Three Hundred And Sixty-Two
“So why am I here again?” Eri asked, looking at Daiyu and me with a wry expression on her face. “I don’t think you need my help with what you’re planning. Not in my current health anyway.”
At that Daiyu flushed a little, which made sense as I had sought her out and told her we needed to discuss Dao Companions and Dual Cultivation. Even so, her expression was serene and resolute, as if she had no doubts. Which is amazing, as I’m full of doubts myself.
“Actually you’d be surprised.” I answered, reassuring them. “But rest assured, we’re largely just going to be talking tonight. It’s a shame Shaeula and Hyacinth are dealing with matters at the Spring, but you’ll do fine.”
“I see, I’m second, no third choice, huh?” Eri pouted, though her onyx eyes were sparkling with bitter humour. “Well, fine. Talk huh? Disappointed, Daiyu?” she asked, and Daiyu frowned, trying to understand the Japanese. I then translated for her, and she shook her head.
“I am beginning to understand his character, Eri. He is quite cautious when it comes to commitment.”
“Really?” Eri raised an eyebrow. “I agree he used to be like that, but if you push hard enough he crumbles. He did for me, Shaeula, Hinata and the others. It’s only Hyacinth and Shiro who didn’t really ask him, though Hyacinth... well, trying to understand Hyacinth hurts my head sometimes. But she’s a good girl who deserves some happiness. I think you’re in that situation too, Daiyu.”
At my translation Daiyu looked a little surprised, but she bowed gratefully. “I have suffered loss and hardship yes, but life is full of sorrows. Only through adversity shall strength be forged. Though I admit...” she let out a soft, quiet giggle. “... I would have preferred a little less adversity.” Her expression turned serious. “But what is done is done. The will of the Heavens cannot be turned aside so easily. Now I am here, and I thank you for your kind words. It must not be easy, a stranger such as I, one who is not even Japanese, coming into your lives and making demands. I am ashamed, but... I do not regret it. The will of the Heavens is clear to me.”
After that lengthy translation Eri snorted, managing to shrug a little, waving her one good arm. “Well of course nobody likes to share. Ordinarily love is between two people, right? But then ordinarily the world isn’t full of Fae, Yokai, Cultivators and more. I’ve been through this with Akio, but he doesn’t quite get it. He says the words, about making us all happy, but he’s still carrying some guilt. So this is probably a good time. We might as well use this opportunity to clear the air yet again, hopefully for the last time. He’s almost there, but he’s still got a few peculiar hang-ups. Daiyu, tell me honestly, what do you like about Akio? I’ll tell you what I love.” She took a deep breath. “I love that he thinks of me. That’s all there is to it. Love is very simple, I found. Back when I was a child, and Akio and Aiko were the only friends I had, I didn’t even realise I was different to other people. Everyone, my parents, those at school, they just thought I was quiet, shy. And I suppose I am. Less so now.” she pursed her lips self-deprecatingly. “But really, I had an empty, selfish heart. But when Akio saved me, when he used to take me stargazing on the mountains, or to a festival, or even just listened to me talk about my day, asked me how I was doing, my quiet, empty heart felt full. That’s all there is to it. And when my empty heart was full, I wanted to spend my life with Akio and Aiko. Forever. And I wanted to make their hearts feel full, like mine did.”
“So, you love Aiko too?” I said mildly, and she rolled her eyes.
“Stupid. Of course I love Aiko. Not like I love you. I’m not bisexual. Girls can love girls without it being about lust. Look at Motoko and Natsumi. You can’t tell me they don’t love each other.”
That’s true. I thought they might have loved each other in a sexual way as well, but from when we made love, it seems not. But their bonds are definitely deep. “I know. I was just joking. There’s lots of types of love. Family, romantic, more.”
“Well, my love for Aiko is deeper than familial. After all... we’ve shared so much normal people never do. All this.” She gestured with her good arm. “I can hardly wait until Aiko graduates so she can move to Tokyo and be with us. We’ll have adventures, spend time together, laugh and cry. And not just with Aiko. Shaeula and the others too. The good thing is... all the others are easy to love. Shaeula especially, she’s a force of nature that changed our world, isn’t she? Without her, we’d have stayed apart, you’d never have made it as far as you have... really, she should be your first wife, not me.”
Daiyu watched us as I translated rapidly. The conversation was intense, so I tried a little trick I had been thinking of. Using Split Thoughts I used wind element to create vibrations in the air, mimicking sounds. It was fiddly and difficult, and my first efforts sucked, though it gradually became intelligible, though Daiyu frowned at the lousy accent and pronunciation. Still, I’ve created real-time translation. And it’s excellent practice for Split Thoughts. Split Thoughts was one of my most powerful skills, as it let me perform multiple tasks at once, though obviously they had to be largely mental, as it wasn’t as if my body duplicated.
