Chapter 471

From the beginning of being sensible, I seem to have been trying to please the people around me. I'm afraid that if I don't like it one day, I will be sent back to the welfare home. So I have to work hard to make myself smart and nice.

I remember when I was in primary school, I played with Shaoze. Shaoze bullied me. I pushed him down on impulse. He burst into tears and attracted his mother.

His mother took Shaoze in her arms, coax him and asked why?

Shaoze pointed at me and did not speak.

I can't forget that Shaoze's mother looked at me with anger and disgust.

That look made me have nightmares and worry about being sent back.

Fortunately, there was no such thing in the end, but I also understood that I could not make trouble because I could not afford the cost of my mistakes.

So more and more serious study, later Shaoze how to bully me, I dare not fight back, also do not respond.

Gradually, Shaoze also felt that I was boring, did not provoke me.

When Shaoze and I both grew up and admitted that people around me praised how good Shaoze was, I sneered in my heart.

So no matter what he called my cousin, I couldn't have a good feeling for him.

Because there is no foundation in primary school, I can't keep up. My mother always asks me to go to bed when it's time. I'm afraid that I can't get up late the next day, and they have to go to work and ignore me.

I kept reading in my bed until I fell asleep.

Later, the eyes were damaged in this way, and the vision was corrected by laser surgery.

So in my memory, I have been studying hard, getting good grades, getting awards, and making my parents proud of me.

After all, it's because I don't feel secure.

Because I'm not their own daughter, I'm their adopted child. If I can't make them like me, they can send me back at any time.

Before I went to university, I had always been holding this idea and living with fear.

In high school, I was in the same school as Gu mo.

It was my happiest time.

Secretly like a person, and dare not let him know, and then quietly pay attention to, like silently.

So when I went with Gu mo later, I often couldn't believe it was true.

Afraid of all this is just a dream I had!

And dreams will wake up one day.

In the end, it turns out that it's a dream, but it's been done for a long time, so long that I think it's true.

Gu Mo's ideal at that time was to be an explorer. His family was rich and he was the youngest in the family. He could do anything he wanted. He was so willful that people envied him.

In order to become an explorer, he has been training his physical strength. He will also take me camping to climb mountains, teach me swimming, and plan to take me to Liandao to teach me how to dive.

But before we could go to Chenglian Island, we broke up.

In that year, he did not finish his studies, and his most beloved brother died in an accident.

After receiving the call, he made a reservation for the nearest ticket and rushed back.

I didn't arrive at anything except my passport, wallet and mobile phone, but I still remember to ask me if I would like to ask him to go back together.

At that time, I agreed without hesitation or reflection.

Maybe that's the most impulsive thing I've ever done in my life.

After I arrived at Gu's home, I really knew how rich the Gu Mo family was, and how far away we were.

At that time, although Gu Mo took me to look back on my home, he had already neglected me, because his family members were in a mess, and he needed to stand up and preside over the overall situation.

Imagine a dandy who once only knew how to eat, drink and have fun. One day, he was forced to stand in the front to bear all the hardships.

At that time, I didn't notice it at all, because I was too busy myself.

After a few days at home, a nanny came to tell me that the old lady wanted to see me.

At that time, I was very young and wanted to please the woman who might be my mother-in-law.

In fact, she was waiting to pour cold water on me.

When I met Mrs. Gu, she spoke to me in a calm tone. It was not like she had just lost her son. She seemed to have no emotional ups and downs, but it made me feel cold.

Later, she finally told me to the point that

she did not agree with me and Gu mo.

This sentence pulled me down from the cloud.

I tried to reason with her and defend my love with Gu mo.

But the fact is naive and ridiculous.

She has investigated me and knows everything about me.

I know that my parents are not my own parents. I know that I have been sold by human traffickers several times. I think that my life is not innocent and I am not worthy of her precious little son.When I was excited, I argued with her.

But later I realized that what I did was of no use, except to make myself look more down-to-earth.

Her threat finally came into effect.

I'm afraid to let Gu Mo know my past, I'm afraid that he dislikes my eyes, and even can't stand his initiative to break up.

So I mentioned it first.

I told Gu Mo that I wanted to break up. I couldn't accept his family background, and I didn't think I loved him so much. We were not suitable.

Then, regardless of his request, he went back to school alone.

At that time, I straightened my spine and felt that I had done a very backbone thing, even though my heart was crying for blood.

Later I realized that I had defended my pitiful pride and lost my love forever.

In the next few years, I studied and worked like a zombie, trying to make myself more and more excellent. I had thought about it countless times. When I stood in front of Gu Mo one day, I could say with pride,

I can match him too!

And when I finally threw away all my pride one day and came back to find him, I realized that it was too late!

Gu Mo got married less than half a year before I returned home!

I met the bride at the classmate party. She was a very young, sweet and simple girl.

I never knew Gu Mo would like this type of girl.

But in fact, it's Mrs. Gu.

It turns out that in the years I left, everything is no longer what I thought it was.

In fact, when I proposed to break up at the beginning, I thought that Gu Mo might not turn back.

But at that time, I was only concerned about my own dignity and pride, and could not care so much.

In retrospect, I realize that my dignity and pride are completely based on inferiority.

In Gu Mo's most difficult time, I didn't join hands with him, but abandoned him.

So even if the heart is unwilling, but there is nothing to do.

The last bit of dignity can only maintain me. I try not to disturb their lives.

In this world, there are a lot of things that can be done over again, but some things have only one chance. If you miss them, they will no longer exist.

If the time can go back, no matter what happens, I will not leave Gu Mo half a step, even if the final outcome or break up, at least I have worked hard for us together, although we can not get married, there is regret, but at least not regret.

But now I go on my way alone, not with oujing, because I don't want to covet his warmth and miss him. I don't want to have any intersection with Gu Mo any more!

Maybe one day I can put everything down and start again!

And now I can only choose to be brave and strong!

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