Volume 1 - CH 9.2

“But you know what? They call that a work smile”, said Minori. “Even with comedians, there are many who are quiet when they aren’t on stage. Maybe she originally had that kind of personality.”

“I do hear that sort of thing a lot, but before we talk about her personality… Shouldn’t you be worried when a person you’ve been living with for two weeks doesn’t smile even once?”

“Hmmm… well… I would be worried about you.”

“That’s why I think we should all work together to make her laugh!”

This is not like dirty otaku who want to impress the other fans by taking pictures of their favorite idol’s off-stage smile. I won’t be taking a picture of it! Honest!!

“Hey now! That girl transferred to this school because she had a hard time, and if she’s in the same dorm as me I’ll cheer her up!”

Minori, still dressed like a peeled shrimp, jumps up and joins in the enthusiasm.

Kei nodded quietly while pushing up his glasses with his left hand and powerfully declares, “…OK.”

“Let’s do our best to make her laugh… with the power of friendship!”

*************

So.

“When it comes to laughter, I’m the one you should talk to.”

This misguided fool was the first to speak up.

“I have just succeeded in developing a new one-off piece of art that fuses the mystery of the universe with the preciousness of life. Let’s make Kinoshita laugh and prove how interesting it is…”

Even being a fool, specks is a smooth talker.

“Or is it just that you wanted to show Kinoshita-san your one-off piece of art Kei?”

“Gah!”

Minori should shut up instead of saying unnecessary things. I appreciate your cooperation, but don’t say things that put a damper on the enthusiasm.

We leave Minori’s room and look for where Ringo is.

“…There!”

We found her in the washroom. It looks like she is doing laundry. Seeing her be able to do the laundry by herself fills my heart with a mix of joy and sadness. Won’t you still let me wash your socks and panties…?

“I’ll go.”

In order to create a natural atmosphere, Kei approached Ringo while whistling John Lennon’s ‘Imagine’.

“Ope, someone’s already here. What are you up to at this hour?”

“Laundry.”

“Really? By the way, take a look at my one-off art piece.”

That was as forced and unnatural as the scenarios in a Yaoi manga!!

“This is a quick acting art. Blink and you’ll miss it.”

“Ok.”

Kei then pulls down his pants as far as he can without his little friend popping out, revealing a surprisingly thick black bush, and says, “Dark Matter!”

\(^o^)/

“Come on laugh! Don’t hesitate, just laugh! Give me a belly laugh!”

“ARE YOU STUPID!?”

Kei Kamatori is sunk.

************************

“OK then, I’ll go next!”

Leaving Kei sitting in despair between the washing machine and the wall, Minori and I follow Ringo from the washroom to the kitchen.

Apparently Ringo is a little hungery, so she’s going to have the leftovers that are in the refrigerator.

“….I wonder if eating at this hour will make you fat?”

“…maybe it would for Minori. It’s nothing for me though…”

“…What do you mean..?

Being an idol means that no matter how much you eat, you won’t get fat.

“By the way Kosaku, what are the odds on us succeeding? That kid looks tough to crack.”

“Hmph…”, I smile faintly.

“What caused Kei’s failure was his inability to understand ‘quality’ laughter.”

“Quality laughter?”

“Yeah. See, there are various types of laugher right?” Having someone burst out in a fit of laughter and saying “I’ll make you laugh” is a big hurdle. Just getting a smile in normal conversation or small talk is a smaller hurdle.”

“Oh, I see what you are saying! That’s true! It might be easier to get a laugh in normal conversation.”

“It’s like… well just watch…”

With that said I tried to be nonchalant as I walk over to Ringo.

“Hi Ringo. Having a late night snack? Mind if I sit next to you?”

“…go ahead.”, said Ringo as she pulled out the chair.

While eating the leftover meat and potatoes warmed in the microwave, I casually shake up the conversation.

“By the way, do you have any hobbies Ringo?”

“Hobbies?”

“Yeah.”

It’s normal for people to start conversation about hobbies. It’s my strategy to change topics to something that will lead to laughter.

“Reading and watching movies…”

“Heh, what are you reading lately?”

“A picture book. And a Ji*ri Movie.”

“A picture book huh…?”

“…for adults.” (mumble)

“Eh? For adults? What do you mean?”

“My perverted picture diary.”

“What kind of picture book is that!? You’ll get caught!!”

“Sometimes Sunny Female Pig.”

“What’s that coming!? What’s that sometimes coming?”