“I get it.” Eri continued. “Shaeula enjoys standing beside us, pushing us onwards. Whether that’s because of her upbringing, or because she’s a Fae, I just don’t know. But I do know if I’m ever in trouble I can turn to her. The others too... Shiro still makes me jealous, I can’t help it. You’ve shared so much of your adult life with her I don’t know about, but... she’s just so... forthright. There’s no lies with her, no masks.”
“That’s only recent. She used to hide all her fears, her pains. But now...”
“Now she’s free.” She eyed Daiyu. “I filled my empty heart. Shaeula found someone who would accept and support her for who she was. Hyacinth found someone who would love her despite her past and broken nature. Hinata found someone who sees that she’s noble as anyone else, and is willing to back her dreams. Motoko and Natsumi found a way to avoid sacrifices, and also remain together. Shiro... I think Shiro needs someone like Akio, someone who will accept any absurdity. And she found someone who truly understands her heart. Tsukiko-san, she found someone who would face the world for her, and would even try and turn aside death. Kana-chan... well, Kana-chan is the most puzzling. She’s an ordinary girl, who finds herself loving extraordinarily...”
Hang on a minute. “I think you’ve got a couple of unnecessary names there.” I pointed out, and Eri shook her head, a proper firm shake, though she grimaced in pain doing so.
“No. We’re not doing this. I’m not letting you play the naïve idiot anymore. It’s frustrating. I have made my peace with most of it, though I admit I have to get over my jealousy with Shiro. This is Polygamy. It’s never going to run smoothly. You’ll be consoling various girls, soothing our worries and mediating squabbles for the rest of your life. Get used to it. But in exchange, you have the love of some of the finest girls in the world. I have to believe that. That I’m a match for Shaeula, Shiro, Hinata, the others... otherwise I have no business being with you, and I can’t bear that. So, Daiyu here wants to join our circle. It’s too late to worry about one or two more now. But... I want everything sorted. Dragging this out is only hurting everyone.” She paused. “When you went looking for Daiyu, Kana-chan came and spoke to me. She was pretty upset at you being so insensitive. You can be a jerk sometimes, you know. Don’t you like Kana-chan?”
“Of course I like Kana. What’s not to like? But... it’s a case of need, isn’t it?” I said, a subject I’d thought about too much.
“No, it’s a case of liking.” Eri disagreed. “You know she likes you. She’s taken the risk to say so a number of times. And that’s hard.” Eri’s eyes went distant. “I was really scared when I confessed to you, you know. If you said no... I’d have been devastated. I’m not sure how I would have recovered from that. But... I would have had to. Just because someone confesses you don’t have to accept them, do you? That’d be stupid. But... it’s worse to not give closure. You know, I’m getting a bad feeling something is going to happen soon.”
“Is that Foresight?” I asked, and she shook her head.
“Well, I don’t think everything in life is about stats, Akio. Even before you got any, you were still a hero to me. Perhaps it’s just everything that’s happened recently, but... I worry.” Eri said earnestly. “But, put aside Kana-chan for the moment.” She looked at Daiyu, who had been listening to my wind-translations intently.
“Daiyu, I want you to be honest. Well, I think you always are. You don’t seem a liar, you’ve too much pride for that.” Eri continued. “You’ve said you want to be Akio’s Dao Companion. That’s like marriage, isn’t it?”
“Yes.” Daiyu agreed. “Though...” she paused, unsure of how to say what she wanted.
“It’s all right.” I sighed. “Eri is right. I need to be clear. I’ve largely stopped feeling guilty about polygamy now. I genuinely believe I can make those I love happy. Whether that’s arrogant or not I don’t much care. But what I do worry about is whether I’m splitting myself too thin. That’s one thing I can’t change, there’s only one of me. To think I’d be surrounded by a lot of gorgeous women and girls who seem to want me, despite all of you already. It makes me uncertain. So... we need to be clear, Daiyu. Though whatever happens, I’ll protect and help you, and get you enough Spirit Water to improve your Foundation. You don’t have to do anything but reach your potential, and use your gifts for the good of the world, Japan and your Sect.”
“That’s not being clear.” Eri said. “Though it’s very like you.”
“I shall speak. Eri, you are right. Dao Companions are a sacred bond. Not every Cultivator finds a Dao Companion they can share their lives and Dao with. But there is no greater comfort or joy. Love breaks, couples separate, but our Dao, they endure.”
“Not ours, it doesn’t break.” Eri disagreed. “That’s part of the issue. Akio, I’d be really sad if you were the sort of man who slept around, looked at girls lightly. But conversely, it means that you end up too passive, led into things. That’s bad too. I thought that after Shiro, you’d got better, but there’s still problems. You believe that every woman now you accept will stay with you forever. And we all intend to. But we never know the future. Some of us could die, or fall out of love. Not me.” She insisted. “But you have to prepare for that.”
