CH 41.1

By the age of 35, Han Shi Yu’s life experience was legendary.

The day that this man was born, his cry sounded so much louder than any other child. It just so happened that it was raining heavily outside at that time too, so he was given the name ‘Shi Yu’1 by his father. However, Han Shi Yu has never seen this father of his ever since he was old enough to recognize people. Even the word ‘father’ was something he learned from his mother’s mouth.

As for children, what they don’t have are always considered sacred.

When he was just a child, Han Shi Yu had a fair and cute appearance. His eyes were dark yet bright, like sticking two chocolate beans on a plump soup dumpling.

During kindergarten, his teacher often smiled while teasing that he was a little flower thief2. Whichever class he passed by, then the girls from that class would fight for him.

But this child was really good at business since young.

Han Shi Yu was a picky eater. He didn’t like eating vegetables, especially green peppers. Every time it was the week where lunch was served with green peppers, the teachers would see him surrounded by a group of little girls.

They all softly said, “Can I hold your hand?”

“Of course you can,” Han Shi Yu said, “But you have to help me eat the green peppers.”

Their little heads nodded up and down, picking out the green peppers from his plate. Then, Han Shi Yu’s chubby little hand would grab theirs. Whoever ate the most, he held her hand the longest.

It came to a point where Han Shi Yu was ranked at the top of the list when it came to the ones who always managed to clean their plates.

The teachers: “……”

They started to focus on observing this little boy, in case he grew up to be a menace to society.

By the time he entered elementary school, he was still a minor character in his grade. He made a lot of friends and the ones that hung out with him would tell him stories. When they played for far too long and forgot to do their homework, they would be lectured by their fathers. Or when they had poor grades they he would be afraid to bring the test papers home.

Han Shi Yu felt his buttocks sting painfully by just listening to them. He was relieved, thinking he sure was lucky to not have a father.

But then, the one who accompanies them in playing games, carrying them on their shoulders to lift them up, such a person often appeared in essays. He would even do things like ‘carrying me who was having a fever on his back, running on foot for miles to get to the hospital’. This inspirational protagonist was also known as their fathers.

Little Han Shi Yu would often be alone in his envy, pondering on why he didn’t have a father.

Han Lang did not shy away from educating him on this matter. So when Han Shi Yu was in second grade, he was exposed to the cold phrase, ‘death’.

However, a child’s heart was filled with fairy tales. Rather than thinking he would never meet his father again, he preferred to believe that he had gone to a faraway place.

In junior high school, the kindergarten teacher’s prophecy seemed to have come true.

Han Shi Yu did not turn average, instead he grew up to become even more handsome. He was the kind of handsome where even by wearing a school uniform, he would attract butterflies over and during sports day or talent competitions, fans would easily swarm towards him.

At that time, Han Shi Yu would often sling his backpack sideways with his hands inside his pockets and a pair of white earphones in his ears. Whenever a shy girl stopped him on the road, he would take their love letters with stickers on them, seriously tucking it away in his arms and politely thank while rejecting them with, “I want to learn everything about you. I kept weighing my luck, calculating them even, but I just couldn’t figure it out even a little. I think it’s because you deserve someone better and my shallowness cannot compare to you in your best years.”

At the same time that he rejected others, he charmed them to death all over again. Young girls at that age were naïve and emotional, so they would shed a lot of tears while confiding their close friends, saying how they would never meet such a good person anymore in their whole life.

That’s right. The Han Shi Yu at that time was going through a period of time, called the ‘idiotic’ phase.

He was aware of just how handsome and popular he was. This kind of self-awareness only added more fuel to the flames of his idiotic act of pretending to be cool.

At that time, he liked to read all sort of random things. Famous authors’ books, online books as well. In the second year of junior high school, he fell into a youthful, ambiguous mood even though he had yet to date anyone.

After “breaking up”, he became obsessed with Osamu Dazai, creating an account on QQ and loudly discussed all sorts of discourses online, fighting injustice and the such. Whenever he ran into anything unpleasant, he would post a message, sighing, “this is my last pursuit of mankind”.

Or maybe, “I never think about how to kill others. Death will only bring about a scarier opponent”. Hence, gaining a hundred or so likes from people.

When Han Lang found out, she thought about it for some time before arranging for her son to work as a parcel boy in her company.

Didn’t you feel apologetic for others?

Go work as a delivery machine then.

After experiencing two days of relentless, cruel beating from society.

Han Shi Yu suddenly realized that being alive was actually such a great thing.