Chapter 383: The author, life, plot, and everything is troublesome…

Chapter 383: The author, life, plot, and everything is troublesome...

No lobotomy was necessary and I didn't even have to hit the jerk. He started saying everything he knew as soon as he felt threatened.

This idiot is called Shinji Matou and he's an irrelevant character in the original plot, or at least that's the way he is in this timeline.

Shinji doesn't fully understand what happened to him, but we understood what happened based on what little information the idiot knows.

Apparently, the Shinji of this timeline is friends with Illya's older brother. He is not a powerful magician, a brave warrior or an intelligent student, he is just a filler character who has some irrelevant dialogues.

Normally he wouldn't matter, but things drastically changed due to the intervention of entities outside of this World.

For starters, Shinji suffered the consequences of the different timelines coming into contact through artificial means.

Shinji is not just an irrelevant guy who is friends with Illya's brother, he is also a puppet who participated in the Grail War where Miyu's brother fought, he is also a mediocre magician who wanted to participate in the contemporary Grail War, he was also one of the citizens of Fuyuki who was killed by a corrupted Servant...

In other words, this Shinji has the combined consciousnesses of the different Shinjis in the different timelines that make up the Fate franchise.

Earlier I spoke with Merlin and Zelretch about the theory that the spatial rifts were attempting to connect multiple timelines, creating the possibility of alternate versions of a single person merging to create one individual with the power and knowledge of the different time lines.

This means that if multiple versions of Illya exist, then sooner or later she will absorb the memories and abilities of the alternate versions of her, which will make her stronger, but there are also many possible side effects.

For starters, the human mind is not designed to handle the stress of dealing with multiple viewpoints and experiences simultaneously. Even wizards with strong mental abilities could develop mental disorders or neural damage, so this is more harm than good.

With Shinji's presence we now know that theory turned out to be true. The idiot is dying and he hasn't even realized it. In fact, his mind didn't break from the stress thanks to a entity placing various defensive abilities in his mind, otherwise Shinji would be in a vegetative state.

Now comes the ridiculous.

For starters, Shinji's current body is actually the body of Shirou Emiya, Illya's older brother and an alternate version of the Servant Emiya I met a time ago.

Apparently, someone used soul manipulation magic to transplant Shinja's soul and mind into Shirou's body, in addition, modifications were made to Shirou's body to improve his magic circuits and thus allow him to use high level magic that is not of this world.

The biological and spiritual alchemy used on Shirou's body is of good quality. It is not at the level of the angeloids, but it is certainly better than the homunculi that the magicians of this World make.

Objectively, Shirou's current body can be considered a prodigy with the potential to be one of the strongest magicians in the Clock Tower, however, Shinji doesn't know how to harness the potential of that body, plus he has been wasting time on stupid things instead of learning magic.

The idiot has been busy showing off and acting like a stupid narcissist who itches to build a harem. Basically he's been wasting time trying to make up for his inferiority complex.

Shinji said that one day he had a dream where a beautiful woman told him that he was the chosen one to rule over everyone, so she gave him spirit magic that was supposed to be comparable to True Magic.

Supposedly there was a supreme God of masculinity who was cowardly ambushed by his enemies, but before dying he managed to send his soul to the reincarnation circle.

Shinji was the reincarnation of that God and it was his divine right to rule the world. The woman used to be one of the endless lovers of that God, so she wanted Shinji to regain his rule over the world, but in order to do so, he needed to conquer the hearts of three elementary school brats since they were the keys that the previous God left to perform a ritual where he could recover all his power.

...Thousands of my brain cells committed suicide when I heard that bullshit story.Ñ00v€l--ß1n hosted the premiere release of this chapter.

According to Nyaruko that was plagiarism of a generic fanfic or some shit like that. I'm glad I don't know it's a fanfic.

Obviously all of that was fucking bullshit that only an utter moron could believe, but Shinji totally accepted it and started his plan to take over the world.

Again, Nyaruko said that it is normal for fanfic protagonists and system users not to question the cause of their skills and just think that they are the perfect protagonists. I really do not care.

Shinji became Shirou five days ago and until now no one has noticed the change since Shirou's father is away, Illya has a great idealization of her older brother and does not see his flaws, the two maids of the family are not interested in the problems of the children and the mother has just returned from a little trip plus she is not a person who pays much attention to her children. They are basically a family with communication problems.

