Chapter 321: Idiots are obstacles…

Chapter 321: Idiots are obstacles...

(Umaru Perspective) (Himouto! Umaru-chan)

So far we haven't had a problem completing Gantz's quests, although I hate that Esdeath and Mei Xueyan forced me into most of the quests.

Gantz's Japan is very similar to Japan I know, so we were able to get some video games.

I wanted to play Mario Kart with Ina while the other waifus took out the aliens, but Mei Xueyan keeps saying that I need to learn to protect myself. She even wanted me to learn about immortal cultivation, but the thought of being struck by lightning scares me, so I refused.

Even though I hate fighting, I tried to see things as video games and started having fun.

Using Gantz's weapons to kill aliens is similar to playing The House of the Dead in the arcade version, so I started having fun, though Medaka is getting more and more worried as she noticed that aliens also have feelings, friends, and family.

Mirko was able to loosen her moral limits to kill the aliens without hesitation, but Medaka seems more depressed by the day.

I'm worried that she might have a depressive breakdown, so I started spending more time with her.

I don't know how to cheer people up, and I don't even know how to deal with my own problems, but Medaka's mood improved since I taught her some comedy series and offered her food.

Paranoia-chan and Navi said that it won't be long before my brother shows up, so I'm less reluctant to share my food... But the fries are only mine!

Even though I have enjoyed these days, the quiet days make me think of my brother, mother, and Ebina so I feel a little sad. I also have some friends on the internet and I miss them.

Fortunately, the melancholy lasts a short time as I have fun with the waifus around me.

My resentment towards Ina has diminished a lot and I am having fun humiliating her in video games.

Heh, not even a Lovecraftian creature can't beat me in Mortal Kombat!

My heart feels better when Ina makes sad sounds. I think I'm developing some sadistic tastes....

Outside of my peaceful life, I continue to do my best to fulfill the mission Navi gave me.

The waifus are head over heels in love with my brother's food, but that's not enough for all of them to agree to be my sisters-in-law, though Kiss-Shot seems close to accepting since she can't live without the donuts my brother makes anymore.

One strange thing is that Kiss-shot drank my blood when we met Ina, but I didn't turn into a vampire and she didn't turn into a loli which was disappointing. I wanted to see little Shinobu Oshino...

According to Paranoia-chan, my brother's food made me immune to genetic and spiritual modification, so I can't be corrupted and transformed into other races.

That's depressing, I wanted to be a vampire to play video games at night while I sleep during the day... On second thought, that's already my lifestyle.

Anyway, Kiss-Shot is the fourth closest waifu to being my sister-in-law.

In third place is Eto and in second is Esdeath.

I don't know how Navi did it, but that noisy fairy brought a USB stick with various videos of my brother's exploits.

Navi is quite smart despite being a complete jerk. He brought different videos and ranked them based on each waifu's personality, then had each waifu watch the videos that were most suitable based on his interests, personality, and goals.

Paranoia-chan and Navi haven't told me all the ridiculous things my brother has done, but what little I did see made me feel a mixture of pride and concern.

Only Ina and I watched all the videos while the rest of the waifus only watched the videos selected based on their individual personalities.

Together with Mirko, I watched my brother face off against an endless army of soldiers in feudal-era Chinese garb but with sci-fi weapons. Although my brother seemed like a hero because of the way he protected innocent people, he had to sacrifice hundreds of people in order to protect thousands.

Frankly, I think that this video is a setup, my brother wouldn't do something as stupid as risking his life to protect people he doesn't know.

Despite my skepticism, Mirko became more interested in meeting my brother. It seems that my brother's strength and fighting style caught the rabbit waifu's attention.

Well done, brother!

With Medaka I saw that my brother fought against Buddha to protect the people of China. That scene made Medaka forget a bit about her growing depression, now she seems to idolize my brother for his strength and heroism.

So my brother went to China to kill a god... I know he's an atheist, but that was exaggerated.

