Chapter 60: Things That Go Boom

Chapter 60: Things That Go Boom

You're listening to Radio New Vegas, your little jukebox in the Mojave Wasteland. I'm Mr. New Vegas and it's time for some news. Troubling news out of Sloan today. The last of the quarrymen under contract with the NCR have been forced to evacuate, as the number of Deathclaw attacks out of Quarry Junction has made habitation there unsustainable. Sounds like that stretch of the Long 15 is going to stay closed unless the Deathclaws can be dealt with. Any takers?

I was standing on the roof of my car, looking through a pair of binoculars, when I heard a voice from below me.

"So," Veronica said, looking up at me. "When I asked you the other day what House wanted after your meeting with him..."

"Yep," I said, already knowing what was coming.

"And you said it was nothing to get worried about..."

"Uh-huh."

"You were basically just lying through your teeth, weren't you?"

"Pretty much, yes." I said, pulling the binoculars away from my face and hopping off my car's roof. Veronica looked like she was sizing me up.

"Can I ask why?"

"Because I wasn't looking forward to what I'm now being forced to do." I said simply, tossing the binoculars back in the car. I looked east and sighed; the sun was up, but just barely. After all the threats from House, I figured I should get going at first light...

I'd parked my car right behind a ridge about two miles down Las Vegas Boulevard - the part of the road beyond the Vegas wall, at least. According to the map on my Pip Boy, Las Vegas Boulevard was a straight shot from Vegas to Nellis. But what it hadn't shown me was that beyond where I was parked... there was simply no road. The pavement looked like it had been buckled upwards because of an explosion of some kind, producing a massive crater and the ridge my car was parked behind.

What really scared me was what I'd seen through the binoculars over the ridge. According to the Pip Boy's map, I was roughly a mile and a half away from the Nellis front gate. Between me and it was the most devastated, heavily bombed out ruins I've ever seen. There was not a single free standing structure as far as I could see. It was nothing but dirt and craters and the broken shells and miserable frameworks of buildings that had been blown back to the stone age. Not only that, but I saw lots of signs mounted all along the perimeter right before the bombed out ruins. Stuff like "BOOMER TERRITORY! KEEP OUT!" and "NO TRESPASSING! JUST LEAVE!" and I think I also saw a modified explosives warning sign with several words painted over to spell out this message: "DANGER! DO NOT ENTER! ANY MILITARY MAY KILL YOU!"

"So," Raul spoke up, leaning against his motorcycle. "What's the plan, Boss?"

I didn't answer right away. Mostly because I didn't have a plan, as such. I mean, running was absolutely out of the question. It was a mile and a half at least, and there's no way I'd make it ten feet before the artillery fire from those howitzers turned me into chunky salsa. There had to be some way past those howitzers...

"Boone," I looked around, trying to find him; he was peering over the ridge, dressed in his Desert Ranger armor - helmet and all - with the Gobi sniper rifle at the ready. His attention snapped to me when I called out his name. "Have you ever had any experience with artillery used by the NCR? Anything you might be able to tell us?"

"Served with the 22nd Field Artillery a few years ago. 1st Recon was tasked with scouting forward positions, and spotting for the artillery. The guns were mostly towed howitzers, firing one-oh-five shells. Pretty effective against stationary targets, but..." Boone trailed off, looking over the ridge once again.

"But?" I asked, motioning for him to continue.

"A couple times, the raiders we were fighting brought in some fast movers. Skirmishers. Dune buggies, motorcycles... vehicles that were light, fast, and agile. Even the experienced crews had a difficult time zeroing the targets."

"So? Cass asked. She was sitting on the hood of my car, checking her shotgun; like Boone, she was decked out in the combat armor she'd picked up from the gun runners, and she'd brought the AA-12. "How's that gonna help us?"

"Artillery generally has a noticeable delay of several seconds, as the shells arc through the air to the point of impact," Arcade spoke up unexpectedly. Every one of us turned to look at him. "The crews manning the guns have to predict where the target is going to be when they fire." He paused, realizing we were all staring at him. "What?"

"Now, how would a doctor like you know something like that?" Veronica asked. Arcade shrugged.