The reason why Shinji became Shirou was because he knew that Illya was a brat with incestuous tendencies, so it would be easier to win her over if he became Shirou, plus he was very jealous of his only friend and he wanted to take his place, and it even seems like they were enemies in other timelines since Shirou is a protagonist in multiple timelines.

That was his only decent idea and I would have done something similar, but he made the mistake of not investigating carefully since the mother and father are experienced magicians, and if Shinji made even one mistake, the parents would know something was wrong.

Shinji could technically now use spirit magic to do soul surgery, but he's useless and asked the woman who gave him abilities for help.

The woman kidnapped Shirou and performed the surgery, then disappeared while she took Shirou's soul and mind.

According to Shinji, the woman left to search for Shinji's divine treasures, but in reality she returned to her secret lair where the demons are gathering to make preparations for war.

By the way, that secret headquarters was already found by BB, so now he is under surveillance to carry out an ambush when necessary.

Anyway, that's the stupid explanation. It's a pathetic and deplorable plan that doesn't match up with the mastermind who planned this world invasion, but that's because it's just a smoke screen.

In reality, Shinji is not the protagonist of the plan, but rather the villain that must be defeated in order for the princesses to fall in love with the hero.

Within the records I found that the demons prepared a protagonist who will be in charge of defeating Shinji. That protagonist the real tool to seduce Miyu, Illya and Chloe, but even that is not a certainty. In fact, there are at least three charming princes ready to make the brats fall in love.

It's honestly a fascinating scheme. It is as if a play were taking place in a huge theater where the true plot is embodied in the stage props and decorations, so concentrating on the characters will only prevent you from understanding the true plot, however, in reality it turns out that the play and the stage are not the real entertainment product, but seeing the reactions of the audience is the real show and everything was designed solely for the entertainment of the director of the play.

It's such a stupid and ridiculous scheme that I love it...

Honestly, I couldn't have seen how stupidly messy this scenario is and I love that. Sometimes it's a bit boring being able to read all the enemy's plans before they go into action.

As entertaining as this is, I'm not going to risk the lives of my family just to turn off my boredom. In that sense, I'm glad Paranoia is back on my mind.

[Paranoia: The analysis to help the master has been completed. Emotion of happiness...]

[Ciel: An abnormality has been detected in Paranoia-sama's mental state. Carrying out a diagnosis... Confirmed: Desire to jump for happiness]

[Paranoia: D-Don't say it!]

It's amazing how I've gotten so used to hearing silly voices in my head that I feel lonely without them...

Returning to the discussion, I frowned after Shinji finished explaining everything he knew.

The idiot spent almost an hour talking as he was constantly trying to justify his own actions using the stupid argument that he too was a victim.

Well, it's an extremely stupid argument, but Illya took a little pity on him.... Ah, this brat is too innocent and kind, though on second thought, that's a more normal reaction for a girl her age.

Sometimes I think I have a hard time interacting with mentally healthy people.

I sighed heavily as I frowned. – "So you don't know the name of the woman who gave you these skills, you don't know where Illya's brother's soul is, you don't know the true intentions of those who gave you skills..."

"I-I d-don't know" – Shinji stammered as he was kneeling on the ground with his forehead pressed to the ground. – "I swear I have told you everything I know! Please do not kill me!"

"You are more useless than PETA and more stupid than a flat earther" – Nyaruko snorted with contempt.

"I don't know, PETA is good for making memes" – Merlin took out a cell phone. - "Look, this is the parody they did to Pokémon"

Zelretch frowned. – "Tch, don't talk to me about them, an idiot wanted to throw red paint at me when I went to an art gallery just because I wore a manticore fur coat"

"Hey Listen! PETA hate furries because furries can fuck with dogs and they can't!" – Navi... you give me so much...

"Actually..." – Nyaruko took out a pair of glasses and was about to continue the stupid conversation, but a furious shout interrupted the stupid joke.

"STOP! Just tell me where my son is!" – Illya's mother yelled furiously.

The woman's name is Irisviel von Einzbern and she is also a character from the Fate franchise.

Throughout the conversation, she had been biting her lip as her nails dug into her palms. She was desperate because Shinji stole her son's identity, she was anxious because she didn't know where her son was, and she was sad because she didn't notice that someone was posing as her son, additionally, she was totally furious because Shinji explained his supposed master plan to get all the women surrounding Shirou.

Shinji was an idiot who was jealous that his friend was always surrounded by beautiful women, so he devised a plan that only a teenage idiot addicted to pornography could think of.

