CH 23

(Advanced Chapters on Kofi and Patreon) (Hope you are enjoying these translations. Will do more novels in the future!) (Next Chp: Thursday)

The sun was setting, casting a golden glow across the sky and painting the Chenxiang courtyard with a serene aura. The two newly appointed maids for Cui Ti stood firmly in the courtyard, watching the sky. 

Bai Tang, having finished her work, had nothing else to do but count petals as she sat down. Suddenly, she heard footsteps and muffled voices outside the courtyard. 

Being the most vigilant of the three maids, she raised her head to assess the situation, always on guard against any potential bullies.

Cui Dai walked into their residence with a look of disgust on her face, accompanied by a string of followers. The Chenxiang Courtyard used to be her dominion, and she was resentful of having to cede it to Cui Ti. 

Bai Tang observed her with caution, seeing her as a militant rooster protecting her chicks. Well considering her gender, she would be a very aggressive hen. 

Seeing her like this, her favorability for the two new maids working with her raised.

Cui Dai and Cui Ti were sisters born to the same parents, with the elder sister being beautiful, gentle, and pitiable. Yet, how can the younger sister act so ugly?.

If Cui Ti is a lovely white magnolia that blooms in the spring and exudes purity and elegance, Cui Dai is like a delicate and wild pepper plant that grows in a water town, and turmoil appears to follow her wherever she goes.

"We greet Miss Dai," the two young maids said with a bow.

Cui Dai let out a soft snort and glanced at Bai Tang impolitely. 

However, Bai Tang was no longer the same timid servant as before. She had grown up and now being the only close friend of Cui Ti since childhood, her every move and word portrayed that of a dignified mistress.

Observing Bai Tang's composed demeanor, Cui Dai reminisced about the days where that blind woman and her servant lived in the small, shabby south courtyard. The memory of Bai Tang guarding Cui Ti with all her heart was still vivid in her mind.

Knowing that she holds a lot of weight in the blind woman’s heart, Cui Dai didn't pay any mind to her and asked the young maid next to her, "Where is your mistress?.”

To her surprise, the young maid replied, "The Young Master and Young Madam are taking a nap."

"A nap?!" Cui Dai exclaimed, looking up at the sky. The sun had just begun to set, so why were they sleeping during the evening? Though she was unhappy with their behavior, Cui Dai didn't dare to make a big fuss because of Pei Xuan's prestigious status.

As Cui Dai refrained from shouting or commanding, the two young maids stood up. Seeing this, Bai Tang felt delighted and stood up too.

Seeing this, Cui Dai's eyelids twitched.

It is expected that esteemed guests be invited to the main courtyard with respect for a cup of fragrant tea and carefully prepared snacks. However, the maids from the Prime Minister's Mansion are more spirited than those from any other estate. 

Since Miss Cui Dai dislikes their young mistress, they did not bother with such etiquette.

Liang Zhi, the head maid for the Xining Mansion, gestured for someone to bring a chair and said, "Miss, please have a seat."

Cui Dai's nanny moved her lips and furrowed her brows but did not dare to speak up. 

Cui Dai reluctantly sat down, too young to understand what was amiss and feeling only impatience.

As the sun descended on the horizon, a heavy breeze drifted through the Chenxiang courtyard.

Inside a room, the bed curtains rustled, and the beauty reclining on the high bed slowly awakened. Her vision was still obscured by a thick haze, and she felt a surge of panic: "Husband!?.”

"Wife~." Pei Xuan held her hand and reassured her with a smile, "I am here."

A familiar aura filled the room, and Cui Ti felt relieved, murmuring, "It's good that you're here…"

She was not yet fully conscious, and hearing a casual remark made Pei Xuan's heart flutter. Her eyes fixed on her wife's slightly swollen lips, recalling the taste of the wine from their kiss earlier. She didn't dare to look any longer and raised her head, gazing at the clock on the desk.

Cui Ti buried her face in Pei Xuan's neck and nuzzled softly, "Husband, what time is it?.”

She was still intoxicated, with her temples bulging, and even after falling asleep for a bit, she remained in a dazed state. Pei Xuan felt the warm breath of her drunken wife on her white delicate neck, and the scent of alcohol mixed with her natural beauty made her face flush and her ears burn. 

She was suddenly overwhelmed with a desire to do something naughty, a feeling she had never felt before.

"Seems like it’s midnight,” Cui Ti murmured with her muddled mind. "It's so late."

Meanwhile, in the courtyard, Cui Dai waited impatiently, her eyes filled with rage. 

