Chapter 124 - Do you think I deceived you?

|Innaya|

Something was breaking inside me. I had no idea what, but there was that empty feeling crawling on me. I shuddered with suppressed emotional turmoil boiling inside me.

I could simply not understand why such things had to happen to me. Just yesterday, I trusted Eshan and shared something which I had not shared with anyone. I thought he deserved it. I was not sure anymore.

I did not expect him to do so. I would have eventually married him but why they had to lie? I hated liars, and my family was very well informed about it. Had they thought of consequences when I got to know the truth? Were they concerned about how it would affect me?

I felt like pulling my hair. Was I so unworthy of love and happiness? Something or other would happen and destroy my happiness. Even if it was for a day, I started feeling content, things would fall apart.

I did not blame anyone but myself. However, I could not help but think otherwise now. Had I not married Eshan because of deceit they did to me, things would have happened differently.

I would still have gotten the chance to complete my master's. I would not have missed my opportunity of enrolling for a master's degree. I would still have been at my home. Somehow, I would have helped mom with her condition. Those painful two months of separation would not have happened.

Karan would not have kidnapped me. I would not have faced Sahil's craziness that reminded me of my father. I would not have met that woman who was the reason of my miserable life. I would not have to bear so much pain.

Things really would have been different. Instead of rushing me to marry a stranger at that time, I could have gotten a chance to know him. The courtship period would have brought us closer, and things would have slowly fallen in place.

However, was there any point in crying over spoilt milk?

No.

It was my destiny. I could not change the past. But... It hurt. Thinking about everything, I started to feel awful with every passing second. The last five months started flashing before my eyes and I could not help but clutch my hair in fists. I did not care if it was hurting or not, for the pain in my heart was much more unbearable.

I blew out a breath as I scrunched up my face. Wiping my face with my palm I straightened up my back.

When I opened my eyes, I had a determination in them. I wanted answers. I wanted them from my husband. I wanted them from the man who said he loves me, he loved me for so long.

I wanted to know what he thought of me. Why he did what he did?

What kind of satisfaction or result did he get from agreeing to my mother's plan?

I needed to know his side of the story. I could have kept everything to me or perhaps I could have avoided Eshan till the time my mind regained its sanity. I knew I was angry, and I was hurt too.

The better choice would have been to keep myself isolated until I could talk without lashing out or saying bitter words. I knew it. I had learned it hard way. However, I was worried too. What if the past repeating itself?

I did not wish to have a repeat of last time. Confronting Eshan had led to a deep misunderstanding between us. Who knew if he thought I was doubting him? Did he not say something along those lines in that house, he did.

There was that fear too in my heart. I could not bear if he took things in the wrong way.

"What are you thinking so hard?" Eshan's voice came from behind me. He looked like he finally decided to get out of his study and his depressed mood because of Arjun's departure.

I did not turn though. My face would have given away my turmoil. And, I wanted to think things through before coming to any conclusions.

"What to cook for us," I answered as I placed my feet on the ground. After sitting for so long they had fallen asleep, so I shook them to get rid of numbness.

"Are you sure, sweetheart?" Eshan's suspiciously asked.

I did not realize when he came near me, I only knew it when he sat on the arm of the sofa chair I was occupying. I stiffened unconsciously. I did not mean to, but it happened so suddenly that I could not stop myself. I just hoped that Eshan should not have noticed.

Who was I deceiving? He was Eshan. Nothing escaped from his eyes. His right hand came down at my chin. Grasping my chin with his fingers, he raised my head in the direction. My heart thudded violently in my chest as his eyes observed me carefully.

With every moment passing under his scrutiny I could not help but feel conscious.

Eshan leaned over me, and I reflexively leaned back. I saw his eyes narrowing down. "What's bothering you?"

I shook my head a little too quickly. "Nothing."

"Is this about what Arjun said? Do you think I deceived you?" Eshan asked as his hand left my chin, and he stood up.

I stayed silent. I did not know what to answer him. Was not that what I thought? Those were exact worries in my heart. What I failed to put in words were the questions swirling in my mind.

On noticing my silence, Eshan got his answer. I watched his face falling and his eyes lowering to the ground. Fortune this time took the initiative and approached Eshan, nudging at his legs.

A small smile appeared on his face. Eshan walked around my chair and sat down on the rug with his back resting against the sofa just across from where I was seating.

Whether he did it intentionally or not, but he sat quite far from me. His little act of creating distance between us caused a flicker of pain to erupt in my chest, slowly transforming into a fear.

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