Chapter 89: I Could Make You Care

Chapter 89: I Could Make You Care

It was close to noon when Veronica and I set out for the Hidden Valley bunker with all the tech loaded up in the backseat. And when we were about halfway there, I finally decided to break the unbearable silence.

"Alright, I can't take it anymore. What's wrong?" I asked. Veronica had been leaning against the door, looking out the window, and she immediately perked up.

"Wh-what?" she eventually stammered out. "Nothing's wrong. Why would you..." she trailed off, apparently not even convinced herself.

"V, we've been in the car for 20 minutes now, and you haven't said a word. And yesterday, when we were in the Vault, you were very, very quiet. Something is eating at you, I can tell." I cast a glance at her, and it looked like Veronica was trying to sink into the chair. "So, c'mon. What's wrong?"

I had a feeling I knew what was wrong, but... I had to ask. Just to be sure. For another minute or two, Veronica sat there quietly, steadfastly refusing to speak. Eventually though, she let out a very, very heavy sigh.

"Have you ever... do you ever get the feeling that you're making a huge mistake?" I kept my face as impassive on the outside as I could muster, but inside I was laughing hysterically.

"... Occasionally, yes." I said once I was sure I'd be able to answer without laughing out loud. "Why do you ask?"

"Well..." Veronica sighed again. "I've just... been looking back. I've made a lot of mistakes. I've trusted people, or my own judgment... and it's always seemed to end... badly. Christine, Elijah..." Veronica got quiet, and practically whispered the next word: "... Cass..." She buried her face in her hands, running them over her head and inadvertently pushed her hood back. "I don't know... maybe it was..." She collapsed against the seat back, and let her hands fall off her head. "I'm just worried that I'm making another mistake with this."

"What, with Cass?"

"No, that's..." Veronica cleared her throat, and pulled her hood back up. "...not... an issue. Anymore. No, I'm talking about McNamara." The light bulb clicked in my head, and I mentally started kicking myself.

"You don't think the Pulse Gun is going to convince him." It wasn't really a question.

"I..." Veronica paused, staring out of the window. "I don't know. I've tried so many times to convince him, but... There are some days it just... feels like I'm fighting a lost cause."

"As long as you're still willing to fight for it, it's not lost," I said. "And it's like you said before. You've got to try, right?"

"Yeah... but so much has gone wrong lately, and... I just wish something could go right for once, you know?" I nodded somberly.

"It would be a nice change of pace," I said simply. "For what it's worth..." I paused, not sure if I should finish that thought. "... I'm sorry about Cass." Veronica sank deeper into her seat, pulling down her hood even more.

"It's not your fault..." She muttered. I tried my best not to wince. "Fuck, it was my own damn fault. I guess... I was just a little too nave to think I could actually make Cass and I..." Veronica sighed again. "...work."

"Are you coming?" Veronica asked when she opened the door to the bunker. She had all the air filter parts and the Pulse Gun in a bag slung over her shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm on my way," I said while digging around in the trunk of my car. "I just need to grab some things first." I pulled the anti-materiel rifle out of the trunk, made sure it wasn't loaded, and slung it over my shoulder. Even out of the corner of my eye, I could see the horrified look on Veronica's face.

"Wh - Sheason, what are you doing?"

"Well, I got to thinking about what you said earlier," I said, grabbing a grenade, a few shotgun shells, and an assault rifle magazine. "And if McNamara isn't convinced by the Pulse Gun, I had a few other ideas. Call it a 'plan B' for our little show-and-tell."

I admit it - that was only partially true. I'd been thinking about how this meeting might go the last couple of days, and I realized that the Pulse Gun might not be enough. Which is why, before Veronica even got up, I made a quick trip to the Gun Runners and grabbed a few things which might help make our point just as good - if not better.

"And one of those ideas is to go into the bunker looking ready to storm the place?" she asked.

"C'mon V, you should know me better than that by now. I've seen the kind of firepower that's waiting down there. If I was suicidal enough to try something like that - which I most certainly am not - I'd bring something like the gatling laser, not a long range rifle like this. This'd be completely useless in those narrow, twisty corridors."

"... could you just leave the rifle in the car? Please?" Veronica asked, pleadingly. "Trust me - if you go in there, armed like that... it'll send entirely the wrong message."

"Alright, alright. You're the boss," I put the giant gun back in the trunk, and decided that a single .50cal bullet would be sufficient to make my point. "Let's go."

"Welcome outsider, welcome!" McNamara said with a surprisingly jovial tone of voice as the two of us entered his office. "And Veronica as well, welcome back!"

"McNamara," I gave him a nod as we made our way up the steps to his desk. "I take it you've heard the good news?" He nodded with a smile.

