Chapter 317: Starvation IV

Chapter 317: Starvation IV



Just as the aftermath settled, instant regret washed over me. It was to a level I couldn't comprehend, one that I hadn't experienced before now.

While he cried, I wobbled deeper into the alleyway we took as a home, escaping my guilt, escaping them.Nôv(el)B\\jnn

Thoughts plagued me for what I had done as my faltering steps echoed in the silence.

'What... No, I was-I'm not like this. This isn't me.'

'Why did I do that?'

I was never someone who would hit my kids; I never laid my hands on them, not even once...

'It's not my fault; it's because I was tense-the hunger, those junkies-they were the ones at fault, not me. Yes, I did nothing wrong. I'm a victim.'

I fell down to the ground, knees scraping against the cold.

'... Our lives weren't supposed to be like this. We don't deserve this!'

My hands reached out to my face as I covered my mouth, and after a moment, a guttural scream left my dry throat.

"FUUUUCCCCCKKKKKK!"

-

Eventually, I calmed down, and all went back to normal.

But something was amiss.

Me, I couldn't work, I couldn't beg, I couldn't scrape for trash.

And so... seeing the state that I was in, my wife had to step up. Sell her body.

The mother of my children had to become a prostitute.

This... it was something I feared more than anything.

While I wouldn't deny feeling some regret for rejecting the gang's offer, that regret always disappeared when I saw my wife smile at my arrival, welcoming me home.

At those moments, I would always thank the stars for my decision.

Yet... look at me now.

I was scared for her, that was certain, but there was something else that I couldn't shake from my mind.

Uttering it felt like a dare beyond my ability, so I immediately stopped dwelling on it and focused my mind on making a decision.

I would lose what was left of my already diminished dignity, but I...

I couldn't bring it upon myself to reject her.

"The kids need to eat."

Heaven... Truly, the Wheel seemed to have blessed me today for I have never eaten so much in

my entire life.

I basked in the aftermath, enjoying the taste of what seemed to be pizza on my tongue, but

that moment didn't last long.

My sanity returned.

Realization dawned on me.

Guilt had replaced any feeling of satisfaction that once bathed my entire being.

I didn't only fail them, but I've also robbed what she earned for them.

What kind of human was I? Such an ugly, ugly, being, no worse than the trash that abused my

wife.

Slowly, my feet began to step forward, one after the other, until it was a full-on sprint.

I couldn't help but run away from them. Once again.

Facing my family after what I had done would break my mind; it was a terrifying feeling.

They would wake up, expect food, but see nothing but an empty bag...

Oh, how I wished for them to die.

I prayed to whoever existed up above, I prayed for them to kill my children, my wife, and

myself.

It was all so that they wouldn't ask me for a piece of bread.

Not feeding them was one thing but stealing from them? Death was better than what this

was.

But I knew that it was a luxury I couldn't afford. I had, no, I needed to get credits; no matter

how small of an amount, I needed to repay her.

So I ran to a place all knew as a death zone.

It was where the low-level gangs played.

That was the only place I could guarantee myself a few credits-a place where bodies of

beggars more desperate than I am lay dead.

Knowing death was close was terrifying, but... 'Right now, joining them doesn't sound too bad.'