Next to Eto, I saw something totally bizarre. My brother turned into a grim reaper-like creature, then faced off against a group of isekai heroes while his body formed all sorts of weird attacks like creating weapons out of his body, instant regeneration, and altering the weather through vibrations.

I don't know if my brother turned into a monster or if these are better special effects than Hollywood ones, I just know that Eto seemed excited when my brother's robe spread and devoured thousands of people.

My brother turned into a Bloodborne monster... I'm worried that I'm not worried, I just think my brother is cool.

With Kiss-Shot I saw something similar, only this time my brother destroyed an entire kingdom instead of facing a group of generic heroes. Kiss-Shot was laughing out loud when my brother started beheading the enemies...

Again, I am concerned that this seems normal to me in my brother.

Together with Yoruichi, I saw my brother purify thousands of evil spirits to allow them to go to the afterlife in peace. I'm sure my brother earns something from it since he won't do good things for free.

Now the nekomimi waifu is very curious about my brother's abilities, I even heard her muttering that he would be very helpful in defeating Aizen... I'm not sure, but I think she let me hear her muttering so that I could convince my brother to help her.

I have to convince my brother to hit Aizen! Yoruichi-oneesama must be canon!

The most impressive video was the one I watched together with Mei Xueyan. In that video, my brother showed that he has talent as a terrorist, and the worst thing, he was in a Buddhist sect as big as the universe.

There were many things that I couldn't see from the video, according to Paranoia-chan, that was because my mind is still unable to process a certain level of information, but the little that I could understand was that my brother summoned a group of apocalyptic monsters to destroy the Buddhist sect.

I honestly have no idea what I saw in that video, but Mei Xueyan and Ina were totally pale as they stared at the video. Ina seemed much more scared and she didn't want to tell me what she saw in that video, she said that my mind wouldn't be able to take the information and Paranoia-chan confirmed that.

Mei Xueyan started referring to my brother as a senior and said that it would be an honor for her to be the concubine of such an impressive existence.

I was worried that Mei Xueyan had turned into an idiot SIMP, but luckily she maintained a haughty attitude of superiority. She said that only the senior (my brother) was worthy of her respect, although she still treats me like her younger sister which makes me happy.

Outside of the chat room waifus, Navi also sent videos to the Infinite Stratos waifus and Gantz waifus we've met.

The fact that Sei received a porn video made me question Navi's mind...

I honestly didn't want to see my brother in an orgy, but I had to watch the video as I noticed something important.

Highschool of the Dead, Triage X, Resident Evil, Maken-Ki.... Why did my brother have an orgy with the waifus from those series?!

I know my brother has a milf fetish, but I didn't think he would go this far to form a harem of anime and video game milfs.

I really need to talk to my stupid brother, there's a long list of waifus that I want to call sister-in-law... Ahem, I mean, my brother needs to be more responsible with his sex life, yeah, that.

Come to think of it, can my brother contract some disease like magical AIDS?

Well, he slept with zombie waifus, he should be fine.

Now I am sure that he is healthy which makes me happy, but I am worried about his mental health. Associating with so many women must have given him a terrible migraine and I'm worried that so much stress is making him suicidal.

It wouldn't be the first time that he seemed to want to die just to rest...

I sighed, again I'm falling into depressive thoughts.

"Ina, you're supposed to talk to me when I start to get depressed" – I sighed and kept looking at my notebook.

I am organizing my ideas to carry out the plan to form my brother's harem.

So far we have completed almost all the missions without casualties so our group has grown quite a bit. Even if people don't die, Gantz will still bring the characters from the original manga.

The next mission will be the Osaka arc, so I have to think carefully about how to do things.

The aliens are stronger than in the manga, but that's not a problem, my biggest problem is making the waifus marry my brother.

Among Gantz's waifu, the one I'm most interested in being my sister-in-law is the most difficult waifu to convince to accept the marriage contract.

Reika Shimohira is an exceptional waifu, but there is nothing that makes her feel attracted to my brother, in fact, most of the Gantz waifu have no reason to agree to marry my brother since their lives have not been in danger...

