CH 62

This time, Pei You’s business trip was to the southwestern provinces. He mainly cooperated with several towns in the area, conducting risk assessments and internal control evaluations of their internal operating systems. Rather than auditing, it was more like a semi-cooperative, semi-educational endeavor.

Working with official partners was always different from usual. The working habits and efficiency of the partners didn’t match those of Pei You and his team. As an external working group, they had to adjust their pace according to the local situation, which meant they had to be on standby all the time. They had more meetings than meals.

Zhou Qingbo had confessed feelings to Pei You hastily and carelessly, and he hadn’t yet adjusted to their new way of interacting. He felt awkward, and coincidentally, these trivial and complicated tasks filled up all of Pei You’s time. Therefore, Zhou Qingbo didn’t chat with him daily like he used to. Instead, he reduced their frequency of communication, exchanging only a few greetings of good morning and good night.

However, with reduced communication, he didn’t feel any better. Zhou Qingbo couldn’t sleep at night, was absent-minded at work, and even stopped going to Black Bar. He seemed burdened, and even Zhou Cangshan, his elder brother, felt that something was off about him. He secretly asked Jiang Man about it multiple times.

After the third time Jiang Man came snooping for information, Zhou Qingbo finally realized things were so hectic, so reluctantly, he called Ge Xing.

“Would you like to come out for a drink tonight?” Zhou Qingbo got straight to the point, “I’ll treat you.”

“Hey, long time no see.” Ge Xing’s tone fluctuated, sounding like an old bawd imitating different tones. He dragged his voice and sighed, “Why did you suddenly think of inviting me for a drink? I thought you were so immersed in the world of romance to have time for anyone else.”

Zhou Qingbo also knew that his declaration of being a “single advocate” was still fresh in everyone’s memory. Then, after just a few months, he openly confessed in front of everyone, completely contradicting his previous statement. No wonder Ge Xing teased him.

He was in the wrong, so he swallowed his retort. He pushed his chair back and swiveled it half a circle, relying on the wide backrest. He said half-heartedly, “I have plenty of time. I wanted to consult you about some issues.”

“Hmm?” Ge Xing only caught on to the situation now. His tone changed, and he was puzzled, “What’s with this tone? Has your recent love life hit a rough patch?”

Ge Xing paused for a moment and wondered, “Weren’t you two just hitting it off?”

“What love life? It hasn’t even started yet,” Zhou Qingbo corrected.

“…You guys are something else,” Ge Xing said helplessly, “You just confessed, but now you’re not hurrying to get things going? Why are you both acting like high school students in love?”

“In short, I can’t explain it in detail over the phone.” Zhou Qingbo clicked his tongue, reached up to pinch his nose bridge, and vaguely said, “Just tell me if you’re available.”

“I’m available,” Ge Xing said. “Let’s meet tonight then.”

To make it to the evening appointment with Ge Xing, Zhou Qingbo worked an extra shift for the first time in his life. He finally shut down his computer and headed out at eight-thirty in the evening.

He took a taxi to Black Bar, but he didn’t appear on the ground floor. Instead, he went directly up the stairs to the second floor through the kitchen and entered Ge Xing’s “Second Boss Private Room.”

Ge Xing was already waiting in the private room. When Zhou Qingbo pushed the door open and walked in, the table was already set with drinks and a fruit platter, giving off an air of settling in for a long chat.

Without much formality, Zhou Qingbo took a seat on the sofa and immediately opened a bottle of whiskey.

Ge Xing looked at him curiously, then casually threw a melon seed at him. Jokingly, he said, “Hey, don’t drink too much and then come asking me for Pei You again. I won’t call him this time.”

It was as if Zhou Qingbo’s body had a radar for keywords. Upon hearing “Pei You,” his hand trembled for a moment, and he subconsciously opened his mouth, as if he wanted to say something. However, in the end, nothing came out.

“What’s going on?” Ge Xing, munching on melon seeds, asked curiously. “Didn’t you just confess? What happened? Did he reject you?”

“You’re the one who got rejected,” Zhou Qingbo instinctively retorted.

“Since you didn’t get rejected, why are you drowning your sorrows in alcohol here?” Ge Xing asked. “Mourning the loss of your single life?”

“… Not really,” Zhou Qingbo put down the glass and leaned back on the sofa, hesitated for a moment, and said in a halting tone, “I just feel a bit awkward. Suddenly, I don’t know how to interact with him.”

When Zhou Qingbo hadn’t realized his feelings, he had acted however he wanted around Pei You, not caring about anything. But now that the window paper was broken, he had become cautious, even considering his choice of words and tone before sending a text to Pei You.

This change made him uncomfortable and uneasy. Zhou Qingbo didn’t want this change in mindset to affect how he interacted with Pei You, but he couldn’t self-adjust. So, he had felt awkward all the way up to now.

“I understand.” Ge Xing said casually, “It’s not a big deal, a common ailment of older virgins.”

Zhou Qingbo said, “Get lost!”

“I’m being serious,” Ge Xing chuckled nonchalantly and said, “Who wouldn’t want to present themselves better in front of someone they like? It’s normal—besides, you didn’t behave properly before anyway. Pei You is used to your antics. It’s too late to change now.”

Ge Xing tapped his chin and added, “You know, sometimes people might actually like that kind of behavior.”

“…,” Zhou Qingbo was at a loss for words.

