CH 17

Translator: misa

Editor: Girl from the East 

t/n: I’ve got bad news, I’ve decided to drop this novel for various reasons T.T very sorry yall. If anyone wants to mtl the rest, I can provide the raws, just pm me on discord (misa#7404). Just a disclaimer, it’s not really easy to mtl this lol but I think it’s survivable

“You were reproached for skipping work dinner?”

[Sesam: mhm]

“That’s hilarious.” 

Since tomorrow was the weekend, as soon as I got home I ate chicken with a gift card Shin Heejae gave me, and then walked around the dungeon leisurely.

As a result, it became around 2:00 in the morning and there were no more stone dungeons, so we naturally turned to gathering stuff while chatting.

Today’s topic was my shitty job. Because of Kim Namgu, I was annoyed in so many ways that I could not stop talking.

Shin Heejae, who has never even worked at a job, was easy to talk to… Without realizing it, I continued to blabber on.

“Noona, you said you can’t drink right?”

He asked as he punched the goblin near me. I sat down and rested for a while before chatting.

[Sesam: Even though the action officer can’t even drink a glass, he attended ㅡㅡ…]

“Is noona one of the younger people there?” 

[Sesam: mhm]

“Then well, it’s about hierarchy… those boomers are really mindful of young kids.”

Thinking about it, the center’s people in their 40s and 50s were so old-fashioned. My character [Sesam] nodded in agreement.

The social service agents were especially torturous. The current one was easy-going and quick-witted, so there was nothing much to say about that, but the ones in the past had raised their voice several times with employees. 

As I was talking about it, I suddenly remembered that Shin Heejae was also of age to join the military.

[Sesam: have you done your conscription medical checkup?]

However this time I felt Shin Heejae, who had been answering any questions within 3 seconds, hesitate for a moment. His character also stood there for a while.

I wondered if Shin Heejae hadn’t received his conscription. So I asked again as if teasingly because I was on active duty. 

[Sesam: are you perhaps a social service worker?]

Then, Shin Heejae quietly answered.

“I’m exempt.”

[Sesam: really?] 

[Sesam: how did you get the exemption??]

It was a casual question.

But Shin Heejae didn’t talk again.

At that moment, I thought he might have been exempted because of some serious condition. It was difficult to get an exemption from the military unless there were some defects. 

On the surface, he looks fine but…

It was when I was thinking about disrespectful thoughts as I recalled the appearance of the guy who stimulated my inferiority complex. Shin Heejae said to me in a calm voice, making it difficult for me to discern his feelings.

“I’m an orphan.”

[Sesam: looks like that lolol] 

P gfqilfv atja kjs jcv kjlafv obg tlw ab jcrkfg. Yo mbegrf, P atbeuta tf kjr pbxlcu.

Dea Vtlc Lffpjf vlvc’a rjs jcsatlcu.

Click. More clicks. Only the sound of clicking the mouse or using the skill on the keyboard could be heard quietly, but the guy didn’t say anything acknowledging the joke like, “I’m sure you didn’t believe it, did you?”

‘Q-ktja… Ufgtjqr tf’r rfglber?’ 

P yfmjwf wbgf jcv wbgf jczlber jybea rbwfatlcu jcv rkjiibkfv ws rjilnj.

[Sesam: hey are you for real]

“Tfr.”

Vtlc Lffpjf jcrkfgfv yiecais. 

“Tfr. P’w jc bgqtjc. P ugfk eq lc jc bgqtjcjuf.”

My mouth dropped. And then a cold sweat started flowing like crazy.

… How do I fix this?

I could skip the subject by saying I was just asking how he got the exemption since I didn’t know, but… 

[Sesam: oh really…?]

My mind went blank. I couldn’t figure out what to say to fix the situation. My character, which I was collecting materials, naturally stopped and stood there.

[Sesam: oh, I didn’t know… That’s…]

At that time, Shin Heejae laughed and said playfully. 

“Noona, are you flustered?”

“…”

“But, well, I can do fine without a mom and dad.”

I realized that Shin Heejae was trying to move on and answered quickly. 

[Sesam: right]

Still, the embarrassment and guilt did not go away.

As I shut my mouth, having lost my face, an awkward silence began to linger between us. Shin Heejae also silently caught monsters for a while, and then joked with his usual languid voice as if he was trying to break this atmosphere.

“And, well, I’m going to marry noona now.” 

“…”

“I want to have two children… What do you think, noona?”

If it was normal, I would have let out double curses… Now I was in a sorry position. When Shin Heejae saw me unable to respond, he burst out laughing with a “Fuhaha!”.

“Noona, are you really sorry? You can’t even say a word.” 

“…”

“You’re pretty innocent.”

I guess I just wanted to put my mind at ease, seeing that I still had doubts at that moment.