Quite frankly, the quests have been easy as the waifus in the chat room got several PowerUPs after the fight against Ina.

For example, Esdeath could single-handedly cause an ice age on the entire planet, while Kiss-Shot is Saitama with hair and big breasts.

Almost all of our group became extremely strong, the only ones still considered a bit weak are Mirko, Yoruichi, Hiroki, and me.

Well, I'm extremely weak, I'm basically the team's mascot, and my only job is to be cute and give the food. I'm not complaining, I like work that doesn't require fighting.

Mirko has gotten quite strong, but she seems to have reached the limit of her physical capabilities, so now she is trying to improve her techniques to make up for the lack of destructive power.

Yoruichi just joined us so she's technically the rookie, but her long experience in Soul Society makes her a dangerous warrior, even though she was still easily beaten by Eto and Esdeath. They both enjoy hitting other people....

Yoruichi is very angry with Esdeath and Eto, so she is training to improve her speed. By the way, it seems that the chat room changed Yoruichi's tributes so that she can interact with the world as a living person would, although her attacks have an additional attribute of spirit damage.

Lastly, Hiroki continues to pretend to be weak.

Paranoia-chan told me that Hiroki's current strength is only inferior to Ina's. That idiot could defeat Mei Xueyan, but he keeps pretending to be weak in order to generate cuteness and sympathy in the waifus.

He is so stupid that he hasn't noticed that all the waifus look at him with disgust since he is a sexual harasser. Even Medaka and Mirko are thinking of taking him to prison for sexual harassment crimes.

Fortunately, the idiot hasn't managed to abuse my friends, but that jerk already tried once.

The night I went to talk to Mirko, she was pissed that the fucking jerk tried to use aphrodisiac pheromones to make the sexy bunny go into heat.

Mirko was not affected by the aphrodisiac, but she could smell the pheromones and understand Hiroki's intentions.

Since then, Mirko hits Hiroki whenever she sees him. The bad thing about this is that the idiot with the protagonist complex thinks Mirko is tsundere and secretly loves him.

Hiroki's brain is so rotten that he sees a fantasy version of the world, that idiot is unable to recognize his mistakes and flaws.

.... Ah.... That is the same description that my brother made of our mother...

I hope my brother can reconcile with mom. I love you both and my greatest wish is that our family can be together, with the exception of my father, it would be wonderful if that man did not exist.

Always looked down on me, there was even one time when he was very drunk and tried to do something to me. Fortunately, my brother arrived on time and broke that disgusting man's nose, but my mother slapped my brother for hitting our father....

Looking at it like this, it will be difficult to make the two of them reconcile...

What depress...

I sighed. – "Ina, you are not helping me"

I looked at my partner, but I only saw that she was totally frozen with a pale face. She was much more afraid compared to when she saw the video of my brother in the Buddhist sect...

Wait a minute... It's all been too quiet...

"N-Navi..." – I spoke in a low voice.

There was no answer.

Paranoia-chan!

...

There is no answer either.

Ina's terrified eyes are looking behind me... Something scary is behind me...

"You are rude to call me something, I am just the perfect and adorable kohai of my beloved senpai"

My body began to shake, my legs lost strength and I almost fell to the ground.

That voice was sweet and conveyed nice feelings, but the presence behind me is so terrifying that I'm having a hard time breathing.

"Teehee, I'm sorry, it's just that I have a hard time containing my presence when I'm in a bad mood... and right now I'm very... very angry...."

.... Paranoia save me!

"Oh little otaku, don't worry, I won't hurt you, senpai would hate me if I hurt you... But these idiots have caused a lot of trouble..."

I was able to muster a great deal of courage and turned around, though my legs lost strength and I fell to the ground.

Behind me was a beautiful woman with beautiful purple hair that almost reached her feet, big breasts, and a mischievous smile. Although she looked like a beautiful waifu with a penchant for pranks, her beautiful red eyes of hers made my heart scream in terror.

