CH 80

The tense atmosphere dissipated in Zhou Qingbo’s few words, causing Pei You to smile involuntarily and feel a bit more at ease.

“Alright,” Pei You said softly, “If that’s really the case, I’ll put it in your investment project.”

It must be said that while avoiding reality might not have much substantive significance in changing the situation, it was still very effective in relieving stress. After the brief phone call with Pei You, Zhou Qingbo’s anxious mood gradually calmed.

He had spent the previous night sorting out his assets and barely slept, and today he had gotten a beating. He felt somewhat weak, so after hanging up the call, he lay on the soft bedding for a moment, sighing in relief before falling into a drowsy sleep.

That nap wasn’t very peaceful. Zhou Qingbo’s consciousness seemed to shuttle back and forth between sleep and wakefulness. He felt heavy and numb all over, unable to sleep well or fully wake up.

In a daze, he vaguely heard the sound of the door opening. Someone entered from outside, walked to his bedside, and gently touched his forehead.

The hand was cold, with a distinct touch. Zhou Qingbo shivered slightly from the chill, unconsciously furrowing his brows and pulling back into the covers.

Following that, he heard a deliberately softened female voice beside him.

“You have a fever,” she said.

Zhou Qingbo didn’t know who she was talking to, but after a few seconds, he heard a long sigh beside him.

The sigh was weak and complicated, sounding unusually heavy. Zhou Qingbo subconsciously tried to identify the source of the voice, but before he could fully detach from the haze of sleep, the footsteps beside him had already retreated.

His consciousness blurred for a moment, and he soon sank back into a chaotic slumber. After a while, he gradually emerged from the confusion, hearing someone calling him.

“Qingbo.”

This time, the voice at the bedside was different. Zhou Qingbo furrowed his brows slightly, slowly waking up from the drowsiness, and opened his eyes.

It seemed like he had slept through most of the day. The room was pitch-black now, with only a small night light at the head of the bed emitting a faint glow, trying to illuminate the small area around him.

Zhou Qingbo could see a vague silhouette sitting beside his bed, but he blinked his eyes and only realized who it was after a moment.

“…Mom?” Zhou Qingbo said in surprise, “Why are you here?”

“Shouldn’t I be here?” Liang Ying asked, touching his face gently, and sighed sympathetically, “Such a big matter, your dad didn’t even tell me. He secretly came. If it weren’t for your brother’s call, I wouldn’t have known.”

“Ah, it’s nothing,” Zhou Qingbo smiled, sounding relaxed, “Dad just didn’t want to bother you.”

Zhou Jianguo had lived a rough and tough life, resembling a solid wooden stick. Nevertheless, all the care and delicateness was vested in Liang Ying. He never let her worry about the family’s troubles.

As the saying goes, like father, like son. Over time, Zhou Cangshan and Zhou Qingbo also got used to sparing their mother from worrying. This time, Zhou Cangshan probably couldn’t handle it himself, so he had to make the call to their mum.

“But it shouldn’t be like this,” Liang Ying sighed softly and touched Zhou Qingbo’s head. She spoke in a soft voice, “honey, does your body still hurt?”

Liang Ying came from an intellectual family. She had spent many years in the national theater when she was young. Her speech was always gentle and tender, her personality mild and refined. She had never been known to raise her voice at anyone.

Earlier when Zhou Qingbo was in a bad mood, he had argued with Zhou Jianguo, but now seeing Liang Ying, he immediately calmed down. He felt a bit embarrassed, burying himself deeper in the blanket, saying that he was fine.

Liang Ying had lived a comfortable and smooth life, and she retained a hint of little-girl-like tenderness in her bones. She lowered her head slightly when speaking, gently pulling down the covers at the side of the bed.

“You don’t need to hide it. I already scolded him,” Liang Ying cooed to him like a child, “Your sister-in-law also scolded your brother.”

While Zhou Qingbo felt a bit embarrassed being treated with such a tone by his mother, he also couldn’t help but feel a little happy. Suppressing a smile, he revealed two bright eyes from under the covers.

