Haruto had never seen Asuka like this before. Usually calm and composed, always calculating her moves, she now lay before him in shambles, her tears flowing freely.
Her once meticulous demeanor had crumbled, leaving her vulnerable and raw. He was at a loss, unsure how to approach this side of her.
He hesitated for a moment before sitting beside her on the bed. Her hair was a mess, tangled and damp from the rain.
Slowly, he reached out, tucking a stray lock behind her ear to reveal her tear-streaked face.
She kept mumbling incoherently, repeating over and over that she was a terrible mother.
'I wonder how much Kota told her?'
Haruto thought as his hand gently rested on her head, rubbing her hair in an attempt to comfort her.
'Will she hate me after she sobers up?'
Then, without thinking, a question escaped his lips. "Between me and your son, who do you love more?"
The words hung in the air, heavy and ill-timed. Haruto immediately regretted it, his hand flying to his mouth.
"Ah, sorry. I shouldn't have asked something like that. Not now, at least." He sighed, shaking his head.
To his surprise, Asuka sat up, meeting his gaze.
Her emerald eyes were still glistening with tears, but there was a clarity in them now, a strange calmness in her voice as she answered, "I don't know... but if both of you were drowning in a lake, I'd probably choose to save you."
She let out a bitter laugh, her lips trembling as she wiped her tears.
"And that makes me a bad mother."
Haruto said nothing at first, his hand resting lightly on her shoulder before pulling her into a gentle embrace.
He held her close, letting her rest against him as her breathing slowly steadied.
She ran her fingers through her damp hair, staring at the ceiling as if the memories were playing out in vivid detail.
"Beautiful face, perfect body, intelligent, born into a rich and honorable family. On the outside, I had everything anyone could ever want."
She paused, letting out a hollow chuckle. "But of course, it was all just a facade. In truth, I never had anything I actually wanted."
"Everything in my life was dictated to me—how to eat, when to sleep, what to study. My entire existence was governed by a stupid schedule that I was expected to follow to the letter."
Her voice grew quieter, tinged with bitterness. "I had nothing to be proud of. I didn't even know who I was. I just followed my family's footsteps like a soulless doll, paraded around for show."
Haruto watched her carefully, noting the flicker of pain in her expression. Without a word, he reached out and took her hand, squeezing it gently to ground her in the present.
Asuka glanced at him, her lips twitching in what might have been gratitude before she continued.
"Everything changed when I went to college. I had sex for the first time, and for once, I felt... alive."
"It was fun, exhilarating, freeing. For the first time in my life, I had something that was mine—something my family didn't control."
A faint smile crept onto her lips, tinged with defiance. "Even though it was taboo, even though society would judge me, I didn't care. For once, I wanted to be selfish, to do something for myself and no one else."
"And then you decided to become a porn star?" Haruto asked, his voice low and tinged with displeasure.
He tried to mask it, but the jealousy in his tone was evident. The thought of countless men having seen and touched her before him gnawed at him.
Asuka's smile didn't waver, but it shifted into something sardonic, as if she had been expecting his reaction.
"Something like that," she replied with a shrug, as though it were the most natural thing in the world.
"But things didn't stay simple for long. I attracted a stalker. He followed me everywhere—spied on me, invaded my life."
"Eventually, he came to one of my parties and told me he knew my father. He threatened to expose my 'lifestyle' unless I agreed to be his lover."
Her laugh was sharp and bitter, a sound that echoed her disdain for the memory. "Of course, I didn't care about his threats."
"I left that bastard right there and ignored him completely. But... that's when everything went to hell."