I would follow behind, trying to hide my tracks.
It was only when they were far away from the school gate that the two of them would walk closer to each other.
Sometimes, Lin Li would take his hand and smile brightly when she faced him. Dongyu would look at her tenderly, the way he had once stood beside me and gazed at me tenderly.
Sometimes, he would gently put his arm around her shoulders. The two of them would occasionally play around and occasionally display some intimate actions.
Like a masochist, I witnessed their intimate moments with my own eyes.
I imagined that Dongyu would hug her often, hold her hand, kiss her, and perhaps at some point, sleep with her.
At that thought, I couldn’t help but wonder if they had already slept together.
Did they do that… thing?
I felt that it was a little dirty to try to figure out this matter, but I couldn’t help thinking about it, till it gave me a splitting headache, till my heart knew nothing but pain.
During the time I was dating Su Qi, I really did put in a lot of effort to make things work.
Walking with him through the streets where I’d once walked with Dongyu, going to the ice cream shops, the movie theaters, and the library where I’d only been with Dongyu… it was almost as though I had projected that person’s shadow onto Su Qi, even though on the other hand I thought it was unfair.
But I really didn’t know what else I could do to make myself fall in love with this sunny, handsome boy.
And I didn’t know how to sever my feelings for Dongyu.
I had asked Su Qi about this before.
I asked him, “Su Qi, what would you do if you fell for someone that you shouldn’t have?”
He asked in return, “What do you mean, shouldn’t have?”
“It just means you shouldn’t have liked her, that it’s impossible between you and you’re destined to never be together.”
“How is that possible? I don’t believe in such things. As long as I like her, I’ll go after her until I get her.”
“But… what if you really can’t be together?”
“Impossible!”
I gathered my courage and asked, “What if that person is your sister?”
Su Qi looked at me and was stunned for a long time. Then, he suddenly let out a sneer. “How is that possible?! That is incest, I’m not a pervert!”
As soon as he had spoken, his expression froze for a long time before he looked at me meaningfully.
Perhaps from that day onwards, he had vaguely sensed the subtle relationship between Dongyu and I. As a result, he would use various means to test me.
I thought he must also be wondering if my feelings for Dongyu were what he imagined.
He would often tell me details of Dongyu and Lin Li being together.
One time, Su Qi took me to a gathering with friends. In the KTV, he casually mentioned to me that by chance, he had spotted Dongyu and Lin Li walking out of a hotel together.
“Could they have booked a room?”
He gave me a frivolous smile.
I was a little upset at him and chided him, “Don’t spout nonsense unless you’ve personally witnessed it!”
“Xiachun, how should I tell you this? What else would two people do at a hotel? I can’t think of any other reasons for them being there.”
Speaking of booking a room, I suddenly remembered Su Qi’s words.
He had once said that unless it was out of my own willingness, he would not expect us to be overly intimate with each other.
I asked him what he meant by being “overly intimate”.
He said matter-of-factly, “As for booking a room, Dongyu had warned me that if I dared to trick you into doing anything like that, he’d break my legs.”