Chapter 23 - If the husband can have his rights, then is it wrong if the wife takes a step towards hers?

|Innaya|

Sometimes it's not the outcome we are worried about, but the path leading to that outcome. There are times when we want nothing more than to avoid some conversations more than anything. It is because we know, that it's going to be very uncomfortable. The reason behind it, is not the topic itself but the unwillingness of conveying the emotions in the words.

Same, was the case with me as I tried to find any excuse that could save me from whatever Eshan, had on his mind. His eyes spoke volumes. The seriousness in them had me worrying for the reason behind the sudden change in his behaviour.

His hand left my wrist ever so slowly. I wondered whether that was intentional, as his fingers brushed across my skin softly as if they were almost reluctant to part. His fingers uncurled my fingers that unconsciously had curled around the vermilion box and were holding it tightly as if drawing strength from it.

I know it was fruitless to go against him. I couldn't. Just his glance was enough to create ripples in my calm demeanor and now he was touching. I stood no chance of retaliating. Transfixed I watched, as he opened the lid and pinching the vermilion he filled my partition with it.

For the split second his eyes softened or was it my imagination, I did not know. He leaned forward and subconsciously, I stepped back where back of my legs collided with dressing table, halting my further movement.

Eshan further leaned, his head almost near my face, all the while his eyes never moving away from me and even though my eyes were downcast, I was all aware of his minute actions. My breath hitched as the morning incident replayed in my mind. Along with the heat in my face, the anxiousness started rising in my heart, nervously I clutched fabric of my dress in my fist as my teeth began its assault on my lower lip, biting it. With the present close proximity between us, the smell of him coming straight from the shower with the body wash of musk fragrance, I felt my breathing laboured.

"May I know my mistake, Sweetheart?" Eshan whispered almost nearly in my ear with his husky voice.

I had to force out those words as he remained in his position that was excessively close to me to think without stuttering. "What mistake are you talking about?"

Eshan's right hand snaked around my side almost brushing past my waist. He almost caged me with his arms on both sides and his face on my left shoulder. We were so close but not touching actually. "The very same one, that has made my beautiful wife angry."

My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, as whatever he was saying did not make any sense to me. "I am not angry," I replied, trying to keep my voice from wavering as my heart fluttered at the endearments he used– first sweetheart then beautiful!

"Yes, you are." Trust him to be stubborn in his opinions.

"I am not," I stated with little annoyance.

"Yes, you are."

Why wouldn't he let go?

"No-" I resisted the urge of smacking him with something as irritation started building up.

"Yeah right," his mocking voice had my attention, "And pigs can fly!".

His further sentence confirmed my doubt that indeed, he was just prolonging our conversation to get to the main point. " If you are not angry then why are you avoiding me?"

My breath stuck in my throat as he asked the question I was hoping he wouldn't ask. I sighed, before I answered, "I am not avoiding you."

"Sweetheart, what's the problem?" His left hand travelled to my right hand and knotted our fingers together. He leaned slightly back so that he was looking directly at me. "Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?" his vulnerable voice was almost pleading me for explanation.

"No." I instantly answered. Indeed, it was not his fault.

"Innaya, look at me."

Then I realized, in the whole conversation I had not once looked at him as if the floor was much more interesting.

"What's wrong?" He led us to the couch that was beside the dressing table and he sat on his knees on the floor in front of me after making me sit down. "Nothing," I answered as I shook my head.

'Please let it go, Eshan. Please, let it go.'

"Oh, I get it. You are feeling homesick." He cupped my face in his big, warm palm as he made me look at him.

"It's nothing like that." The answer came naturally, as it was true.

"Then what it is, Tesoro?" He questioned softly as if he was talking to some child. When I chose to remain silent, he continued, "Ok leave it. Now listen to me carefully and tell me honestly. Do you think it is wrong on my part to be physically attracted towards my wife?"

What the hell, he was talking about? Was morning incident not enough to embarrass me? Why God, why you add more people in 'Embarrass Innaya Club'?

"Just answer honestly, Sweetheart." His voice brought me back from my complaining session to God.

I just nodded negatively. What could I possibly answer, to that question?

"If I feel like touching my wife- intimately or not, and I acted on my instinct, then am I wrong?"

What was possibly wrong with him today? I wanted to release my palms from his hold and put on his forehead for checking any signs of fever yet his eyes kept me glued to my place without moving. I just nodded in negative again before softly whispering, "If she has no problems then it's not wrong- intimately too."

"Do you see the husband as the one holding the upper hand in marriage?"

'Are we playing 20 questions today?'

"No, they are equal." It was true. I believed in equality. I answered him that honestly, "The wife is equal to her husband in every aspect. For any relationship to be successful there is need of two human beings who are equal, not dominant, and submissive."

"If they are equal, then both must have equal rights, right?" He again fired his nest question.

"Right. But why are you asking me all this?" perplexed I asked him ignoring how his thumb was softly caressing my face.

"If the husband can have his rights, then is it wrong if the wife takes a step towards hers?"

I was utterly baffled the way his questions were coming. I understood he wanted to convey something or he was addressing some point, but I did not get what it was. "What is that you are hinting at?" I searched in his eyes for something, for anything that could appease my curiosity of reason behind his sudden husband-wife relationship equality questionnaire.

"That you are my wife." He chuckled.

"Has it come to today's headlines?" I sarcastically probed. Here he was being weird and now he had the nerve to chuckle.

"It will if you want." His chuckle turned into a gentle smile that held the significant meaning. He was giving me the choice of announcing our relation in public or not. I did not want to continue this discussion. I had enough for the day.

"Eshan, I am leaving. I am already late," I conveyed to him, avoiding his gaze before I tried to get up when he held me back at my place.

"Don't make excuses." I closed my eyes tightly to gain some patience to deal with the stubborn-headed husband of mine.