"Anko," Kurenai calls mildly scandalized as she slaps her friend's shoulder to stop her from admiring her body. It's the afterglow she still feels from the tip of her ebony locks to her dainty toes. Kurenai hadn't realized how relaxed she was walking, possibly even sexy, until Anko said so.
Anko chuckles and grins hungrily at the raven-haired beauty. "Relax, I'm not hitting on you... unless you want me to-"
"Anko," Kurenai admonishes. Vividly recalling a couple of nights Kurenai experimented with Anko. Though fun to be sure, they both ultimately know their preferences.
"Alright, alright," Anko concedes, throwing her palms up in surrender. "Anyway, I was scared you might be depending on the training, you know? Using a mask, putting on a brave face while you bottle it all up. We both know how bad that can end up, but I'm not getting that vibe from you at all."
"I don't know what to tell you," Kurenai answers honestly. It's not as if she can confess how incredibly good her body feels after hours of sex with a genin. She still has trouble accepting it herself.
It's not that Kurenai is free of her agonizing heartache, or able to stop the thoughts of Asuma from entering her mind every ten seconds, but she knows it won't conquer her. It's not unlike drowning for forty seconds and breathing for twenty. Terribly agonizing though it may be, it won't kill her.
"I do hurt, Anko. I am hurting but I also feel like it won't last forever, you know what I mean?"
"Of course," Anko answers. "It means there's a shelf life on that self-imposed agony and that's a relief in and of itself."
"I have hope it won't last forever," Kurenai admits, woefully, wondering what that says about her love. She's lost herself in the pleasures of the flesh to forget about the suffering ache of her broken heart. Does tossing aside the pain for pleasure mean she also tossed her ability to love again?
Kurenai feels that's an answer she won't learn without time and opportunity. Her emotions are still a wreck but her body is tingling and that's all it is for now. "Without that silver lining, I'd well, I guess I would be an emotional wreck with a mountain of snot-tissues all over the place."
"I'm sorry this happened to you babe," Anko sympathetically asserts, wrapping her arm around Kurenai's slim waist. "But I'm glad you're not off the rails bat-shit crazy. Bitches like that annoy the fuck out of me. Like they can't survive without their man!
Fucking bullshit."
She, herself was offered to serve the village in that capacity. Kurenai turned it down, though she knows Anko did it for a number of years. It's how the curvaceous kunoichi found her love and talent for torture.
In the end, Kurenai knows it's not a matter of the heartfelt intimacy, but of guilty cravings of the flesh.
Intellectually, it may be better to go without such carnal hunger, but she's not hurting anyone, there is a clear benefit to the village, and more importantly, she can forget about Asuma and her hurt, if only momentarily.
Since Anko knocked on her door earlier, Kurenai's been wondering if she should tell her voluptuous friend. They keep secrets from each other; there's no way they can't with their profession. This, however, isn't a secret for the security of the village. This is personal.
It's personal and many would say immoral. It has the potential to change their relationship forever and Kurenai's not sure she's ready for that.
The two beauties enjoy their night outthe men lusting around them, more so. As promised, Anko took them to one of the larger bars that cohabitate shinobi and civilian alike.
They dance and though they drink, Kurenai has no more than two, no matter how many times Anko or hopeful bachelors try to persuade her otherwise.
It's not long before their friends join them, and much too soon than she's ready for, Asuma walks through the door to the cheers and adulation of many of her peers in the barminus Anko, Ygao, Kakashi, and Genma.
Kurenai is easily savvy to his awareness of her, but as the nauseous tightness of her stomach dreads the thought of actually speaking with him, she informs Anko, "I should get going."
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