Translator: Atlas Studios Editor: Atlas Studios
Sometimes, I felt like I was a hopeless idiot who held onto the knife’s edge too tightly, refusing to let go even when my hands were covered in blood.
I opened the diary and wrote on this page with great difficulty. “Liking someone I shouldn’t like, is like sailing against the current with no end in sight. Liking you and love is one thing, it’s inseparable. Giving up, means giving up everything. However, if liking you only brings pain, I’m willing to give up everything.”
I closed the diary and held it tightly in my arms. Unconsciously, my tears fell.
The next morning, I nonchalantly picked up my school bag like I was going to school. In the past, Dong Yu and I would always go to school together, but early in the morning at the intersection, I parted ways with Dongyu. He walked in front, and I hailed a taxi to the hospital while he wasn’t looking.
Su Qi had given me a few hundred dollars, which I took from him in shame. If I could, I would never have taken the money.
After returning to the hospital, I went back to the ward to lie down.
The next two days I did the same. I sneaked home at night and sneaked back to the hospital in the morning. Su Qi would come to the hospital to keep me company after school.
Han Xiao would come too. After what happened at her house that day, I saw that her face was red and swollen. It looked like she had been hit. It made me feel even more guilty.
Two days later, it was time for surgery.
Su Qi paid all the medical bills for me.
He stayed with me right up to the time that I had to go into the operating room. Outside the operating room, he held my hand tightly and said over and over, “Don’t be nervous. The doctor said it’s a minor operation. I won’t go anywhere, I’ll wait for you here.”
“Uh huh.”
I closed my eyes as I was pushed into the operating room.
Outside the operating room, there were a few trolley beds. It made me feel as though this was not an operating theater but a slaughterhouse. It might be a little unkind to say this, but I saw the doctors squatting outside the room casually, leaning against the wall with their blood-stained sterile clothes. They chatted casually with smiles on their faces.
Dealing with matters of life and death every day, I didn’t suppose they thought much of surgeries like mine.
After the anesthesia, I lost consciousness.
When I woke up again, I was in the ward.
I opened my eyes and looked at the blank ceiling.
“Su Qi?”
As soon as my anesthesia wore off, an intense pain engulfed me.
I forced myself to sit up. As I leaned against the headboard, I saw that the room was filled with people.
There was Dongyu, my father, my mother, Su Qi, and Han Xiao…
I was shocked by what I saw. I didn’t know if this was a dream or if it was reality. I didn’t know why they were here!
Su Qi stood by the side with a gloomy expression. Dongyu sat by the bed without saying a word.
“Mom… ”
Stunned, I opened my mouth and said the word with difficulty.
Seeing that I had woken up, my mother’s suppressed anger flared up again. The next moment, she turned aggressive and lunged at me. She grabbed my hair and slapped me twice!
“Yin Xiachun! Are you trying to anger me to death?! How did you get pregnant?! You’re still in junior high, only junior high! You’re still so young, yet you can’t behave decently! Didn’t I tell you before that girls should have self-respect and self-love? Have you ignored everything I’ve told you?!”
I covered my face.. It burned, but I felt numb.