“I have.” I sighed. “I know it isn’t fair, me having all you girls and demanding faithfulness. Well, I guess that’s just how men are. How I am, anyway. I’m hardly an expert in romance. But then, you and Shaeula both told me that being so pathetic about it just hurt everyone, and demeaned you all, and your resolve and feelings.”
“And she’s right. I’m right.” Eri agreed. “We’re not idiots falling for you for no reason. Sure, some reasons were perhaps less sensible that others, but we’re all our own people, and we chose this, chose you. But Akio... we have to accept reality. Not everything in our lives are perfect. Look at me right now. You think I want to be like this? But life is about making an effort, right? I’m not a passive, clingy girl anymore. Because if I was, eventually I’d end up alone. We’re not normal. Our paths go beyond what we could have imagined before. So, Daiyu...” she continued her questioning.
“Don’t you think that this talk of Dao Companions and Dual Cultivation are just ways to pressure Akio into accepting you?” she narrowed her eyes.
“I disagree.” Daiyu said immediately. “In fact, I am a little affronted. I genuinely believe that Akio is the one for me. You are not a Cultivator, you do not understand our ways, our Fates. I am in awe of his skills, his drive to improve. I have always been a prodigy, respected by others but never liked. Even the rare few others who broke Foundation Realm at my age were behind me in skills. I never... I never had somebody I could compete with earnestly, research with, share triumphs and failures with. Then, in my lowest point, when I was alone in a foreign land, my Sect destroyed, I met Akio. And I knew. He was the one I did not even know I was searching for.”
“So, it’s all about power, this Dao of yours then?” Eri pressed, and Daiyu shook her head.
“Perhaps in the past it would have purely been about that. Cultivation was my all. I certainly would never have considered Dual Cultivation, considering it beneath me.” She paused, face pink. “I confess, it is a Technique that was much derided in Kunlun, and that stigma has persisted through to this day with the new Great Sects, even though it is wildly efficient in allowing males and females to share their Qi, especially Yin and Yang. But often those who take this path are those who struggle with other Techniques, or those that have a promiscuous nature. Most do not have a Dao Companion, that deep connection.”
“So why you then?” Eri asked. “I can’t believe you are one who isn’t skilled enough to use other Techniques. You are a prodigy after all. Or is it you just felt you had to offer something?”
“No.” she shook her head as I watched the two converse via my translations. They were very different people, Eri a largely ordinary girl, who had accepted the absurdity of our lives to get what she wanted, and Daiyu, an ascetic, disciplined, dedicated martial artist who already knew the impossible, hidden side of the world. I have accepted Daiyu as someone to protect. Dao Companions... well, that’s perhaps another matter. “I am not interested in bribes. Though I confess that strengthening each other is a welcome prospect.” She smiled then, a full, genuine one. “I wish my Dao Companion to be strong, and kind. I am not promiscuous, I have never really considered romance, up until I lost everything. Now... I seek a family, no, closer than that. Really...” she reached out a hand, touching my cheek, and I didn’t stop her. “I do not see why you lack so much confidence. You do not believe I could like you so soon, do you?”
“Well, he doesn’t see himself objectively.” Eri agreed. “I get it. I liked the modest, self-effacing Akio, even if it frustrated me. It matched my personality better, but it also stopped us getting together. It took Shaeula rocketing into our lives, spreading her confidence, to change that. But Akio’s confidence is a fragile thing. Though recently it is starting to bloom.” As Daiyu stroked my face gently, tenderly, her dark eyes meeting mine, I really considered her.
“Hinata was thrilled you stood up for her and your rights with the nobility. I know you like win-wins, even wins where you lose a little so that both sides profit in the end. And that extends to your relationships as well. Else you never would have accepted Hinata, Motoko or Natsumi. Or even me.” Eri’s smile was bitter. “It’s hard changing how you see someone, and I was always another younger sister to you. Not anymore though.” she said proudly to Daiyu. “I won my war, Akio sees me as a woman he loves, and the same goes for the others. You... you need to step over that gap.”
“I genuinely wish for you.” Daiyu reiterated. “I never saw my Dao Companion, if I even thought of him, having other Companions, wives. But... as I have said before, I accept it. It is not like I do not know what you are, what is expected of me. I find you handsome, kind, supportive, intriguing... my chest feels tight when I look at you, and you make me feel safe, despite the desperate battles we have fought together.”
“Well, most of that is likely because of what you’ve suffered.” I told her, and she agreed, both hands on my face now, holding me, looking deep into my eyes.
“Of course. But we are what we have endured. After all, those that cannot endure will shatter, and their Dao shall break. However my feelings came about, they are true. I... I wish to be with you. Do you not desire me, like me? What can I do to make you like me, want me?”