Although she wanted to kill someone, she couldn't violate her father's orders, otherwise why would she come here to sit on a cold bench?.

Just as she had enough of waiting, her nanny remarked, "Miss Dai is thirsty."

One of the young maids raised her eyebrows, and grabbed a teapot that was already heated and said with a smile, "Isn’t this a coincidence? I’ll pour tea for you."

The young maid who carried the teapot called Ruo has been trained by Mrs. Pei herself knew how to deal with nobility. 

Unlike other nobles who loved to engage in unscrupulous behavior, Bai Tang had to learn how to calmly respond to others so she was watching Ruo attentively.

After waiting for what felt like an eternity for a cup of tea, Cui Dai was about to explode with anger. Just as she was about to let loose, Ruo finally appeared with a cup of tea, attentively and thoughtfully serving her. 

Though she felt framed and unable to vent her anger, she could not deny the excellent service provided by Ruo.

Bai Tang's eyes widened in amazement at the sight of Ruo’s exemplary service, causing her to almost call her Master and kneel before her in awe.

As for Pei Xuan, she was still inside the room, and her eyes fixed on her wife's open collar as she laid on her chest, lost in a drunken haze.

Her jade rabbit's were lovely and her delicate semi-circular body was on full display, as even the dress couldn't conceal their beauty.

Destiny brings about change, as one thing rises and another falls. 

Although Pei Xuan was extremely talented, she couldn't resist the allure of her wife who was acting like a child, and she found herself unable to resist embracing Cui Ti, realizing in a daze the truth of the saying "bitter the spring night, high the day is short." 

Not to mention that the wedding night was cut short, seeing her wife lay in her arms comfortably, Pei Xuan felt that her body couldn’t move.

Though not a womanizer, she was a healthy woman.

Immediately realizing what she was thinking about, Pei Xuan blushed with shame, but then felt the softness of Cui Ti’s chest.

It was no wonder that her friends always spoke fondly of their experiences in bed. 

Unbelievably, her current state was akin to a young man secretly eating the fruit of adulthood, lingering in its aroma with a heart full of drunkenness.

Though she was enjoying herself, she couldn't help but chastise herself for her lack of worth. 

Pei Xuan, who had always been self-assured and poised, now found herself doubting the marriage with the woman she loved. Not only had she deceived her, but she had also taken advantage of Cui Ti’s blindness. Therefore, was she not tarnishing the pure love that Cui Ti had for her?.

The thought of this filled her with guilt and overwhelmed her, and Pei Xuan slowly released her wife from her embrace, her face seemingly on the verge of tears. 

Being released from such warmth, Cui Ti naturally raised her head and looked at Pei Xuan, and only then did she fully awaken to the gravity of the situation.

"Husband?"

Pei Xuan was ashamed to face her, but also couldn't bear to neglect her. She was the one who needed to bear the guilt as her wife is innocent. 

She buttoned up Cui Ti's dress with a worried expression, and helped her up: "Wife, it's getting late.”

Cui Ti's heart quivered at her words, recognizing in Pei Xuan the same steadfast and gentleman husband from their past life. 

Yet the more upright she was, the further they seemed to drift apart.

Lying beside her in bed, she felt their souls separated by an insurmountable chasm, and unable to catch her breath as bittersweet memories of their recent days together filled her mind. It was as if a sharp blade had pierced her heart, leaving her to dream of Pei Xuan’s tender embrace once again.

Tears streamed down on Cui Ti’s cheeks as she looked at Pei Xuan, her expression pained and confused. "Why...am I not enough for you?" she asked, her voice trembling with emotion.

In her previous life, when she had first become Mrs. Cui, she had felt unworthy of the magnificent Pei Xuan. Despite her humble background, she had tried her best to enter his world.

At first she didn't think too much about it, and she just wanted to live in another place.

But as time went on, she found herself falling deeply in love with Pei Xuan. She treated her with such kindness and tenderness that she couldn't help but give her heart completely.

Yet when Cui Ti had offered Pei Xuan her love, she had been met with indifference, leaving her heartbroken and confused. 

Even in her final moments, she couldn't help but wonder if she had ever truly been the perfect match for Pei Xuan.

She believed that Pei Xuan only felt pity and compassion towards her, without any love. 

Her fears from the past and present merged, leaving her unsure if her thoughts were a mere illusion or if they held any truth. However, she refused to repeat the same mistakes and meet a tragic end in the desolate lotus pond once again.

She couldn't understand why Pei Xuan treated her so kindly, even ‘pouring’ wine for her before sleeping. How did she transform from a reserved and dignified moon from her past life to this vulnerable and delicate lady in her arms now?.