"I... uh... I found a book about the Ardennes Counteroffensive a few years ago," he said, straightening his glasses. "It was written by an artillery commander, and went into great detail about how those Old World military units worked. Write what you know, I guess."

"Are-den... what?" Cass hopped off my car, shouldering her shotgun. "What're y'talking about?

I wasn't really listening to that back and forth. I was staring at my car, a plan starting to formulate in my head... It was a crazy, stupid, insane sort of plan, but at the moment it was the best thing I had... Hell, it was a stupid enough plan, it might work just because of how crazy it was. It'll be the last thing they'd expect. I just needed to figure out a way to...

"You said the crews manning the artillery need to lead their targets, right? And the more unpredictable we are, the harder it would be for them to hit us, yes?" I asked. Both Arcade and Boone nodded. I smiled, and popped open the trunk. "Hey, ED-E? C'mon down here, buddy, I'm gonna need your help with something." The robot floated down, beeping curiously at me.

"So you have a plan then." Veronica said, rather than asked. I nodded, pulling the bag of stealth boys out of my trunk.

"As it happens, yes I do. Do you think you can help me wire one of these stealth boys into ED-E?" ED-E let out a trio of worried sounding beeps. I popped open a side panel on ED-E's chassis, revealing a mess of complicated circuitry and wires.

"Wh- what are you planning, man?" Arcade asked, hovering over my shoulder to look at ED-E's innards.

"Funny you should ask, Arcade. Do you remember Cottonwood Cove?" I asked, smirking at him.

"Well, yeah, of course. But..." Arcade's eyes went wide, and I'm sure I saw the left one twitch. "Oh no. No, you can't be serious!"

"Ladies and men-folk, this is your Captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight 616 with non-stop service to Nellis Air Force Base. I suggest that everyone keeps their arms and legs inside the cabin while the vehicle is in motion, as we're expected to run into some slight turbulence and then... explode."

"Quit screwin' around," Cass socked me in the arm before I got a chance to go much further. "Are we goin' or not?" I think this was the first time I'd actually seen her wear her seatbelt.

"I'm just waiting for ED-E to signal that he's in position." I said, glancing down at my Pip Boy. That stealth boy we'd wired into his power supply would make him invisible, and last as long as he kept running. If all went to plan, then ED-E would fly above Nellis, find the howitzer battery, and signal to my Pip Boy whenever they fired, giving me a chance to dodge. Hopefully that, mixed with the speed of my Corvega, would give me the edge to avoid getting us blown to fuck.

"So, tell me again what Raul is doing?" Veronica asked.

"He's scouting the perimeter on his hog. He's going to see if there's an easier way in, just in case things get too hairy and we need to turn back." I honestly didn't expect him to find an easier way in. If the Boomers were this thorough bombing the road to the front gate, they weren't going to leave any weak points in the perimeter. The main reason he wasn't with us was simply because my car couldn't take six. I just hoped he's be smart enough to keep his distance...

"I'd like to register my opinion that this is the dumbest idea in the history of dumb ideas," Arcade piped up from his spot in the back seat, squished between Veronica and Boone.

"What, you don't think this is gonna work?" I asked, looking at him over my shoulder.

"I think we're all gonna die!" Arcade yelled, his face overcome with worry.

"Well, thank you, Arcade. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming." I sighed, and went back to looking at my Pip Boy, waiting for ED-E to signal.

"Shea's been doin' the 'lone wolf' routine too oft'n lately," Cass said, pulling tighter on her seatbelt. "We all go in as a team, r'not at all." I cast a glance over to her, and her expression was... it was that same look that I'm sure was on my face whenever I was trying to relay confidence I didn't feel. Kind of like now, really.

"Didn't exactly roll out the red carpet..." I heard Arcade mutter in my ear from behind me.

"You were expecting me?" I asked. She nodded, pouring out several cups of tea into a set of mismatched and chipped teacups and coffee mugs.

"What, like a prophecy r'somethin'?" Cass asked, accepting the first cup of tea. Pearl just chuckled softly to herself.