“Not just Daiyu. It’s time to get things sorted.” Eri sighed. “Daiyu, I appreciate your honesty. I support you. I think that you’d fit in with us. We could be your family. I never saw myself being so open, not when I railed against Shaeula so, but that was jealousy, uncertainty. I was just insecure. Now I know that Akio will always love me, spend the long life Shaeula has promised with me, with us.”
Daiyu nodded, releasing my face, a touch regretfully, I thought, the lingering warmth of her hands on my cheeks.
“Yes, Akio, you’ve been rotten to Kana-chan. You rejected her in such a half-assed way it hurt to see. And you keep giving her hope. I get you don’t understand why she likes you, which makes it hard for you to consider her in turn. But forget that. I understand her quite well. She was protecting herself with a false, selfish shell her whole life. It’s hard being pretty, I know that. I hid from others, she presented a wall. Sure, she’s a bit of an annoying girl at times, but I know... her interest in you isn’t just for what she can get anymore. She’s like Aiko. She wants to forge her own path, but a path you’ll respect, be proud of. She’s a fool, but aren’t we all?”
“I know. It’s just so hard to understand...” I complained.
“No, it’s easy to understand. It doesn’t matter why. Kana-chan likes you. So... what matters is how you feel about her. But I think I’m approaching this wrong. Ugh, I wish Shaeula was here, she’s good at explaining these sorts of things.” Eri rubbed her eyes tiredly with her good hand. “I really never thought I’d have to play matchmaker for you, Akio. It should be a bitter feeling, but I find I’ve already accepted this. We’ll try another approach.”
Yeah, I know I have to sort Daiyu’s status. I get that. But... no, Eri’s right. I have been pretty awful to Kana. But I do know why... “All right. I get it. This might be a good time to hash everything out. But I have tried, haven’t I?”
“Yes, you have. But I still find it hard to scrape up any sympathy for you.” Eri smirked. “If you wanted an easy life, you should never have left Nishimorioka and just married me. We’d have had a quiet life, I’d be a housewife, you’d be in a modest job. We’d be poor and happy, having a couple of children, a boy and a girl maybe, and we’d have to look after Aiko too, she’d be no good without us.” she sighed. “I could have loved that life. But that’s not the one we got. Instead, I’m going to love this one. But you have to resolve yourself as well. I don’t want you to be the sort of man who accepts girls recklessly, strings them along. Either take them or reject them. Don’t be like that trash that was hovering around Aiko back in Nishimorioka. You’re better than that.”
Ugh, like Kenji-san, huh? No, I never want to be that sort... “You’re right.” I admitted. “I’ve been selfish.”
“Well, being selfish is fine. We’re all selfish, and you’ve earned a little selfishness. But do it right.” Eri sighed. “So Yae-san, Rika-san. Do you want to go out with either of them? Well, Yae-san would say she was your first date, and it annoys me that’s technically true, but nothing happened there, did it?”
“No. it didn’t.” I promised. “It was just showing a younger girl a good time, like I would for Aiko. Just some dinner and a little gift. As for dating them...” No, they’re nice enough and friends of my sis and Eri, but I don’t know them that well. They feel like friends or younger relatives, not anything more.
“Or Kana-chan’s friends and the other shrine maidens?” Eri pressed, not letting me sidestep the tangled web of relationships I was weaving.
No, I mean, they all seem to be good girls, and I feel rather guilty towards Hotene-san and Keomi-chan, since they got so hurt and traumatised, but... I don’t really have any interest in them that way. I want to see them grow, flourish, but... that’s all. Shaking my head, Eri smiled in triumph.
“Now we are progressing. We went through this before, where you told us the truth, about wanting Shiro, despite already having us. That was good. But you’ve been backsliding, and as first wife, I should be the one to talk to you about it. So, how about Karen-chan, or Haru-san?”
“Karen-chan huh? It wouldn’t feel right. I’m her employer, and she’s had a bad time with her previous employer and harassment. She likes her career now. No.” I shook my head. “As for Haru-san, that’s worse. You know how she’s suffered. I could never betray her trust like that, I respect her too much for that. I’ll not do anything that’ll jeopardise her newfound happiness.”
“Hmm.” Eri looked at me, thinking. “All right. Interesting. Well then, what about Tsukiko-san?” she said, and I paused at that, remembering her death, the kiss she snatched, the look she gave me.
That... Tsukiko-san... how do I feel about her? She was beautiful and tragic and heroic, and she deserved happiness, so much so that most of my struggle in Kyoto had been designed to save her life. I had been prepared to marry her, even if it was a sham, but instead, she had given me a great gift, part of her identity. “I...” my mouth closed as I confronted it, really thought about it. “... the thought of her being unhappy, of not being rewarded, it makes me angry, unhappy. I am determined to make sure she returns and that she lives the life she wants. I have to admit... she’s truly gorgeous too, almost unreal. Shiro’s as beautiful, but Shiro feels alive, vivacious, whereas Tsukiko-san is ephemeral, somehow sad. I hate that.”