"Oh come on, I'm not that scary" – The woman let out a small laugh, but the strange tentacles behind her tightened her grip on Navi.

"Fucking bitch let go of me! I am the protagonist and I will not be humiliated by a pathetic SIMP!" – Navi shouted with joy, but that caused the tentacles to be covered in purple light and then they tightened their grip on her. – "Muahahaha, your cheap imitation of Sadism cannot harm me, only the fucking dog can hurt me! Your skills are as flawed as the figures they sell on AliExpress!"

I am not understanding what is happening...

I quickly opened the chat room, but my chat room was covered with a big red alert screen.

[Oops, looks like the server is down. Please try again later, teehee~]

I swallowed hard. That is very scary...

BB-chan must be the strongest person in the multiverse...

"Meh, I'm not even in the top 50, there are a lot of idiots much stronger than me" – BB-chan shrugged, then smiled. – "But even they say I'm dangerous, tch, I'm just an adorable and harmless kohai~"

The multiverse stopped being exciting and became a terrifying place...

"Senpai said something similar when we met... what beautiful memories" - BB-chan showed a smile full of love, although her look reminds me of a yandere...

"Anyway, make an effort or your friends will die in the most horrible way you can imagine" – BB-chan smiled kindly and patted my shoulder. – "I will only help when the administrator appears so you must solve your problems on your own, although Paranoia and Navi will continue to support you... Oh, I almost forgot something"

BB-chan quickly moved her hand and her fingers dug into Ina's forehead...

INA!!

"Don't worry girl, I'll only kill her if you fail in your mission" – BB-chan smiled and pulled her fingers out of Ina's forehead, although now there was a disgusting worm in her hand... That disgusting thing has a face human...

It does not matter. I looked at Ina and was relieved to see that she was okay, she just seemed a little confused.

"Hey asshole, stop pretending you're asleep" – BB-chan split the worm in half.

"N-Nice to meet you, great lord of space and reality..." – The worm had the voice of an old man full of fatigue. – "I never imagined that my insignificant existence would be blessed with the venerable presence of The Render of the Veils..."

Was that thing inside Ina?

How disgusting...

Ina seemed to think the same since her face was green, and she seemed to want to vomit.

Wait a minute... The Render of the Veils...

Oh god... The outer god Daoloth?!

"Heh, I thought your sister killed you because you kept insisting that they should expand your father's bloodline... You disgusting old siscon" – BB-chan seemed to be having fun.

"My sister has slandered my good name... I just want to expand my father's lineage and she has the best compatibility with our lineage..." – The worm sounded like a rapist trying to justify his actions. – "Before my father disappeared, he planned to use my sister as an incubator for new Great Old Ones... As R'lyeh's heir, it is my duty to fulfill the will of my late father..."

"The idiot octopus isn't dead, he just disappeared" – BB-chan had sneered.

"Regardless of that, my responsibility is to bring a new generation to R'lyeh" – The worm tried to sound noble, but it only increases my disgust with every word he says.

"And for that you thought of reincarnating as a girl?" – BB-chan was having fun.

"That human has an impressive compatibility with Madness, even the Necronomicon created by the glorious Crawling Chaos has recognized that human as a suitable creature to be a vessel" – The worm tried to sound like someone intelligent... He is more repulsive than Hiroki. – "A long time ago I found old books where it is shown how to remodel one's own flesh to create a container capable of inseminating my sister, with some time I will be able to turn the human into a suitable container... I pray to the supreme Daoloth to help me reborn and capture my sister, I will take an oath of allegiance and be the most loyal servant, I will also make sure that my future children are devoted servants of the supreme"

Ina had a bad expression, she seemed to be on the verge of a panic attack. I hugged her tightly and prayed that BB-chan wouldn't do something horrible.

I'm an atheist, but this is the kind of situation where I wish there was a kind god...

"Hey Listen! Let's torture this little shit! No one can covet my partner's women! Only my partner can inseminate waifus in this bullshit story!" – Navi had freed himself from the tentacles and was now facing BB-chan's face.

