate you, she'll despise you. She won't stop until either she dies or you die - you don't want that - and that's exactly why you'll keep me alive."