CH 4241

Yun Shishi nodded grimly. “I know that, too. I agree that he shouldn’t be so reliant on me. But the fact is that he is so much more independent now compared to in the past.”

“Actually, I can understand the bond between the two of you. After all, you’ve been there for him for a very long time, at least since he was born, so you are irreplaceable as his anchor. By the same token, you rely on him and he is irreplaceable as your anchor. It’s just that it doesn’t occur to you that he can’t rely on you forever.”

Yun Shishi grunted in agreement. “I understand. But the priority now is to find out what has happened to him?”

“Do you want Gong Fan to come back?” Alice asked her in a serious tone.

Yun Shishi did not answer at once, but looked at Alice hesitantly.

Alice sighed. “I can see you’re hesitant. On the one hand, you can’t bear to part with Gong Fan, but on the other, you don’t want him to be dragging Youyou down, right?”

“Uh huh.”

“Youyou only feels guilty about Gong Fan. What about you? Is there anything else besides guilt?”

Alice’s question sent her into a reverie. In her mind, she could already imagine Gong Fan snuggling in her arms and clinging on to her helplessly. She remembered how he was always arrogant in the presence of others. However, in her presence, the boy had a sense of vulnerability that few others could detect.

“Mommy, don’t ever abandon me…”

He was afraid she would abandon him. She understood that the trade-off was now entirely in her hands.

Did the boy really care that much about Gong Fan? Not necessarily. It was probably more of guilt than anything else that he felt towards Gong Fan. However, mostly, he was afraid that Yun Shishi would be sad

The boy probably had many ways to make Gong Fan disappear and send him into exile. Even if Gong Fan was unwilling to leave, Yun Shishi would only have to say “I don’t want you anymore!” And Gong Fan would leave dejectedly for sure.

But… The paradox was that she would rather Gong Fan lived in her world than the boy’s. If it had been her, she would have been willing to shoulder any amount of pain. Except that if it were the boy, she couldn’t bear for him to be so burdened. And she had no right to interfere with his thoughts.

If Youyou was unwilling to co-exist with Gong Fan, there seemed little point in her forcing it. Besides, if she were to put the boy in a dilemma, he would be the one suffering. Her heart ached at the thought.

She let her hands fall limply to her sides and sighed. “Forget it. There’s nothing I can do to keep Gong Fan. In any case, I just want Youyou to be well. There’s no way I can impose so much mental burden on him for my own selfish reasons. If you have to force me to make a decision, I’m willing…” She could hardly finish her sentence. She looked up at Alice solemnly, held back her tears, and choked, “I’m willing to give up Gong Fan.”

The words cut her to the core. But she had no choice! She could not stand by and watch the boy sink into misery.

Give it up!

This was what Yun Shishi told herself. Youyou would understand her decision, she thought.

Alice looked at her calmly, understanding her struggle.

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