"Insolent creature! How dare you be disrespectful in front of the supreme?!" – The worm spoke furiously. – "I beg the supreme to destroy that creature, his words are a heresy to the glory of the supreme!"

"Hey Listen! Muahahahahaha, not even the author's depression can beat me! I am invincible!" – Navi shouted with joy.

Navi often yells bullshit about stories and authors so I'm used to him bullshit by now. Paranoia-chan said that he turned like that because my brother hit him too much.

BB-chan sighed and looked at the worm in annoyance. – "You are just as stupid as your father"

"S-Supreme?" – The worm seemed to have a bad feeling.

"That idiot octopus kept pestering me because he became obsessed with a human on Gaia and he wanted the coordinates of the secret entrance to that world, so I helped him fulfill his wish" – BB-chan's eyes turned red like blood again. – "Oh, idiot octopus, he didn't know that that world has developed defense measures against us... It was so funny when he sent me thousands of messages asking for help... His cries of pain and pleas for help were wonderful~"

The worm seemed to be terrified.

"Don't worry, I won't hurt you" – BB-chan's smile gave me chills. – "I'll just make a little harmless prank on you~"

The worm's body began to writhe. In a second, he turned into an apple, then a rabbit, then a clock, then an accumulation of pixels, then a squirrel...

The worm seemed to have become a Ubisoft bug. Every second, his body changed and distorted, even taking the form of unrecognizable creatures that seemed to have been born with the sole purpose of suffering.

Sometimes the worm turned into inanimate objects, but he screamed horribly every time he turned into a living thing with a mouth.

The pain and suffering in the worm's screams were so horrible that Ina and I backed away, wanting to escape from the place, but our legs were not responding properly and we could only stare at the scene while trembling with fear.

BB-chan was laughing as the worm screamed in an amount of pain that was beyond human comprehension.

I felt something warm on my legs and saw that I had urinated out of fear.

I don't know how much time passed, but finally, BB-chan stopped torturing the worm.

She set the creature down on the ground as her smile continued to grow. I'm not sure, but I think her teeth became sharp...

"I'll give you a chance" – BB-chan took out a nail file and began to polish her nails. – "Give your name and authority to the tentacle girl or I will make a stronger joke on you~"

"S-Supreme..." - The worm sounded like a dying old man. – "If I do that, I will lose all my powers..."

"Yes, you'll be as weak as a normal human, but that's not my problem" – BB-chan shrugged and smiled.

"..." – The worm didn't speak, but his body began to transform again. - "I WILL DO IT!! I WILL DO IT!! PLEASE STOP!!"

The worm muttered something I didn't understand.

Ina closed her eyes and her body was covered with a black substance.

She turned into the same monster that had hit us in Infinite Stratos, but this time she seemed to have her power under her control.

"Good, she will need two days to understand that power, in two weeks she should be able to use 80% of that authority" – BB-chan nodded. – "She is a talented girl, I want to dissect her to analyze her innate talent, but she will be owned by senpai... It's a shame"

Ina seemed to be in a trance. – "..... Lord of the Volcano, The Petrifier, God of the sunken Mu, the Monster on the Peaks......... I am the one who will bring the stone age and suffering to the world.... I am the great Ghatanothoa....."

I don't know if this is a good thing...

"Supreme.... My sister has a power greater than mine... The supreme can capture her and turn her into a useful pet... "– The worm seemed to have withered, but he still has enough energy to drag his sister to hell.

This damn idiot is so obsessed with his sister that he is even willing to cause her the worst torment in order to have her by his side...

There is no doubt, my brother is the best brother.

"Hey Listen! Your sister is already screaming every night as her body is lashed relentlessly!" - Navi began to laugh.

If the worm is Ghatanothoa then his father is Cthulhu. Therefore, his sister should be Cthylla...

My brother captured Cthylla?

BB smiled and a screen appeared in front of her.