“Big brother didn’t hit me,” Zhou Qingbo truthfully said, “He stopped dad instead.”

“Why was he so slow with his actions?” Liang Ying said confidently, “Besides, you’re so grown up, how can he still hit you?”

“Let’s not talk about this for now,” Liang Ying smiled and handed him a small tray from the bedside table, “You haven’t eaten all day, and you had a low fever this afternoon. Have something to eat first to fill your stomach, and later you can take your medicine.”

On the tray were several delicate pastries, clearly made by Jiang Man’s hands. Zhou Qingbo sat up, cross-legged on the bed, draped in the blanket. His hand reached out and then hesitated, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” Zhou Qingbo said softly, “I don’t have an appetite.”

“It’s okay,” Liang Ying sighed gently, not pressing him, and simply placed the tray back on the bedside table, “Then eat later. Your brother is going out to buy you some wontons.”

“…,” Zhou Qingbo’s expression wavered.

When Zhou Qingbo was a child, he had a weak immune system and often caught colds and fevers for no apparent reason. However, whenever he fell ill, he would lose his appetite. The only thing he would want to eat was the wontons from outside Dong’anmen. So every time, Zhou Cangshan would go out and buy them for him, rain or shine, and he had been doing so for many years.

“… Is that so?” Zhou Qingbo felt a little uncomfortable in his heart, “I thought big brother was mad at me.”

Bringing up this topic, Zhou Qingbo’s smile faded a bit. His face took on a tinge of sadness, and under the dim light of the bedside lamp, he appeared rather pitiful.

“He’s worried about you,” Liang Ying pulled Zhou Qingbo’s hand over and gently caressed it, speaking softly, “Qingbo, don’t blame your brother, and don’t blame your dad too. They’re both worried about you.”

Liang Ying spoke, pulling the corners of her mouth and whispering, “When I came this afternoon, I saw your dad sneaking into the kitchen wiping tears.”

Zhou Qingbo was slightly stunned.

“What?” Zhou Qingbo couldn’t help but ask.

It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Liang Ying, but Zhou Jianguo’s behavior seemed completely out of character. He believed in the “ironclad education policy” that boys shouldn’t shed tears. Throughout his entire life, no matter how big the situation was, Zhou Qingbo had never seen him cry.

“It’s true,” Liang Ying’s eyes were gentle. She pinched Zhou Qingbo’s hand and sighed softly, “I asked him what happened. He didn’t say much, just suddenly asked me if it was his fault.”

Liang Ying’s voice was soft and tender, as if carrying a certain peaceful magic in this quiet night.

“He asked me if it’s because, when you were young, he was too busy with work and spent too little time with you. That’s why you turned your attention to other men,” Liang Ying said, “I said it wasn’t, but he said that’s what they say online.”

“… Mom,” Zhou Qingbo couldn’t help but softly interrupt her.

Liang Ying kindly stopped and didn’t continue speaking.

Zhou Qingbo couldn’t quite grasp his current emotions. He felt a sort of pain, but it wasn’t sharp. It seemed to mix feelings of injustice, guilt, and many other things he couldn’t name or distinguish. All these things jumbled together and formed a complex emotion, weighing heavily on his heart, making him want to cry.

Until this moment, Zhou Qingbo had never imagined that Zhou Jianguo would say something like this. In his heart, his father had always been a pillar of steel, unyielding and unbreakable, as if cutting and chopping on him wouldn’t leave a mark.

He had never expected Zhou Jianguo to doubt himself one day, to attempt to blame his “mistake” on himself.

Zhou Jianguo’s thinking was stuck in the past four decades. His ideas were stubborn and unbreakable. He didn’t understand what “homosexuality” meant and still thought it was “abnormal.” The only thing he seemed to know was that this was definitely not just Zhou Qingbo’s “fault.”

