Chapter 14 - A Bad Dream

Later, in another corner of the city, Kim Jun Hyeon had a restless sleep in his bedroom.

It was a recurring dream, so he had, deep in his mind, a confused awareness of what the sequence of events was like. Still, part of his nightmare was just knowing how things would succeed.

It was October 25, he knew as it was marked on the calendar on his desk. It was the day of his much awaited first date with Na Ra. There he was, standing in his student clothes, in shock, with the feeling that he just could change everything this time. As it always began, he goes downstairs, convinced that this time he would do it. This time he would change the fate.

Then the setting of his parents' house in the capital changed as soon as he set his feet downstairs. It was no longer the elegant city house, but a scene full of smoke and horror. The narrow corridor didn't mirror in every detail to the actual setting where the tragedy took place, but it mimicked in a wicked way the family's cottage near the lake. Jun Hyeon was a bit confused as to where to go and how to proceed, until he realized he should reach the back wing of the house, where he would eventually find his noona Ji Hyeon. Looking down the hall, he could see the flames escaping through the doorway, along with the black smoke that quickly filled the room. Stripping off his school uniform, he wrapped his face, covering his mouth and nose, and strode resolutely, ready to enter hell and get her out of there. He could hear in his ears the beating of his racing heart.

'Hold on, Ji Hyeon! ' It was his thought. 'I'm coming, this time I'm here!'

In his nightmare, it was as if he had gone back in time and could change everything. That's what he wanted.

Although his focus was on getting there, Jun Hyeon knew that this had happened a few times before, without him actually succeeding despite his attempts. He had a few moments before it was too late. But always, deep in his mind, it seemed he had a difficult decision to make. He passed the stairs leading to the bas.e.m.e.nt, and he had the impression in the back of his mind that if he would stray for a moment from his path to the room where Ji Hyeon was, probably fainted and about to be burned, things might change course.

But he had only one chance, a few moments, and if he could not reach the room in time, he could not take his noona away. So he remained focused on his goal, even though the corridor seemed long and difficult to come across. When he finally reached the door and crouched down, avoiding the high flames and the smoke, crawling in there, he could see his sister's hand lying on the floor... He quickly reached for her and turned her around, full of hope of seeing her beautiful face…

"Jun!"

He screamed in horror, waking up, knowing he had failed, not even needing to see the image in his mind.

Jun Hyeon rolled over on his bed, turning the side light on and checking his watch. After a few minutes from 3 a.m., several years after the actual fire incident. Again he rolled, belly up, and took a deep breath, feeling defeated and lonely. He felt something rolling in his stomach, dragged the pillow to cover it. It was pain and guilt, he knew how to name the feelings.

He could not control dreams, that was fact. This recurrent nightmare always left a strange feeling of incompleteness, a bitter nuisance and sense of failure that lingered through the day.

Jun Hyeon stood up, knowing he wouldn't get any rest by lying in bed with those thoughts in his mind. Crossing his apartment, he avoided looking at the framed picture at top of the expensive furniture in front of his room. Kim Jun Hyeon didn't want to exacerbate the bad feeling and end the night like this. With a shrug, he also ignored the drink cart in the living room, though he considered the idea for a moment. He went to his home office, turned the light on, looked around as if looking for something. But he was just looking for peace of mind and something to distract himself to sleep if he could.

The computer screen lit up, and the starred wallpaper looked much better than reality. That made Jun Hyeon go to the window, pulling away the curtains, to see the night sky, and compare it with the fantasy of the edited photo.

At this point, his head scratched a little, in a reflex act he took his hand to his hair, fishing from there a small object that pinched his scalp. Jun Hyeon brought it forward to see what it was, and was surprised and delighted to notice it was a golden sequin.

The memories of the day returned to his mind, in contrast to his dreadful and dreary nightmare. Miss Nam and all the faces she had made in their brief and pathetic meeting. Jun Hyeon could not help but smile. It had a small but significant part on winding away the lingering sensation of weight in his shoulders.

With his fingers as tweezers, he lifted the little sequin against the setting of the night sky, as if it were a star. He turned from here and there, catching the flare of lights, amused.

The star-sequin on his fingers snapped, falling to the floor. Jun thought to leave it there, but a rush feeling made him take the shiny little object back, and decided to keep it in his wallet, still with a smile.