"Prophecy? Hah! Do we look like a bunch of religious idiots? I just hoped a sava-" she coughed, and looked a bit nervous. "Er, outsider, sorry. I hoped someone would make it to our gates before one of those armies out there came knocking. I must say, I didn't expect five of you. The more the merrier, though."

"So, you're not as isolated as everyone seems to think?" I asked, taking a gamble. She nodded at me, handing me a chipped coffee mug; I looked at the side, which read "My Son is in the US Air Force." I took a sip... and was pleasantly surprised. It was actually quite flavorful, but I couldn't really place it. I wasn't expecting that. Then again, I'd never really had tea before.

"That's right, child. Mother Pearl knows a storm is gathering. Times are changing. May be time for us to change a little, too. And I know about you too... Courier."

"What do you know about me?" I asked, a bit concerned. Everyone - even Boone - seemed surprised by that bit of news... but I wasn't. My reputation was getting large enough, I honestly wasn't surprised that staunch isolationists like the Boomers had even heard of me... well, heard of The Courier. Pearl just kept smiling, handing out cups of hot tea to everyone around.

"Just what I've heard on the radio. They say The Courier was shot in the head, and then reborn in Goodsprings. And I've heard tell that The Courier is a man who wanders the Mojave, helping people and solving problems. And it's not like you're keeping a low profile. That suits me fine, especially since you're so eager to talk to us you'll brave our guns the way you did."

"So, you need my help then?" I asked, picking up on one of the things she'd said.

"Just in a few ways to begin with, so we can get used to what it's like to have a sav- outsider around and about. Should that go well, it may be you can help in big ways, too. I suppose we'll have to see..." I sipped on the tea, regarding her words carefully... but there was something about this bothering me.

"You know... you sound like you want me to trust you. But how can we trust each other if you're going to be keeping secrets?" I asked. Pearl stopped midway through pouring her own cup of tea... and looked at me, impressed, nodding slowly.

"You're good. Not many would pick up on..." She cleared her throat. "You have to keep in mind that you're our first contact with the outside world since I was barely a woman. Seclusion has kept us safe. But the world around us is changing. Neon lights in the distance, patrolling robots, soldiers, songs on the radio waves... My youngers think our guns can keep out the world, but I think we need to let it in, just a little... or become its victim. I want you and your friends to become that little bit of the world. This is my invitation, children, and my request for help. Welcome to Nellis."

The air in the control tower was very quiet, as I looked from Cass, to Veronica, to Arcade, and then -

"Where do we start?" Boone spoke up. I suppose if Boone was on board with this idea, there wasn't anything else that needed to be said. Not really.

"There are a few ways you all can help. As it happens, you picked a good time to stop by, for we're swimming in problems. My youngers can tell you all about it," As she spoke, Pearl started illustrating her list by counting down on her fingers. "Raquel could use help with the bug problems, Doc Argyll has wounded he's tending to, and Loyal and Jack in the main hangars might be looking for help with some repairs. Or you could just go see Pete at the museum and hear The Story about our history. All you have to do there is listen. Come and go as you like, help or don't help, I leave it up to you. But I hope you'll show my youngers that not every outsider needs to be blown up."

"Mother Pearl's instructions are clear," Raquel said as we made our way back outside. "You can move freely around Nellis, and artillery spotters have orders not to fire on you or your compatriots." She got right in my face, and narrowed her one good eye at me. "These are extraordinary privileges. Don't abuse them."

"Don't worry," I said, as calmly as I could. "I didn't come all this way to start a ruckus. But there's something we need to do, first." Raquel raised an eyebrow at me. "There's one other person who works with me, and I'd really appreciate it if he didn't get blown up."

"Are you talking about the one on the motorcycle?" She asked. My gut tightened instantly. I guess we weren't as subtle as I thought.

"So, you've seen him then?"

"Of course. The artillery spotters kept him in sight as soon as we spotted your car. He hasn't entered the kill zone, though. The gun crews won't fire on anyone unless they breach the perimeter." She paused for a moment, as if thinking of something. "Why didn't you bring him along in the first place?"