“Of course you do. Daiyu, what do you think?” Eri asked.
“That sounds rather like love to me.” Daiyu agreed with Eri. “You wish for her happiness, you desire her, find her beautiful.”
“No, it’s not love, it’s sympathy.” I shook my head.
“And you don’t imagine holding her, soothing away her tears? Akio, you’re deliberately evading the truth again. For you, love is rooted in sympathy and compassion a lot of the time. It’s something I feel bad about, but I’ll never regret. But that’s not all. We’ll continue. How about Princess Mikasa?”
I nearly choked at that. “Why Yukiko-san?”
“Well, firstly, calling her Yukiko-san is pretty suspicious.” Eri snorted wryly. “But more importantly, Shaeula and Shiro are two of these Six Princesses Tsukiko-san told you about, right? Two is a bit early to be a pattern, but I’m still wary you’ll end up with the others too.”
“Honestly, I really don’t know her all well. I’ve even spoken to Daiyu a lot more, but I liked her. She’s a bit quiet and withdrawn, except when she’s with Tsukiko-san, and I know she worries about the burden of her role as Amaterasu’s Chosen, as well as being Imperial Princess, but when I’ve talked to her we’ve got on quite decently. I think we can be friends, and we’ll have to spend more time together as time goes on, in both the Boundary and the political sphere.”
“All right. I get it. Well, how about Moira and those two flirty elves?”
More? All right... “Well, I find Soliteare and Bellaera a bit... ugh, too pushy. I feel like they are eying me up like meat on a grill. Don’t get me wrong, they’re gorgeous, but...their pursuit is a bit off-putting, and I’m not into more arranged marriages. Moira, I like her a lot. She’s all business, competent and a career woman. She’s easy to talk to as well. And the fact she has no interest in me is almost relaxing...”
“Yes, the pieces are coming together now, wouldn’t you agree?” Eri said to Daiyu, who giggled a little.
“I see why you are asking all these questions. Making him think, making him analyse. It is a very Cultivator-like mindset.”
I choose how to spend, who to offer... damn, she’s right. Daiyu is more mature than I am. In fact, she’s probably more mature than any of us, despite her age. Even Shaeula admits she’s been sheltered too much, despite her age, and Hyacinth is well... never mind.
“I get it. Were you to take Daiyu out for a date, the police would be checking to see if you were a criminal.” Eri sniggered. “But then, that happens sometimes with Shaeula, right? We had that trouble in Las Vegas when she wanted wine. Really... you do have a type. I don’t really fit it.” Eri snuggled her ample chest against my other side. “Once I stopped hiding my face with my bangs, everyone was saying how mature I looked, like a university student. Poor Shaeula’s quite the opposite. Oh well... who cares what anyone else thinks? You’re the one who persuaded the Prime Minister to change the law on polygamy, right? Why do you care if people look askance at you because some of your wives are a little on the younger side? It’s not like you are hitting on middle schoolers like a lolicon pervert.” She turned to Daiyu again. “I’d be heartbroken if he did that. You and Hinata, you’re both mature in your own ways. If he ever strays, we have to correct him.” She pressed my head into her chest. “We’re the only girls you should be looking at.”
“Well, we’ve drifted of-topic again.” I managed, when Eri released me from her dangerous softness. “Daiyu, I am not shying away from you from lack of care, it’s a genuine worry. I’d like to show you how Eri and I share our lunar chakra, so that you have a better idea of the risks and problems, but I can’t yet, so...”
“Well, you could reproduce it from memory, right?” Eri pointed out. “With your stats you’ve got a photographic memory for things, if not your promises, seemingly. Oops, me too, as I said I wasn’t going to complain about your indecision and unfairness anymore.” She knocked her head and stuck her tongue out in an imitation of my sis, which was charming.
“Won’t that be a bit upsetting for you?” I asked her gently. “Considering your current state.”
“No, it’s fine. I know I’ll be healed sooner or later, just like Shiro was. Sure, it’s frustrating, but I can accept it.” Her ears flickered. “Besides, I think I’ll be Daiyu’s guide. We all agreed.” She paused, looking at me. “Well, it’s nothing to do with you really. Us girls decided some things that any girl who loved you has to abide by, or we won’t rest until we chase her out, even if you grow to hate us. But I trust you won’t bring in idiots who are terrible people. One thing I can tell you, is we decided that everyone who joins us should have a sort of... mentor, if you will? That way we can teach her the right ways to behave. Well, Shiro sort of doesn’t have one, as she’s a special case, but she gets on pretty well with Shaeula. As for Daiyu...”
“I understand. I would be happy to receive your guidance.” Daiyu approved.