It seemed that the moon may be enchanting, but it was intangible and elusive, slipping away as soon as one touched it.

All Cui Ti ever really wanted was to be held tightly in her warm embrace or to hold her tightly herself. 

The turmoil of their love across two lives tormented her soul, but Pei Xuan was oblivious to her inner turmoil. As tears streamed down her wife’s cheeks, her heart ached with hers, and she whispered, "I love everything about you."

‘I like you so much that I feel it is a sin’, is what Pei Xuan wanted to say but the words couldn’t come out.

"I do not believe you…"

Although Cui Ti is easy to coax, it is only until she feels secure in her heart that Pei Xuan wouldn’t abandon her at any moment. Despite being blind, Cui Ti was a serious and committed woman, not a toy to be played with at a whim.

Besides, she had loved Pei Xuan in her past life even in death.

Often, when someone realizes they are in love, the feeling has already taken a deep root, and they desire the same depth of affection in return.

The thought of Pei Xuan not loving her was unbearable for Cui Ti.

Pei Xuan was sweating with anxiety and pleaded, "Wife, please don't cry." 

She tried to wipe Cui Ti's tears with the edges of her shirt but Cui Ti lightly swatted her hand away.

Seeing this, Pei Xuan froze, and her eyes lowered in silence.

"You always give up!,” Cui Ti wept as she exclaimed.

Pei Xuan faced her, and retorted softly: "I don't."

"You already have!."

Pei Xuan who was the number one scholar in Xijing, even when facing the Emperor in the Golden Hall, could answer his questions fluently, yet now, she could only retort to her wife.

In moments of conflict, it's often those who know us best who have the power to hurt us the most deeply. For Cui Ti, who had never been one for quarrels, the tears streaming down her cheeks only served to highlight her fragile beauty. 

"You married me!," she cried, her voice shaking with emotion, "but you keep me at arm's length. You treat me like a mere formality, as if our marriage means nothing to you!."

Her sobs grew louder, her frustration and sadness reaching a fever pitch. "Yet, why don’t you want to consummate our marriage!?" she accused, feeling a mix of anger and hurt. 

How could Pei Xuan refuse her such an expression of love and intimacy even avoiding it on their wedding night?.

In the first sentence of Cui Ti’s words, she analyzed Pei Xuan's thoughts, and as for the second sentence...

Pei Xuan touched her nose shyly and with a strange expression thought to herself, ‘How could she not want to consummate the marriage with her wife?.’

It was simply because she dared not.

Just looking at Cui Ti, who was crying, Pei Xuan couldn't figure out how the topic turned to "keeping her at a distance to consummating the marriage", and her pretty eyebrows frowned: "You misunderstood me, wife.”

Cui Ti stared at her fiercely and asked, "Where did I misunderstand?.”

She was giving her a chance to explain. Realizing this, Pei Xuan put her arms around Cui Ti’s waist, pulling her back into her embrace and said, "I'm not a tree or a stone. How could I not know how wonderful my wife is?.”

Cui Ti, her tone betraying her annoyance, asked, "Do you really think I'm wonderful?.”

Pei Xuan found her forthrightness charming and couldn't help but laugh. "My wife is the only one for me. I have high standards, and ordinary women don't interest me."

Cui Ti was deeply moved by her words, and most of her resentment and worry dissipated. But she asked tentatively, "Is there anything else?.”

Facing her question, Pei Xuan felt distressed and replied, "I also don’t want to keep a distance from you.”

Asking her to say these next few words is more difficult than writing ten long poems in a row, but she could only continue to be honest: "I, I have misbehaved, and had these impure thoughts…”

The more Cui Ti listened, the more strange she found Pei Xuan to be, "What's wrong with you?.”

"I," Pei Xuan's neck flushed and she took a deep breath, "I want to..."

Cui Ti's eyelashes hung with tears, confused: "Huh?.”

At first, Pei Xuan remained silent, but eventually, she could no longer keep the truth to herself. She approached her wife with a weak demeanor and spoke in the gentle voice of a scholar.

The moment Cui Ti heard the word "touch," her body trembled.

Pei Xuan closed her eyes and said, "I have taken advantage and thought about the beauty of you in a filthy way….”

Cui Ti could feel the passion burning within Pei Xuan's gaze. She sensed her desire, and in that moment, she felt a rush of courage, as though she was ready to take any risk to be with her.

Her fingers twitched slightly as she pressed her lips to Cui Ti’s ear, her voice husky with emotion. "Now you understand the depth of my struggle, and the weight of my sins."