Book 1: Chapter 10: The Taxman Cometh

Book 1: Chapter 10: The Taxman Cometh

No.

The human stared up at me, and his eyes blinked as comprehension failed to dawn inside his greasy skull.

Come again?

You heard me.

You will receive no coin from me. I rumbled, voice flat. Whatever this was, any amusement had been taken out back and shot after the first minute. My day was not yet ruined, but it was on track to that destination.

Mister Garek, He sniffed again and waved a sheaf of magical parchment at me. I understand things may have been done differently in whatever place you dragged yourself in from, but here on Baron Ironnmoors lands, matters are handled in a different wa-

Dont care. I interrupted, arms folded. Fuck off.

I had no idea who this man was, if he really worked for this Baron, if he was a conman, whatever. And at this point, I had no patience left to find out.

Mister Garek. He insisted in what Im sure he imagined was a forceful manner. I have a document right here that proves beyond all doubt my words.

He flipped open a folded letter that glinted with light, frowned, and pulled out another. With another imperious sniff, it was extended to me. And held there as I continued to stare him down.

Youre supposed to accept it. He hinted thinly after a few moments. I did not.

With a disgruntled expression, he flipped it open and began to read.

By the order of Baron Ironmoor, Regent of the Redtip peaks, Knight-commander of the Purple Flame, first of his name, the Lion of Kunath, long may he reign, the owner of the Property formerly in possession of the now-deceased Farmer Herrikson must carry his debt of Seven hundred and twenty six gold pieces, to be paid at all due haste, failure to comply will lead to harsh consequences.

I couldnt give two fucks, but I didnt humor him by saying so.

He waved the paper at me, obviously expecting me to be impressed by the wax seal and gaudy ribbon that hung from it.

Mister Garek, He implored again, his voice ever so slightly shrill. You have a contractual obligation!

My silence remained the only answer.

Remove yourself from my property, or you will be removed. I rumbled. I meant it. Gol peaked out from behind a stand of trees, and I briefly considered siccing the burly beast on the shrill human.

Mister Garek, He sniffed in return, chest puffed up. Are you threatening violence on an agent of the lawful regent!?

I do not threaten, taxman. I promise, and I deliver on my promises. I shifted closer to loom over him, and the man seemed to realize how small he was before me. I could kill him, here and now. Feed his carcass to the biter pods and have them grow. The Garek who inhabited this body before me would have. Inwardly, I hesitated, as I wanted to be a better man.

It was then that I was reminded of the horses the thugs had left behind. Well, this day might end up being a net positive after all. It took far, far more time than I was proud of to approach the animals. I couldnt catch them, not when they had so much space to run off to, and my scents frightened them. But I persevered, slowly moving towards them with soft, gentle words and slow movements. In the end, I did catch up to them, one at a time, and led them over to the pasture.

I didnt bother working more that day. I now had a new enemy to chew over, and an already eventful day behind me.

The taxman showed up. Was what I explained to Ishila and Lerish once they returned, several massive cows driven before them. The herd, or rather group, stomped and snorted the entire time as we drove them to pasture.

Mmmm. The huntress nodded. Ironmoors debts?

I sighed and confirmed, that yes, there had been inherited debts.

Refused to pay? Good. She nodded. Leech wants a bite of area. Fuck him and his thugs.

They don come further than our place. Ishila nodded solemnly. Scared of Ma.

Lot of things with sense are. Lerish shrugged. Lots of farms long this road they still shake down, though.

They left several men short today, and I am several horses heavier than I was yesterday. They attacked without warning, and I defended myself. Didn't want to, but I did.

Good.

The huntress and Ishila stayed for supper as we sat in the shade of evening, a fresh, small herd of cattle put to pasture. The animals were much larger than what cattle I was used to, their coats dark red and thick obsidian horns above their heads. Similar to mine.

Ishila noticed my looks and scratched at her neck before she spoke.

My theory don hold much water, but Id wager they were modified with minotaur essence. She paused. Kinda weird though, no?

I laughed and waved her concerns off, assuring her that all was fine. They could be milked all the same, and it mattered little to me what they had been modified with.

Ironmoor, tho. She spoke, a frown on her face as she leaned forward in her seat. Pa says hes a leech, but a dangerous one. Big name, from an old house, in good with the crown, lets of riders under his banner.

Bad man. Lerish grunted, side turned to us. Dont underestimate him. He loves conflict. Peace burns a hole in his pocket, methinks. Bad metaphor.

He should be distracted, for a time. The Riders of the Verdant Dawn are gathered in Hullbretch, and he apparently has a feud with them.

Hmmm. Ill head out then. Lerish suddenly announced. Ishila bounced to her feet and volunteered to keep her company up the road, a matter I wished them luck with. With them gone, it was once again me and Gol in each others meager company. After some time, I remarked that the unpleasant business of killing aside, the day had gone rather well. I now had several new cows, a pair of horses, the contents of their saddlebags and knowledge.

A wee bit lighter on gold, but Garek had a very nice amount left, and this being a farm built from nothing, investments would have to be made. Still, the bulk of spending was now behind me, and soon it would be time to see the profit. And I could not wait.

Farmer Level Four reached. Sleep to apply.

The local authorities have branded you a Tax Evader. Status updated.