“The Cloudy Princess”

“What a slut!”

“Three Female Pigs.”

“They are sluts too.”

“And there is the old guy.”

“Nothing but perverts.”

“Tsunderella”

“No, they aren’t going to find the glass slippers for her.”

“The story of a young wife.”

“It’s almost an adult video title now…”

“Homo-taro”

“Homotaro, born from a homo… Wait is that possible?”

“A fat old man.”

“…because of bad metabolism?”

“Back. Taro Shima.”

“There’s no mosaic!?”

“The girls pubic hair is gross.”

“Let’s take care of it.”

“The shaving man”

“That’s an overreaction.”

“Princess Monohairy”

“This transformation power is amazing!”

“Howl’s Moving Razer”

“This guy… now it’s moving?!”

“The secret of Arrietta”

“No comment.”

“The Bath Nextdoor.”

“He’s peeping.”

“Masochist Delivery Service.”

“It’s a deliver? They are delivering?”

“If we just use our ears.”

“Let’s get married.”

“Heisei Tanuki Battle Chin.”

“This isn’t really funny so stop.”

“Pissing off a cliff.”

“Just hold it!”

“The Cat Who Came a Million Times.”

“I said be patient!”

“The Storm.”

“That one is a normal picture book, but it’s strange because it sounds erotic when you listen to it in the current flow of conversation…”

“Chibima*ko-chan.”

“Oh! Put a * in the middle of it and it sounds obscene!”

“Erotic Book.”

“Don’t italicize it!”

“***********”

“Don’t censor it either!”

“Radical Elements”

“You aren’t sponsored, don’t put advertisements in it!”

And so, exhausted from the word play, I forgot what my original purpose even was.

********************

“If that how it’s going to be, I’ll use force.”

The third assassin, Minori Nakazawa impatiently yelled out

Minori sneaks up behind Ringo, who was watching TV in the cafeteria and, “Kinoshita-san!”

“?”

“Tickle Tickle Tickle Tickle Tickle Tickle Tickle.”

“!?”

She hugged her from behind and started tickling her. What an enviable thing she got to do. Not only hugging Yuka-tan, but letter her fingers crowl on her noble and delicate sides…

“You idiot Minori! You’re going too far!”

At the same time as I get angry, I press the record button in my heart. It is the duty of the eyewitnesses to record this marvelous spectacle in the highest possible quality.

What!? I don’t have enough space?

NO!! Erase all other data!

Even if all of my memories are of this scene, I’ll have no regrets!!

“What the? Not a single person has survived my tickling techniques! Come on, forget what you were doing and laugh! Hey hey hey!!”

Minori says this while tickling but Ringo is enduring it.

“….”

Her expression doesn’t change at all, except that she looks like she’s putting a little more effort into holding it in.

Oh man, to be able to endure Minori’s tickling for more than three minutes… When I was in elementary school, I was beaten by it and laughed so hard that I threw up..!

“Hmmm… but I’m persistent. How about …. THIS!”

With that Minori sticks her hands under Ringo’s cloths and starts tickling her skin directly! That must feel like Ecstacy!

“C’mon C’mon, how about here?”

“Hmmm! Th..that is…”

A long soft sigh escapes Ringo’s mouth.

There?! Where is it!? Where was the right place to touch?”

“MFufufu… Well? Will you surrender soon? Hmm? I want you to laugh a lot and be happy. So take this!”

Confident of her victory, Minori runs her fingers over the belly button of Ringo. Her slinder fingers are like tentacles rubbing all over her pure white skin! Good! Lower! Go even lower!

But…

“…That’s it?”

“Huh?”

“It’s my turn now right?”

As Ringo says this she starts wiggling her fingers strangely. The moment her fingertips touched Minori’s body…

“Nyaaahahahahahahaha!!”

She bursts into laughter.

“Hey! Stop it Kinohihya-han! Stop for a sec! I can’t breath! I said! M…my stomach feels twisted! Nyaahahahahaha!! Heeheeheeheehee!!”

“You’re too noisy.”

“Nigyeehehehehehe Hyapehahahah!? I’m drooling! You’re teasing me! Stop! I can’t get up!!”

“Does it tickle?”

“It tickles too much! Please, this is torturehehehehe. I really can’t taahahahake this!”

“Do you surrender?”

“I’ll sureehehehender. I’ll giihihiive up! Juuhuhust stohohohop!”

“No.”

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”