During the nights, Shinji had been placing aphrodisiac incense near the rooms of the women of the house with the exception of Illya since that would ruin the ritual. Because of this, the two maids and the mother have been sexually frustrated and practically masturbate themselves until they pass out every night.

Shinji's idea was to make women feel so desperate that eventually he could rape them and they would enjoy it, thus becoming his sex slaves.

Apparently, he had already tried that in an alternate timeline and things had gone wrong for him, so he decided to re-intern that, but this time he would use aphrodisiacs that could not be detected by magic or other supernatural means.

It was honestly a shitty plan, but it was able to work since Shinji was given contrived plot armor that is focused on sexual acts.

By the way, his fake plot armor was stolen by my title [False Antagonist] and [Kleptomania], but it won't do me any good since my own plot armor is far superior.

Anyway, this whole argument is pathetic.

Irisviel was on the verge of a nervous breakdown from the frustration and pain of not knowing where her son is. She can be an irresponsible and observant mother, but she really loves her children, so this is very painful for her.

I have no problem with helping the milf in order to improve my relationship with Illya and incidentally get the two maids who still haven't come home since they are shopping, however, my new daughter's expression shows that I will have to drink another path.

"Heh, do you really care about your son?" Chloe sneered when she saw the desperation on Irisviel's face, but deep down in her heart, the little girl was so furious that she wanted to cry.

Irisviel clenched her fists tighter. - "Of course! He is my son! "

It's a normal reaction for a mother whose son has just been kidnapped, but for Chloe, this was an attack on her already wounded heart.

Since we arrived at the house, Chloe wanted to be hugged by Irisviel and be recognized as her daughter, but the whole problem was so sudden that Irisviel didn't have time to notice that Chloe was practically Illya's twin. This made the hatred in Chloe's heart rise as she felt that her mother didn't even want to acknowledge her.

"Yeah, sure, you say that, but you're actually happy to no longer have to take care of a teenager..." – Chloe had a scornful look on her face, though the way her legs trembled and her voice showed that she was on the verge of tears. – "You just want to throw away your children so you can continue enjoying your damn peaceful life!"

Irisviel's eyes turned furious and she was about to yell at the little girl, but when she finally saw Chloe's face, all her fury died away as her face paled.

Irisviel is an intelligent woman and seems to have a high level of knowledge about the supernatural world, besides that she is a homunculus, so it is not impossible for her to accept the idea that the little girl in front of her is a homunculus or a clone of Illya.

While most normal people would have trouble accepting her daughter being cloned, Irisviel had a rough idea of what was going on. She looked at me with a complex combination of feelings, but I showed no reaction and continued eating pizza.

"Pass me the ketchup" – Nyaruko extended her right hand in front of me while her left hand held a slice of pepperoni pizza with a melted cheese edge.

"This is Tabasco sauce" – I answered after putting sauce on my pizza.

"Ugh, I hate spicy" – Nyaruko frowned. – "Give me ketchup"

I sighed and took a ketchup bottle from my jacket pocket, then handed it to Nyaruko.

"Do you have condiments in your pockets?" Merlin raised an eyebrow as his hand reached across the table to grab another slice of pizza.

"Hey Listen! The dog is a housewife who is always ready to cook! Nom nom nom" – Navi and his bad habit of talking with his mouth full...

That's right, while the mother and daughter were having a touching reunion, we were eating pizza. Even Zelretch's female disciples joined us and were now eating pizza with expressions comparable to a monk who achieved enlightenment.

"All my life I have been eating garbage, now I have finally known what true food is..." – The blonde girl named Luviagelita Edelfelt was almost crying with happiness as if she had found the purpose in her life, but even in that state, she was eating the pizza with a knife and fork... Her obsession with showing that she is a high class lady seems stupid to me.

"..." – The black-haired girl named Rin Tohsaka couldn't even speak as she was devouring the pizza like a Nigerian child would when seeing a free buffet.

"Tch, your manners are suitable for a hungry animal" – Luviagelita snorted with disdain when she saw Rin.

"HJKSjksasdfjdashfj" – Rin told her that she was a pretentious bitch, but her mouth is full like a hamster and her words are not understandable.

Irisviel frowned. – "I would never hurt my daughter..."

She's regained a bit of her confidence, but her mental state is still weak, so this is a great time for Illya to notice something strange.

"Daughter?" – Illya could no longer contain her confusion and discomfort.

"..." – Irisviel closed her mouth not knowing how to explain the situation. It certainly must be uncomfortable having to explain the truth when her mind and heart are still unsteady.