Ge Xing’s banter had transitioned into something serious, and Zhou Qingbo rolled his eyes at him, then slumped onto the sofa, saying, “Being friends and being in a romantic relationship are two different things. With friends, you can joke around without worry, especially when you’re not constantly together. There’s natural room to breathe. But with a romantic partner, there’s no room for that. It leaves you wondering, ” What if, over time, you can’t get along anymore?”

Zhou Qingbo had been tormented by these thoughts for a while. He kept talking without waiting for Ge Xing’s response.

“Besides, Pei You is so ambitious. If we start dating, can I keep up with his pace and take on the responsibility of providing him a home? I can’t get married, no security—people like us don’t have an easy life to begin with. I can’t just throw everything onto him.”

He continued, “Add to that our different upbringing and personalities. It’s fine being friends, but if we’re in a relationship and we discover our values don’t align after a while, what do we do?”

“Considering how long a lifetime is, I’m afraid of unforeseen changes,” Zhou Qingbo said.

Moving from friends to lovers, it might seem like a minor step, but the significance is vastly different. Being lovers involves sharing the highest and lowest points, exchanging all emotions and the future, and if even one obstacle isn’t navigated well, the outcome might be a parting of ways.

Closeness turning into distance, openness becoming reserved, speaking about everything turning into not speaking at all—just thinking about these outcomes made Zhou Qingbo feel uncomfortable.

“You’ve seen those couples who used to love deeply but eventually grew apart, right?” Zhou Qingbo blinked and softly said, “I don’t want to imagine the worst, but just in case—”

Ge Xing turned to look at him. The playful smile on his face gradually disappeared in Zhou Qingbo’s sincere words, replaced by an emotion Zhou Qingbo couldn’t quite understand.

He looked at Zhou Qingbo deeply, his eyes filled with a complexity that was hard to explain.

“What should we do then?” Ge Xing asked in return, “Tell him clearly? Disregard your drunken words?”

Zhou Qingbai fell silent for a long time.

Clearly, this thought had crossed his mind before, but before it could fully develop, he extinguished it himself.

Love is instinctual, impulsive, visible but uncontrollable. Despite Zhou Qingbo discussing so much, his heart was burdened with practical concerns. Every matter seemed to suggest that ‘love’ wasn’t the best solution, yet he still wanted to get closer to Pei You, still liked him, still wanted to hold his hand, and hoped to never say anything to hurt him in this lifetime.

‘…No.’ And so, Zhou Qingbo said, ‘I can’t do it.’

“In fact,” Ge Xing took a cigarette, vaguely saying, “If you were sixteen or seventeen , you wouldn’t have these concerns.”

The hazy smoke rose in the dim light, obscuring Ge Xing’s features and leaving only his clear voice.

“If you were young, with that fiery enthusiasm, you wouldn’t think so much.” Ge Xing said, “Only adults consider these things.”

“Well it can’t be helped, can it?” Zhou Qingbo said, “Or are you going to use some magic to turn me back into a child?”

Ge Xing’s lips curved, not engaging in their usual banter. Instead, he turned his head and looked at Zhou Qingbo deeply, then took a deep drag from his cigarette.

“But Zhou Qingbo,” Ge Xing said, “adults don’t approach relationships like you do.”

“What do you mean?” Zhou Qingbo asked.

“Adults, they keep it casual. If they like each other, they date; if they don’t, they break up,” Ge Xing said. “They enjoy the moment, keep some distance, and they don’t jump in saying ‘forever’ right away.”

“Other people might be like that,” Zhou Qingbo said, “but if I’m in a relationship, I’m aiming for forever. Why waste their time otherwise?”

His tone was very matter-of-fact, carrying an air of certainty. Ge Xing’s hand trembled as he tapped the ashes off his cigarette, and he couldn’t help but look at Zhou Qingbo again.

“… Zhou Qingbo,” after a while, Ge Xing suddenly sighed, “I didn’t make a mistake as your matchmaker. I’m glad I introduced you to Pei You.”

“What?” Zhou Qingbo asked in confusion, not understanding why Ge Xing suddenly said this without any context.

Ge Xing shook his head, not explaining further.

The impulsive nature of young love is naive, while the stable nature of adult love is cold. However, Zhou Qingbo lay between those two extremes.

He possessed the sincere purity of youth—when he was moved, he held nothing back. Yet at the same time, he was a bona fide adult. He had a sense of responsibility and an awareness of avoiding danger.

Perhaps even Zhou Qingbo himself hadn’t realized that he had long possessed the best qualities for finding true love.

“In any case, this isn’t a big deal,” Ge Xing said with a smile. “No matter how you think about it, either the east wind prevails over the west wind or vice versa. Eventually, there will be an outcome.”

“When will that outcome come?” Zhou Qingbo muttered, his voice muffled.

“Who knows,” Ge Xing said, “maybe someday the heavens will drop a chance on you, and suddenly you’ll wake up and act.”

Originally, Ge Xing intended to just say something offhand to console the anxious pre-wedding nerves of his virgin friend. However, who would’ve guessed that, good intentions aside, he would be awakened by Zhou Qingbo’s call at 4:30 in the morning the next day.

At that moment, the sky hadn’t yet brightened. Ge Xing had just spent the whole night dancing at the nightclub, and his eyelids felt as if they were glued shut. He hadn’t even had a chance to clearly see who was calling before he hit the answer button.

“Hello…”

Before he could finish speaking, Zhou Qingbo’s voice came through from the other end of the line. It was as cold as ice and carried a faint trembling.

“Ge Xing, there’s been an earthquake in the southwest,” Zhou Qingbo took a deep breath and said, “Pei You was on a business trip there, and i can’t reach him—can you lend me your driver?”