| Eshan |
"Hug me, please."
Something sharply twisted in my heart at her desperate plea. And that was when I realized how close I was to her. I wasn't supposed to be that close to her as per her own once uttered words but I had no heart of leaving her at that moment when she looked on the verge of breaking down.
How could I do that to her? How could I do that to my Innaya?
She was still my Innaya. Irrespective of what had happened, what had gone wrong, she was still... still my Innaya.
I loosened my hold around her back, held her hands and put them around my neck while I brought her close enough where I could feel her heartbeat and I knew, she could hear mine.
Her body was still trembling and I could not decipher what had triggered it this time. A part of me constantly went towards Ayesha but I just saw no reason how she would trigger Innaya.
Ayesha was a sweet and simple girl. Too sweet to hurt Innaya in any way.
"For how long? For how long are you going to keep it away from me, Innaya?" I gently stroked her hair, as I pushed her more which I had stopped doing since the time she got a panic attack because of that last.
I hadn't probed her to get any information from that episode of hers.
That didn't mean it didn't affect me. It was not just affecting me but our relationship. We were no longer what we used to be. Innaya was no longer was she used to be, so was not I.
I could not help but get deeply saddened.
"Don't talk about it, please. Just hold me. Just hold me closer to you, Eshan."
Despite all the differences we had, my lips broke into a smile and I hid her in my arms.
After so long, she was this close to me. After so damn long.
I had missed her.
I had missed comforting her.
I had missed holding her.
I had missed stroking her hair.
I had missed smelling her hair.
I had missed everything about us.
It felt so good to have it all back even if it was temporary.
It felt so good to catch up with the hugs we missed.
Gosh. I absolutely loved this woman and I knew she loved me more than she had ever loved anyone.
And yet we weren't there where we should be.
Having her still shaking, I decided to let it be like I have been for the past one month. I did not know when she was going to put faith in me and tell me the truth.
The truth that she had been hiding for so long.
The truth why she had accepted to be at fault when she had done nothing.
The truth why she had asked me not to touch her.
The truth why she had grown distant from me.
It was killing me day by day.
Watching her pale figure, knowing that she missed my warmth and me holding her had been some of the toughest things that I ever had to do in life.
I didn't know what it was that was holding her back from opening up to me.
But whatever that it was, it had been poking in our relationship and if I didn't stop it on time, it will end up causing a huge hole in our relationship... the hole that nothing would be able to fill up.
All of a sudden, I felt my T-shirt getting wet. Damn it. She was crying.
I thought a lot about confronting her but knowing she would cry more if I did that, I just let her cry as much as she wanted.
For a fact, I knew that she had been suffering more than I had been. Far more than that.
"Why did you leave?"
I heard her mumble while sobbing. When did I leave? I was confused about what she was asking.
"Had you not left... they wouldn't have..."
"Innaya?" I tried pulling myself apart only to see that she had fallen asleep and was talking in sleep.
I let out a sigh and picked her up. After placing her on the bed, I sat beside her, covering her with the comforter.
"Why did you leave?"
She was still mumbling. The same line.
"I am here, Innaya. I am never leaving you."
I brought her hand closer to my heart. What had happened a month ago? I had tried finding out a lot but nothing... I could get nothing that could lead me to why it had happened what had happened.
"I... love you."
She shifted on her place, swiftly grabbing my hand.
"I love you too, Innaya. I love you too." Bending forward, I dropped a quick kiss on her forehead.
"Eshan."
I stole a last glance at Innaya before I went out, hearing Ayesha's call.
"Yes, Ayesha?" I closed the door behind me as I moved forward to attend
Ayesha who was standing just in front of our room. "Do you need anything?"
"No. Is everything okay? I mean, Innaya left the breakfast and then you too," Ayesha was voicing out what she found weird and I felt trapped. What was I supposed to tell her?
"Is everything not well between you and Innaya?"
She put forward another question when I was still struggling to answer the previous one that she had asked.
"No.. I mean there is no problem. I don't know what gave you that idea." I tried shrugging it away but she didn't look convinced.
"Have you settled down in your room?" The changing topic seemed the best that I could do at that time.
"Oh, yes. The room is lovely. Thank you, Eshan. I will leave as soon as I find a hotel."
With that, she hugged me. My eyes went back to look at the locked door behind which Innaya was sleeping.
"Um... it's no problem. You can stay here for as long as you want." I removed her hands from my neck before I excused myself from there.
***