Chapter 141: Jury-Rigged

Chapter 141: Jury-Rigged

I strode calmly and confidently through the wreckage of the drug lab. The floor was covered in a carpet of spilled chemicals both liquids and powders mixing occasionally with the many pools of Los Zorroz blood. Every few steps or so, a discarded syringe or Jet inhaler would crack with a pop of breaking glass under my boots. While I searched for my target, Cass, Veronica, Stripe and Sasha got to the business of engaging in some post-combat small talk.

"Oh, man," Veronica muttered from somewhere behind me. "You really have done a number on this place." Stripe let out a heavy snort in response.

"Y'know, I'm kinda surprised he ain't eatin' any've these guys," Cass said.

"Stripe would not eat these baby-men," Sasha barked; Veronica sighed.

"Well, that's a re-"

"No, since leaving the Big Empty and especially since having more options for food that are not Lobotomites he has expressed distaste in the texture of human flesh." Sasha clarified.

"Human is too stringy..." Stripe growled after snorting again. "Not enough meat, and too chewy."

A heavy silence hung in the air.

"Oh..." Veronica finally squeaked out. "Well. That... that's..."

"So, if ya don't like th' taste've people, what do y'like t'eat?" Cass asked; if she was as horrified as Veronica seemed to be, she was hiding it well.

"Bighorner. Brahmin. Lots of juicy, tender meat. Not much of a challenge..." Stripe snorted again. "But tasty." He started laughing that deep, guttural, almost coughing laugh of his, and even I found it a bit unsettling.

"Please tell me you're doing something less disturbing over here," Veronica said as she suddenly appeared next to me. "Actually, what are you doing?"

I turned to look at her, and was treated to an unexpected lightshow. I couldn't remember if I'd ever seen anyone with my EM vision this close before, but it certainly was different. Dim, flickering lights in the vague shape of a person with brighter lights around the brain and eyes all dancing around in front of me as I picked up Veronica's firing neurons; the semi-powered armor under her robe shone like a spotlight, nearly blinding me from this close up.

"Hello-o-o-o!" Veronica snapped her fingers in front of my face. "Earth to Sheason. Still in there?"

"Oh... yeah. Sorry, left the EM vision on," I said, turning back to the wall. "I just think I found another vault protected by a force field." I blinked, and my vision returned to normal. I'd been staring at a blank, vaguely nondescript wall with only a mild case of graffiti.

"Wait, what's goin' on?" Cass asked, walking over to me. Stripe followed, shaking the ground with every step.

"Sheason's found another one of those force field vaults, like he told us about," Veronica explained.

"Oh, sweet. So, that's, like, a false wall or somethin' right? You gonna look for a secret lever to open it or "

Before Cass could finish, I shoved my fist through the wall with a crunch of plaster and wood, burying the cybernetic limb up to my shoulder. I found a good hand-hold, and pulled down the flimsy partition, sending splinters flying everywhere. The wall crumbled like it was made of paper.

" or I guess you could just do that, sure."

"Yep, that's our Sheason," Veronica shook her head and laughed. "When presented with a puzzle, he'll brute force a solution. By wrecking it."

"I prefer to think of it as the pragmatic approach," I smiled back at them, shaking splinters off my fist. And then I realized: I was still wearing my helmet. Smiling was completely pointless. "Besides, I learned it from you." Veronica nodded with a shrug.

"Fair enough, you've got me there."

I turned back to the open hallway behind the fake wall and sure enough there was a door protected by a faintly shimmering blue energy field. I tapped the side of my helmet.

"Hey, Emily? You readin' me?" I asked. "Is the picture coming in alright?"

"Yes indeed!" Emily's cheery voice buzzed in my ear. "Looks like that camera you installed is working better than I thought it would."

"So? What's the verdict?" I said, walking over to the force field and pulling out the Sonic Emitter. "Does it look like those force fields you saw up in Vault City?"

"A little... do you think you could move closer? Maybe pan to the right a bit?" I was a bit put off by the instruction, but moved my head to the right all the same. "Yeah, that's what I thought. See that exposed wiring, and the splices next to the magnetic stabilizer? That looks like a hatchet job, built by a gorilla. They must have stolen the plans from somebody."

"Good to know," I nodded, shooting the force field with the Sonic. It shimmered and fizzled away with a pop. "Make sure you save this recording, I want to take a look at it later."