"Well, he wouldn't actually fit in my car..." My eyes went wide as I remembered: "MY CAR!" Without another word, I started running. I ran as fast as I could, and only stopped... when I saw what remained of my car.

Half the paint on my Corvega was either scratched off or peeling. Every single panel of the bodywork was covered in dents and scratches, torn metal, and punctures. The windshield looked like it was about ready to collapse inward - especially around the hole created by the cazador a few days ago. I would have said that both tires on the left side were completely flat, but there wasn't enough rubber left for them to still be called tires. Most worrying of all, however, was the steady stream of smoke billowing out of the engine bay.

"No! No no no no no!" I rushed over to the engine bay, unlatched the lid, and was hit in the face with a blast of steam and hot smoke as the hood shot up from the pressure; my Pip Boy's Geiger counter started clicking rapidly as soon as my engine was exposed. I brought up my arm in a vain attempt to cover my face and backed away as quickly as I could.

"I... It's..." I couldn't think of the words. I was too... overcome. I know that sounds silly, since it's just a car. But it was my car. And the trip across the artillery field had, unquestionably, murdered it. I stepped back even further after the engine started squirting bursts of glowing green liquid into the air

"Look on the bright side," I heard Veronica say from behind me, resting a hand on my shoulder. "At least I was wrong about the engine exploding!" I couldn't really take much solace in that, as my Corvega kept belching toxic, radioactive fumes into the air. Everyone else had finally caught up, and was staring at the car, same as me. I can't be certain, but I think even Cass took her hat off when she saw the wreckage.

"Do you need a ride to go get your friend?" Raquel said, pulling a radio off her belt, and spoke into it using some kind of military code - presumably, to call for the Jeep to swing around.

"Yeah... that would... I think that might help. But that's not all we'd need." Raquel looked at me curiously. "We'll need somebody who can find him - and that we can follow."

"The artillery spotters can radio-" She held up the radio, but I shook my head.

"Nah, I've got a better idea," I pushed several buttons on my Pip Boy. "ED-E? Are you around anywhere? I'm gonna need your help with something." Almost instantly, there was a belch of ozone in the air, overpowering the burning smell from my car, and with a flash of lightning ED-E appeared no more than two feet away, beeping happily.

"Hey, Raul!" I shouted over the roar of the Jeep's engine when we got close to the ghoul on the motorcycle. ED-E had led us straight to Raul; I'm glad that I can always count on that flying metal ball. Raul perked up at the sound of the car, and stopped his hog when he saw ED-E hovering near us. I hopped off the Jeep, and started walking toward him.

"Oh, hey Boss. So, you made it in without dying, huh?" I nodded, and Raul chuckled. "Good work, boss. I had a feeling that hair-brained plan of yours wasn't actually as suicidal as it seemed. I mean, I knew from the start it wasn't - it was one of your plans." By this time, Raquel had gotten off the Jeep and walked up next to me; I couldn't really tell what her expression was, since the side of her face closest to me didn't actually have any features anymore. Raul, on the other hand, let out a whistle as she approached. "Quin es tu amiga atractiva?"

"Uh... what?" I asked. I didn't know if he was slipping into Spanish just to screw with me, or if he just didn't realize he was doing it.

"Who's your friend?" He asked, smiling at me and pointing at her.

"I... I'm Raquel. Master-At-Arms for the Nellis Homeland," Raquel said; apparently she'd never seen a ghoul before. Especially when she said: "What are... Who are you?"

"Raul Alfonso Tejada. Encantado," He looked around, as if suddenly remembering something. "So, uh... Boss? Where's your car?"

"Uh... that'll take some explaining."

"You wrecked it, didn't you, Boss?" He said flatly. I could tell: he was trying his hardest not to laugh.

"Well, it's not blown up, if that's what you're suggesting. But... yes. Slightly. Completely." I tried to laugh it off, but it wasn't really working.

"Well, I'm sure we're in a part of the world where there's plenty of dealerships where you can get spare parts and fix your car, Boss." Raul fired up his motorcycle, and revved the engine. "So, are we going to head out?"

"No one likes a smartass, Raul..." I muttered.