"Yes, I just received word from Senior Knight Lorenzo. He tells me the parts that you acquired were in excellent condition, and he is installing them as we speak. Your efforts have humbled me... Mr. Fisher," He smiled, obviously proud of making a point to call me by name, rather than outsider. "We should not have had to rely on your help in this crisis, but... despite that, you have done more than I could expect, even from my Brothers. You have proven yourself to be a trusted ally to the Brotherhood. Thank you."

"Hey, I said I would help. But can you do one thing for me?" I asked. McNamara's expression faltered slightly, but he quickly recovered.

"Within reason, outsider," he said with narrowed eyes, but still smiling. "What is your request?"

"Listen to Veronica for a few minutes?" and with that, I stepped back down, letting Veronica get front and center. He looked at me, back at her, then back to me, and finally settled on Veronica.

"Veronica, I hope -"

"I brought you a present," Veronica said, cutting him off and setting the Pulse Gun on his desk. "This is a Pulse Gun. It was developed by the pre-war military for the sole purpose of disabling power armor. Just one of these could defeat the whole Brotherhood! This proves that we need to stop limiting our focus to military technology - it's not going to save us." McNamara stared at the gun as she spoke, and finally looked up at her with a stern expression when she finished.

"Veronica, this weapon could be the only one of its kind."

"That's not the point!" She shouted. "Technology isn't going to win our wars for us. We need numbers - new recruits!"

"What does the Codex say?" McNamara asked with stony resolve. Veronica sighed and looked away.

"A bunch of closed-minded bullshit..." She muttered. McNamara sighed.

"We do not help them or let them in." The way he said it sounded like he was merely rattling off a specific passage from memory. "We keep knowledge that they must never have."

"Give it a chance," Veronica turned back to McNamara, pleadingly. "For me. I... I can't stay here and watch us waste away!" Slowly, McNamara shook his head.

"I'm sorry."

"But... we'll die out..." Veronica's voice fell. McNamara sighed, his voice going nearly as quiet.

"Well, yeah. You're really good at what you do, they'd be stupid to-" Veronica shook her head, and I shut up.

"That's not what I mean. When we're young, every child born into the Brotherhood is given a choice. You can either stay with the Brotherhood, or you can leave and strike out on your own... and the choice is supposed to be for life. The Brotherhood doesn't react kindly to oathbreakers..."

"That..." All sorts of images were flowing through my head, and none of them were good. "That doesn't sound encouraging."

"But if I stay, then I'll be forced to live out a lifetime of scavenging and watching my friends die in losing battles."

"That's a hell of a choice," I muttered. Veronica just shook her head.

"No. I already know what I need to do... what I should have done earlier..." Without warning, Veronica got up off the edge of her bed, and made her way to one of the posters on the wall. Very carefully, she removed it off the wall and started rolling it up. "Grab those boxes by your feet. It's time for me to leave."

"So, is this all you want to take with you?" I asked as we neared the staircase that led to the exit. The two large metal boxes in my hands were heavy, but not unduly so. Veronica was carrying the bulk of it: the metal tube that had all her posters - along with the guitar - was strapped to her back, and she was carrying a large metal box under one arm, and the amplifier under the other.

"It's all that I have that's worth anything. To me, at least."

"I didn't even know you played guitar," I said, eying the instrument on her back. Except for the neck, it was all curved, with rounded edges, and looked like it was made out of wood, of all things. There was some cursive writing on the head, near the tuning pegs, but I didn't know enough about guitars, much less electric ones, to make any sense of it: 'Stratocaster.'

"I... don't really play," Veronica said with a shrug - impressive in itself, given how much she was holding. "I only know, like, three chords, that I taught myself..."

"That's three more than me, I don't know shit." I could be mistaken, but I thought I heard her chuckle. "So, what is all this, anyway? What's in the boxes?"

"Just a few records. I recovered both them and the guitar from a bunker in California, about ten years ago."

"Records?" I asked, looking down at the boxes in my hands. "What, like files? Documents? Holotapes?"

"No..." Veronica looked at me over her shoulder, and actually started smiling... slightly. "I mean, real records. Vinyl LP's. Music. Those kind of records."

"Seriously?" I honestly couldn't believe it. I knew what vinyl records were, I'd seen them in old world holotapes... but I'd never seen one in person. I'd always just assumed that they were so fragile that none of them survived the apocalypse. Veronica gave an affirmative "Mmhmm," in response.

"Why do you think you're carrying a portable turntable?" She said, motioning with her head to the smaller box in my hands.

"Is that what this is? I thought it was a suitcase." I asked.