"Got it, boss," Emily said happily. I turned back to Cass, Veronica, and Stripe, all standing just outside the ruined wall and looking at me curiously.

"I'll start collecting everything here. If it's like the last one, there's gonna be piles of cash just waiting for us to take it. While I'm busy here, start setting the explosives."

"Explosives?!" Veronica's eyes went wide. "Wait, what?" Cass just smiled and started chuckling.

"Got everything?" Cass asked when I finally made my way back to the deuce. I nodded, adjusting the strap on the duffel bag hanging off my shoulder.

"Yep. And it's not just cash, either. I got more of those radios, but I don't think they're tuned to any specific frequency."

"So, just like the last bunch of radios then." Veronica said. "Fairly useless for the job of spying on these guys."

"Yeah, pretty much," I tossed the duffel bag in the back of the deuce. "But, I did find some maps and a few holotapes. That might just give us the intel we need to see at who's turning these wheels."

"Then lets make a statement," Cass tossed me the detonator with a smile. I stood there for half a second, my back to the warehouse across the street, and immediately regretted the fact that I didn't currently have any sunglasses that I could put on.

Beep.

The ground shook under my feet, and a shock front of heat and wind buffeted my back, threatening to knock me over. The sounds of windows shattering one after another in a rising crescendo of broken glass was swiftly drowned out by the mortar and brick walls crumbling and being consumed by the fire and smoke of the exploding C4 that had been attached to all the support columns. Cass and Veronica both ducked, and brought their arms up to cover their faces, but Stripe reared back and roared, while Sasha started laughing raucously.

"MWAH-HA-HA-HAAA!" Sasha bellowed. "MORE RUBBLE, LESS TROUBLE!"

I was sitting at the dining room table the next morning, tinkering away at my latest project, when I suddenly heard a very tiny wheel squeaking below me. I looked up from my work and off to my left just in time to see a pair of tiny metal claws attached to tiny little noodly metal arms latch onto the edge, followed swiftly by Muggy pulling himself up and onto the table.

"Hello!" He said, rolling on the table over to me. "How's your coffee? Almost done? Can I have your mug?"

"Oh... uh, sure, I think," I nodded, setting down my screwdriver and grabbing my coffee. I knocked the rest of it back in one go, and all I got were the last mildly warm dregs. I did my best to fight back a grimace and a cough, handing Muggy the empty coffee cup; he took it carefully, cradling it in his tiny metal arms.

"Thanks," he said calmly.

"I can't help but notice," I picked up the screwdriver again and went back to my work. "You seem a bit less twitchy and neurotic lately. Are you feeling alright?"

"You could always hit another Los Zorroz hideout," Emily offered. I shrugged.

"I suppose I could, but I'd rather make sure everything I'm using works first before going into any serious combat in Freeside. Besides..." I looked out the window, at how bright everything was. "It won't be night for at least a couple hours."

"Well... just..." Emily fiddled nervously with some of her hair, brushing it behind her ear. "Be careful, alright? I remember those stories you told us about the goings on in that crater, and everything sounded incredibly dangerous."

"You really are worried about this, aren't you?" I asked. Emily scrunched up her face.

"Well, to be fair, the Big Empty is where your arm got cut off."

"I got a new one!" I offered up weakly, and Emily rolled her eyes.

"Don't worry!" Sue said unexpectedly, causing Emily to jump slightly in surprise. "I can keep him hidden and safe. No one will be as unseen as us!"

"There, y'see?" I nodded, making my way to the teleport pad. "Nothing to worry about."

"Do you think you could keep that sat-phone link open, just in case?" Emily said as I punched in the coordinates. "Maybe even that camera as well. It won't hurt to have another set of eyes, just in case."

"Fair enough," I nodded, conceding the point. I stepped on the pad, and it began to hum and spin with ribbons of light. "But it's like I said, you don't have to worry. It's me!" Emily glared at me with a raised eyebrow, folding her arms across her chest.

"That's why I'm worried," she said the instant before the world disappeared.

The world came into focus, and I stepped off the teleport pad in The Sink.

"Welcome home, sir," Jeeves greeted me, bathing me in the flickering blue lights of his holographic audio visualization bars. "What can I do for sir today?"

"I'm looking for a place in the crater where I can test this out," I said, lifting up the energy rifle for him to see. The bars rapidly flickered through several colors before settling back on blue.

"I was wondering why sir requested me to replicate those energy weapons earlier," he said flatly. "Does it work?"

