Chapter 322 All-or-nothing

Chapter 322 All-or-nothing　　The car was filled with deafening silence following Lucy's declaration. Tom's expression didn't give away whatever he was thinking as he continued to drive, and he didn't bother to spare her a glance.

While Lucy was thinking that it had come out wrongly and she should apologize and explain herself properly so that Tom wouldn't misunderstand her, Tom, on the other hand, was wondering what could have possibly prompted her to make such a statement. He understood that what she meant was that she didn't want to get married, and it wasn't about him. Still, he couldn't understand why she brought it up this way.

"I am sorry that came out wrongly."

"I never said I wanted you to marry me," they both said at the same time and turned to look at each other.

For some reason, Lucy couldn't help feeling hurt by his response. Although she didn't want to get married to him, why would he say something like that to her? He wasn't thinking of making her his wife? Even though if he proposed to her, the answer would be no, she still expected him to at least desire marrying her. Was she being unreasonable?

Neither of them said a word to each other until Tom parked the car in front of her apartment and turned off the car's ignition.

Lucy unbuckled her seatbelt, ready to get out of the car, but Tom stopped her, "You are going to leave just like that?" Somehow Tom felt like the table had been turned following his response. It seemed like she was the one who was upset with him now when he should be upset by what she said. The only difference was that she had apologized. 

"Is there anything more you want to say? I said I don't want to get married to you, and you said you don't want to get married to me either. That pretty much settles it. I don't see what else we need to talk about," Lucy said coolly, ignoring the ache in her heart as the words left her lips, and Tom shook his head. 

"Are you being serious right now? You make such an announcement, and then you want to leave without talking about it?" Tom asked, trying not to sound as annoyed as he was beginning to feel since he didn't like how she was going about it all. 

First of all, he had not brought up any issue about marriage because he understood that she probably wasn't thinking in that direction yet. Still, for reasons best known to her, she had chosen to explicitly spell it out to him that she didn't want to get married to him, and now she was upset because of what he said? What had she been expecting him to say? 

Lucy said nothing but didn't make any more attempts to get out of the car. She remained in her seat with both hands folded in front of her as she looked outside her window while she waited for him to say whatever it was he wanted to say. 

"Did my mom or anyone say anything to you about marriage?" Tom asked the first question on his mind, since it was his mother who had been going on and on about settling down.

"No."

"No? Then did I say or do something to pressure you?" Tom asked, trying to understand her. 

"No."

"So, where did that come from?" Tom asked in confusion as he stared at her. 

Lucy turned to look at him, "I don't see any reason why we are still talking about this when you have already said you don't want to get married..."

"Can you stop saying that? I never said I didn't want to get married to you," Tom interrupted. 

Lucy turned to him, "You said..."

"I know what I said. What I meant was, I never asked you to marry me in the first place, yet you said you didn't want to marry me. Where did that come from? Did I propose to you without my knowledge? Was there something I did that made you feel that you needed to spell it out to me in such a way? Or is this because I left my card with the cashier?" Tom asked, looking at her with serious eyes. 

Lucy sighed, "I admit that I shouldn't have said it in that manner. It wasn't my intention to be rude. I'm sorry."

"Do you want to break up?" Tom asked since it seemed to him like Lucy was edging away from his questions.

Lucy's heart skipped a beat, "Break up? Why? You want to break up with me because I don't want to marry you?" She asked, her heart racing as different thoughts ran through her mind. 

"No. I don't want to break up with you. I'm asking if you want to break up with me because I don't understand you right now or what is going on in your head. I am trying to understand you right now, but I don't understand you. So tell me, did you say that because you want to break up with me? Is that what this is about? Is everything getting to you so much that you want a break from me? From our relationship? Do you need space?" Tom asked without taking his eyes away from her. 

Tears gathered in her eyes as she shook her head. She wasn't sure if she was going about this the right way, but one thing she knew was that she didn't want to ruin her relationship with him. He made her happy, and she loved him dearly.

"No. That is not it, I swear. I really love you, Tom. I don't want to break up with you. I was worried that you might be thinking about marriage, and I didn't want you to get the wrong idea, so I thought I should let you know before you do anything," Lucy said as a tear dropped from her eyes. 

"The cashier called you my husband, and then I kind of freaked out when I saw you in the jewelry shop with a jewel box earlier," Lucy confessed, and Tom's brows arched.

Listening to her, Tom could understand how an overthinker like her could have processed it all in her head and then blurt out something like that, "First of all, I never told the cashier or anyone else for that matter that I was your husband. I only described your appearance to her and asked her to use my card for the payment and give the card to you," Tom said before reaching into his pocket. 

He took out the jewel box and opened it to reveal a pair of gold cufflinks, "I was receiving too much unwanted attention as I hung around waiting for you since I thought you were going to be quick. When I couldn't hang around anymore, I took your advice to window shop. I saw these cufflinks in the jewelry shop, and I bought it," Tom explained. 

Lucy shut her eyes as a flood of embarrassment washed over her. Now she felt silly for assuming that he had bought an engagement ring. Besides, taking a closer look at the box now, it didn't look as fancy as a ring box, "I'm sorry," Lucy whispered. 

"There is nothing to be sorry about. I'm crazy about you, Lu. I'm completely head over heels in love with you. I'm an all-or-nothing person; hence I am unable to stop myself from holding back in expressing my love to you, but that does not mean I'm unreasonable. I haven't forgotten how you used to feel about men and being in a relationship. I wouldn't be so stupid as to propose to you or talk about marriage so soon when we just barely started dating," Tom said, and Lucy opened her eyes slowly to meet his gaze. 

"I'm sorry, I should have known better. I misunderstood and just thought you wanted us to get married..." 

"Don't be sorry. The only thing you misunderstood is the timing. I had no intention of raising the subject of marriage any time soon. That does not mean I don't plan to make you my wife. I'm not going to tell you that I don't want to marry you just to make you happy. I will be lying to both myself and you if I say something like that. And I promised not to lie to you anymore, so I won't," Tom said, looking into her smoky gray eyes. 

"But I really don't want to get married," Lucy said, and Tom nodded.

"You've made that clear, but I also really want to get married to you. So, since neither of us is thinking of breaking up, we will need to figure out a way around what we both want. For the time being, let's focus on the reason we are here and continue with this conversation later in the day when we are more relaxed. Is that okay?" Tom asked, and Lucy gave him a nod, relieved that he was taking it well.

"Yeah," Lucy said, and they both got out of the car. 

"I'm sure you'll need some time alone in your apartment. I will head to mine. Let me know when you are ready to leave," Tom said as he locked the car.

"Sure. Thanks. Please ask Sonia to come over," Lucy said before turning to leave. 

Tom watched as she walked away, and then he called out to her, "Jewel?" 

Lucy turned to look at him questioningly as he approached her with slow and deliberate steps, "I am not letting you go, Lu. I don't know how we are going to make this work, but we will have to find a way," Tom said as he kissed her forehead, and butterflies fluttered in her belly as she watched him walk away.