Chapter 1679

Xia Yu, I hope this is not my first letter to you, nor the last one. But I also contradictory want you to know the content, but also afraid you know. Because I'm sorry for you, I shouldn't have married you, which makes you very painful and may make you sad all your life.

All this is because of my selfishness, just hurt you.

There is a truth that I dare not tell you. But if I die, you are the one who has the most right to know the truth.

A few years ago, I was on a mission that almost failed and almost died. In order to let me speak, the enemy used a lot of means to torture me. Among them, I was injected with a lot of poison. The whole life is better than death. But when I was dying, I was lucky to be saved. Can poison ~ product but torment me, still want my life, and at that time, no one can save me.

At that time, the only chance to survive was to inject a prohibited drug. As for what it was, I can't tell you. But the result is, I became a walking corpse without feelings.

I don't know what is happiness, what is happiness, but also the feeling of no love. Without seven emotions and six desires, I would not be able to rely on drugs, and my body would be saved.

But since then, my soul has died.

Every day I don't know what the meaning of living is. I have to constantly carry out the task and restrict myself with standard justice and morality. Only when I carry out the task can I have the illusion that I am alive.

Until one day, I met you.

You say you want to marry me, you like me so much, no matter who you are, you can see it. But as anyone can see, I don't like you.

In fact, I do not like you, my heart even want to be sad. Because I don't know what it's like to like, I can't even respond to a girl like you.

Naturally, I can't give you happiness. I don't even know what happiness is.

So I refused you, but also very indifferent to you. But you didn't give up on me, and your feelings for me did not change at all. Your sincere emotion, simple and pure, does not mix anything.

The first time I saw such pure feelings, maybe in this world, only you, would like me so pure, not because of my identity, nor because of my reputation.

In front of your simple love, I gradually have a selfish idea. I have no happiness and feelings, but I want to have them more and more. I'm eager, like a pedestrian in the desert.

I want to have your love for me selfishly. I look forward to one day, your love can wake up all my feelings. So I agreed to marry you when I was sure you would marry me even if I didn't love you.

Xia Yu, you don't know, at that time I thought you were my life-saving straw. I'm looking forward to my life changing because of you, but as a result, I'm wrong.

I was so wrong, so wrong.

Because of my selfish, I married you, but can not give you the happiness you want. I don't even know how to be a husband, how to love you and respond to your feelings.

Even I'm indifferent to your efforts.

Seeing the sadness in your eyes, I want to blame myself.

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