Chapter 98 - Missing You

Though time moved faster in the mortal realm compared to the nine heavens, it hadn't been a long time in either realm since Qiu Ling entered the crown prince's palace. After returning to the nine heavens, he had taken one deep look at the familiar walls and entered irrespective of the protests from the heavenly guards.

And then, seeing Yi Zan and Xiang Yong there beside Jing He's bed, he had grown angry and kicked them out. No, he didn't want anyone but himself to be by his beloved's side.

Qiu Ling stood there next to the folding-screen behind the door. He wanted to go over but at the same time, he was afraid of taking the next step. He could see his beloved lying there on the bed, his white robe shimmering in the sunlight filtering through the windows, his ink-black hair spilling over the sheets.

He looked as lovely as always. It was just … He was lying too still. There was no motion, not even the slight rising and falling of his chest to indicate that he was still breathing and alive. If one didn't know that his soul was only temporarily in the mortal world and would return soon, one would certainly think he had passed on.

Even Qiu Ling who had been there when Jing He's soul left and had stayed at his mortal reincarnation's side couldn't help but worry, seeing him like this.

"Jing He …" He called out to him, his voice hoarse and nearly breaking at the last syllable.

Qiu Ling closed his eyes and gulped. Yes, he was afraid. Afraid of Jing He never coming back, afraid of losing the person he had irreversibly fallen in love with. He would never have admitted to that in front of Jing He but this fear had accompanied him since the day Jing He told him about the impending trial.

Qiu Ling opened his eyes and slowly took a step forward. It felt like his body was coated in lead, weighed down by a thousand worries. He only had one, though. He took the last steps and slowly sat down at Jing He's bedside.

"You know, I wouldn't mind giving up on my throne as long as it would enable me to be with you forever. Whatever it is I have to do to have you by my side, I'll do it. No questions asked. Since I met you, you've always been the most precious person to me, so first thing on my mind in any situation. I … I just love you so much. Jing He … Please come back soon. I can't take this much longer." He took his lover's hand in his and caressed its back with his thumb.

"When you told me you would descend to the mortal world for one whole lifetime I was devastated. Being without you … Even one day is agonizing. A whole lifetime … Seriously, what were you thinking? Did you want to torture me? Did I do something wrong? Is that it?" He smiled at Jing He.

"I know, it is dumb to think like that. You're not that kind of person. You wouldn't want to see me like this. You just wanted to fulfill your father's expectations, I guess? Maybe I should have begged him to let you stay here. Or maybe not just that. Had I … Had I asked him … Do you think he would have agreed to let us marry?"

Qiu Ling sighed. "You said to wait until you come back. But what if …" He closed his eyes again, bent down and laid his head on Jing He's body.

He thought that maybe feeling his warmth again would make him feel better. But the exact opposite was the case: Being so close to him it was just more obvious that he didn't breathe and that his heart wasn't beating.

Qiu Ling snaked one arm below Jing He's torso and hugged his slender waist while burying his face at his chest. Tears started trickling down his cheeks and moistened Jing He's white robe.

He couldn't help it. He had felt horrible the whole day. And now, indulging in his craving to see his beloved again, he had to find out that being next to this body wasn't what he had hoped for. It just made his fear grow. This was just an empty husk, not the person he held so dear.

"Jing He, Jing He. Don't do this to me. Please, wake up."

He hugged him tighter but of course, there was no reaction whatsoever. Qiu Ling took a trembling breath and tried to calm his heart. "He'll come back. He'll definitely come back. He won't leave me alone."

But whatever he told himself, it couldn't shake the uneasiness in his heart. How long? For how long would he have to be without him?

Fifty years? That might be an average span of life for a human. That would be fifty days in the nine heavens. Not even two months. He could wait for that long. He could …

Qiu Ling lay down beside Jing He and pulled his still body into his arms. "You can't fall in love with anybody down there. Do you hear me? You just can't. I won't be able to take it if you do. You wouldn't want to see me die out of heartbreak, would you? My Jing He …"

He softly brushed Jing He's hair back and kissed his brow. Lying next to him like this, looking at the familiar profile, Qiu Ling could talk himself into believing that Jing He had only fallen asleep before him.

He smiled at that thought and hugged him a little closer. "You know, my love, when you've come back and we've finally married, it'll be like this every day. Holding you close to my chest, falling asleep together and waking up with you in my embrace … Being able to anticipate our marital life is probably the only thing making this whole trial period bearable." He sighed again but finally shook his head. "Let's not think about that anymore. For today … just grant me beautiful dreams, my dear."

He kissed Jing He's temple and finally closed his eyes. Though, the beautiful dreams he had that night would have to sustain him for a long, long time.