On the screen, a video appeared showing a beautiful woman with long black hair that looked like several tentacles. She appears to be Ina's older sister, although that woman is much, much more attractive.

The woman was so beautiful that she could overshadow Mei Xueyan's appearance, but what caught my attention the most was that she was hugging my brother.

"Oh, little brother, come on, play a little with your big sister~"-The woman spoke with a seductive voice that could even shake my heart even though I hate the yuri.

My brother sighed. He was reviewing some documents while the woman hugged his back.

My brother lives up to our Japanese genes as he is obsessed with work.

Normally my brother would ignore the woman to finish his job, but he really has changed.

My brother pushed the documents away from the desk where he was working, then turned to kiss the woman and grabbed her around the waist to sit her on the desk.

Similar to a porn movie with a stupid plot, they both got naked and started having sex.

Ugh, it's too awkward watching my brother's sex life.

"SISTER!!" – The worm screamed with more pain than before. – "NO NOOOOO! SHE BELONGS TO ME! HER BODY BELONGS TO ME! SHE BELONGS TO ME! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!"

"Ahahahahahahahaha!" – Navi and BB-chan started laughing at the worm's screams.

How many Lovecraftian creatures did my brother sleep with?

I do not know what to think.

BB-chan closed the screen which was a relief. It is extremely uncomfortable to see my brother spanking a woman's butt while they are having anal sex...

"Ah, that was great" – BB-chan wiped away the tears of laughter in her eyes, then waved her hand and a birdcage captured the worm, which silenced that idiot's endless screams. – "Well, I'm leaving... Hey Imouto-chan, work hard on your mission or I'll make sure your precious friends suffer more than this idiot~"

I clenched my fists.

I hate Hiroki because he's a jerk, but I think I'll have to use his methods.

I don't want to hurt my friends, nor do I want to cheat or manipulate them... But I will do anything to protect them.

"Okay, that's the attitude" – BB-chan nodded, then looked at my chat screen. – "Paranoia, what I said before was not a lie, your stupidity hurt senpai so you are garbage"

[...:...]

Paranoia-chan's eye seemed to be crying.

I wanted to say something, but BB-chan kept talking. – "Listen to me, idiot, senpai suffered a lot because of you, not because he wasn't able to analyze the enemy's attacks, but because he cares a lot about you... What you did caused him a lot of distress, that's why you're garbage"

[...:...]

"From now on, be more careful with your own safety" – BB-chan disappeared and only her voice remained. – "Senpai really loves you so he will never abandon you... I will kill you if you cause my senpai anguish again"

I didn't know what to say, but Paranoia-chan didn't seem so sad anymore. She was still crying, but I have a feeling that she is happy.

"Hey Listen! Drop the dramatic shit and let's trick waifus into moaning my partner's name!" – Navi threw food at my face. – "First go take a bath, you stink like a bum addicted to fentanyl!"

... I can't believe I peed myself, this is embarrassing.

Ina will be in a trance for two days so she won't be able to fight...

Ah.... Tonight will be the mission in Osaka...

BB-chan knew about it and he wanted to prevent Ina from being able to help me?

Is this a test or is she just playing me?

[...: 2]

The second option...

Brother, your taste for troublesome women is a problem...

Now I understand that the danger mentioned by Navi and Paranoia-chan was not the final boss or the administrator, the real danger that threatens the lives of my friends is BB-chan...

[...: Q-Q]

I understand you, she is terrifying.

Another problem is that Ina won't be able to translate what Paranoia-chan says for me for two days.

Well if I look at this as a video game then things get exciting. It's like increasing the difficulty right before the final boss battle...

This is exciting!

I wonder if there are any hidden rewards for completing the quest on a higher difficulty...

"Hey Listen! Go take a bath idiot, your smell is ruining my food!" – Navi kept throwing food at me.

I sighed and started cleaning the place.

I hate cleaning, but my brother always makes me clean my room so I know how to remove tough stains and odors even from the tatami.

Sometimes I wonder if my brother taught me to clean up or remove corpses...

I prefer not to think about it.