“So, as her mentor, I say go ahead and show her what you remember. I’ll hide my embarrassment. As for Kana-chan... she probably doesn’t need a mentor, and wouldn’t want me if she did, but... maybe Hinata.”
“Don’t get ahead of yourself. After all, I might have missed my chance.” I reminded her.
“Well, I doubt it, considering how upset she was. but you certainly would have soon. She’s quite a catch, though she’d end up in charge of any normal guy.” Eri rolled her eyes. “All right then, get started.”
All right then. From memory, and I’ve never really looked at it with my Eye, but I could feel what was happening, so... After advising Daiyu it was just an approximation, I created images of Eri’s previous chakra network and mine, brightly-coloured lights continued to demonstrate the aether and elemental energies flowing between us, and as I did so, Eri looking interested, Daiyu devouring it with her eyes, curious, I found some insights myself. I see, so that’s how elements are shared. Fascinating...
********
“Are you ready?” Eri asked me, and I nodded. Daiyu was there too, as well as Shiro, who Eri had obviously filled in that morning over our early breakfast, the way she had been grinning at me unsettlingly while pushing Eri’s wheelchair.
“Yeah, I guess so.” I agreed, feeling surprisingly nervous. I don’t know why I am. Kana’s already said she likes me, and even if she says no, well, it’ll be a bit awkward for a while, but we’ll still be friends and colleagues. I’d have to watch my behaviour, be less selfish, but... ugh, why does this feel somehow worse than when I asked Shiro out? I thought she was going to shoot me down, so...
“Hilarious. Not that Aki is going for another girl, of course...” Shiro was saying as we headed to the shrine proper, where Kana would be getting ready for school about now. “... I find that a little annoying, but you all had to put up with it, so I’ll live, and Kana was obviously smitten with our idiot Aki, so I had it down as a matter of time, but... that he’s so scared. Shit, Aki, you confessed to me, Shirohime, this should be a walk in the park for you! It can’t be worse than facing that ugly toad blob, can it?”
“You’d think that, but oddly enough, I find battles easier, somehow.” I whined a little, and Daiyu reached out, taking my hand and giving it a squeeze. Well, after last night and our talk, we’ve definitely grown closer. She was so excited over seeing the Fae method, she’s now insisting on seeing me do the real thing. She thinks she can make her Dual Cultivation Technique even better apparently... and safe for her and me to use...
“It will be fine. Even should the worst happen, you shall always have me by your side.” Daiyu said softly, and Tan must have translated, as Shiro cackled.
“Whoa, looks like you two had some sort of heart-to-heart, you’ve got bold, Daiyu, and Aki here isn’t making that dumb Yasu face he sometimes does like he’s sucking on a lemon. Guess you’re really in now?”
“I am. I shall not pressure Akio to be my Dao Companion, though I sorely hope for it. Only to be my man, my ... boyfriend, as you would say. Marriage, Dao Companionship, Dual Cultivating... I shall entice him into all of them by being worthy, but most of all, by being a girl he delights in loving.”
“Shit. That killed my mocking mood.” Shiro said suddenly, abashed. “Hearing that, it just feels petty, laughing at Aki. Well, welcome aboard, Daiyu.” They exchanged nods, and Eri sighed.
“Done speaking Chinese? You could have translated for me.” She looked at me reprovingly.
“Sorry, I forgot, a lot on my mind.” We had reached the entrance to the shrine, where Nagi-san was out brushing the steps. On seeing us, she brightened.
“Oh, Akio-kun, what brings you here this morning? Nothing amiss, I hope? I can get you some tea, or breakfast, if you haven’t had it? Are you here to see Kana?” She leaned in conspiratorially. “She was in a foul mood last night. Are you here to apologise?”
“Not exactly.” I managed. “Oh, no breakfast thanks, we’ve eaten. But I am here to see Kana.”
“He certainly is.” Shiro snorted. At that and the look on Eri’s face, Nagi-san’s eyes went wide, before she smiled.
“Really. I see. So, is this something I should be fetching Daichi for?” she teased, and I held in a groan.
“Uh, well, I’ll probably need to speak to you two afterwards, maybe?”
“I see. Well, I know my daughters heart. Before all this...” she gestured with her broom, making a striking gesture. “I’d have chased you away as a pest and a pervert, Akio-kun. But...” she looked at the girls behind me, who were looking wry. “I’ve been watching your progress these last months. And I know. It’s best for the shrine, and more importantly, it’s best for my Kana. We have spoken to the White Snake kami often, and he tells us of the battles to come, the danger to the world. I’d rather Kana is protected, cherished, even if she’s not traditionally married. So long as she’s happy. And I’ll still see her in a wedding dress, right? Daichi won’t compromise on that, every father dreams to see his daughter happily married.”
I’m sweating, right? I shouldn’t be sweating, my Resilience should be handling this. But Nagi-san is pretty intense.
