Chapter 126 - I'll Always Find You!

|Innaya|

Eshan and I, shifted to the dining hall after he took out some toys and dog food from that bag, and placed it before Fortune. Once he found Fortune getting busy with it, he had silently asked me to follow him.

I poured water in a glass after we sat down. I took slow gulps and stared at Eshan who had pulled his mobile and was doing something on it.

With every sip of water going inside me, I felt myself slowly calming down. I did not realize how thirsty I was until I finished three glasses of water.

"Do you need some more?" Eshan's voice caught me by surprise and then only I noticed that the glass jar was empty.

"Umm...no, thank you!" I blushed at my lost self. I quickly placed down the glass in my hands. "Do you need? I'll just bring it," I said as I stood up.

Eshan's hand came to rest on my wrist and I stopped in my tracks.

"Sit down. Let's hear first what you have to say. I don't need anything," he answered. 

"Umm... Oh, yes." I sat back in my place, putting my hands on the table.

Again, I found myself feeling lost with just a small exchange of ours.

"Here," Eshan said as he handed me his mobile.

Frowning, I wondered what he was trying to do. Wordlessly, I took his mobile and looked down to see the screen.

***

Mom::>

Eshan, I know I'm rushing you, and we're lying to Innu. I wouldn't have done this if I had any choice. The sad part is, I don't have any. Life had always refused to give me choices. I don't wish to see my daughter suffering because of me.

She thinks I don't know what she has gone through. Somewhere she thinks it's all my fault. She isn't wrong. It is my fault that she had to suffer.

My sweet child needs someone. I hope you can take her away from this city, from us. My poor child has always suffered because of me. For once, I want to do something good for her.

You promised my father, didn't you? It's a perfect time to fulfill that promise. You need to marry her and take her away. She wouldn't be able to handle one more shock. After my father's death, she is slowly sinking back in the depression.

Her grandpa was everything for her. She was closest to him. And, after his untimely and sudden exist from our life, my daughter is lost.

Right now, I don't want to tell her about my heart condition. It will only worsen her. Four months later my surgery is scheduled.

You'll have to make it before that. Actually, I have thought about the perfect excuse. You bring your family to our place and I'll inform Innu, that the priest said we don't have any auspicious dates for two years after these two weeks.

I'll make her agree to this marriage. If worst comes to worst, I'll take mom's help.

One more request I have to make. Don't tell her about this. She wouldn't be able to accept that all of us lied to her, hid things from her. You might not be aware but she hates liars.

We all know about it. She might cut all ties if she gets to know about it. We'll tell her about this only if I recover. Until then take care of my daughter.

My father trusted you, and I'm going to trust his judgment.

Thank you for loving my daughter. She needs someone who would love her unconditionally and accept her the way she is, without trying to change her.

She needs someone who isn't like me. Someone who will won't burden her and ruin her life. She deserves all the love and care.

I don't want her to end up like me. I want her to enjoy her life to the fullest. Take care of my child, don't hurt her. She has shed countless tears for so many years. I wish her to spend the rest of her life with that beautiful smile on her face.

You'll look after her right?

***

My eyes teared up as I read my mother's message. I brought my closed up fist near my lips to suppress my sobs.

I clutched his mobile. Lifting my teary eyes, I looked at Eshan. I could not fathom the expression in his dark eyes as he watched me silently all the while. I did not know how long he was watching me.

All along I thought my mother did not bother herself about my issues. All along I thought she was a selfish woman who kept herself above everyone. All along I thought she had no regret, maybe she had but she did not show me. Perhaps she had tried, but I don't remember much.

After that incident in my childhood, I had built a shell around myself, where no one but my grandpa had an entry. I did not have memories of my mother. She stayed away from me, perhaps because I did not allow anyone to get close to me.

However, after reading her message to Eshan, I could not help but reconsider all my opinions about her. It was not easy for her, too. Honestly, I did not blame her every time, but there were some times when I did.

Eshan sighed as he stood up. Covering the little distance between us and before he could say something, I almost threw myself at him. Circling my hands around his waist I hugged him as my tears fell endlessly.

"I received mom's message about a week before our engagement. She had sent this to me when she couldn't get to me. I didn't know what to do. The situation was totally unexpected. I wanted to talk to you, tell you all the things but... Mom was right too. We couldn't figure out how you'll react," Eshan said as he caressed my hair and patted my back.

After listening to him, I could not help but feel more guilty for thinking wrongly about them. That's why we should think carefully before reaching to any conclusion. I couldn't be more grateful for not acting on my impulse. My word would have caused more hurt. In anger, I would often say or do something which caused me regrets later. This time though in my heart I felt wronged, I held in my emotions.

"For those six months after grandpa left, I had seen how much you were affected. I saw you sitting in that park... Lost. You would stare at nothing. You wouldn't talk to anyone. I caught you crying while looking at the sky as if you were waiting for grandpa to return. And, the day before we got engaged..." Eshan paused before he asked, "Do you remember what happened that day?"

I registered his words and it took me a long time to recall what he was asking. I stressed my brain, but I still could not recall it. I shook my head, but I forgot my head was pressed against his midriff and accidentally rubbed his stomach. Eshan's hand in my hair stopped moving. I might have made him uncomfortable with my mindless action because I knew he was very ticklish.

I stiffened, but Eshan resumed his actions immediately. Perhaps he didn't want me to see his discomfort.

"Hmm... I see. That day, you were about to get knocked over by a car when you left the park. It was grandpa's birthday and you were so upset that you didn't even realize where you were going, if not for the presence of mind of the driver, things would have turned ugly. I was late in reaching you..." his voice cracked as if he was revisiting that moment.

"Thankfully, you were saved." The relief in his voice was palpable. I could feel it. "That incident firmed my resolve of bringing you in my life. I wanted to be around you, with every right. I didn't wish to be stranger in your life," Eshan explained as his hand slid down my head to my neck and he pulled my head back.

His dark, intense eyes bore into mine as he leaned down. His breath caressed my tear-drenched face. I shivered under his intense gaze. I didn't know why despite staying with him for so long, I would feel butterflies in my stomach every time he looked at me that way.

"That legal right, authority, to stand beside you, to hold your hands. I wanted that. I wanted to be that shoulder where you could cry out all your grievances. I wanted to share your sorrows and help you. I wanted you to know that you have someone by your side," Eshan whispered against my lips.

Each and every word of his straight away hit at my heart. I felt the sincerity in his words.

"Well, if you want to blame someone, then blame me. If you think I deceived you, then be it. All I would say is even if I were given the choice of changing my decision, I won't. For me, you are the most important person in my life. For your happiness, if you think that was deception, then it doesn't matter to me. I am willing to commit countless deception then. I can only apologize to you for the pain this news caused you."

I could only stare as Eshan continued. His words were making me feel guilty and at the same time were warming my heart.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "Don't cry. I don't want to see you shed more tears now. Say whatever you want to say but without crying. Do you get me? If you continue crying this way, you are only going to make yourself sick." He wiped my face with his white handkerchief.

I nodded my head almost instantly. From his talks, I gathered his and mom's intentions. They just thought they were looking after me. Maybe, after some time, I would explain to her that she didn't have to.

"I don't need your deception, even if it's for my happiness. I would rather want YOU to be the one telling me things. If it's a bad one then be there by my side and help me deal with it. Don't hide things from me, I'm not that fragile. I'm grown up and I can handle things, and if I am unable to, then I have you. I'll always find you," I replied to him, emphasizing my point.

And, to prove my point, I raised my head and met the lips on the man who was my husband. The man who from so long only wanted my happiness. The man who looked after me from distance and yet knew me better than myself.

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