Chapter 9: Everyone Can Meditate Except Me

Chapter 9: Everyone Can Meditate Except Me

Amitabha, my mind is calm.

Amitabha, I am one with the world.

Amitabha, drive out worldly desires.

Amitabha, Shigure stops looking at me as I try to meditate.

Shortly after obtaining the 10% ki energy to supplement the Rasen, I began to practice meditation.

It is important to maintain a balance between physical training and mental training. If you only depend on strength and instincts to fight then it is difficult to enter the Expert class and impossible to reach the Master level.

Physically I am at the mid-level Expert level, my techniques are at the top of the High-class Disciple level, only my consciousness is at the bottom of the High-class Disciple, which has started to limit my development.

The members of the Ryozanpaku think that my problem is that I have not had enough experience of battles so my mind has not tempered, but I know what the real problem is.

My mind and heart are out of sync.

Many times I have had to make decisions that go against what I want, things like staying away from people I liked because of how problematic my life is.

Another thing is that, despite trying to be a rational and civilized person, my true nature is that of an impulsive and violent idiot. There have been several occasions where my mind says "Luis No!" But my heart screams "Luis Yes !!".

This has brought me several problems that I prefer not to remember.

When you use reason to suppress instinct, chaos arises. This is why animals are happier than humans, they just have to stick to their instinctual impulses without thinking about things like moral values.

Having the ability to reason is more of a burden than a benefit.

I had not cared about the internal conflict that occurred inside me, normally I only needed alcohol and women to stop worrying about a possible existential crisis.

However, now that I have become involved with the world of martial arts I can understand how dangerous an internal conflict is for a martial artist.

According to Kensei, when the will, ideals, and desires collide with each other is when a "demon of the heart" is born. In my opinion, it is an exaggerated name.

If I have a demon of the heart then my growth will be limited and it is possible to deviate into an abyss that will corrupt my essence as a person.

Stories of people developing split personalities, schizophrenia issues, or complete dementia gave me the creeps. I may not be the sanest and kindest guy, but I don't want to start talking in the third person while threatening to kill all 9 generations of a woman just for rejecting me, that sounds sick.

I started researching a meditation method that was right for me. Contrary to what people usually believe, meditation is not just sitting cross-legged and reciting Buddhist chants, the point of meditation is concentration and emptying of the mind.

A painter can meditate by focusing on the canvas while he ignores the rest of the world. A pianist can meditate while playing a piece of music while all his attention is focused on the music. As long as you can focus your whole mind on yourself while closing your senses then you can meditate.

Meditation is different for each person, even among Buddhists it is necessary to make small adjustments in the ways they meditate, things from the rhythm of breathing, posture, or singing speed, there are always small distinctions between each person.

I tried to recreate meditation methods that I read in different books and I have to say, I suck at this.

Although I have the talent for meditation, it is the lowest among my traits being low level and only at 10%. I can relax my body, control my pulse and calm my breathing, the problem is concentration.

I am unable to achieve complete focus on myself, my mind is always alert to the stimuli around me, I can even distinguish the movement of a flea through the fur of a dog. It sounds amazing but it's a fucking hassle, I can never relax and always feel irritated, plus I have some insomnia issues.

I tried to use fighting as my meditation method but I focus entirely on my opponent, not myself.

I asked the Ryozanpaku masters for advice on a method of meditation and I must say that these guys are martial artists from head to toe.

Shio, Karate master maintains a squatting posture while doing breathing exercises. This improves the control of his force to the point that he can hit a glass of water to make the liquid move without damaging the container, it is an excellent technique to do internal damage to the enemy and if it weren't because Shio is from the fist of life, it could kill someone by destroying their organs.

Kenichi is not a bad guy, but his loose mouth brings me a lot of trouble. Sometimes I think it's his revenge for Miu's growing feelings for me.

I'm afraid that at this rate it won't be long before Miu goes from 'it catches my attention' to 'I like it'.

I really don't like Miu as she is an irrational woman who hits others for no reason, her jealousy made her want to hit me for bathing with Shigure even though I am technically the victim.

Unless something happened to make her docile, I have no plans to include her in my harem. Sorry Hayato, but Akisame is the winner.

I am mentally tired from everything I have to do, on the one hand, I must win the hearts of Shigure and Kaname while making sure to look like a dense idiot without allowing them to lose interest in me.

If I really don't show the slightest interest in they may be frustrated and instead of loving me, they will resent me.

I am also looking for other candidates for my harem. The Valkyries that work for Kaname are an option since they will listen to Kaname as blind fanatics, if I catch Kaname and play my cards well I will be able to have the Valkyries as servants.

Even if they enter my harem they will be just filler since they do not attract me.

Speaking of attraction, I've found that quests only appear when I'm interested in a woman with an important destiny or outstanding beauty.

Although I had not planned to maintain a relationship with Lin Ruioxi, I cannot deny that she has been the most beautiful woman I have seen besides that I had just slept with her, it is normal to feel attracted.

Shigure needs no explanation. With Kaname, I got another mission after our first date as I found out how nice dating her can be because of how calm she is without having a communication problem like Shigure.

[Mission: Purpose of a warrior

Kaname Kugatachi has the heart of a true martial artist. Her goal in her life is to show that women can be as strong as men.

Help her become the strong woman of her dreams as you win her maiden heart.

Success conditions:

1) Make Kaname Kugatachi reach High-Class Disciple level (0/1)

2) Gain the affection of Kaname Kugatachi (1/1)

3) Convince her to join your harem (0/1)

Failure conditions:

1) Kaname Kugatachi quits martial arts (0/1)

2) Rejection of Kaname Kugatachi (0/1)

Reward: 1 Martial Arts Uniform, 1 Gift of Love]

I won't earn much for getting Kaname but I am attracted to this woman enough to ignore the rewards.

It wasn't a surprise to have Kaname's affection as she shows signs of infatuation, but she doesn't seem to have the courage to declare what I'm grateful for or it would all be troublesome. Yet another reason to love her.

I feel like it was easy to win her over, I still don't get Shigure's affection since she herself is confused about her feelings. She wants to get close to me, but at the same time, she seems nervous that I may reject her feelings.

Once you know her well enough, it's easy to understand what she's thinking, so I don't have to worry about Shigure declaring his feelings for me before making my preparations for the mess I'll make.

As for Miu, I haven't received a mission from her as I don't like her jealous attitude. I prefer a crazy woman who wants to stab me for dating other women rather than a violent woman who wants to hit me because a woman smiles at me.

The problem blonde aside, my plans are going well. Thanks to Kaname I have understood the Ragnarok group and indeed they are just troublesome children who do not want them in their homes. I could join them... No, they are too childish.