“Well, marriage is a bit hasty. The reason he likes Kana-chan is that he feels comfortable and not pressured with her.” Eri interjected. “But...” she rolled her eyes, and Nagi-san softly laughed.
“I get it. Well, this feels a bit bittersweet. My Kana, interested in romance. She’s always been popular with boys and men alike, but this is the first time she’s been interested in someone else. Well, good luck. I’ll dig out the good sake in case...”
Feeling no better, I headed on inside. Once in there I ran into Kana in her school uniform, the red blazer, white shirt and red and white checked skirt reminiscent of her uniform at the shrine. On seeing me, she looked surprised, before smoothing her face into a smile.
“Hey Akio, good morning. It isn’t like you to come visit this early. I’m sure mom will make you something if you want?”
“She’s already offered. In fact, it’s you I’m here to see.” I said, sweating internally.
“Oh? Is there something you need? I don’t have much time now before school, but if it’s plans for the party later, I can...”
“Uh, no.” I said awkwardly, hating how I could still be so clumsy with girls at times despite my experiences nowadays. Taking a deep breath, I surprised her by bowing. “Look, Kana. I’m sorry. For last night, and... for before.”
“Oh?” she narrowed her eyes, her expression tense. “And do you know why you should be sorry?” she asked, tilting her head. “It’d be a shame if you didn’t treat girls right, big bro.” Seeing her flirtatious appearance from when we first met was somehow soothing, though Eri clicked her tongue behind me. On seeing her, Kana shook her head, and her demeanour changed.
“Seriously, I was upset. No, is that the right word? Annoyed. Certainly annoyed. You... wait, I haven’t heard your answer.”
“I do know. You bared your heart to me, and I’ve not been kind. It’s not that I rejected you, I mean, we don’t have to accept confessions, do we? It’s just...” I sighed, feeling genuinely bad. I had been aware of it in the back of my mind, but flirting with Kana had been safe, relaxing, and was totally beneath me and hurtful to her. I guess even if I didn’t like her, I’d have to make it up to her somehow... “Sorry, Kana.” I bowed again. “It was wrong of me to treat you so carelessly, when I had rejected you. I shouldn’t have got your hopes up like that. I needed to be clear.”
She thought that over, nodding. “Yes, you did. I mean, I get it. I am the sort of girl boys love flirting with. But... yeah, it sucked. It wounded my pride, you know? And made me feel bad. I get that you weren’t doing it out of malice, but... well, I get it. We can keep a proper distance from now on, right? We are friends and I support your goals, but... I think it’ll be better.”
Okay, not quite the way this is supposed to be going. I’m talking myself into the friendzone here, right? “Kana, we do need to redefine our friendship.” I nodded. “I want you to understand, I found you so easy to get along with, fun... it was nice to spend time with a girl who had no baggage, no weight to carry...”
“I have plenty of baggage. Every girl does, right?” She blinked, a touch puzzled at the fact I was continuing to explain myself. Behind me, Shiro shook her head, and whispered theatrically that I was fumbling hard. “Well...” Kana continued. “I did always portray myself in a way I thought would attract you recently. I failed though.” she snorted bitterly. “So... yeah. Can’t wait forever, can I?”
“No, you can’t.” I agreed. “Stringing you along because I liked you, I was the worst. But... it was hard to admit I did like you. Because I feel, no... felt that unless a girl needed me, there were other options, better options for her. And you’re strong, proud, able to do whatever, be whoever you want. I don’t want to call you ordinary, as it sounds an insult, but... even without the changing world, you’d have done fine.”
“I would. Rich, handsome boyfriend, all the shopping and luxury lifestyle I wanted. I’d have been happy enough. Though now I see it’s hollow. Even though I have more money than ever.” She sighed. “You do pay us too well. I’m still in high school, but making adult money. Now though... well, I’m Kṣitigarbha’s Chosen and I guess I’ll be your vassal at some point, so we need to keep things good between us.” She tossed her head, dark hair fluttering, and I was struck again how pretty she was. I didn’t want to judge her against Eri, that would be rude to both of them, but they were in the same class of beauty, there was no doubt.
“We do. But not because of that.” I said, and Eri nudged me with her good arm. Seeing that, Kana’s breath caught as she replayed the words I had just said.
“Wait, you liked me?” she said, shocked. “As in...”
“Sorry. No, I’m sick of apologising, even though I was wrong. Kana, I thought you were cute when we first met. Without you, I’d never have got started with the shrines, and I’d have missed out on a lot. Even when my stupidity put you in danger, you never blamed me, though you should have. I’ve changed your life, and you don’t resent me. Instead, I find myself enjoying it when we talk together or hang out during training. I thought of you as a friend, yes, but... if I had the guts for it, I’d have...”
“Hold on, hold on.” She said, panicked, face red. “Eri-chan, Shiro, is he...? Seriously?”