"That's what I intend to find out. Do you know of any places in the crater with a lot of force fields? Maybe some violent, malfunctioning robots I can fry?"

"One moment, sir," Jeeves replied. The holographic bars vanished, and a 3D representation of the Big Empty crater appeared in its place. Lines of light flashed back and forth across the map, scanning the image several times. "I think I may have found a suitable location for sir's purposes: the Z-43 Innovative Toxins Plant."

"Sounds promising," I replied, my voice thick with sarcasm. "Where is it?" The map flickered again, and a red arrow appeared, pointing down.

"It appears to be on the southern edge of the Hexcrete Archipelago, sir. At least... for the moment."

"Is it one of those labs that gets up and walks around?" I asked, remembering all too well the giant slabs of hexagonal concrete pillars flying through the air.

"That, I cannot say with certainty, sir." Jeeves admitted. "But if the archival records I am looking at are correct, sir, then sir will find a multitude of robots, force fields, and obstacles within the bowels of the facility. It should prove a peerless proving ground to practice with the prototype on sirs' person."

"Perfect," I said with a smile.

"Oh boy..." I sighed, stopping just outside the front door of the Z-43 building. "This is gonna be a loooooong day, isn't it?"

The squat, square, relatively indistinct brick building was sitting within spitting distance of the hexcrete towers, and several large pipes were attached to the side. What really caught my attention, however, was the graffiti painted on the front door that I hadn't seen since the Divide: one of Ulysses' flag markers. A red one.

That was never a good sign.

"Wait, this is where we're going?" Sue squeaked as I pushed open the front door, and made my way inside the darkened building.

"Yeah? Why, what's the problem?" I switched on my nightvision, but it didn't really help. There didn't appear to be anything here except rusty copper pipes, and dirty walls...

"Oh, I've just heard stories about this place... bad stories." Sue let out a nervous squeak. "They say that the old caretaker of this place went mad. Absolutely stir-fry crazy. She chopped up her entire staff..."

"Shit, really?" I asked, just a little bit too soon.

"... of robots." Sue clarified.

"Oh," I shook my head, trying not to laugh. Sue continued.

"They say at night you can still hear the screams... of their replicas. All of them functionally indistinguishable to the originals. No memory of the incident. Nobody has any idea why they're screaming. Absolutely terrifying..." Sue paused. "Though... you know. Not... paranormal. In any meaningful way."

"So, is that it?" I asked after a pause.

"Hey, that's a scary story for a personality construct!" Sue said indignantly, apparently picking up on how unimpressed I was. "Can you imagine if I was screaming all the time and I had no idea what was going on?" I shrugged.

"Okay, yeah, I can see tha "

Suddenly, the floor opened up beneath my feet and I started falling. Both Sue and I started screaming more in surprise than fright for me as I slid down a smooth tunnel, unsure of where I was going. I just gripped the rifle tightly, and braced myself for the inevitable impact for when this tunnel decided to stop.

A light below my feet appeared, practically blinding me. I shut my eyes, willing the nightvision off...

THUD.

I'd landed on my ass, but I didn't think anything was broken. In fact, it felt like I'd landed on something soft, like a chair or something. A strange tinny music filled my ears that I didn't recognize like some kind of elevator music for robots. I cracked open an eye, and looked around cautiously.

"What the hell?"

I was sitting on a very soft egg-shaped bed, inside a glass box, and surrounded entirely by pristine white walls and tiled ceramic floors. I looked up just as the tube which deposited me here retracted up into the ceiling, and the panels closed up tight. In one of the corners of the antiseptic white room this glass box was located inside, I saw a video camera aimed directly at me. A blinking red light flashed on the side.

"What's going on?" Sue asked with a wavering voice.

"Don't look at me," I said, getting up off the bed. Suddenly, the music stopped, and a crackle of static issued from a speaker somewhere above me, accompanied by a flicker of the lights.

"HELLO." A heavily synthesized female voice (that seemed to be putting accent on entirely the wrong syllables) bellowed out of the speakers. "AND, AGAIN, WELCOME TO THE BIGMOUNTAIN COMPUTER AIDED ENRICHMENT CENTER. YOUR SPECIMEN HAS BEEN PROCESSED AND WE ARENOWREADY TO BEGINTHE TEST PROPER."

"Oh, that doesn't sound good..." I muttered, gulping hard and gripping the rifle tighter.

"LET'S BEGIN."