I saw the glimmer of hope in her eyes and smiled faintly. “I haven’t thought of coming back. It’s good to be in America alone. It’s quiet and peaceful, without any disturbances. Besides, I’m looking for a job in America. After I find a job, I’ll settle there.”
“Look, you yourself said you’re alone. Don’t you feel lonely?”
“I’m used to the cold and cheerless atmosphere. In fact, being in a crowd suddenly will be difficult for me.”
My mother was rendered speechless. With her back to me, she suddenly sighed. “Just come home, Xiachun!”
Suddenly I laughed. “Mom, you forget that America is my home.”
I saw the change in her expression before she quickly hid it with a smile and rebuked me, “Look at this child… what nonsense are you saying? Let’s not talk about this anymore. Come in first!”
I saw her surreptitiously wipe the tears from the corners of her eyes before opening the door. I stood at the door and studied the porch for a long time before stepping through slowly.
The moment she got in, she shouted, “Hubby, our daughter is back!”
A moment after, a figure emerged from the kitchen.
It was my father but he looked a little aged from the last time I saw him.
The only emotion I felt upon seeing him again was the thought of how time made people old. There were little feelings otherwise.
I smiled faintly and greeted him, “Dad.”
“Xiachun! You’re back!”
My father chuckled. When he smiled, the crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes deepened. White streaks had begun to appear among his black hair.
I only nodded and went straight into the house. I didn’t spend much time exchanging pleasantries with him.
Perhaps I’ve grown so cold as to consider myself an outsider. Where this home was concerned, I felt more like a guest.
My mother welcomed me to sit down on the sofa, then suddenly asked, “Do you want to go to your room to take a look?”
“My room?”
I thought it was funny.
I had not even lived in this house for a day. How did I end up with my own room?
“Dongyu set it aside for you when we moved here. He said this wouldn’t be much of a home if we didn’t set up a room for you here.”
I nodded when I heard Dongyu’s name.
She led me to the room. Despite the fact that I had imagined various models of how it might look, I was still stunned when I saw it.
It was the same layout as the room I used to live in. A desk, a single bed, a bookcase, and a computer desk.
On the desk, there was my bag, my homework, all neatly stacked and arranged like bricks.
Behind me, my mother smiled and said, “Dongyu comes to your room every day to sit for a while and talk to the photos on the desk.”
She walked to my side. “When he was in university, his room was always in a mess. But your room was always clean and without a speck of dust.”
I sat down on the bed. She looked at me and seemed a little uneasy. Then she said, “Sit here for a while. I’ll go help your dad.”
“Uh huh.”
My cold reply made her even more uneasy. She turned around and left, forgetting to shut the door in her haste.
After she left, I walked around the room and casually pulled open a drawer. There was my diary, lying in its original position.
I was a little surprised that the diary was still in one piece.
I’ve always thought that my mother would have tore it apart.
I picked it up and flipped through a few pages. I suddenly realized that something about it was a little strange.
Then I figured out, underneath the original lines I wrote, there were lines in blue ink.
As I stared at them, I froze.