I frowned when Irisviel couldn't speak. – "Illya is my daughter's friend and she deserves to know the truth"

"T-The truth?" – Illya's anxiety increased, which also increased Irisviel's concern.

I showed anger when Irisviel couldn't speak, so I spoke with more force and a subtle hint of hostility. – "Chloe already told me the story and I understand that maybe there is a misunderstanding, but if you don't tell Illya the truth then I will"

"..." – Irisviel bit her lip.

It's obvious that Chloe's perspective would be tragic and horrible, so Irisviel was worried that Illya would misunderstand the truth if she heard that version of the story, but at the same time, she was not in a position to tell the truth as her mind and heart kept aching from all the bad that has happened in less than four hours.

Chloe was no longer totally furious with her mother, but she still held a resentment, so she didn't wait for Irisviel to make up her mind and looked at Illya with contempt. – "Listen to me, fake..."

"F-Fake? I?" – Illya pointed to herself with confusion.

Miyu seemed more and more angry with Chloe, but she is too obedient and she remained silent since she could see that I also care about Chloe's well-being and she doesn't want me to hate her...

Ah, I'll have to spoil Miyu later so that her heart doesn't feel hurt.

It's hard to be a good parent, especially when my childhood sucked.

Maybe I need a parenting course...

Anyway, Chloe started telling her version of her story, which horrified Illya.

Unlike when Chloe told me the story, she wasn't as rude and didn't show as much hate, but she still made sure that Illya understood what a horrible act her parents had done.

"No no... NO!" – Illya is a normal child who has never experienced the cruelty of the world, she has not even faced any kind of tragedy, so she could not understand the magnitude of Chloe's pain, but the very idea that her parents would have done something so horrible made her run to her room.

"Illya!" – The pink magic wand quickly went to the stairs to accompany Illya. Although that magic item is stupid, it seems that she really cares about the brat.

Miyu panicked seeing her best friend cry and looked at me for permission to go to her friend's side.

I nodded. – "Go with your friend"

Miyu quickly bowed to say goodbye and went up the stairs with the blue magic wand to go to Illya's room.

Illya let her friend in and she started crying. Miyu has lousy social skills, so she could only remain silent while Illya cried, but Illya felt better seeing that her new friend stayed by her side.

Right now, Illya is deeply hurt and disappointed, but this is not the right time for me to intervene.

As I said before, mentally she is just a normal child, so helping her right now will only make her see me as a trustworthy adult and at most she will see me as a second big brother, but the possibility of romantic love will be too difficult and currently I don't have a lot of time to manipulate her emotions in the traditional way.

I sighed and looked at Irisviel. – "For now things have become complicated, so I need to ask you a favor"

Irisviel didn't answer me as she kept looking at the stairs with concern.

I patted Chloe's head and smiled. – "Chloe, it would be good if you spend time with your mother to clear up any misunderstanding, you could also talk a bit with Illya since she is technically your sister... Also, I would like you to be less aggressive with Illya, even if you hate her, she is the Miyu's best friend and she is also my daughter"

"..." – Chloe didn't want to get along with Illya, but she was willing to try when she heard that she is Miyu's best friend since she doesn't want to cause trouble in her new family. – "I will try, but I do not promise that things will turn out well..."

I nodded with a smile. - "Good girl"

Chloe smiled. – "But daddy will have to reward me~"

...

I want to die.

I sighed. – "Brat, do not overdo it"

Chloe stuck her tongue out at me mockingly and headed for the stairs. – "I will try to get along with... well, my sisters..."

Chloe went up the stairs and headed for Illya's room.

I looked at Nyaruko. – "Please take care of those brats, make sure they don't try to kill themselves"

"Sure, I'll take care of your loli farm~" – Nyaruko grabbed a pizza box and hurried to Illya's room.

Although she always acts like a fool, she is actually one of the smartest women in my harem so she understood my intentions. She has to make sure that Chloe, Irisviel and Illya realize that I'm the only man they can trust.

I walked over to Shinji and grabbed his neck to force him to his feet. – "You mentioned that you have a secret lair, take us to that place"

Shinji nodded quickly. – "Yes sir, I will sir, please don't kill me sir..."

"Stop acting like a fucking coward when you have that face!" – Luviagelita spoke furiously and resisted the desire to break Shinji's face, or well, Shirou.

Rin was also furious, but her attention was more focused on the purple haired girl.