“Yep, our Aki is a certified bonehead. Good to see not everything’s changed.”
“If you thought he was being a jerk flirting with you because he was being mean, he wasn’t. He was being selfish and insensitive, and don’t worry, he’ll get his punishment.” Eri promised. “But he couldn’t be that way with someone he doesn’t like...”
“Well, he flirts with Hisano-san, Mio-san and the others too.” She pouted, not willing to accept that. “But I admit... it feels different with me. Closer to like what you all have. Though I wondered if that was just my envy and pride speaking, making me see what simply wasn’t there.”
“Yes. Now can you all be quiet?” I asked, taking a deep breath.
“Kana, I...”
“Is he doing it? I’m still asleep, right?” Kana mouthed, and Eri managed to shake her head.
“... I like you. I may be a man with a lot of commitments, many women, but in today’s world, I’m hoping you can live with that. Well, you knew it before, so... I think you should be cool on that, all right?” I managed. “But... I’m not asking you out because I pity you, or feel bad for you. I wasn’t pushed into it... well, I was helped along, but only to realise how unfair I was being to you, and why. Kana, I think you’re the sort of girl I want to spend time with, play around with, hell, along with everyone else, we’ll maybe be fighting the world with. I know I hurt you, turning you down when you had the courage to confess, and trust me, right now I know just how rough that feels...” I laughed a little to try and diffuse the tension. “... and I’ve been unkind since, letting your feelings for me make me feel good without giving in return, but... I do like you Kana, and I want to give you happiness, along with the others. Will... will you be my girlfriend, go out with me?” I said the words, feeling relieved, and she froze.
“You can speak.” Eri said, kindly, and after a moment Kana blinked.
“Wait...” her face was bright red, so red I feared she’d faint, and all the bluster and bravado, Kana’s flirty, charming nature crumbled. “You... this is serious, right? You aren’t going to suddenly change your mind?”
“As long as you haven’t.” I promised. “ I like you Kana. Not just your looks, though I admit, they’re right in my strike zone. But you. Your charming, kind heart. All the other trainees look up to you, your cousin adores you. I love the way you reinvented yourself, changed, grew. And if I’m honest, when you said you’d move on to another guy and I’d be sorry one day, I knew that was true. So, if your feelings haven’t changed, Kana, please join me and the others on our journey, though good times and bad, together. But more importantly, with me. As my girlfriend.” There, I said it. Daiyu, Kana, really, I like them both. Tsukiko-san... well, she doesn’t know much of the world. But I think I understand. Like Yukiko-san wants, I’d love to teach Tsukiko-san all she’s missed. And if she wanted to experience romance, love... with me... I couldn’t say no to that. I wouldn’t want to.
“Akio. You love the way I reinvent myself. You like me... my personality? Really? You love me?” she asked, somehow desperate.
“Well like and love, they are just words.” I started, only for Eri to disagree.
“Important words. We women live off words. At least until we can feel the answers.”
“Well, to me they are just words. Because, Kana, I’ll prove with my actions from now on. Assuming you can forgive me, and still want to be with me, then...”
“Yes, Akio, I’ll go out with you.” She said, smiling at me brilliantly, her face red.
“I... ugh... I...” she started to weep, and I suddenly embraced her, letting her cry it out.
“You dummy, idiot, moron!” she wailed, heedless of her normal composed appearance. “You put me through so much, you made me wait. It’s not fair. You’ve always been so cool, when you saved me, from then on... I couldn’t see anything else... you made the old farts in the faith kneel, made them look at me with respect, our shrine too. I... I saw what the others had and realised I wanted it too. But... you kept me... waiting! Made me feel bad!” her fists battered me. “I felt so wretched when you flirted with me, like I was being... shown what I wanted but... couldn’t... ever have...” I stopped her words and tears with a kiss, and then she hugged me back, brown eyes peering into mine. As our lips parted, she hiccupped once, before her tears slowly stopped.
“Damn, I must look a fright. I can’t go to school like this. You’ve scrambled my mind, anyway.” Kana protested. Then she visibly gathered herself, her flirty mask returning. “Well, at least I can tell everyone at school I’ve finally got a boyfriend, right? Tonight, at the party... you’ll escort me properly, won’t you? You owe me that much.”
“Already making demands. Another yandere get.” Shiro laughed. Eri sighed, saying she would allow it, and seeing how it went, Daiyu congratulated her in crude Japanese.
“All right then!” Kana declared. “Just give me a minute to wash my face, okay? Uh... I’ll let you tell my dad. Good luck with that!” and with that she darted off, red even to her ears, the soft feel of her lips and the wetness of her tears lingering on my face. Well, the die is cast. But oddly enough, I don’t feel bad at all. Seeing her smile, a genuine one... I was an idiot not to reach out and grasp what was in my sight...