CH 37

I basked in the sun for a while outside, and when my body was not so cold, I stood up with the flower bed on the side. At this time, the theater was also over. Aunt Jiu took Song Mo and walked out along the flow of people. When she saw me, she came over quickly.

“You haven’t come back, I thought something happened.”

I took Song Mo from her arms, and made an excuse to deal with it: “No, I suddenly feel a little uncomfortable, maybe there are too many people inside. It was too boring, so I ran outside to get some air.”

Aunt Jiu heard the words with a worried expression: “Then how are you now? Your face doesn’t seem to be very good.”

“It’s all right.”

After playing all day, Song Mo was so tired that he fell asleep in my arms. Aunt Jiu called the driver and asked him to pick us up at the gate.

In the car, Song Mo lay on my lap and slept soundly. I tucked the coat over him, looked up at Aunt Jiu, and told her that I would use the car the day after tomorrow to see Ning Shi.

Aunt Jiu’s facial expression was a little stiff when she heard the words, and she hesitated to speak to me.

I gently said: “If you have anything to say, just say it.”

She sighed: “I am afraid that you will not be happy with the Zhu family now.” I understand what she meant. Legal partners, if you are smart, you should stay far away from the Zhu family, and don’t flirt with Song Bai Lao’s beard.

Now that I’m like this, I can’t win the favor of Song Bai Lao, nor the Zhu family, and I’m at a loss.

I nodded and said, “I understand, this should be the last time.”

On the appointed day, I arrived at the tea room an hour earlier. I didn’t do anything for an hour, just sat there quietly, staring at the scenery in the courtyard in a daze.

An hour later, the sliding door moved slightly, and under the guidance of the waiter, Ning Shi entered the tea room, and there was no one else behind him.

Today, she doesn’t look like a lady anymore. She threw off her high heels and stepped on the tatami. She sat down opposite me, and the big bag she brought was randomly piled at her feet.

“It’s so hot.” She poured herself a large glass of water, raised her head and drank it. As she put down the cup, he let out a contented sigh from his throat.

When she’s not holding it, she looks a bit like the “mother” in my childhood memory. She raised me up, and of course it wasn’t all calculation over the years. We have also lived together, ate a bowl of noodles and held an umbrella together.

She and I are not without warm memories. It’s just that now, that little warmth has already cooled down.

Now, we are even worse than strangers.

“Where’s the child?” I asked her.

She glanced at me, and tugged a few times in the big bag beside her, holding out something the size of a palm, wrapped in a dark red coat.

“I didn’t want people to find out at first, it was a little far away, and it took some time to get it.” She untied the outer wrap, revealing a rectangular lacquer box. She put the lacquer box on the table and slowly pushed it towards me. , “At that time you induced labor, and I tested the child that was cut out. It was AB blood. Even if you were born, it would be useless, he would not survive.”

She turned over again, and took out the cigarette and lighter from the bag , lit up in front of me and pumped up.

“It’s not that I don’t know whether it’s an Alpha or a Beta that’s making my belly bigger. I know, I knew that the other party was an Alpha seven years ago.”

I stared at the box, obviously sad, but I still laughed.

“In order for me to marry Song Bai Lao and become ‘Mrs. Zhu’, you did not hesitate to make up a child and lied to me for a few months.”

From the moment I found out that Youyou was not my child, I actually had a hunch in my heart, my child may not have survived at all. Whenever he was alive, even if he lacked an arm or a leg, Ning Shi would not find another child to pretend to be.

I had already prepared myself mentally to welcome the so-called “child” brought by Ning Shi.

But I still overestimated myself and underestimated the great grief that came after hope was completely taken away.

My child…my child died seven years ago, before even getting a glimpse of the world or getting a hug from his parents.

Now, he’s in front of me in a small black lacquered box. Even if Ning Shi told me that he couldn’t survive, but looking at “him”, how could I feel relieved?

The guilt weighed down like a boulder, and it almost took my breath away.

“Behind the hospital, across a small road, there is a kindergarten. From the window of my ward, I can see their gate. Every day at four o’clock in the afternoon, parents start to gather at the gate, one by one pick up their own children.” Ning Shi once asked me why I suddenly regretted that year, but the reason was very “selfish”, “Every day there are children who are picked up at the end, and I watch them change from excitement to anxiety, and slowly I began to feel uneasy. But without exception, when the late parent appeared in front of them, they always swept away their anxiety, and filled with joy again. They are so dependent on and nostalgic for their parents, there is no impurity in love.”

“At that time, I was thinking, if I give birth to a child in my womb, can I also have a person who loves me with all my heart?”

Ning Shi rested her elbows on the table, stunned. After listening to me, the ashes fell and almost scalded the back of her hand. She took a sharp puff of her cigarette, put the cigarette butt out in the cup beside her, and the white mist that she spit out separated us, so I couldn’t see her expression clearly.

“You were only eighteen years old at the time, who will support when you gave birth?” The smoke dissipated, and Ning Shi’s cheeks were stretched, obviously disagreeing with my point of view, “Do you know what I rely on to support you? Sleeping in those Alpha’s beds! Not only will you be scorned and ridiculed, but you’ll end up giving birth to a baby that’s going my way.”

“I don’t love you enough,” she said, “but I can’t help it. You hate if you want.”

I lowered my eyes and said nothing.

Actually, I don’t hate her, nor do I hate Zhu Li and Xiang Ping. Hate and love are too heavy, and it seems that they will be entangled for a lifetime. I don’t want to have any more entanglements with them, and I don’t want to remember them for the rest of my life.