“Sorry, Mom,” Zhou Qingbo lowered his head, saying softly, “I…”

“No need to apologize, darling,” Liang Ying moved closer and embraced Zhou Qingbo, just like when he was a child. She gently patted his arm and comforted him, “He’s your father, and he should be responsible for you.”

“But it’s not his fault,” Zhou Qingbo paused and continued, “And it’s not my fault either—I just love someone, that’s all.”

“I know,” Liang Ying smiled and said, “I’m not as old-fashioned as your dad.”

Liang Ying patted Zhou Qingbo’s arm and said softly, “But Qingbo, I also don’t agree with this.”

“Mom…” Zhou Qingbo softly objected, “I’m serious about him.”

“I know, but Mom has thought this through too,” Liang Ying spoke softly and gently, “You’re still too young, and you don’t know how far the future stretches. This path you’ve chosen is too difficult. Have you thought about it? You and him have no official legal relationship either. Even if you can last five years, ten years, what if you break up someday? You won’t even have someone to rely on. I can’t see you hurt.”

“Even if I was straight and had a girlfriend, there’s still a risk of breaking up,” Zhou Qingbo said, “People also divorce even after having children.”

“It’s not the same, honey,” Liang Ying said warmly, “The ‘consequences’ you face in these two scenarios are completely different.”

Zhou Qingbo furrowed his brows, not understanding Liang Ying’s meaning.

“Human beings are social creatures, and ultimately, we can’t live entirely on our own island,” Liang Ying said, “That’s how the world is now. After all, feelings between boys are not widely accepted.”

Liang Ying paused for a moment, hugging Zhou Qingbo a bit tighter, and continued, “If you were to marry a woman, even if there are problems in your relationship, people would encourage reconciliation, they would hope you’d maintain family stability. In such a case, as long as you have some feelings left for each other, you might be able to mend the relationship. But if you’re with a guy, when you break up, everyone will applaud and congratulate you for ‘turning back to normal.’ By then, if you have even the slightest dissatisfaction, you’ll fall apart.”

“Sometimes, a person’s decisions teeter on that fine line,” Liang Ying said. “A little push, or a little pull, and you’ll move in a different direction.”

“What gender your partner is actually doesn’t matter,” Liang Ying said. “What’s important is everything that’s hidden behind this.”

Zhou Qingbo wasn’t in his rebellious phase anymore. He could understand Liang Ying’s words, and he genuinely knew she made sense. Whether it was her, Zhou Cangshan, or Zhou Jianguo, regardless of their starting points, they all wanted what was best for him. Zhou Qingbo understood that.

However, even with this understanding, Zhou Qingbo had his own perspective on this matter, one he couldn’t step back from or compromise on.

“I know, Mom,” Zhou Qingbo said earnestly, “I don’t know if you’ll believe me when I say this, but I’ve thought about all this too. I believe I can bear the consequences and I’m willing to bear them.”

“Moreover, even if I’m unwilling, there’s no way around it, I have no choice.” Zhou Qingbo chuckled bitterly, shrugged his shoulders, and said, “I really just like men.”

“Are you sure?” Liang Ying asked in a warm tone.

“yes.” Zhou Qingbo affirmed.

“So—” Liang Ying asked softly, “That guy… is he good?”

“Very good.” Zhou Qingbo answered quickly, “I genuinely want to spend my life with him.”

“Alright then, I respect your decision and trust your judgment.” Liang Ying touched his sweaty forehead and said, “But I have to tell you, my attitude still remains unsupportive, but if you’re certain, then I won’t oppose it. After all, you’ve grown up and have the right and freedom to make your own life choices.”

“Thank you, Mom,” Zhou Qingbo said softly.

He didn’t feel deflated; for him, Liang Ying’s attitude was already enough. After all, as parents, they always had the right to worry about him.

“But…” Zhou Qingbo hesitated a bit, “Regarding Dad…”

“I speak for your dad, nor will I interfere with his decision,” Liang Ying said with a slightly mischievous smile, teasing him, “You deal with him yourself.”