[Sesam: were you lying just now? you trash] 

“No? I don’t have mom and dad, so I’m going to marry my Noona and make a family?”

[Sesam: but why]

“Wow, Noona, do I look like the kind of bastard who uses orphans to evoke your sympathy?”

“…” 

“Noona thinks of me like that…”

[Sesam: no]

[Sesam: then why are you…]

Shin Heejae continued without considering that I was flustered. 

“I was bullied because I went to an orphanage.”

“…”

“Heuheu… too bad.”

And then the guy let out a sobbing sound. He was completely faking the “heuheu” sound, but that did not relieve my conscience. 

“Ah, shit…”

“At a time like this, if Noona hugged me, the wounds in my heart would disappear…”

“…”

It was as if he was trying to move on by acting cheeky, but… I was still staring at the monitor with an uneasy feeling. 

I mean, his behavior of acting like he was serious, but also joking around was making me more… because it felt as if he was distancing himself from his weakness. What I’ve learned while working as a counselor was that just because a client looks bright doesn’t mean everything is.

Eventually, I sighed and asked him again.

[Sesam: what do you mean by bullying?]

For a moment, the ‘heuheu’ noise from Shin Heejae’s mouth stopped. The guy seemed a little perplexed, but he responded with a somewhat natural pace. 

“I got beaten up for wearing the same clothes every day.”

[Sesam: those fools]

“Aye, is noona angry?”

Shin Heejae chuckled leisurely as if it were all in the past, but he was only 21 years old. My mind was getting more and more complicated. 

In the end, after hesitating, I sent the [Hugging] motion to him.

“What is this?”

[Sesam: you said that if I hugged you, the wound would go away ㅡㅡ]

[Heejae: lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol] 

“Oh, Noona you’re really funny.”

After that, Shin Heejae continued to laugh. He laughed for a long time enough to get my mood dirty, but he didn’t miss the chance to accept the [Hugging] gesture.

It was the first time I had ever done something like this. I had never sent a hug before even if we had hugged dozens of times. I got goosebumps.

As I watched the characters pat each other on the back, a sense of reality came over me… Well, there was nothing I could do right now. 

I scratched my reddened neck and took my temper towards him for nothing.

[Sesam: ew I used it for nothing]

[Heejae: lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol]

Shin Heejae giggled and laughed in the chat. but as the voice faded, a silence was created again just like before. He suddenly asked me. 

“Noona, are you sorry for me?”

“…”

“Ah, should I have told you earlier?”

“…” 

“We might see each other soon. If some tears come out…”

It was a favor that he gave with great heart, but, ungratefully there was a thorn in Shin Heejae’s words that could not be hidden. This time what he said didn’t rankle me because of his pride he was trying to move on using this way.

It wasn’t that I didn’t understand it, and I did get annoyed. But in the end I sighed deeply and started chatting.

[Sesam: well; I’m also living apart from my parents] 

[Sesam: I don’t want to meet them either]

“… Why?”

Shin Heejae answered in half a beat.

[Sesam: I have my parents’ debts, so I’m not on good terms with them lol] 

I fell into bitter thoughts for a moment as I recalled the 100 million won debt I had.

Apart from student loans, I had to bear the expenses of my parents’ business. I owed 100 million won at the age of 24. I was now barely paying the interest. In the end I must pay back the interest and the principal with my own money.

However, my family didn’t really respect me. When they borrowed the loans in my name, they would say “our son”. Well… the reality was that I would be called a piece of trash if I didn’t come visit on weekends, even if I had to work at the convenience store all week long. In fact, the reason I started playing the game was to escape from reality.

I was confused whether we were talking about Shin Heejae or the past me. I kept chatting while realizing that my words were getting longer. 

[Sesam: you know my personality, but I am not the type of person to go anywhere and owe others favors, right?]

[Heejae: right… ㅇ.ㅇ]

[Sesam: but with family it can’t be helped…]

[Sesam: because when we live together, I had to pick up after them] 

[Sesam: well… still, from your point of view, it would just sound like empty complaints]

“… That’s not true.”

Shin Heejae closed his mouth after saying that. We didn’t bring up this topic anymore until we logged out.

As soon as I brought up my story, I was regretting it. It seemed to be easier for me to confide in him because I never met Shin Heejae. Personal stories inevitably foster intimacy, but I had to have compassion for Shin Heejae whom I was just fooling around with. 

‘It was reckless…’

Why did I do that? It would have been better if I had comforted him superficially and just cut ties. The talk about being bullied while attending an orphanage, I didn’t know what his true intentions were so I slipped!

“Fuck… Why do I sympathize with a bastard who earns a thousand months? …This bastard is successful now anyway.”

I lay on the bed muttering like that. I couldn’t sleep and ended up tossed and turned.