Sadly, I didn't get an answer. At least, not then. Because at the precise moment we finally exited the last staircase in the bunker proper, and walked into the concrete antechamber that separated the bunker from the surface... we were greeted with a very unwelcome sight. Four Brotherhood Paladins, in full power armor and all heavily armed, were barring our way. If the Gauss minigun carried by the man in front was any indication, then we'd run into this same group of Paladins before...

"Just as I suspected," the man in the lead said, his voice echoing and reverberating as it passed through the filter on his helmet. "We'd heard that you'd come back to try and fill the Elder's head with seditious lies - trying to undermine his authority. And now that you have obviously failed, what do we find? It looks like you're trying to leave with pieces of Old World tech. Have you forgotten your oath, Veronica? This is treason of the highest order, and we will not stand for it..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!" I shouted, setting the boxes I was carrying on the ground, and stepping forward - directly between Veronica and the Paladins. "Chill your tits, boys. You're jumping to entirely the wrong conclusion here. You know what she does, right?" I pointed my thumb over my shoulder at Veronica, and kept going before they could answer. "Far as I know, her job description is to go out in the world, and find tech to bring back. You know how boring the outside world is? It's pretty fuckin' boring! That's all this is - entertainment for the times between trips to the bunker."

"I don't believe you, outsider," The man in front snarled and managed to loom over me somehow, despite being at least six feet away.

"Cutter, it- it's true. If you won't listen to him, listen to me. This is just my music, that's all." She leaned down, and opened up one of the boxes - sure enough, it was filled with easily a hundred vinyl record sleeves

"Besides, I don't really think a guitar counts as Old World tech. Not like those Gauss rifle's you're carrying, at any rate..." I did my best to back her up. But, just looking at the four powered armored Paladins standing there, staring at us behind those impenetrable masks and standing like statues... I had no idea.

"Hmmmph," the Paladin in the lead grunted eventually. "She'd be doing a greater service by carrying out her duties and not spending all her time on frivolous entertainment... " He motioned with his head to the Paladins behind him, and they started following him; before he went back into the Bunker, he stopped right in front of Veronica, staring down at her. "Don't think we've forgotten your attempt to undermine the Elder's authority. This had better be the last time your loyalty falters, scribe. You've been warned."

Veronica didn't say anything until we were already back in my car with everything loaded in the backseat. As soon as the Hidden Valley bunker complex was behind us, she let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Well... if there was any question whether I should leave, I guess Cutter and his cronies gave me my answer..." Veronica slumped into the seat and turned to look at me. "Thanks for the quick thinking back there."

"Hey, some of the best lies are based in truth..." I muttered, a pang of guilt stabbing at the back of my mind. I shook it off and tried to keep the conversation going. "You sure you're okay with leaving them behind?"

"I think if I stayed, I'd just end up causing trouble. Sometimes, I just can't help myself. This way is better for them... and for me."

"Well, for what it's worth, I like the particular brand of trouble you bring to the party," I looked over to her when I finished speaking, and saw a small smirk start to creep into the side of her mouth. "Still interested in travelling with me?"

"Absolutely. Truth be told, even after everything that's happened... the 38 is the closest thing to a home that I've ever had. But as far as I know, drifting is in the job description. I'd still like to establish a... real connection first."

"What, you want to talk to April and Emily about joining the Followers? Maybe Arcade? I'm sure he won't give you any grief about it at all." I said, not even trying to mask my sarcasm.

"Uh... no." Veronica shook her head and chuckled softly. "I actually had something else in mind entirely..."

"Doctor Alvarez?" Veronica asked as we walked into the Followers outpost near the 188 about half an hour later. "Are you in here?"

"Oh! Hello, Veronica!" The middle-aged woman in the labcoat emerged, beaming with a friendly smile. "It's so nice to see you again so soon. What can we do for you?"

"Hi. Er... There's something I think I need to tell you. You know how I told you I used to be a mechanic?" Veronica laughed nervously, and scratched the back of her head. "Yeah... that story wasn't... entirely... accurate..."

"I think that went well!" Veronica said when we were back on the road, headed to Vegas.

"Yeah, she was very understanding when you said you were a member of the Brotherhood. I honestly couldn't have called that, I figured she might be suspicious. But I still don't get why she wants you to come back tomorrow."

"Weren't you listening?" Veronica said, sitting up in the seat. "Doctor Shiller, or whatever his name is, isn't going to be back in until tomorrow. According to Alvarez, he's the one in charge of assignments."

"Eh, fair enough," I shrugged. "So! You got a whole day free, to do whatever you want before we go back. Anything in particular you wanna do?"

"Truthfully?" Veronica buried her face in her hands and groaned languidly. "I want to go back to my room in the 38 and sleep. Is it a bad thing that I feel more exhausted now than after any of our trips to the Vaults?"

The only answer I could think to give was a shrug.