471. Alice In Nightmareland

471. Alice In Nightmareland

The shadow of a man appeared, causing her heart to sink. Why was she so terrified of it? Alice did not know, and desperately tried every door possible until she came across a table that was not in the hallway before. Desperate, she ran towards it.

The table was made from glass. On it were a variety of items, but her anxiety caused her to focus on only a silver key. The sound of shackles and a whip caused her to seize up. The Pavlovian reaction nearly caused her to submit as she defensively held out her hands to protect her face, as if she was about to be struck.

“I-I’m fine. I’m fine. I have to run. I have to go. Open. Please... please open –!” The worked immediately on the first door, and she shoved herself through its wooden frame and carefully shut it.

She looked back at the door, walking backwards towards a curtain. Heavy footsteps passed as liquid oozed from underneath the door. Alice held the hems of her long dress up as if to not let it touch her.

The liquid smelled bitter, just like the liquid bliss that Ara drank used to drink himself to a weeping sleep. Glass shattered from outside and she clutched her ears, watching as the liquid turned into a smiling face as if to comfort her.

But all it did was terrify her even more.

“Nightmare. It’s a nightmare. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be in this place.” Alice reached for the curtains, expecting to find a window but to her shock: “A door? It’s so... tiny. Is it for mice?”

She constantly peered over her shoulders before lying down on the floor, dirtying her blue and white dress. Past the door was a garden. She was far too large to fit. She even tried reaching a hand through the door but to matter how hard she tried; the rest of her body couldn’t follow.

The warmth outside caused tears to fall down her cheeks.

Why was this all so familiar to her? It repeated in her head over and over before suddenly:

The sound of shattering wood caused her heart to sink so incomprehensibly deep that all thought disappeared from her mind.

“Breaking the doors... it’s breaking the doors...!” She whispered to herself, holding onto her mouth as she crawled towards the door, desperate to find a way out of this place. “The table. Something on the table has to help me. Someone is chasing me again. I don’t want to be chased.”

Alice heard the figure smash into yet another door. She needed to time it properly to snatch something useful before she could make her escape. But what could help her? She peered through a creak of the door, spotting the shattered table where broken tableware lay scattered on the floor.

There, she spotted a blue potion labeled ‘Drink Me’. It reminded her of a medicine she took because people thought she wasn’t...

... “Wasn’t what...?”

Alice didn’t remember why she took it aside from her headaches, but that didn’t matter now. She prepared herself to sneak out as soon as the next door was broken through. She held her breath and heard another door break, but she hesitated and clawed at the wooden door.

“I can’t... I can’t... I-I... C-Can I really do it? Mother... Ara... Help me. Someone. P-please –!”

Another door broke. The figure was close to reaching hers. Alice was on the verge of breaking down, before suddenly, she heard a voice whisper to her.

The White Rabbit spoke, but as soon as she turned around, the entity disappeared. Alice was confused. Was it not the White Rabbit who brought her here? The one who sent her to the lair of the scary figure?

Why would it ask such a thing?

Alice shivered. Not because she was frustrated or afraid, but because she felt a strange tingly course through her. Suddenly, she began to grow until she reached past the canopies. Up there, she was met with an endless forest where colorful birds flew above, and where the clouds were a soft shade of pink.

They made all sorts of faces, and she could have sworn that the sun even smiled at her.

And yet despite how pleasant everything appeared, she couldn’t help but to feel an overbearing sense of terror. It was not towards the world, but instead, towards herself.

“This... Who... Is this...?” She began to weep, depressed over her bodily transformation, dropping to her knees. Her shoulders toppled entire trees as the ground quaked. “Is this... how Ara felt... that day when he came back...? All those bottles...”

Alice felt like a stranger to herself, unable to shake the alien feeling away. Lakes were created by her falling tears. She kept comparing herself to Ara, who openly despised himself because of his unwanted changes.

“I don’t want to be like this! I don’t want to be big or small! I just want to be me! Who... am I right now!?” Alice began testing her knowledge to prove that she was ‘Alice’, reciting the names of family members.

However, the people she recited belonged to no one she recognized. Alice was shaken, the lake becoming an ocean.

“Th-That can’t... I’m not –! I’m Alice! I’m Alice!” She desperately tried to convince herself.

This place was no wonderland. The White Rabbit lied when it said it was a paradise. If anything, it was hell, but Alice still couldn’t understand this. She was only a child and was confused by everything around her.

She just wanted to go back to being Alice.

To being comfortable.

To be in control of what she sees.

Suddenly, her body began to shrink again. The more tears she shed, the faster her body shrunk. Soon, she was back to her normal size. That was until she shrunk further, and before she knew it, she found herself underwater.

When she swam back up to the top –

“Pwah! W-Where... Am I now...?”

– She found herself in the center of a great lake.