CH 4019

“Sigh.” Gong Shaoying let out a heavy sigh and fell back onto the sofa in deadly silence.

The door swung open again.

Gong Jie entered and saw him sitting in the gloom, looking depressed. “Father,” he finally said.

Gong Shaoying nodded. “How is she?”

“She’s left. I’ve asked the driver to send her home.”

“You should send her home yourself. Otherwise, I’ll be worried.”

“But you…”

“You don’t have to worry about me.” Gong Shaoying waved his hand weakly. “I’ll be fine sitting alone for a bit.”

Without another word, Gong Jie turned and left. The door shut behind him. However, Gong Shaoying did not notice the figure hiding quietly in the corner of the escalator on the second floor.

The boy stood expressionlessly in the corner. Earlier, when he heard what Yun Shishi and Gong Shaoying said, he had felt a little upset. Loss, grievance, loneliness, unwillingness, guilt… He knew that the sweet, innocent boy he had once been, held an unshakable place in his mother’s heart. He also understood that even giving everything he had might not replace the boy’s former place in her heart. But he wanted to try.

So he occupied this body and stayed with her, all he wanted was her acknowledgment. He wanted to replace the previous Youyou. But it didn’t seem possible…

No one can ever replace another person. Everyone is unique. No one can be replaced.

But why couldn’t he? Had he not done well enough? Was he not as good as that Youyou? He was already trying to change. Mommy loved to see him smile. Even if he wasn’t very used to smiling at others, he tried to be sunny, tried to be that innocent and simple character. However, he was the second personality to begin with, a personality born of darkness. How could he transform into real sunlight?

This was a disguised suppression. He had also toyed with the idea of giving up. He wanted to give up and let the original boy return to his body. Whereas the boy had chosen to sleep forever and never wake up.

But… He couldn’t do it. Even though he was born of darkness, he instinctively felt the warmth. Yun Shishi was as warm as the sun. Gradually, he became fatally dependent on such warmth. That was why he was hogging this body. He wanted to play the part of the previous Youyou and claim all her favor. But now, he’d heard it with his own ears. Yun Shishi missed the previous Youyou so much that she wanted him back with her.

He’d learned from Gong Jie that Yun Shishi was meeting with Gong Shaoying, so he’d come here in secret. He hadn’t told anyone, just because he was worried. Hence, he’d hidden himself on the second floor and overheard their conversation. Except that after hearing her true thoughts, he could not help feeling a little sad.

Was he … unwanted? The boy could not help doubting himself.

She seemed to miss the previous Youyou, but what about him? Didn’t she need him? Couldn’t he replace the other boy? So what was the point of his existence now?

The boy put his hand over his heart and squatted down, looking forlorn, hugging himself helplessly. He craved warmth too. He was Youyou, too. He was part of this life. Why was he not needed and so rejected? He… he wanted a family too!