That girl is Sakura Matou, one of the heroines of the Fate franchise and she is Rin's sister, but due to the stupid circumstances of the magicians, she was adopted by another family.

Technically she is a normal girl in this timeline, and although her Character Sheet indicates that she is a tragic heroine, in this timeline she has a normal life, or so it should have been.

Shinji used Sakura as a punching bag to test his new magic, so she is now a tragic woman too.

Rin wanted to kill Shinji when she heard what he did to Sakura, but she held back as he is still needed to find Shirou.

During the interrogation, I showed kindness and destroyed the mental parasite inside Sakura's head, but although the girl was now free, when she woke up she started screaming and scratching her own face, so I had to use acupuncture to put her to sleep and now Rin is taking care of her.

Rin thought that Skaura was traumatized and that's why she had that reaction, but the situation is much more complicated.

Sakura is going through the same process that Shinji went through. Her mind and soul are connecting to the different versions of Sakura that exist in the Fate franchise, but she doesn't have the assistance of the entity that helped Shinji, so Sakura's mind is falling apart.

Apparently Sakura is a tragic character in most timelines, so she is suffering the pain of multiple lifetimes. It's like she's the emotional punching bag of the author of Fate.

Anyway, according to Paranoia's calculations I already have plans for her.

"Ah, back to work... just when I was having fun" – Merlin sighed with disappointment.

"Fou Fou (You never work, idiot)" – Fou snorted contemptuously and kicked Merlin's face making him fall to the ground.

We were about to leave, but Irisviel raised her voice. – "Wait, I'm coming with you!"

Her gaze showed a lot of resolve and stubbornness as if she is willing to follow us even if I want to kill her.

I sighed and looked at Irisviel. – "I know we did not have a good first impression, but I want to ask you a favor... Please stay here while I look for your son"

Irisviel frowned. – "He is my son, as a mother it is my duty to look for him"

This time it was Zelretch who sighed. – "Miss, the situation is much more complicated than you can imagine, it would be better if you stay here to take care of the girls"

Irisviel stopped for a moment since she doesn't want to leave her daughters, but she also wants to look for her son.

I sighed again, but this time I showed a little more kindness. – "You are a good mother, but now there are two girls who need their mother"

"..." – Irisviel clenched her fists and still couldn't make a decision.

"The favor I need is simple..." – I spoke with a complicated feeling that Irisviel recognized as concern towards death, which made her feel uncomfortable. – "I will be honest with you, things look bad and I cannot promise that I will find your son, but I want you to promise me something"

Irisviel was about to scream again, but I didn't let her speak.

"If I die, I want you to take care of Miyu and Chloe" – The seriousness in my voice made Irisviel stay silent. – "In fact, Zelretch, it would be better if you let your disciples stay here"

Even Merlin and Zelretch were surprised by my words, but they agreed.

"Rin, Luvia, you stay here and I don't want you to cause problems" – Zelretch spoke like a strict grandfather giving instructions to his granddaughters.

Both girls seemed to want to argue, but they nodded at the old man's strict gaze.

Irisviel was now very worried. Zelretch's attitude showed that the situation was more dangerous than she could imagine, but it increased her desire to accompany us to rescue her son.

"I want to think that what you did to Chloe was a misunderstanding, so I'll trust you with my daughters" – I sighed and headed for the door. – "One more thing, the silver-haired girl may seem a bit silly, but she is very strong, so you should always stay close to her"

"Wait!" – Irisviel wanted to continue talking, but we left the house and I closed the door, then I placed a defensive barrier so that Irisviel couldn't get out, but other people could enter. The maids went shopping and will be back in a little while, so they can go into the house.

I sighed and turned my attention back to Shinji. – "Walk towards your base or I will rip your skin off"

Shinji nodded quickly and started walking.

"Wow, your techniques to seduce married women are amazing" - Merlin praised me, but he was only joking since he knows that the situation is dangerous and there really is a possibility that all of us will be killed, or well, that's what he think.

"Thank you, I practice every day" – Act like you are following the joke.

"Ah, these young people..." – Zelretch sighed like an old man disappointed in the youth.

The three of us joke around like carefree idiots, a good way to deal with the stress of knowing that a single mistake can cause the end of the world.

While I know what I must do to protect Gaia, I admit that I am very concerned. Things really aren't quite right and my bad feelings only keep growing...

Ah, being a protagonist is troublesome.

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Author's Note:

Well, technically I'm better from the anemia, but my defenses went down and now I have a bad flu...

Take me now, my god.

Anyway, a hug <3< p>