CH 114

Distant Past

[……Smile.]

He sounded a little tired.

Kyrie couldn’t smile. Unlike before, another fell down with a little gasp. The weeping of the remnant grew higher. Nathaniel rolled his eyes and looked away from Kyrie’s face.

[Smile.]

“No, stop, please…….”

[Don’t you think I want to be like this?]

“please….., please….”

[Stop crying.]

The cane pointed to the other servant.

[……Smile, please.]

Finally, Kyrie poked her cheek and pulled the corner of her mouth. The dimples were wide and dented on the lean cheeks.  Even with her blank as blank as a sheet of paper, Kyrie waited for Nathaniel’s cane to be removed.

However, contrary to her expectations, Nathaniel did not react to seeing Kyrie’s long-awaited smile. His cold and beautiful face took over the deeper waters.  Because his face was too delicate, his emotions seemed to be revealed several times more clearly than others.

“Ah, ah……”

This doesn’t work. It’s not enough. 

Kyrie, who thought so, pinched her face. 

I have to smile.

I have to pretend to smile.  

Until Nathaniel is satisfied and lowers his cane.

Still, Nathaniel didn’t laugh.

Despair engulfed Kyrie. Kyrie, who was in tears, not knowing what to do, hesitated and carefully took Nathaniel’s hand.

[Kyrie?]

Nathaniel was startled. His clear, sad blue eyes looked at Kyrie with a little hope.

But the next moment, Kyrie grabbed Nathaniel’s hand and shoved it between her legs.

At the same time, Nathaniel shook off Kyrie’s hand, as if on fire.

“Ouch!”

Kyrie grabbed his hand and staggered. A long abrasion was left on her white skin. Kyrie looked up at Nathaniel as if she did not understand.

Nathaniel was still standing with his hands away.  A great sadness spread across his face.  Soon he covered his face with his hands.

[That kind….]

“…….”

[That kind of thing I wanted…..]

A suppressed voice leaked out.

She sobbed as Kyrie made a face that she didn’t understand, but then she gasped for her breath and covered her injured hand. The round, thin back trembled with breath.

Nathaniel soon clenched his fist once, then lowered his hand.

[…..Kyrie. Let’s see the wound.]

“No…”

[Kyrie.]

“No, I do not want……”

[I just made a mistake……]

“no…… I hate it now…..”

[……]

“Because I’m going to lose everything….”

Kyrie mumbled something in a voice so low that he could no longer hear it. Even if he didn’t listen, he knew what she was talking about.  

I don’t like it, I hate it, I want you to live, I’m going to die.  

Magical words that make his heart rip to pieces just by hearing them.

Looking down at Kyrie, who was crouching like a small opossum, Nathaniel let out a laugh at her.

[……Yeah, there’s nothing I can do about what I see.]

“no…..no…”

[I know.]

He answered dryly.

Nathaniel stared indifferently as the servants crept out of the room, remembering the distant past.

The first boy he loved lived near the river.

The boy had no family, and he treated Nathaniel, who appeared one day in the river, as his brother. He was stupid. But that stupid boy was Nathaniel’s heart, his whole world, his everything.  From the moment the boy met his eyes and held out his hand, he had no choice but to care for the boy. Evil should always be easy, and so was Nathaniel.

As the boy was drowning one day, Nathaniel was sitting in the boy’s hut waiting for him.  When he found the boy belatedly, the boy was submerged in the water like a snail with a broken shell.

He couldn’t save the boy. He could kill and destroy anything, but he could not protect, heal, or resurrect anything.

It happened again and again.  Humans are so small and fragile, that those who went out to work with a smile often returned as corpses.  Each time, Nathaniel’s world was torn down again and again and then rebuilt. Many dozens of times.

After the formation of the community and the society was formed, social leaders began to wake him up more and more.  A beautiful man sleeping in the transparent ice. It was a perfect tribute to the leader. They supported him and demanded power or money in return.

It was better that way. Those in power at least did not die in vain, leaving him at a loss. It did not matter whether those who awakened him were evil or good. Nathaniel just wanted them to be by his side. That was enough.

(T/N: okay Nathaniel is the Red Fox. Those who don’t know what Red Fox is, it’s a Korean manhwa, and licensed, available in lehzin….it’s r19, basically what I mean is The Red Fox in that Manhwa is actually the r19 version of Nathaniel)

[Kyrie.]

“……”

She won’t answer. 

Yes, she won’t. 

Knowing that, Nathaniel kept calling her name.

[Kyrie.]

He had no choice but to do so.  She was his world, and she could turn away from him, but he couldn’t turn away from her, no matter what.

[…..Kyrie.]

“Miss!”

Then MarryAnne came in through the door.  Annemarie, wearing a white veil and holding a spear, screamed at the fallen Kyrie.

“No!”

MarryAnne saw the servants lying on the floor and immediately guessed the situation. The one and only black eye that was left burned with hatred.

“Another person died in front of a young lady!”

Nathaniel took a slow step back. MarryAnne approached Kyrie in a hurry. Kyrie was exhausted from crying and fainted in the crouched posture.

[She has a wound on her hand, so take care of it.]

Nathaniel said in a quiet voice. As he flicked his finger, jewels flew from the tips of his white fingers and rolled across the floor.  At the same time, the fallen servants stood up holding their heads.

MarryAnne had a confused face as she watched the servants leaving the room with their jewels.

“You didn’t kill them…..?”

After Nathaniel laughed, he lowered his eyes.  And he murmured precariously and hollowly.

[I just wanted to see her smile.]

“You want her to smile while tormenting her?”

[Kyrie doesn’t smile.]

“You have to make her smile! You have to do something that makes her laugh!”

MarryAnne cried out.  Nathaniel lifted his head.  Seeing that face, MarryAnne stopped.  It was an elegant and beautiful, but self-sacrificing smile.

[I was going to.]

“…….”

[It’s okay to give everything I have, so I thought it would be good to laugh. Money, fame, wealth, power, status…..]

“The lady doesn’t laugh at that!”

Nathaniel let out a low laugh. He took a step back. The darkness in the room darkened and covered his face.

[Yes. That’s right.]

“You know, then why……!”

[But that’s the only way I know.]

MarryAnne bit her mouth. MarryAnne knows that he is such a being, that he was born that way. She looked at Nathaniel with her trembling eyes.

[Kyrie doesn’t smile at those things. You’re right.]

Nathaniel took a step back, answering futilely.  Now he was seen only as a faint silhouette mixed with the darkness.  At first glance, it seemed that strength was being applied to the smooth chin. After a long silence, he whispered in a faint weeping voice.

[But I really only learned that way………]

— The End of Volume 4—

[Continued in the next volume.]

***

Hello my lovely readers! I’m so thrilled to announce that there is only one more volume left (23ish chapters) for the main story to get finished….I am planning to do speedrun for volume 5.

I need a PR for my project, pls pls apply as a PR so that I can release more chps frequently!