Chapter Volume 5 51

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When I went to the pasture again, the elves there still showed me respect as per my first visit as I was Lucia's husband - at least, I still was at the time. They weren't informed of what happened. They knew a homicide happened, but not the part about elves starting another revolution.

I didn't need to infiltrate or anything of the sort to rescue Queen Sisi. I just let them know that I needed to take Queen Sisi. The elves pulled her up as if they were picking up a doll without a moment of hesitation. They even kindly asked if I needed to have her cleaned up. She stunk and was dirty, but speed was of the essence since undue delay may bring trouble.

They had no intention of giving Queen Sisi new clothes. Hence, I had to wrap her up in a woollen blanket and stuff her into the rear of a horse carriage that I found. The carriage should've been one that humanity used when they attacked the elves. There was still a bunch of stuff inside. Queen Sisi probably didn't know what happened yet. She curled up in the blanket and didn't move. I didn't tell her to come out.

When I passed by the river, I scooped out the small bottle I hid the other day.

So many dangerous things happened during my time in the elven lands. I was at risk of dying at any moment. Lucia and her brother kept on putting me through trials. I left feeling totally relaxed when I went in as through I was walking into a minefield. The elven guards didn't question me when they saw me. They didn't even check the interior of the carriage.

I slowly crossed through the forest. The flames from the town came into sight. I could see the light at home, yet it oddly felt distant to me. I left for just one week. Actually, it hadn't even been a week, yet I felt as though I had never been there.

I said that I didn't love Lucia, but on the way home, all I ever thought about was Lucia, her smile and her final tears. I knew I had to do it. I had to break her heart to cripple her judgement. In the end, I regretted it somewhat. I couldn't find it in me to smile triumphantly when I recalled Lucia's distressed look.

I hurt Lucia. I hurt an innocent girl, one who was so kind, naïve and had even helped me for the sake of the woman I liked. Lucia never did anything wrong by me. She jovially welcomed the bliss, but I took advantage of her naivety, and I did it for nothing more than my own woman. I didn't hurt Lucia for the greater good or justice but just to satisfy my own selfish desire. I did it just because I liked Veirya. I heartlessly crushed a naïve girl's heart just for my own sake. My behaviour disgusted me more than lying to any man.

Lucia's crying face and the way her body shivered still made it hard for me to breathe. Humans shouldn't have a memory. The memory only incited misery for me. Never had I been so convinced that my methods were wrong and questioned if I had a better strategy. In reality, however, there couldn't have been a better method.

It was impossible for everyone to hold hands, not hurt anyone and merrily enjoy a new life. If my life could be as stupid as those novels written with their ding dongs, my life wouldn't have been so tragic from beginning to end. I kept on hurting others but then had to keep depending on others.

My mission was complete. I promised Veirya to rescue Queen Sisi, and rescue her I did. Lucia wouldn't have any fantasies about me again. She'd concentrate on fulfilling her duty as the Elven Queen. Humanity's Queen would end the war when she returned. Though humanity's foundation wasn't damaged, it would take some time to recover. During that time, I doubted humanity would try anything bigger.

I succeeded; it was a complete success. I successfully pulled off what was deemed impossible. Nobody rescued the human prisoners, but I rescued Queen Sisi from the elves. Lucia wouldn't pursue us. The war between humanity and elves, thus, ended there. Veirya wouldn't go to the elven forest, while Queen Sisi could return to continue her reign. The seemingly impossible perfect ending was achieved through my efforts. However, I didn't feel the joy of triumph. I, to the contrary, felt somewhat sad.

I didn't know why I felt down. I could brag to Veirya with my chest up and might even be able to see Veirya's gaze of worship when she realised that I was a man who could do what she couldn't, a real man. Nevertheless, I had no desire to tell anyone about what happened.

There was nothing gloat-worthy about pushing a girl into despair and tears, yet not even wiping her tears. I wouldn't feel guilty in any capacity if I fooled a man. After seeing Lucia's blissful smile and then her final crying expression, I didn't want to share what happened with anyone. I was victorious. How I achieved the victory, however, was nothing to brag about. I didn't love Lucia, but I didn't want to hurt her, either.

I suddenly felt something move on my leg. I looked down to see a white and black small head poke out from the woollen blanket. The walking bird noticed he was leaving the forest. That must've been why he was confused why he had to leave. I suddenly remembered that walking birds were considered an elven species. I thought he wouldn't survive humanity's environment. I wanted to keep a memento, but I didn't want to kill a walking bird for nothing.

I got off the carriage. The boundary line segregating elves and humans was right in front. There were no pursuers behind me. That said, there was nobody to welcome me back, either. Either way, I couldn't care less.

I placed the small walking bird on the ground and caressed his head. He looked at me, puzzled. He probably didn't understand what I was doing. I wasn't stupid enough to speak to an animal. I stood up and headed back to the carriage, but I immediately heard taps on the ground and him hollering, "Goo, goo, goo". I turned around to see the chubby walking bird hastily run over to me with a wobble. He bit my trousers and refused to let go. Apparently, he didn't understand why I wanted to abandon him…

"But… but… please… please… don't leave me. Don't leave me… You're… the only one… I can trust now… Don't leave me… You're… you're… you're the only one I have now…."

I suddenly recalled when Lucia knelt on the ground and gripped my clothes. The walking bird behaved in the exact same manner. I crouched down and tightly hugged the little fellow. He responded with, "Goo, goo," seemingly reproaching me for abandoning him. He gently brushed my face with hiss soft fur. Voice quiet, I said, "I'll take you home. I'll take you… home… I won't abandon you. I'll never abandon you again…"

My voice didn't contain any sobs for I knew that I could no longer cry.