Staring at the lacquer box, I took a deep breath, rewrapped the outer wrap, and was about to get up and leave while hugging it.

After taking two steps, Ning Shi stopped me from behind.

“You haven’t cashed that cheque… Go and cash it. Saving a few flowers is enough for you to live a good life for the rest of your life.”

I didn’t look back, nor did I return to her, I walked silently to the door.

Although no one mentioned it, she and I knew that after today, the meager mother-son relationship between us will come to an end.

Next to the tea room is a flower shop, and flowers of various colors are placed in white plastic buckets filled with water, all the way to the street.

“Sir, take a look. Buy a bunch of flowers for someone you like.” The florist held a watering can in her hand and enthusiastically solicited business.

I looked at the pile of flowers and plants at the door, pointed to a pot of mimosa and asked her, “How much?”

The lady boss said, “Thirty yuan.”

I paid, and she picked up the pot from the ground and planted it in the terracotta pot. The mimosa, just about to put it in a plastic bag, I stopped her and asked her to lend me a shovel. Although she was puzzled, she still took out a small shovel from the back room.

I squatted on the ground, carefully shoveled out the mimosa by the roots, poured some soil, then unwrapped the lacquer box and fondled the smooth surface cherishingly.

Sorry for not being able to give birth to you well. I gave it a soft kiss on it.

Open the lid, pour all the contents into the pot, and finally plant the mimosa again. After doing all this, I stood up, returned the shovel to the proprietress, and said to the wrapping cloth and lacquer box on the ground: “Thank you, please help me throw these away.”

I put the pot of mimosas on the window sill of the bedroom Up there, the sun is shining and I can see it every day when I wake up, it’s a great location.

I sat on the bed watching it, and as the sun went down, I changed positions, lying on my side, still watching it. I just watched him all afternoon.

In the evening, Aunt Jiu came to knock on the door, saying that the meal was ready and asked me to go down to eat. I told her that I was not hungry, that I was a little tired and wanted to go to bed, and soon there was no sound outside the door.

After an hour or so, a dazzling light flashed through the window and stopped at the gate downstairs with the sound of a car engine.

This point, this voice, should be Song Bai Lao’s return.

I pulled the quilt over, huddled on the bed and closed my eyes to pretend to be asleep.

A few minutes later, without knocking on the door or asking, the door was pushed open with a loud bang, followed by a “click” sound, and all the lights turned on instantly. Even with my eyes closed, the brightness pierced my brows and I couldn’t help frowning.

I covered my head with a quilt and hid in the dark.

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The footsteps approached slowly and finally stopped in front of me.

“You went to see Ning Shi today.”

Ha, I thought he was going to do something, but it turned out that he came to Ning Shi to ask for his guilt. Aunt Jiu’s words were nice and made me want to go where, and said that no one would be sent to monitor me. It is true that no one will be sent to monitor me, but my movements will definitely not escape Song Bai Lao’s eyes.

“If you’re afraid that I will collude with her internally and externally, divorce me sooner.” I was covered in the quilt and muttered.

There was silence outside for a moment, and when he spoke, Song Bai Lao’s voice was obviously lower, as if he was holding his breath.

“Aunt Jiu said that you have a bad appetite recently, and you are always uncomfortable.”

Anyone who encounters my situation, not to mention eating or sleeping, is uncomfortable to some extent.

“It’s hot, I can’t eat it.”

The oxygen in the quilt was getting less and less, but Song Bai Lao didn’t leave.

I really don’t want to argue with him today, and I don’t want to deal with him either. When I saw him, I felt headache, stomach pain, wound pain, pain everywhere.

“Are you pregnant?”

I breathed lightly, stuck my head out of the quilt, and looked at the man in front of me. He stared at me blankly, with no sign of joking on his face.

This question seems to be a bit embarrassing today.

“No.”

His eyes swiftly fell on my lower abdomen: “Luo Meng Bai has returned to China, and I will let him examine you tomorrow.”

My fingers tightened, I grabbed the quilt and sat up from the bed: “I’m not possibly pregnant.”

“It doesn’t matter what you said.” He didn’t move, and then he left.

Looking at his back, I gritted my teeth, and the negative emotions that I had suppressed for a long time emerged from the cracked heart, strands of black mist, like a ferocious beast, clamoring to corrode others and corrode myself.

“Do you know how the scar on my stomach came from?” I stroked my belly, and when I saw him stop and look back, I smiled at him self-deprecatingly, “I can no longer have children, I will never have children in my life. It’s possible. Don’t waste Luo Meng Bai’s time, I’m not pregnant.”

He didn’t seem to react at first, and didn’t know what I was talking about, but soon, when I said “it’s impossible in this life”, His face turned gloomy in an instant, and the breath between his teeth seemed to be filled with vigorous anger. He had already realized what the scar he called “nasty” was all about.

“Who is it?” He stepped dangerously close to me.

“Who is who?”

Song Bai Lao stared at me from top to bottom, completely shrouding me in his shadow: “That man.”

He pushed out syllable by syllable between his teeth, as if a storm was rolling in his eyes.

Alpha’s possessiveness is really strange, even though he doesn’t love me and hates me so much, he is still angry that I once belonged to another person.

It’s like… every male dog loves to mark a telephone pole, but do they love it? No. They just want to take the oath of sovereignty, anyway, this pole can only belong to themselves.

They never ask the pole’s wishes, much less if the pole is willing to be pissed all the time.

“Oh, the man who made me pregnant? Anyway…” I grinned and said clearly, “It’s not you.”

Even a useless pillar wouldn’t want to be treated like that.